Happily Ever Now (Boundless Love Book 2) (11 page)

‘I had no idea she’d even been to the hospital.’

‘I think I’ve said too much, you really need to speak to her.’

‘Don’t worry, I won’t mention it, but I am concerned. Did she tell you what it was about?’

‘No she didn’t, she just said she needed time to think.’

‘Oh gosh.’

Alice nodded and waited for him to let her know his way forward.

‘Okay, thanks for your help, I might know someone who can help.’

‘Okay, I’m sure everything will be okay,’ said Alice.

They hung up.

‘What’s going on Alice? Is my daughter ill again?’ Elizabeth stopped with the arrangement.

‘I honestly don’t know. But I do know that she received some news from the hospital that has put her off balance.’

‘Oh God, not again.’

‘Don’t jump to conclusions, she didn’t tell me what it was, so I don’t know.’

But Elizabeth was already in panic mode. She knew what it was like, they’d been down that road before. Alice stepped towards Elizabeth and touched her hand lightly.

‘Until you know exactly what’s going on, don’t go down that path, the path of worry. It might not be as bad as you think it is.’

‘I hope you’re right. I hope you’re right.’ she smiled lightly.

****

‘I’m sorry Eugene, but she isn’t taking my calls either,’ said Emily.

‘God damit!’ He was really worried. ‘Sorry, that wasn’t aimed at you.’

‘I know. She’s going to need to come home eventually.’

‘I know, but for her to just go silent like that, it worries me. There are things I need to discuss with her.’

‘You will,’ said Emily. ‘The thing you’ll learn about Sahara is that you’ll have to let her be herself otherwise she’ll shut down. Whatever she’s dealing with, she’s going to try and deal with it all by herself.’

‘Well she’s obviously done that!’

‘Is there something you’re not telling me?’

‘It’s something private, but don’t worry about it. I have to talk to her about it.’

‘Okay, I understand. Let me know that she’s okay as soon as you can.’

‘Yes I will, thanks for your- ’

He heard the keys in the front door.

‘I think she’s here.’

‘Oh thank God. I’ll call later if that’s okay.’

‘Yes, okay, thanks for your help Emily.’ He hung up and remained seated in the living-room.

Sahara could feel the thick air in the house. She knew that the action she’d taken, would probably ruffle feathers, but she understood why she’d done what she’d done.

‘Honey?’ he said the moment she stepped into the living-room. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yes, I’m fine.’

He studied her a moment. She was still so beautiful and he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms, but something stopped him.

‘Is there anything you’d like to tell me?’ he asked.

‘No, why?’

He felt his body tense. This had been the first time he’d felt anger and love at the same time. He didn’t know how to react.

‘I tried calling you.’

‘I know, I just needed time to think.’

‘Think about what?’ he asked as calmly as he could.

‘Life…things.’

‘When were you going to tell me you went to the hospital?’

‘When I understood what was going on.’

‘So what’s going on?’

‘I don’t think I can discuss it right now.’

‘Why not, I’m –’

He wanted to say husband, but he knew that wasn’t true, even though he felt like her husband. She gazed at him, not sure how she wanted to proceed.

‘Perhaps you’d like to tell me why you gave away the five million pounds I gave you.’

‘So you’re checking up on me?’ she felt a tad irritated.

‘No, my accountant rang me. You can’t transfer large sums of money like that and expect it to go unnoticed. There are procedures and books to update.’

‘I’m lost. Wasn’t that money mine to do with as I please?’

‘That is correct, but I was hoping you’d use it for something nice for yourself.’

‘I did!’

‘You gave it away, you just let go of five million pounds!’ He felt himself get a little hot under the collar.

She looked at him with such anger in her eyes, he was sure she’d never want to see him again.

‘Let me tell you why I donated all that money,’ she started. ‘I donated that money to a project that wants to educate as many children as it can to read within eighteen months. The organisation will buy iPads and distribute them to children in underprivileged countries and help them learn to read. This organisation has a vision, they want to educate children who had no chance of ever knowing what the letter A looks or sounds like!’ She breathed heavily.

‘I get that, but why all that money. Honey, donations have been going to places like these for years, and there’s still no progress.’

‘Oh no, this isn’t just one of those projects. I will get to see the actual progress. These children will be educated. They will learn and they will grow.’

He sat back still not getting how this was relevant to donating all that money.

‘Alice said that I should help others that need it more than I do. But I didn’t quite get it until later today.’

‘Get what, because I sure as hell don’t get it.’

‘Somewhere in this world is tomorrow’s future, tomorrow’s doctors. Doctors who will one day find a cure to cancer. Out of the desert, one day a flower will spring. I only watered that flower. Don’t you see?’ She smiled, what she said gave her so much joy. He watched her a little amused. ‘The more we sit on money we don’t need, buying things we don’t really care about, to show off to those who aren’t bothered, the more we rob ourselves of the gifts, the diamonds that are hidden in the remote of places.’

He gazed at her intently.

‘We die because we don’t care, because it’s not our problem. What happens else where doesn’t concern us, but that’s the problem. We’re all connected. What concerns one person concerns the other. So I’m making it my problem. A cure might not come in my life time, but I’m going to make damn sure it’s going to be in the life of our unborn child. One day, out of that country no one cares about lies the answer to cancer.’ She dropped to her knees and burst into tears.

‘What? Honey.’ He was by her side. ‘Oh my God, you’re pregnant. Honey, talk to me.’

But she couldn’t. She had been overwhelmed by it all. Too much had happened, and it couldn’t be articulated in words. Finally she nodded and fell into his arms. He kept her tight in his embrace, shut his eyes and just let it all sink in.

After a moment he led her to the couch and they sat down. He searched her eyes, there were so many questions, so many things he wanted to know, but didn’t have a clue where to start.

‘I haven’t been feeling well,’ she started. ‘I’ve been having dizzy spells, so I went to see my oncologist. I thought the cancer was back, but it’s not.’

His shoulders dropped, some of the fear had disappeared.

‘He told me I was pregnant, but…’ She wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him, but she knew that it concerned him as much as it concerned her.

‘But what honey?’ he searched her eyes, the pace of his heart picked up again. ‘It’s okay, you can tell me, we’re in this together.’

‘But.’ She took a deep breath. ‘But he advised me to terminate.’

He let out a deep breath, it left him as if a blow had been administered to his stomach. He took her hand in his and gave it a little squeeze.

‘Chemo has left my body weak, the pregnancy could put too much strain on my organs.’ Tears welled up. ‘I know it was silly not to think about pregnancy, but my life had been so hectic. I didn’t even think my eggs were okay after all the chemo I received.’

‘It’s okay,’ he said lightly, afraid to ask the question that lingered in his mind.

‘I told him I won’t go through with it. I can’t. I don’t want to terminate our child.’

His question had been answered. He shut his eyes briefly and then opened them.

‘Honey, what kind of risk is that?’ He had to ask.

‘Doctor Cross can’t tell me what exactly, but he said that my body is still trying to recover from chemo. I know this is going to be hard to hear, but I’m not going through with a termination.’

‘What about your health?’

‘I’ve fought worse. Please don’t fight me, I need you by my side.’

‘I’m not fighting you, I’m terrified of loosing you.’

‘That won’t happen.’

‘You can’t guarantee that.’

‘But I’m here now, that’s a guarantee, and the minutes after, I’ll still be here. Like you said, we all don’t know what the future holds. Things could change in an instant. Why make plans for things that haven’t happened.’

He loved her way of thinking, but sometimes he felt as though she took it too far. Sahara noticed the doubt in his eyes.

‘I need your support. I know that you might not always agree with the things I do, but you met me this way. I was never going to change, no amount of money can do that.’

‘I don’t want you to change, I just want you to think about certain things. The doctor may be right.’

‘That may be so, but it’s my life, and I’m choosing to keep the baby.’

‘At the risk of hurting yourself?’

‘We don’t know that, things might turn out fine.’ She looked into his eyes. ‘Honey, I know this terrifies you, it terrifies me too, but if I terminate our child, that part of me, the one that believes in possibilities, it will die too.’

He nodded, even though he couldn’t totally agree with her. He didn’t want to loose her, but he also understood that if he didn’t support her, he would have already lost her. It wasn’t a matter of her doing as he asked. She was right, she had to do what was best for her.

‘Thank you.’ She beamed. ‘We’re going to be parents!’ She was truly happy about the baby forming inside her.

‘Yes we are.’ He pursed back his lips.

‘Please don’t be sad.’

‘I’m not. I’m happy.’ He took her into his arms, pulled back and said. ‘At least think about it.’

‘I already have. I’m going to be okay.’

‘Okay. We’re going to be parents.’ He beamed.

‘Oh my God! I can’t believe it!’ She was so happy, happier than she’d ever been. ‘I can’t wait to be a mom. I never thought it would happen.’

He watched as her eyes lit up. If that was what it took for him to see that glow in her eyes, then he’d support her all the way, even though it might be hard to watch her. He hoped that she was right, he hoped that nothing would go wrong.

Chapter Seven

News travelled faster than an uncontrolled fire. Everyone was happy and excited. Emily was over the moon that she could compare pregnancy notes with her best friend. Elizabeth, even though she didn’t show it, was a bit concerned. She knew from past research that it wasn’t advisable for Sahara to have a baby, but she also knew what a fighter Sahara was.

‘I know what you’re thinking,’ Sahara had said one afternoon, when Elizabeth had invited them over for Sunday dinner.

‘You don’t know what I’m thinking.’ She’d replied as she checked on the roast in the oven.

‘You’re thinking that I’m risking my life having this baby.’ Sahara ignored her mother’s response.

‘Honey, you’re a grown woman and this is your life.’

‘That’s true, but I know you’re dying to tell me what I’m doing is risky.’

Her mother put down the oven gloves and looked at her daughter.

‘Okay, that’s true. I’m scared, honey.’

‘Don’t be. Look at me, I’m happy and glowing. This is what I want, it makes me happy.’

‘You just don’t want to bring a child into the world with the risk of having no mother.’

‘That’s not going to happen.’

‘How can you be so sure?’

‘I’m here right now aren’t I? So let’s focus on that.’

Elizabeth nodded. They’d decided not to focus on the negative anymore; it was just as easy to focus on the positive. Sahara had learned during her illness that there was always a choice to make, that all her emotions were always her responsibility to manage. It had been her way of life.

Alice had taken the news with great joy. Her positive attitude had rubbed off on Sahara years ago.

‘I think that you can do anything,’ she’d said.

‘Thank you Alice, I knew you’d understand.’

‘Don’t judge those who don’t, it takes experience, a tragic event to get you to different levels of understanding. All I’d say is understand their fear. Understand Eugene’s fear, it’s true to him.’

‘You’re right.’

Sahara had been too busy being excited that she hadn’t really stopped to think about how it was affecting him. He had been putting on a brave front.

‘Life is exciting, and with it comes ups and downs. It’s what we do when we’re in the downs that matter. You and I understand the downs, we’ve fought cancer, and we understand that we can never control things outside ourselves. But before then, I never saw life that way.’