“Of course not, Lindsey!” He sank down on his knees in front of her and took her hands in his own. As he traced the veins on the back of her hands with his thumbs, he said, “He gives us free will, too. That is not just a benefit of being human. As an angel, I can choose one of three paths now. I could go back to my ranks, serve Him as a defender of His creation. Or I could deviate and serve the Evil One. Or…”
He hesitated. Lindsey placed her hands on either side of his face in a vain attempt to give him the power to go on. At last he looked up at her, eyes uncertain. “Or, I could decide to stay. I could choose to descend from my ranks, to become a flesh-and-blood human. I could become mortal.”
Lindsey didn’t know what to say. She knew in her heart of hearts that she was in love with him, that she wished he was human and able to love her in return. But she also knew that it was selfish to ask him to do such a thing. Give up immortality? For what? Fifty, sixty miniscule years? What then? He would die? What would happen to his soul then? Would God be angry with him? Would God be angry with her?
“I can’t ask you to do that, Eli.”
“I believe that it might be too late. As I said earlier, the two go hand-in-hand. None of my kind has ever come back from an appearance. In that very act, we merge our souls with the human to which we appeared.”
“I don’t know what to say,” she uttered.
“There is nothing
to
say. It is my job to protect His most precious creation – humankind. You could say that I quite literally worship the ground upon which you walk. I worship the very essence that is you because you are from Him, made in His likeness. No other man could ever, ever say that to you and mean it.”
“But how do I know that you aren’t an evil agent sent here to devour my soul if this, this spirit haunting me doesn’t succeed?” Lindsey asked, although she knew that there was nothing evil about him.
“Simple. An evil entity would not give up everything to protect you. It would not give up his power just to be with you. I would.”
Her heart fluttered. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head and then touched his cheek. She knew that there was something that had tied them together. It was more than youthful fancy, more than a whim. It was real. She was overcome with the idea that he was here only for her. That he had seen women come and go for thousands of years, but he made himself appear to her, become a part of her life. Despite that elation, she was suddenly overcome with grief. Did she want to be the reason he gave up his place in this world? Would she be responsible for his soul if he should descend?
Eli stood and walked toward the door, his angst returned full-force. She wanted, needed to keep him talking.
“What about Darby? Darby covered for you. How does she fit into all of this?”
“Don’t worry Darby is, and always has been, human. Her deceased husband, Abrahm, was one of my brothers. He appeared to her after he saved her from a rapist back in the 1950’s. He happened to be stalking an entity in the same alley that her attacker had chosen as the spot for his crime. The feeling was instant. I never, until the day I met you, understand how he felt. When I was sent
here
, when I saw
you
, when I felt
it
… I went to my commander and he sent me to see Darby. I explained to her what was going on and that I needed an alibi to get into the house. ‘
For further investigation
,’ I told her. She knew instantly, but I denied that it had anything to do with you. But I can’t deny it anymore.”
There was a very pregnant pause, filled with emotion and tension.
“But first things first,” he stood, took a deep breath, and walked out of the room.
Lindsey ran after him, “Wait! Eli! Please … what did I do wrong with the board? Are you mad at me?”
He turned and grabbed her hands in his, pulling them against his chest. She could feel the warmth of his touch and the vibration of his angelic aura that hummed around him as he tried to calm himself.
“How to explain … ah, yes,” he said.
“Pretend that you are in one of those boats those, oh what do you humans call them, those boats that go underwater.”
“Submarines?” Lindsey answered, still utterly confused.
“Yes, submarine. Pretend that you are in one and you are going underwater. And, for some reason, you decide to open the hatch. What do you think would happen?”
“Water would come pouring in. But what does that have to do with –” she began, her impatience growing.
“Yes, water would come in. But, with enough force, and possibly some help, you could close the hatch before causing too much damage, right?”
“I guess, but –”
“But what if you not only opened the hatch, but somehow managed to blow it from its hinges in the process?”
“The submarine would sink. We would all drown.”
“Exactly,” Eli said, dropping her hands as if he’d made his point.
Lindsey was still confused and overly impatient. “What in the heck does this have to do with this psycho ghost following me around, Eli?”
“Don’t you see, Lindsey? You not only opened the vortex, you destroyed the doorway! When you burned the spirit board, you burned the portal door, too! When I arrived here, that vortex was wide open. Spirits – good and bad – could have poured through at will There are guards stationed outside it now to prevent that from happening, but I've got to find an alternative way to ultimately close the gaping hole, banish the spirit of Milton Walker, and protect you at the same time.”
Eli went downstairs and headed to the backdoor, taking his shirt off in the process. Before he turned the doorknob, he turned and motioned for Lindsey to follow him.
“I want you to come outside with me. I don’t want you in this place without protection.” When Lindsey began to protest he added, “Yes, Milton has been quiet. Too quiet it you ask me. He’s biding his time until my guard is down and I leave you alone.”
They left the house, ran off of the back porch, and across the moss-covered ground to the tree line in silence. Eli let go of her hand and stepped into the misty shade of the Oak trees. Lindsey gasped in wonder as his body began to softly glow with a radiant white light and two huge wings sprouted from between his shoulder blades. He turned and handed her a long golden sword he’d just drawn from his belt.
“I want you to hold on to that. And stay right here. If you feel any presence around you, swing this sword toward it to ward it off. I will be right back.”
“How can a sword harm a ghost, Eli? I might as well spray some bug spray on it, too.”
“Trust me. This isn’t your average sword. This was forged in the magnificent fiery presence that is Him. It can painfully harm a spirit just as easily as it can slice through human flesh.” Eli then took her hand, held it to his lips, and closed his eyes. Then he was gone in a burst of white mist.
Lindsey stood by the trees, sword in one hand, the other lifted into thin air. When she realized that he was gone, she dropped her hand to her side and turned to face the house. His reaction had made her more fearful not only of her home, but of her every surrounding. This man, this …
thing
wasn’t just tormenting her home, it tormenting her as well.
“It’s not my fault!” she yelled at the innocuous backside of Retreat House. “I didn’t want to screw with the damned board to begin with!”
To calm herself, she thought of Eli. Her heart sank. She couldn’t be responsible for his downfall. No matter what she had to endure, she had to make sure he didn’t leave behind immortality for her. As she waited on him to return, she steeled her resolve. She had to nip whatever this was in the bud.
Twenty One
Before Eli had taken his true form, several of the others advanced on him.
“You want us to participate with a group of witches?”
“You are going to leave our ranks for a human? You are going to give up your role as protector and defender, as an immortal creation for the likes of a simple human girl?”
“How could you do this to us, Elion? You should have sealed the portal and banished the spirits immediately, not hung around to socialize while it gained power!”
“You told her about us, didn’t you? You exposed a forbidden secret, Elion!”
Eli understood their anger. He had been angry, too, each time he’d been in their position and had to watched as a brother descended for a human. Madness, craziness! Yet, here he was, walking in those very shoes; ready to trade in his Harbinger’s sword for fifty or so measly human years. Then he would die and have to start all over in his angelic training.
“Harbingers!” Uriel raised his voice above the melee. “Do not be divided now. If Elion makes that choice and the Almighty allows it, who are we to judge? He created love and gave us all free will, who are we to question Elion’s choice? Right now, however, we must unite our ranks to force the one unwilling spirit through the portal and then we must seal it for good. I trust everyone here is ready for the challenge?”
The twenty Harbingers that stood in front of Uriel, were immediately silenced by his words.
“Brothers, I beseech you to help me. I have not made any decision to descend. Have I considered it? Absolutely? I wish I could describe how she makes me feel. I am … whole when I am with her. I have feelings and thoughts that I have never, ever had. Have I made a final decision, though? No. I admit that I do feel torn, but I am not a lost cause yet, so please don’t act as if I am. And don’t take your anger out on her. We are here to
protect
her. That is our job – to protect His most precious creation. Please, help me push this spirit over. It is too powerful for me alone. I cannot do this without you.”
“These women, these concubines to Lucifer!”
“They are no such thing and you know it. These women are seers, able to channel the spirit and corral it to where we need it to be. You are trying to find a reason to be angry. Be angry at me if you have to, but do not take this out on innocent parties. I have not made a decision to leave you, so please don’t act like I have. Right now we need to be united as one if we are to triumph and seal this rip.”
Uriel took Eli’s hand in both of his, “You have our unwavering support, Elion. Now hurry back, we know that you are anxious, having left Lindsey alone at the house. We will be there tonight. We will be there to help you until the threat is over. After that, you are to report back to your ranks until given permission to do otherwise. God speed.”
Eli nodded, looked at his fellow Harbingers, half of which were looking at him angrily, and returned to his human form in a burst of white mist.
Twenty Two
Ready to stand by her decision to shut Eli out, Lindsey opted to sleep in her mother’s bedroom instead of the living room where she’d been sleeping. She made an excuse to go into town earlier in the evening so she could get away from Eli and think clearly. She drove down to the Great Swamp Sanctuary and sat on a bench at the opening to the park until the sun began to sink down in the western sky and the mosquitos began feast on her exposed skin. She ate dinner alone at a Mexican restaurant.
When she couldn’t linger anymore, she made her way back to Retreat House, said hello to Eli, and went straight upstairs. She heard him in the hall a couple of times, but didn’t make a move to go to the door.
As she lay in the bed, staring at the moon-lit ceiling, she was hyper-aware that Eli was standing sentinel in the room below her. It was as if she could feel the heat from his body – feel the vibration of his beating heart – rising up through the floor. She longed to jump out of bed, run downstairs, and jump into his arms. But she couldn’t. It could never, ever be.
Yes, we have to nip this in the bud
.
She turned over on her stomach and buried her face in the pillow. She let out a low moan of frustration and banged her fists against the mattress. How could this happen? How could she fall for a man that she couldn’t be with? Once this ordeal was over tomorrow, he would be gone. He
had
to be gone. Back to his post, back to being a protector of mankind. She could never see him again.