Harbour of Refuge (28 page)

“Nothing. I need to go.”

He truly didn’t want to, but he shoved his own desire back and opened the door for her. It was obvious she didn’t want to cry in front of him and while he might be a bastard, he wasn’t that much of one. As she hurried across the hall, he called out to her, “We’ll be by to get you for dinner in about fifteen minutes.”

She didn’t respond, just walked into her room and shut the door. The click sounded so final.

“Great job, Enzo,” he muttered to himself as he allowed his door to close. He wanted to know what had happened last night. As far as he knew, everyone had been nice to her.
Probably were while you were with her, but you left her alone to fend for herself. You know damn well it’s a nest of vipers when the women want a driver.

He’d been so swept up in his old life, it didn’t matter to him. Only the drinking and having fun. Not that he was looking for another woman, that wasn’t it, he just wanted to pretend there were no responsibilities for a while.

Swearing to himself, he ran a hand over his face. When he looked up, Liev stood there watching him. “Let me go put some shoes on and we’ll go get Halyn.”

Those brown eyes were unblinking. Enzo tried for a smile but failed. Once his shoes were on, he returned to the main part of the suite. Liev sat on a chair, reading, ignoring whatever show played on the large, flat-screen television.

They didn’t speak as they went and knocked on Halyn’s door. She opened it with a small smile. One that still didn’t reach her eyes.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Sure.” Hell, even her voice sounded a bit subdued.

“Thoughts on where to go?”

“Wherever you two want is fine with me,” Halyn said, walking on the other side of Liev, keeping the boy between them.

In the elevator, he backed her in the corner. “We’re not done with that conversation, Halyn.”

She ignored him, staring at the door. Two others climbed in behind them so he draped an arm around her shoulder and brushed a kiss along her cheek. When they reached the first floor, he took her hand and they walked after Liev.

They found a place along the beach and sat out in the cool evening air. He watched the woman across from him, her natural curls moving in the breeze and a sad, faraway look in her stunning eyes.

Liev ate heartily but Halyn barely touched her food. Enzo watched her push it around on her plate. He could see her putting up blocks around her heart.

“You not hungry?” he asked, drawing her attention from his son where it had settled through the meal.

“Not so much, no.”

“Perhaps just leaving room for dessert? I see they have a nice selection.”

Her smile was strained and his heart cracked. She didn’t eat any dessert either, and as they walked back to the hotel he could feel her pulling from him with each step they took.

He got Liev ready for bed and as he tucked him in, sank down on his knees. “I need to talk to Halyn, so I’ll be across the hall if you need me.”

“She’s sad.”

Of course Liev had picked up on that. He nodded. “She is, and I need to see what I can do to help. Will you be okay?”

Liev snuggled into his pillow. “I like her.”

“Me too, Liev.” He brushed a kiss over his forehead and left the room, leaving the door propped open to allow a shaft of light entrance.

Ensuring he had his key, he slipped from his room, crossed the hall and knocked.

Halyn hesitated before the door and drew a stabilising breath. She had known it was coming ever since she had got back from the museum with Liev. In that moment, however, she felt exposed. Vulnerable.

Dampening her lips with a swipe of her tongue, she pulled the door open and saw Enzo standing there. His jeans rode low and his shirt stretched tight over his muscled chest. He wore his ball cap, backwards, and his hands were shoved in his pockets.

“May I come in?”

Wordlessly she stepped back and he moved past her. His scent wound around her, prising open the few cracks she’d left unfortified in the walls surrounding her heart.

“About earlier—”

“Let it go, Enzo.” She walked to the couch and curled up at one end. He didn’t sit next to her, instead sitting before her on the coffee table.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I need to know what happened.”

“What happened? There’s nothing to tell.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Halyn. We both know damn well something happened.”

He was getting angry, she could see it. Didn’t mean she wanted to talk about it. “Too bad. I don’t have to say anything. I’m sure you can ask around and someone would tell you.”

“Did someone hurt you?”

The compassion in his voice was nearly her undoing. She fought back the tears. She wouldn’t cry in front of him.

“No.” Okay, so that was a big whopper of a lie.

“Halyn.” He took her hands in his, moving his rough palms along her skin, setting it aflame. “Talk to me.”

“Why? Let’s talk about why you yelled this afternoon, instead.”

He hesitated but nodded. “You want to do that first, fine.”

Did she? Hell no, but anything to keep the tears away.

“I didn’t realise my inbox was full. All I knew was I couldn’t get in touch with you and it freaked me out.”

“We told you where we were going. But you wanted to drink last night. So much that you had a hangover so you couldn’t remember it this morning.” She couldn’t even hide the contempt in her voice.

“So what, I’m not allowed to drink at a party? It was New Year’s Eve.”

Yeah, she knew that. “I’m not your keeper, Enzo. You want to drink every night like that, go ahead. Just don’t be pissy with others when you’re the one who can’t remember shit.”

He dropped her hands and raked his through his hair, knocking off his cap in the process. “Fine. I admit that was wrong of me. And I apologise. Now will you tell me what happened that’s made you like this?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Like this? Like how am I?”

“Sad. Moody. Not the Halyn who arrived here with me, that’s for damn sure.”

“I just got tired of people criticising me.”

His fingers gripped her chin. “Who said something about you?” A complete change came over him, adding to his dangerous air.

“I told you, the women who want you. Nothing about me is right, from my natural hair, to the dress I wore and everything in between. My job, you name it. I’m all wrong for you.” Her voice broke slightly on that last sentence.

“Fuck.” He sat beside her, lifting her onto his lap. “Baby, there was nothing wrong with how you looked last night. You were beautiful.” He cradled her face with his hands. “You
are
beautiful.”

She struggled. “I don’t want compliments from you, Enzo. That’s not why I told you.”

“Then what do you want?”

She climbed off his lap. He didn’t understand. “I want to go home. Okay, that’s what I want. I don’t belong here in your world.”

“You want me to leave?”

She heard the uncertainty in his voice and it told her more than he ever could. He wasn’t ready to give up this lifestyle. Shaking her head, she crossed her arms to try to ward off the chill bearing down on her.

“No. You should stay. This is the start of a new year of racing for you.
I
want to go.” Want? Hell, need was more like it.

“We have the rooms for another week.” He leant back against the sofa and watched her carefully.

“I’ll reimburse you for mine. I… I feel like you want me here as a babysitter for Liev.”

He frowned. “How can you say that?”

“We’ve been here for four days. Short of the time the babysitter watched him for the party, I’ve been watching him so you could do endorsements, meetings and whatever else. Not you.”

“I thought you liked my son.”

“I do. But I told you before, I wasn’t going to be his babysitter.” She began pacing. “I think it best I leave. You have people to watch him here. I’m not needed.”

He got to his feet. “What if I said I needed you? Would you stay then?”

Her heart thudded a bit harder. “Do you? Need me?” Staring into his gorgeous brown eyes, she saw his reluctance to say anything of the sort to her. She smiled sadly, then walked up and pressed her hand against his chest. “Don’t worry about it, Enzo. I get it.”

“Halyn,” he said, reaching for her.

“I’m sorry, Enzo. I really want to get some sleep. I’ll see you and Liev in the morning.” Ignoring the tears that dangled over the edge, she opened the door and waited for him to leave.

“We’ve not discussed this all the way,” he protested.

“Later then. I’m getting a headache. Please.” She gestured at the door.

He rose and walked by her, pausing to kiss her. She gave him a barely-there smile when he stepped into the hall, then shut the door in his face as the first warm, salty tear fell.

Her night was difficult and when morning came, exhaustion owned her. She packed her bags and had them on the inside of her door when she met Liev and Enzo for breakfast.

“You okay, Halyn?” He dipped his head for a kiss and touched a knuckle to her cheek. “Did you sleep?”

“Rough night,” she said.

She held her peace at breakfast and when Enzo walked off to get a coffee refill she looked at Liev. “I’m heading home today, Liev. I’ll see you when you get back. I hope you have fun with your papa.”

“Are you not having fun here?”

She forced the smile. “I’m having fun with you, but I have to return to work.”
Way to go, Halyn, lie to the kid.

“I understand.”

She had the oddest feeling he truly did.

Enzo returned and sat. “So, how about a trip to the space museum?” At his question, Liev’s eyes lit up. “I’ll take that as a yes. Halyn, you in?”

“No, thank you.” She stood. “I hope you two have a blast.” On autopilot, she kissed both of their cheeks, then walked back to her room. She had a few hours until she had to check out, so she pulled out her latest mystery book.

Not much later, Enzo stopped by on their way out to ask her once more if she’d like to join them. Again, she declined and closed the door on him. After finishing her chapter, she decided to check out, and took a taxi to the train station. She’d booked herself a ride on the rails—trains had always relaxed her.

The closer she got to Oregon the calmer she felt. Mila would be waiting to pick her up, so she had nothing to worry about. Closing her eyes, she fell into a deep sleep.

When she approached her stop, she gathered her luggage in hand then disembarked from the train. She scanned the people at the station—it didn’t take her long to find Mila.

“Halyn!”

Seconds later she was in a tight hug.

“Hey, Mila.”

She pulled back. “Are you okay?”

“Not now, Mila, okay?”

“You got it. Let’s get going. I have some food in the crock pot for you to eat.”

Her stomach grumbled on cue. “Awesome. I didn’t eat much on the train.”

On the ride home, she began to tell Mila what had happened.

“And you didn’t beat the shit out of that bitch for what she said?” Mila asked, aghast.

“You know I’m not one for confrontations, Mila. I don’t have it in me.”

“Bullshit. You don’t think you should. You definitely have it in you. Hello, you threatened a newspaper and a reporter on two separate occasions.”

“That was different.”

Mila snorted and with a flick of the wheel wove her vehicle around the car before her. “Not really. You’ll stand up for other people, but not yourself.” Shifting, she sped up. “I never understood why. That bitch should have been busted and bleeding. Your dress is timeless and I’m jealous of your hair. You better not ever relax it. Where was he when this was going down?”

“I don’t know. Off playing pool, or something like that.”

“Damn.”

“He acts like it is his right to party and it is, but I felt like a babysitter. Here I am sitting with his son while he’s out there filming commercials with skimpily dressed women to sell products.”

“You’re jealous.”

She scowled at her friend, but couldn’t find it in her to deny the truth. What she’d felt had been jealousy. Pure, raw and extremely undesirable. She didn’t want to be that way.

Mila gave her a sympathetic smile. “Honey, everyone gets jealous at some point. Stop looking like it’s the end of the world.”

“Not me. I’ve known this wasn’t anything more than a temporary thing.”

“Really?”

“Don’t give me that look. Keep your eyes on the road.”

Mila arched an eyebrow. “Someone needs to. I know exactly what you’re doing.”

“I told him I couldn’t have kids, Mila.”

That shut Mila’s mouth quicker than a frog ate a bug. Mila glanced at her until she pointed at the road.

“Watch, watch,
watch
where we’re going!”

“When did you tell him this?” she asked, zipping in and out of traffic like the other cars stood still.

“It came up a while ago.”

Damn it, that got her looking away from the road again. “It came up? Just what, in casual conversation? You went from plants to the state of your uterus?”

Mila’s comment had her laughing at its absurdity. “No, don’t be crazy, Mila. I don’t remember exactly. But I felt him drawing away then.”

“You are so full of shit.”

“What?”

“Don’t you ‘what’ me, miss missy. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You know damn well you remember when it happened, hell, you probably know what you had for dinner that day. This isn’t a casual mention of a movie you may have passably liked. This is about children, which denotes the potential for a future. One with him. So cut the crap.”

She blew out a breath, sinking lower in the seat. Why did she have to have a friend who knew her so well?

“Fine. I remember. He was shocked then tried to make up for it…I guess. I just— He’s a player, Mila. We’re having fun, that’s all, but me being his babysitter is not fun. That’s not what I signed up for.”

“And you told him this?”

“I mentioned I wanted to go home, yes. If he realises that’s what I’ve done, I couldn’t say.”

“You have to quit running from him every time something may not go the way you want it to.”