Hard: A Military Stepbrother Romance (20 page)

She lapsed
into silence for a few moments, and I couldn’t help wanting to know more.
Wanting to understand.

“How
do you deal with it?”

She
smiled briefly, reaching out to touch my hand and giving me some small
reassurance.

“Lots
of ways - I’ve got my own life and family I love, and we’re always busy. There
are tons of support groups - I help out with a few actually - and they make a
big difference, just to be able to quietly share the latest irritation or
annoyance with people who get it. And of course, the guys come by and deal with
all the little emergencies that would be a nightmare without Ryan around. I
mean, I can fix a broken toilet as well as any man - but with three screaming
kids? Sometimes I don’t have hours to work out all the shit that goes wrong.”

I
smiled and glanced around again towards Seth, appreciating her honesty and
feeling a little bit better.

“The
other thing is, since I’ve known him - I’ve met everyone else. All the other
servicemen and their families and support structures. I might wish he wasn’t
gone so often, but at the same time…it’s brought me my closest friends, and
such a strong extended family that I wonder how I ever imagined living without
that. They tend to come together, these guys - and I wouldn’t give any of them
up for the world. It’s not something I can easily explain - hard to really
understand unless you’re part of it - but we’re all a family for each other.”

I
nodded, feeling like I could see what she was saying. I’d seen it in the way
Seth acted and talked about the Navy guys he served with, about how he was
while he was here - it was a way I’d never seen him before.

I
suddenly understood just how important this was to him, and why he hadn’t
wanted to share it with me if I wasn’t going to stick around. This was
something special. Cora might be his mother, but seeing him like this, I got
the impression this really was the family he’d built himself.

The
intensity left the conversation after that, and I figured Becky was backing off
to give me some time to think on it and absorb what she’d said. The woman
seemed to have observation and awareness skills almost equal to the Navy SEALs
I’d already met. It was good she’d mentioned it, too - it wouldn’t be right for
me to plunge headfirst into what was growing between Seth and I without seeing
what this life actually meant.

We
had a lovely afternoon chatting and learning each others’ lives, and she told
me about all the work she used to do as a major events manager - impressing me
with stories about the insane ways she’d filled ‘unique’ requests, and making
me feel like we’d missed a trick not hiring her for my parents wedding. She
said she still dabbled in it now, and it worked well as it was flexible and
largely geography independent, but most of her focus these days was on her children
and those skills came out more often for charity.

It
didn’t quite shaken the unease or the questions about myself that she’d
prompted, but it gave me some distraction for her information to settle.

I
wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to deal with it. But as I watched Seth
playing and joking with the kids, saw the way his eyes sought and met mine
every so often, my heart felt like it was expanding moment by moment, swelling
with the depths of everything I felt for him.

I
might not know the answer, but I wanted to find out. I wanted to try.

It
was simply that I couldn’t picture letting him go.

Chapter Nineteen

Seth

“So?”

I
had Bella pressed up against my truck, my hands lingering on her hips as my
mouth nuzzled against hers. I’d been longing to do just that all day, and now
that I had us away from Becky and the kids, I wanted to do all sorts of wicked,
inappropriate things. Spending a whole day around her
without
having sex
had been a cruel and unusual occurrence, as far as I was concerned.

“So
what?”

She
was a little breathless against me and I smiled.

“I
was going to ask what you thought. But I see I wasn’t the only one thinking of
other things.”

My
thigh nudged her legs apart and she pressed against it instinctively, moaning
as my hands covered her gorgeous tits, thumbs teasing her already hard nipples
through the light bra she wore. Her eyes darted around with a slight alarm, but
there was no one around. Didn’t stop her cheeks from heating.

“You
expected me to watch you working hard, all muscle and sweat, for the whole day
without
thinking of those things?”

My
laugh had a pleasant hum to it and I took the kiss I’d been teasing at,
pressing her whole body back against the truck and making her feel every inch
of those hard muscles she loved so much. Her arms came around me, settling
against the waistband of the thick work jeans, fingers trailing to my ass. I
clenched it under her and she moaned again, shaking her head.

“If
you don’t stop now…we’re not stopping.”

Well,
there
was an invitation worth obliging.

But
we were in the middle of the street.

And
if we had public sex right outside her house, Becky might try to skin me alive.
For all I knew, her kids were on their way out yelling with scooters and bikes
and things.

That
was
an image that calmed me down a little.

“I
can’t tell which of those you’re actually asking for, baby.”

But
I shifted away, letting her down to catch her breath and withdrawing with a
last deep kiss. Her eyes were still a little glazed as I went around to the
driver’s side of the truck, and she shook her head as she got in. It was always
nice to see the effect I had, and I grinned as I started the engine and started
maneuvering us out of the tight space.

“So
you never answered that question.”

“Which
one?”

Her
voice was idle as she looked over at me, one hand settling on my thigh and her
fingers drifting towards something that was
very
eager to meet her. I
shifted in the seat and shook my head. Damned girl had taken too many tips from
me.

“What
you thought of today.”

“I
don’t think you ever actually asked it…”

Her
voice was amused, but her gaze shifted to look out of the window as she
considered the answer. That didn’t surprise me - I had a good idea what they’d
talked about. I hadn’t
quite
expected Becky to bring it up the first
time she met Bella but…she’d had this conversation several times before, and
she knew how to pick her timing. And it wasn’t like things between Bella and I
weren’t intense as hell - she ought to know what she was getting into before we
took this too far. Especially with the wedding imminent.

It
was the sort of thing that was obvious, that required no explanation…but until
you saw it, you couldn’t
get it.
I was in the military, and not even any
branch, the SEALs - we leave for months or years at a time, we fight things we
can never talk about and we risk our lives almost every day we’re out there.
Waiting at home for that…it wasn’t a fate I’d wish on anyone. It wasn’t
something you could expect anyone to do for you.

Even
if you really wanted them to.

My
heart clenched hard in my chest as I wondered how Bella had taken it. Her gaze
shifted back to me, with a seriousness that meant she’d understood the
importance.

“You
were right - Becky’s a great woman and I liked her a lot.”

I
didn’t push for more, happy to sit in silence while she thought. I didn’t
expect her to have any answers - I wasn’t even sure she could.

“About
the rest of it…I need to think about it, Seth. I didn’t quite realize…but then
you knew that, right?”

Her
head was tilted and I nodded, trying to lighten my touch on the steering wheel.

“Yeah.
Even if I’d told you all the details, until you see it for yourself…it’s not
the same. It’s alright, you know. I don’t - I know the chances.”

I
shrugged. It was something that had been eating at me recently, but it was part
of my life and I could deal with it. I’d come to terms with it when I joined
the SEALs, and however difficult it made this, it was as much a part of who I
was now as anything else.

Her
hand brushed against mine, but I didn’t turn to meet her eyes.

“Just
let me think, okay?”

I
nodded and didn’t say anymore, letting the silence hold for a little bit until
she started talking about Becky again. The casual conversation made the thick
air easier, and I tried to turn my mind away from all the questions that didn’t
have answers yet. This was why I hadn’t wanted to show her - hadn’t wanted to
get involved.

It
wasn’t just our parents - hell, the only reason I cared about that was because
it would hurt her to defy her father.

It
was who I was. What being with me meant.

I
never thought I’d ask someone to deal with that. And now that I had, it was
damn hard to sit and wait, when I’d finally acknowledged just how much this
meant to me.

“It’s
inspiring, you know - some of the things she’s done. She’s got that way about
her, don’t you think? The kind of woman who could conquer the world if she
could put her mind to it.”

I
smiled a little at her, lingering on the way her own emerald eyes sparkled with
enthusiasm and passion, the way the strength of her spirit made it impossible
to think her small, even with that gorgeous petite form. The consideration and
compassion she gave anything and everything.

“She’s
got that, no doubt about it. But I think you’ve more of a way about you.”

Her
startled expression made me laugh.

“Babe,
if it wasn’t sad, it would be sweet. You really have no clue, do you?”

“What
are you talking about?”

“You.
You’re the most passionate, intelligent woman I’ve ever met. Fiery and
indomitable too - no one’s ever fought toe-to-toe with me the way you have. If
you wanted to conquer the world, I’d pity the SEAL team sent to stop you. And
you don’t even realize.”

She
gaped at me, and I shook my head. It was impossible. I gave her a gentle push,
and then let my hand wander down her side, stroking her thigh for a moment.

“You
really need to get over yourself and stop holding that potential back, babe.”

She
just sat there in silence for a few moments, looking at me and I wished I could
do something to ease the disbelief on her face.

It
was some fucking joke the universe liked playing that a woman like her was so
unaware of the effect she had on everything and everyone.

“You
really mean that? All that stuff you just said?”

She
looked at me with just a little bit of suspicion and I gave her my most
arrogant smile.

“Babe,
if it wasn’t true, you wouldn’t deserve me.”

*  *  *

By
the time we got back to the house, that conversation and the day of teasing and
tempting each other were too much to be contained. We barely avoided our
parents seeing us dragging each other up the stairs, and I don’t think I’ve
ever balcony-hopped quite that quickly.

Then
we were all over each other again, trying to hush each other as we laughed and
moaned and tore at each others’ clothes. We ended up on the bed in a half-naked
heap, kissing and writhing together as our bodies and tongues twined together.
Once we finally had that, we slowed down a little, letting the kisses and
touches develop as the urgency became something sweeter. She was looking at me
with a wonder that made this feel more special than the quick relief we’d been
going for.

I
pushed her down against the bed, holding myself on top of her as I kept her
there with my body and let my mouth and tongue take over teasing her. I took my
slow, gentle time until she was moaning under me, my warm breath stroking her
bare skin before my mouth and tongue tasted every part of her.

“Seth…”

Her
voice had that longing tone to it that always made me hard as a rock, the
evidence of her pure desire and need enough to have me ready to fulfill it at
any moment. My large hands cupped her tits, playing and stroking as my mouth
devoured hers, her hips pressing up into the thick muscle of my thigh as she
clearly wanted more. I grinned and nibbled at one of her soft, full lips.

“Not
yet, baby. I want you ready for me.”

“I
am
ready, damn you.”

The
heat in her tone only had me laughing, my blood pumping hard within me as I
continued playing, teasing all across that wonderful body of hers. My mouth
moved lower, nuzzling and sucking and nibbling at her breasts, following the
path my hands had taken until I got to her warm, waiting entrance. My hands
spread her legs and held her hard as they would have spasmed against me while I
breathed gently over her core, inhaling the heady scent of her feminine musk.

God
damn, but this never got old.

I
took my time, working my tongue slowly as I explored her those sweet, soft
folds while she moaned and clutched hard at the covers. My tongue alternated
between those gentle strokes and a couple of firm flicks against her clit, her
body flushing with desire and need as I started the heat building in her
stomach. My slow, teasing pace increased after a few minutes, my tongue
slipping between those sensitive lips and stroking firmly within her waiting
pussy. She shuddered under me and I fought back a grin as I continued, every
stroke taking her closer to that edge where she’d let go of everything but me.
The way I felt inside her. The things I was doing to her.

As
her breathing grew labored and her body was writhing even under my firm grip, I
narrowed my focus and started fucking her with my tongue in truth. There was
nothing teasing now as I circled her clit, playing with the sensitive bud as
she struggled not to cry out too loudly. The intensity was roaring through her,
and as I sensed her on the edge, I flicked my tongue hard against her clit and
pushed a couple of fingers inside her, feeling her pussy shudder then clench
around me as she moaned continuously with the uncontrollable climax.

I
stayed with her, riding the aftershocks as I sent her up again and again,
making her breathless and weak by the time I finally shifted myself back on top
of her. The look in her eyes was wild and needy as she saw me, coming up
immediately for a kiss and letting me share that sweet taste with her. I
groaned against her, holding her tightly to me as her body still shifted under
me, the strength of her climax just making me hotter and harder.

“Okay
baby,
now
you’re ready for me.”

Her
eyes widened as she looked up at me, and I grinned, knowing just how sensitive
she must be and wanting to share it, wanting to drive her crazy until she was
screaming under me as I took her again. She whimpered a little into my mouth as
I settled myself into place, looking into her eyes with a burning need of my
own.

“Ohh,
Seth…”

But
her voice was full of a desire that matched my own, no matter that she’d just
come. She wanted this. She wanted me.

And
there was no way I was ever going to hold that back from her.

She
was crying out lightly and trying to keep quiet from the first time I entered
her.

My
cock slid in as easily as it always had, with her pussy already shivering and
shuddering around it. The way that felt was simply divine, and I was done with
teasing - either her or myself. My hips were already moving, thrusting hard
inside her and feeling that delicious tightness around me as she clamped down,
wanting to feel more, to take more. I was breathing hard now, my own need
coiling up in my balls and oh-so-ready to explode within her.

But
I wanted more. I wanted her to be right there with me. So I slowed and worked
her back up to it, teasing her mouth and neck and tits again as my relentless
cock filled her and gave her everything she was looking for.

The
way she moaned my name was just perfect, and I could tell instantly when her
breathing changed, when it was obvious she was starting to ramp up that
uncontrollable desire again. My arms clutched her tight to me as she explored
my chest, my shoulders, my back, running her hands over my muscles with the same
awe she always had.

They’d
always been good for attracting chicks, but I’d only been truly grateful for
the depth of military training after meeting Bella.