Hard Core (Onyx Group) (20 page)

“Don’t be. Someone found out what they were doing and the
kids were shipped to new homes. My old man somehow convinced the state to give
me back. They were overloaded, so it probably didn’t take much to convince
them. I went back, but left soon after. Haven’t talked to him since.”

“That’s when you started traveling?”

“Yes. I lived day to day, took odd jobs to survive, and
ended up in France. I liked it there. It felt comfortable. The Legion became my
family. I met Mariette at a corner cafe while on leave in Nice. We connected.
Every leave I took was to see her. I became Cary Sayer, with my past firmly
behind me. I reinvented myself with the Legion and Mariette. And for awhile it
was enough.”

“She began to want more,” Alana guessed.

“Yes. She started asking questions, probing into my past.
Wanting to know me. I evaded and she let it go. But it hung between us and I
knew she needed more. I couldn’t give it to her. Until I went overseas and
almost died in an ambush. I decided that day, I didn’t want to die alone with
my secrets. I was going to tell her everything about me on my next leave.”

“What happened?”

“I returned to discover Mariette had been hit by a car on
her way back from the market. It was our one-year anniversary. She had a
special dinner planned. Had all the groceries when it happened. The guy fell
asleep at the wheel. They told me she died instantly.”

Something wet landed on his chest. He reached down and
lifted Alana’s chin to see tears glistening in her eyes. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m crying because you won’t.”

He frowned. “What?”

“That is a tragic tale, Cristian. You lost the woman who
mattered most to you. You loved her enough to tell her your secrets. It’s sad.”

“I didn’t love her. I wasn’t supposed to tell her
everything.”

“You think her death was a lesson to you? To stop you from
revealing who you are to the next woman?”

“It worked that way for a reason.”

“Yes, but not as a lesson to you.” She rose up on an elbow
to stare down at him. “You told me your real name.”

“Under the influence.”

“I don’t believe that. You wanted me to know. Just like you
wanted me to know about Mariette. So you could warn me off.”

He cocked a brow. “Warn you off?”

“From getting too close. Falling for you.”

Feeling closed in, Slade distanced himself emotionally. He
wanted no part of this conversation. He wasn’t a touchy-feely kind of guy and
talking about feelings made him damn uncomfortable.

“See, you’re doing it again.”

“Go to sleep.”

With a long-suffering sigh, she lay down beside him. “You
can’t close yourself off to the world. It isn’t healthy.”

“Goodnight, Doc.”

“Goodnight, Cristian.”

Long after Alana had fallen asleep, Slade lay awake staring
into the darkness. After Mariette, he had put a wall between him and any chance
of a relationship. Left the Legion, rolled around for a while, and found Onyx
Group. The fit had been perfect. He could use his sniper skill and training to
provide a lifestyle he wanted. It suited him. He was damaged goods. No woman
deserved that. Not Mariette, and not Alana.

Maybe he had told Alana about Mariette to warn her off. Or
maybe he’d wanted to tell someone the secrets he kept buried.

Or maybe he was a damn fool wrapped up in the best sex of
his life with a woman who turned him inside out.

Whatever it was, he had to put an end to it. Didn’t know how
the hell he was going to do it. Because he didn’t want to leave her side.

“Fool,” Slade muttered into the dark and closed his eyes,
shutting out his thoughts.

Better to not go places he didn’t belong.

* * * *

Alana sipped her coffee, avoiding Mercer’s eyes as she
waited for Cristian. He was taking her shopping for clothes this morning.
Risky, but necessary.

“So, how’d you break the glass?” Mercer helped himself to a
croissant off the plate sitting between them.

Although she had cleaned the broken glass up, she still
hadn’t been up before Mercer. He’d been making coffee when she emerged from the
bedroom while Cristian was still in the shower.

Not sure how to answer, she grabbed a croissant and tore it
open. Mercer handed her the butter knife he just finished using.

“You’re good for each other.” He slid the gourmet strawberry
jam across the table to her.

Alana’s head snapped up. “What do you mean?”

Nonchalant. “You and Slade. Come on, Doc. What’s going on
between you two?”

Heat crept up her neck and she busied herself smothering her
croissant with jam. “You’re seeing things,” she muttered.

“So I’m told. Hey, I’m all for it. Slade needs someone to
humanize him. Maybe he’ll take some much-needed time off.”

“Why? Does he work too much?”

Mercer bit into his pastry. “More than what is deemed
healthy.”

“You worry about him.” She stared at Mercer in wonder.
Cristian was blessed with good friends and he didn’t know it. The man was just
too stubborn for his own good.

Mercer bristled, shifting in his seat. “Men don’t worry.”

She hid a smile. “I won’t tell him.”

“Tell me what?” Cristian strode into the room, looking sexy
in dark slacks and a cream-colored sweater that hugged his muscular frame. His
hair was damp from his shower, his jaw clean-shaven. He looked dark and sinfully
delicious.

She looked over to see Mercer watching her in amusement.
Quickly averting her eyes she said, “Nothing. There’s one more cup of coffee in
the pot.”

Cristian poured himself a cup and leaned back against the
counter to study them. “I don’t like the idea of you traipsing around the city
like a bull’s-eye.”

“This city is huge. Even if Gavin was here, he would never
find us.”

“It’s risky.”

“And I have no clothes to wear. If it’s the money, I’ll pay
you back. As soon as I get on my feet.”

“It’s not the money. I don’t care about that. I can’t
protect you in the open.”

Croissant finished, Alana waved him off. “We’ll be fine.
I’ve got two bodyguards. What more can a girl ask for?”

“Someone else to go shopping with,” Mercer muttered, rising
from his chair. Clearly, he didn’t like the idea.

“Suck it up.” Alana took a sip of her coffee.

“You women have no idea what it’s like for a man to be
dragged through store after store searching for the perfect pair of shoes.”

Something inside Alana brightened. Shoes. It had been so
long since she’d worn anything but boots. She couldn’t wait to get a pair of
strappy heels. “It sounds like you have experience in this sort of thing.”

Mercer put his cup in the sink. “I had a girlfriend who
loved shoes more than she did me.”

“Ah. Well, I’m ready when you are.” She was anxious to get
out for a while. And finally have clothes to wear that were more her style than
the borrowed cowboy shirt and jeans.

Both Cristian and Mercer groaned softly. But they followed
her to the door anyhow.

Heaven. Alana spun around in front of the dressing room
mirror, checking herself out from the front and behind. The white with vintage
floral black print silk dress fit like a dream. The Old Hollywood style had
caught her attention the minute she’d walked into this upscale shop. Cristian
insisted they shop here and not somewhere less expensive. She didn’t argue too
much. She would pay him back the second she got back on her feet. Besides, he
had great taste in stores.

Biting down on her lip, feeling like a princess getting
ready for the ball, she slipped out of the dress and put it in the
yes
pile, which was growing by the second, bulging with designer jeans, blouses,
slacks and pencil skirts. She’d also thrown in warmer clothes and accessories.
Except for shoes. They hadn’t been to that department yet to get a pair of
two-tone heels to match the dress. And a purse. Right now she had nothing to
put in it, but soon she would get her life back together.

Someone knocked lightly on the door. Thinking it was the
sales clerk, she cracked it open and poked her head out.

It was Cristian, looking painfully patient. “We’ve been here
too long.”

She glanced at the clock on the far wall and saw that an
hour had passed. “I’m almost done. One more thing to try on. I also need to go
into the shoe and lingerie section.”

“Lingerie?”

“And shoes. They’re on the second floor. You can wait down
here. I won’t be as long picking items in either department.” She had already
scared Mercer away. He stood by the front doors, scowling at anyone who
approached.

“Ten minutes.” Cristian pulled the door closed.

Alana shook her head. Men. They just didn’t understand
shopping. It was therapeutic, rejuvenating. And right now she needed both. Just
buying new clothes made her feel more in control.

Quickly changing back into her borrowed clothes, she grabbed
the yes pile and opened the door. The sales clerk, a petite young woman who
reeked of expensive perfume, stood close to Cristian, very obviously flirting.
When she batted her eyelashes, Alana rolled her eyes. The woman was wasting her
time. Cristian was not the bat-your-eyelashes type of man. But that didn’t stop
the wave of jealousy washing through her.

Berating herself for being jealous over a man who would
never belong to her, she stepped out of the dressing room and let the door slam
lightly behind her. The sales clerk looked up, startled, then backed off when
she saw Alana.

“Finished with those?” she asked, reaching for the clothes
in Alana’s hand.

“No, I’ll take these. The reject pile is in the dressing
room. You’ll take care of that, won’t you?”

She was being bitchy and petty, putting the woman in her
place, but she didn’t care. It was too soon for her to think about Cristian
with another woman.

The clerk forced a smile and went to retrieve the clothes.
Alana turned to see Cristian frowning at her.

“What was that about?” he asked.

“Nothing. A mistake. I’m going upstairs. Are you coming?”
Not in the mood to wait, she pushed her pile of clothes at him and headed
toward the elevator.

She had no right to treat the clerk that way. Who could
blame the woman? Cristian was a single, potent, attractive man. They might be
sleeping together, but nothing more. Once he eliminated Gavin, they would go
their separate ways. She would begin a new life and he would go back to his.
Neither of them wanted commitment.

Certainly not her. What did she have to offer? Right now,
nothing. She wouldn’t let Cristian take care of her forever. She already hated
it, even if only for a short time. She didn’t like being kept. She could take
care of herself.

Soon, she would prove that.

While she sailed through the lingerie and shoe department,
Cristian waited patiently by the elevators, holding her things. She’d have
thought he’d be out of place in a shop like this, but oddly, he fit right in.
And she wasn’t the only one who noticed. He received glances from every woman
in the store. It made her irritatingly possessive. She didn’t want to be a
jealous, possessive woman. So why did Cristian gaining so much female attention
bother her?

Snatching a black lace bra and panty set, Alana scowled.
Time to get out of here. Before she did something completely stupid and made a
fool of herself. More than she had already.

Carrying a handful of undergarments and hosiery to where
Cristian stood, she laid them on top of the shoes she had picked out. “I just
need to grab a handbag on the way out.”

Cristian nodded and followed her into the elevator. The
women who had been eyeing him watched, staring in disapproval and disgust at
Alana’s jeans and shirt. For the first time ever, she felt uncomfortable in her
own skin.

Once the doors closed, she leaned back against the wall and
crossed her arms over her waist, feeling inadequate.

“What’s wrong with you?” Cristian asked as the elevator
glided smoothly to the ground floor.

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

She glared at him. “Are you blind? Those women were judging
me. I used to be one of them.”

“Good thing you aren’t anymore.”

Sulking, she muttered, “Yeah, good thing.”

“Alana, you know those women are soulless and vain. Why
would you be upset over what they think? They don’t know you. They have no idea
what led you here. What you’ve been through.”

She looked at him. “They don’t, do they?” Blowing out a long
breath, she leaned her head back against the wall. “I wouldn’t have even these
clothes if it weren’t for the generosity of Sam’s foreman’s wife. I lost
perspective. Thank you.”

He held the clothes aside and leaned in close so their lips
were inches apart. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“You didn’t?” she murmured.

“No. You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?”

She swallowed, unaccustomed to hearing such tender words
from him. Unable to speak, she shook her head.

He growled low in his throat and ground his lips down on
hers. It wasn’t the romantic kiss to fit his words, but she would take it.
Anything Cristian wanted to give her, she would take. Somehow, this man
grounded her. Made her feel she could conquer the world. Like she would make it
through this with minimal scarring. She reached for him.

The doors opened. Cristian pulled away, standing back so she
could exit.

With a tiny smile she hurried off the elevator.

They returned to the penthouse and she went to Cristian’s
room to go through her purchases and change into something more suitable. Something
that didn’t remind her of Sam and the danger he and Caleb were in. It doused
her shopping high and brought her back down to reality. She had clothes to wear
now, but danger still lurked.

Reality hit her as she took the tags off her handbag. She had
nothing to put inside. No credit cards, no driver’s license, no cash. No phone.

Who would she call even if she had one?

Sinking down on the bed, she stared at the empty wallet in
her hands. That familiar, lonely, empty feeling came over her. Along with it,
the ache in her chest. No matter how much she rubbed it, it wouldn’t go away.
Sometimes it spread, encompassing her entire body, but for now it sat in the
middle of her chest like a lead weight.

Just how long was she going to let Gavin do this to her? How
long would she let him win? If she wanted to start her life, she had to get him
out of the picture.

She needed her freedom.

And she knew how to get it.

* * * *

Slade poured olive oil into a saucepan and let it heat.
Mercer sprawled on the couch watching the news. Alana hadn’t emerged from his
bedroom in hours. Probably doing the girl thing and trying on all her new
clothes. Imagining her in the new lacy undergarments she’d added to the pile
today was a whole new form of torture.

Adding sliced shallots, he absently let them cook and
soften, stirring occasionally with a wooden spoon. Baby red potatoes roasted in
the oven, the scent of rosemary filling the kitchen. The dish was one he’d
picked up in France. Of all cuisines, he enjoyed French cooking the best. Liked
the subtle flavors and bold wines.

Adding a cup of water to the pan, he let the mixture simmer
until it reduced. He enjoyed cooking. It reduced stress. Took his mind off
things he’d rather not think about. Like how much he’d enjoyed seeing a spark
back in Alana’s eyes today while she shopped. With so much tragedy in her life,
she deserved a reprieve. Needed it. No one could live with violence and
darkness every minute of the day. God knew, he was an expert in that area.

“Uh-oh,” Mercer murmured from the sofa.

Slade glanced over his shoulder to see Alana, wearing casual
slacks and silk blouse that fit her slender frame like a glove, striding toward
him with purpose. She had pulled her hair back in a chic ponytail and applied
gloss to her lips. He knew it helped her feel more in control. Confidence
looked good on her. His stomach lurched. This was the first step in separating
herself from him.

“We need to talk,” she said. “What is that smell? It’s
heavenly.”

He stirred fresh parsley into the pan, turned off the heat
and finished the mixture with a hand blender. “Dinner,” he answered, pureeing
it and returning it to the saucepan, where he stirred in fresh lemon juice and
seasoned with freshly ground salt and pepper.

“I…you cook?”

“It appears so.”

“I never would have--never mind. I have an idea.”

He put the saucepan on a back burner and poured olive oil
into two large skillets to heat. “Go on.”

“I need your full attention.”

“You have it.” Picking up a halibut filet with a fork, he
placed it in one pan and then another. He placed two more in the other pan.

“Cristian.”

He glanced over his shoulder to see her looking at him with
a serious expression he hadn’t seen on her before.

“Give me six minutes and we can eat. After dinner you can
tell me your idea.”

She nodded. “Fair enough. I’m starving. Can I set the
table?”

He told her where to find the tableware and finished searing
the steaks. When they were finished, he poured the parsley sauce over them, put
the baby potatoes in a bowl and grabbed the Bordeaux out of the wine rack. He
didn’t like the seriousness in Alana’s expression and knew he wouldn’t like her
idea. Something in his gut told him it wasn’t going to be agreeable.

Until then, he would treat her to a fine meal and pretend he
wasn’t interested in her reaction. He didn’t show his more human side often,
and it made him damned uncomfortable. He shouldn’t care if Alana saw who he was
outside a mercenary. But, dammit, he did. And as he sat down at the table,
formally laid out with imported china, he knew Alana had dug herself deep into
his life. And when this was over, he would never be the same.

God help him, he couldn’t do this again. Mariette had left a
hole in his heart and he wasn’t looking for another.

* * * *

Alana watched Cristian pour dark red wine into her glass.
This whole mercenary-cooking-in-the-kitchen thing threw her for a loop. It was
the first time he’d allowed her into his private life. To see the man outside
of his career. Worse, she was falling for the man. The merc. The cook. The
lover. The protector. When he’d kissed her in the elevator and said sweet words
she’d never expected to hear from him, she knew. Knew it was all over for her.
He’d captured her heart and she wasn’t sure she would ever get it back.

Mercer sat between them at the gorgeous stone inlay table,
his gaze bouncing between her and Cristian. She knew he saw more than mercenary
and charge, so she avoided his eyes.

Stabbing a piece of halibut, she pushed all thoughts from
her mind and concentrated on the meal Cristian had prepared. Flavors burst in
her mouth and she groaned, looking at Cristian. “This is delicious.”

“Yeah, Slade, not bad,” Mercer said around a mouthful of
potatoes.

They ate in silence, enjoying the dinner. When they were
finished, she helped clear the table and Mercer volunteered to do the dishes.
She opted to help, and within minutes they were done.

Afterward, they settled in the living area. Mercer sprawled
on the sofa, Cristian in an armchair and she stood at the windows. Cristian had
a nice view of the city. Very romantic.

She turned to face them and drew in a deep breath. Selling
Cristian on her proposal wouldn’t be easy, so she opted for directness. “I want
to be the bait that lures Gavin into a trap.”

Cristian lifted his gaze to hers and Mercer turned down the
television, rising to a sitting position to stare at her.

Tilting her chin, she went on. “We can’t sit around here
waiting for Gavin to make his move. We need to go on the offensive. Lure him
into a trap so you can…do what you do.”

Both Mercer’s and Cristian’s brows rose. Cristian wore
considerably more of a scowl than Mercer, and she plunged on.

“I’ve put a lot of thought into this. I can’t stand all this
sitting around and waiting for the other shoe to drop. I want Gavin Ross to
suffer for what he did to my father. Those innocent people. I want to be the
one who draws him out.”

Cristian’s eyes narrowed. “No.”

“He’s coming for me anyway, Cristian. Why not be there
waiting when he does?”

“She has a point,” Mercer said.

“The hell she does,” Cristian snarled.

“Just hear me out,” Alana said. “I trust you and your team.
I know you’ll have my back and that you won’t let anything happen to me. You
won’t, will you?”

“Hell, no.”

“Then why not? It will be a controlled situation. All the
variables covered. It’s the only way to assure we get him.”

“There is no ‘we.’”

She glared at him. “You’re being stubborn and
overprotective.”