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Authors: Jaxson Kidman

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chapter five

 

(knox)

 

*NOW*

 

Sow Child was nothing short of a
bullshit project to help me waste time away. Who knew that being cut free of
freedom would give me a sense of mindfulness. What the fuck did that mean? It
meant I had notebooks full of ideas, stories, and words that were somehow
strung into songs. If that wasn’t crazy enough, people gave a damn when I
played shows and I actually managed to earn a straight living. Clearing way too
much money each weekend cruising from bar to bar and club to club, I had
teetered on the line of outlaw and rockstar.

What did that mean really?

It meant a lot of women. It meant a
lot of free drinks. And it meant a lot of cash.

But the freedom part never left me.

I still got tangled up when I felt
like it. It was just my nature.

We were ten miles north of town at
some fancy club called DC. It was a packed show, well over a thousand people.
Shit, we were good enough that we had a crew that would set up our shit for us.
That gave me time to hit the road, collect my thoughts, and maybe find a little
trouble.

Trouble.

Trouble took to me to a small patch
of woods where my two wheeled beast could make it easily. Her arms were wrapped
around me tight, first from behind, then from the front, if you catch my drift.

She had been hanging around outside
the club and wanted to go for a ride. Her name was Rebecca and she had pitch
black hair and a feral scream that sounded so good through the woods as I
pounded my cock into her.

I fucked her against a tree and
then put her on my ride. She told me she had never had sex on a motorcycle
before. What kind of life was that? Call me what you want, but I was always a
very giving man. And I gave Rebecca every inch of my dick. I gave her a story,
a fantasy, and I made her come three times.

When I finished, I pulled out of
her and tore the condom off my dick and dropped it to the ground. She was still
clutching the leather seat of my ride, her hips quivering as she stared at me,
out of breath.

“I don’t have time, darlin’,” I
said.

She started to move her legs and
let out a whimper.

Her clit was like a wet pearl, just
there for the taking. I grinned as I lit up a fresh smoke. I guess I had
another few minutes to kill. I reached forward with my right hand and gently
touched her clit. Her hips bucked and I thought she was going to bounce off the
motorcycle. Poor chick hadn’t been fucked properly in a long time, if ever.

She finished again before I
finished my smoke.

She got her ass dressed and we rode
back into town.

I took the stage twenty minutes
late and the second we hit the first chord of the first song, nobody gave a
shit anymore.

I don’t know how it happened, but I
got through two full songs before I realized who was working at the club.

I was moving my fingers from an E
minor to G, not a hard transition if you know what the fuck you’re doing, but
when I saw Ana, I fucked up and dropped my hands. The band covered for me; it
was something I did from time to time, dropping my hands and saying
fuck it
to strumming the guitar.

My eyes trailed Ana as she hurried
with a drink tray.

Her tits were beautiful, even from
my distance, pushing against a white shirt. Her hair was pulled back tight,
leaving that pretty face of hers for the world to see. It filled me with
jealousy. I knew she was taken by some street prick named Porter. He and his
boys ran backdoor deals through a family owned car dealership. They were all well
connected and dangerous. Fuck, they were part of the reason the MC got tossed
away. They were all clean cut, no tats, and could control their anger when
needed. Outlaws like us, but they had a different appearance.

Fuck me

When the guitar solo hit, I was
able to break away from the mic. I just stood there, staring out to the crowd.
The crazy fuckers on the floor were grabbing at my damn boots, screaming for
me. Women, men, whatever, they were all crazy about the music. I could have
been bigger and worldwide famous, but this was better. The devil was better off
hiding and striking when he wanted. I preferred the darkness to the day, get
it?

Ana emptied her tray and then
looked at the stage.

Fucking finally.

Our eyes met - just like that first
day when she got out of the goddamn moving truck - and time slowed.

We stared at each other, knowing
there was nothing we could do at that moment.

So I walked back to the mic and
finished the song.

I finished the entire set, my eyes
trying to keep up with her as she worked the club.

What the fuck was she doing there?
She worked at a club?

It pissed me off a little but then
I got a jolt of hope. Maybe she and Porter were fucking done finally and I
could check up on her. That was it. Just a check up. See how she was doing.

Shit, her mother died from cancer
while I was out on a run with the boys. We had gotten an offer from another MC
to help them move some stuff. The money was great and it was nice to get out of
town. By the time I got back home, I heard the news and couldn’t believe it. I
knew her mother was sick but didn’t realize it was that bad.

It bothered the fuck out of me. I
always had a crush on her mother. She aged too fast though. She lived too fast.
Christ, she chain smoked ever since that first night. And if that wasn’t enough
bullshit for two people like me and Ana, my old man had an affair with Ana’s
mother.

No lie.

Not that I could blame my old man
though. Hell, it made me a little jealous that he got to tear up Abby’s ass and
I didn’t.

When Ma found out Pop was fucking
the neighbor, that was the end of it all for them. By then my grandmother was
long dead and the house was falling apart. I was out on my own, patched in and
moving up the ranks in the Reaper’s Bastards. Next thing I knew, Ma took off
and never wanted to be found again. Pop told me it was for the better. Then the
shit just kept unraveling.

The set came to an end and I put my
guitar down right on stage and gave a quick wave. I got to the side of the
stage when I jammed a smoke between my lips and lit it up. Yeah, a security
guard bitched at me about it but I threw him the finger and kept walking. I was
on the tightrope again on whether to talk to Ana or not. I had sort of made
some kind of shit promise to myself to stay the fuck away. That if she was
happy and good to go, why bother. But she wasn’t fucking happy. Even at the
distance from the stage to the drink tray I could see it. Those were the same
dreadful eyes from the day I met her. When she opened up about her father
leaving. How she felt unloved. She always felt unloved. Even when I loved her
it was like my love wasn’t good enough. That was my flaw in life.

I punched the backdoor to the club
and needed to get some fucking air. I was on edge, seeing red, and I was ready
to lose my shit.

The last thing I needed was a
fucking situation.

But that’s just what I got.

My drummer, Chet (what a fucking
name, right?) grabbed my shoulder.

“Knox, we have a big problem, man.”

I took a deep drag and reminded
myself to stay a little straight here. Chet didn’t do anything wrong. My old
man always tried to give me advice on my anger. I heard his raspy ass voice
telling me to chill.

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

“The guy up front, Danny, he says
he can’t pay us.”

“What?”

“Yeah.”

“The place is packed,” I said. “People
are spending cash hand over fist.”

The rest of band stepped up behind
Chet.

Caine, our bassist, was about seven
feet tall with long ass black hair. He looked like a Halloween prop. He
swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple so big it looked like he swallowed a damn
coconut.

“What?” I asked Caine.

“Guy says he’ll call if we put up a
fight,” Caine said.

“A fight? He’ll call who?”

“You know this place,” Chet said. “It’s
all tied in…”

“Ah, fuck me,” I said.

Of course the club was tied in to
the rest of the shit in town. That’s why Ana was there. She was probably forced
to be there.

I flicked the cigarette to the
concrete and shook my head.

I shook my head. “Fuck this. We’re
getting our money, guys. Get everything packed up and get ready to go.”

“What are you doing?” Bret, the lead
guitarist, asked.

“I’m getting us our fucking money,
man. I’m not taking this shit from anyone.”

“Clubs do this all the time,” Luke
added.

“Not to me,” I said. “Not to us.”

I walked back into the club and cut
a path to the front.

What was on my mind really?

Fucking Ana.

This was my way to get to her.

Shit, I hadn’t seen her in over a
year now. I left my mark last time on her - and Porter.

This time?

Our lives were going to change
for forever.

 

 

chapter six

 

(ana)

 

*THEN*

 

I felt a hand slide over my mouth,
another one over my belly. I started to kick and try to scream, but I was spun
around. I threw elbows, my body instantly in fight mode, ready to attack. I
heard an
umph
sound and then I was let go.

A smart woman would have ran, but I
had to see who the hell tried to attack me.

I turned, fist ready to swing, and
froze when I saw him.

Him.

The Him.

“Knox?” I asked.

He stood with a cocky grin on his
face. He touched the right side of his ribs. “Damn, darlin’, you got me good.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

I was outside a fancy restaurant.
Porter had to stop in and talk to his cousin. I was told to keep my ass outside
and wait. His words, not mine.

“Thought I saw you,” he said. “So I
thought I’d stop and check on you.”

“We haven’t talked in a long time.”

“I know, darlin’. I know. I’ve been
busy.”

He nodded to his leather cut.

Why did he have to look even
hotter wearing that thing?

He pointed to a patch that said
enforcer
.
“That’s new.”

“What’s it mean?”

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Knox
said.

He was as cool and smooth as ever.

When he smiled, my panties were
soaked. I wasn’t ashamed to admit it. Knox was my first, okay? He wasn’t
necessarily the first to touch me but the first to have me. There’s a big
difference between the two. No matter what, he had a piece of me and a piece of
my life.

“You look nervous, darlin’,” Knox
said to me.

“Are you serious right now?” I
asked. “You know…”

He reached forward and grabbed my
arm. “Hey. I heard about your mother. Goddammit, I’m sorry. Cancer?”

I nodded. I felt the same gut punch
as when she told me about it the first time. “Yeah. Crazy. We, uh, I don’t
know. We at least talk now.”

“Shit. I didn’t know it was that
bad between you two.”

“It’s always been bad, Knox. Even
when she was with my father, it was bad. I was just strung along, you know?
That was my life then. When she split up your parents? That was it for me.”

Now Knox grabbed my other arm. He
was holding me.
Fuck, it was so good. So comforting. I wanted him to pull me
close. Kiss me.

“Listen to me, Ana. Your mother did
not split up my parents. My old man always had problems. So did my mother. She
worked herself ragged for nothing. He always looked for the next big thing to
go for. They never once saw eye to eye. It doesn’t make what happened right.
Yeah, they were fucking each other. He was married. Maybe your Ma is a whore,
but I doubt it. She was looking for something and found it in my old man. Just
a temporary fix to a bigger problem. Don’t you ever think that she split them
up though. Or that it did anything to me.”

I swallowed hard. I felt like I
could cry. “But you were gone, Knox. I saw them right before they got caught.
Then everything happened. I had to live next door to your mother. I had to see
her.”

“I’m so sorry, darlin’. I really
am.”

“Now my mother gets hers, right?”

“No. Cancer isn’t the same as sex
with your neighbor.” Knox smiled. He always made me smile. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“How bad is it?”

“They said it’s early enough she
should be okay,” I told him.

Thinking about all that now, I was
so far wrong. So were the doctors. Everyone was wrong. At that exact moment
with Knox, my mother’s life was counting down. Hundreds of days were left for
her to live. And toward the end, those days weren’t even living. They were
simply waiting to die.

“She’ll be fine,” Knox said. “She’s
tough. Like you. Right? You doing okay?”

I forced a nod. “I’m okay.”

“All this shit… it works for you?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t
know what you want me to say, Knox. I know what I want.”

My bottom lip started to quiver.

A second later, his lips touched
mine. The softest, most perfect touch ever. We froze for a few seconds and then
he started to pull away. I hurried and touched his face. The scruff of facial
hair and the steel like line of his jaw. My body ached for him. The craziest
desire stirred up like a hurricane in my core. He made my inner thighs tremble
and my breasts shiver so that my nipples were rigid.

He kissed me again, this time like
the outlaw he was. His tongue commanded me back, pinning me against the very
restaurant my boyfriend was inside. His hands grabbed my hips and slammed my
ass against the wall. As his hands moved down and between my legs, he forced my
legs open and bent his legs, thrusting forward, lifting, making me feel his
thick cock through his jeans. He pressed so hard that my panties rubbed my
clit, making me sigh.

Knox’s left hand then touched my
face while his right hand eased up my body, cupping my breast over my shirt.

We stood there, me slightly arched,
offering the lower half of my body to him as he towered over me, kissing like
fools. We were making out like the world was coming to an end. Hell, the world
for us had already ended. So much stuff put time and space between us, all we
had were these little flirty moments of wildness.

As his hand moved back down my
body, his fingertips touched the top of my jeans. He drew a line right to the
middle of my belly and then slipped down. I think it was his middle finger
(not
like it fucking mattered
) that touched me first. Curling, pulling, exposing
my dampness for his liking. His mouth opened over mine and we stood there,
breathing into each other’s mouth.

Could anything be any hotter than
that?

I could taste all of him. The
cigarettes, whiskey, the leather, the steel and the exhaust of his motorcycle.
The ultimate dream and nightmare rolled into one beautiful package.

He pressed two fingers against my
clit and made circles.

I groaned and bit my lip, keeping
myself from making too much noise. I then gasped for air and he refused to let
up. I grabbed his wrist, fearing Porter was going to come busting out of the
restaurant.

Shit, what would happen then?

My legs started to shake.

My pussy throbbed, wanting him
inside me.

But that wasn’t going to happen.

Knox curled his fingers and rubbed,
bringing me to an instant climax. The back of my legs flexed so tight, they
hurt. I lifted up to my toes. I put my head back and my mouth fell open. I
reminded myself not to scream. My ass was tight and thrusting forward to his
touch as I came. The gush in my panties was almost embarrassing, but I didn’t
give a damn.

The feeling passed and my ass
crashed back to the wall.

I let out a breath and I felt my
face burning hot.

Knox took his hand from my jeans
and stepped back.

I was still trying to regain my
senses, hating that it all had to happen so fast.

Then he lifted his fingers to his
face. He took a deep breath and grinned the most evil grin I’d ever seen in my
life. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

“I’ll never forget that smell,
darlin’,” he said to me.

My jaw dropped. I had almost
forgotten how bold and gross yet sexy Knox could be.

Then he topped himself.

He put his fingers to his mouth and
flicked his tongue against them.

“Goddamn,” he said. “As sweet as
ever. You’re too tempting, Ana. I better get going. It was nice to see you
again.”

“Knox,” I managed to say as he
started to leave.

He looked back at me. “It should be
you. I mean, us. You and me together. I’m not happy, Knox.”

“I know,” he said. Then he threw a
thumb over his shoulder to his back. “I’m loyal to the cut and the patch. I’d
only end up breaking your damn heart. You and I both know that.”

I wanted to say more but didn’t.

I watched as Knox walked away.

He paused when he got to Porter’s
car. Looking over his shoulder again, he offered the classic grin of his. Then
he took out a knife and slashed the front tire.

I gasped.

Knox then started walking again and
didn’t stop.

He got on his motorcycle and rode
away.

When Porter came out of the
restaurant he was livid about the tire. He blamed someone I didn’t know.

All I could do was just smile.

I had plenty of dirty secrets with
Knox.

But the biggest was yet to come.

 

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