Authors: Emma Carlson Berne
“Shut up, shut up, shut up,” I muttered under my breath like a mantra.
Rick returned to the stage and stopped the music momentarily. “All right!” he said, slapping his hands together and rubbing them like a happy chef. “Very nice! Let's add another element, shall we? Before you know it, you'll all be ready for
Dancing With the Stars
!” He laughed. Everyone stared at him, stone-faced, myself included.
“A twirl, just for fun. Gentlemen, just raise your lady's right hand above her head. Ladies, step away one step and twirl.” Rick demonstrated with an imaginary partner. “Okay, now everyone will try it.”
I pinned Larry with the most pointed stare I could muster. He gave me a huge toothy grin. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to summon my inner strength. It occurred to me that Larry could actually be beneficial. All the guys who had been bothering me at school would think I was off-limits.
For one nanosecond, I wondered if bringing Larry to prom would violate the GNBP. Then I shook my head violently. The heat of the gym must be getting to me.
“Do you have a tic or something?” Larry asked. His breath smelled like pizza. Before I could answer, he twirled me around so fast, I almost lost my balance all over again. I staggered slightly as I came to rest and was forced to pause, my hands on my knees, until the world around me stopped spinning.
“Very nice, very nice! Impressive enthusiasm!” Rick called across the room. “You there!”
I turned. He was pointing directly at us.
No, please.
I stared straight ahead, hoping that if I didn't look at him, he wouldn't be able to see me. But it didn't work any better than it had when I was three.
“Brown ponytail!” Rick was calling. “Would you and your partner mind demonstrating a few steps?”
I looked around to see if there might possibly be another brown ponytail in the vicinity. But no. There wasn't.
“Hey, that's us!” Larry sounded as if he'd been offered a free trip to 24-Hour Video-Game Land. He immediately started for the
front of the room, dragging me behind him like a recalcitrant toddler.
God, haven't I suffered enough? I always thought I was a good personâyou know, helped my mom, refrained from committing major felonies, that sort of thing.
But apparently, I was now going to demonstrate salsa in front of two hundred of my classmates with my five-foot cousin as my partner.
Larry and I reached the riser, where Rick stood waiting, and mounted the steps. The audience of upturned faces swam before me like balloons in the sea. A little murmur ran through the crowd. “Yeah, Val!” someone yelled. It sounded like Kevin.
“Lovely work out there, you two.” Rick slapped his hands together with relish. “Let's have you demonstrate a variation on the twirl, the in-and-out.” He laughed merrily.
My heart quailed. I glanced over at Larry, who was ostentatiously rolling up his sleeves as if about to perform major surgery. This was just wrong on so many levels.
“Don't look so nervous, young lady!” Rick said. “This will be very easy. The young manâwhat is your name?” He looked at Larry questioningly.
“Lothario,” Larry said. He pushed out his lips and narrowed his eyes in what I supposed was a “Hello, ladies” attitude. The audience below me erupted in laughter.
“Lothario?
” I heard a guy in the front say to the girl next to him.
Rick didn't seem to notice anything amiss. “All right, Lothario. And who is your lovely partner?” He smiled at me, showing all his teeth.
“Val,” I mumbled as quietly as possible.
“Hal?” Rick asked.
“
Val
,” I said slightly louder, just as the music behind me swelled.
“Okay, so Hal and Lothario are going to demonstrate the in-and-out twirl,” Rick informed the crowd.
“It's
Val
,” I almost yelled, but he had already turned to Larry.
“Lothario, you'll want to stand just behind Hal, with your arm around her waist like this,” Rick instructed. I cringed as Larry's arm crept across my midsection. Rick was still going on. “And then on the count of three, you'll want to take a step back, just
fling
her out, and then twirl and
pull
her back in. Ready? And one-two-three
”
Larry took a giant step back and with
what must have been all the strength in his skinny arm, threw me out across the riser like a slingshot. Unfortunately, at the end of the
fling
, he failed to keep hold of my hand. I skittered across the flimsy plywood floor, groping frantically for Larry's hand, which was now a good foot away from my own, and soared off the edge of the riser. I pinwheeled my arms wildly as I pitched headlong into space, only to fall directly on top of the vice principal, knocking him flat on the floor.
“Ooof!” Mr. Solis woofed. A loud “Ooooh” rose from the audience around us. You know the moment in every action movie when the scene goes into slow motion and all you can hear is the hero's heartbeat, like really loud and really slow, as he stares into the barrel of the gun aimed at him? And then he launches himself off into midair, shouting “Nooooo!” in slo-mo, all deep? Well, this was just like that.
For about five years, I stared pop-eyed into Mr. Solis's face, which was two inches from my own. His mouth opened and closed without sound, as if he were underwater. Then I snapped out of my trance. I rolled to the side, climbed to my feet,
and gathering all the focus I had left, forced myself to smile calmly at the ring of fascinated eyes around me, as if tackling the vice principal on the gym floor were the most normal thing in the world. Kelly and Becca rushed up to me. Adam was following closely behind, minus his blond partner, as my stunned mind dimly noted. “Are you okay?” Becca whispered. I nodded. She put her arm around my shoulders. On my other side, Adam patted my upper arm. I gave him a grateful little smile.
Mr. Solis, his face now practically eggplant colored, got slowly and painfully to his feet. He stood for a moment, straightening his wrinkled gray suit jacket, then took out a large white handkerchief and mopped his streaming face. The gym was completely silent, except for the sound of his heavy breathing.
Up on the stage, Larry and Rick were standing frozen. Then Rick broke from his trance, gave Larry a shove, and nodded in my direction. Larry blinked and scrambled down off the stage, weaving his way through the crowd in my direction. Without warning, Adam dropped back and melted into the crowd. “Don't look at me, don't talk to
me, don't come near me,” I hissed through my teeth as Larry came near. He wisely faded back several feet behind me.
Mr. Solis looked around at the assembled crowd. “I thinkâ” He stopped and cleared his throat. “Perhaps we might all go home a little early tonight.” He waved his hand over us. “Dismissed.”
No one moved.
He raised his voice. “Dismissed! Go home! Get a decent night's rest for once
” He turned toward the door, mumbling. People stepped aside as he passed by, making a little path in the silent crowd. All eyes followed his wide gray back as it passed the bleachers and disappeared through the blue metal doors.
Then, as if given a cue, everyone began milling around, talking loudly and gathering their backpacks to head out to the parking lot. I looked around for Adam, but he had faded back into the crowd. “You want a ride, Val?” Becca asked, her face still creased with concern. “You can just leave the Saab in the parking lot. No one would care.”
I shook my head. “Thanks, guys. I have to drive my idiot date home. Call you later, okay?” I waved at them and pushed through the crowd, trying to ignore the stares and
murmurs that followed me. I had almost reached the gym doors when I heard my name called.
I turned. Dave stood behind me, smiling a little and miraculously Taylor-less. I gritted my teeth, but even so, I could feel my heart rate zoom up. This was the first time I'd seen him alone since the breakup. I'd forgotten how dark his eyes were. Before I could say anything, he put a hand on my arm and pulled me into a shadowy place under the bleachers.
We faced each other. He was standing close enough for me to smell his aftershaveâsomething woodsy. I folded my arms across my chest, resisting the urge to throw myself against his incredibly hot self. That was how I wound up with him in the first place.
I didn't say anything. He shuffled his feet. Behind us, crowds streamed out the gym doors, but we were alone under the bleachers. Finally, Dave spoke. “Val, I know we haven't talked really since, um, after spring break, but I, ah, wanted to tell you that I'm sorry if I hurt you. I never meant for things to happen this way. They just sort of
did.”
I stared at him. My pulse began pounding in my ears. For a minute, I didn't trust
myself to speak.
“They just sort of did?”
I struggled to keep my voice steady. “
That's
your reason for cheating on me out of nowhere?”
Dave's mouth hardened. He held up his hands. “Hey, Val, look, I was just trying to apologize hereâ”
All of the anger from the last month boiled up in me. “That is the crappiest apology I have ever heard. You're sorry
if
you hurt me? You
did
hurt me! You never meant to cheat on me? Then
why did you
?” Now I was almost shouting, my face only a few inches from his.
He backed up a few steps and glanced out at the gym nervously. “Keep your voice down, would you? I'm actually trying to be
nice
. But if you don't want to talk, that's cool.” He let his hands drop to his sides. “I didn't know I was going to get yelled at for saying I'm sorry.”
I just stared at him, my mouth hanging open. Who
was
this guy? The one who decided we should slide down the bunny slope on our butts, instead of on our skis? The one who spent all morning making a snowman with me in front of the cabin?
I closed my eyes and took several deep
breaths, concentrating on my breath going in and out of my nose, just like we learned in yoga. I willed myself not to commit an act of homicide right here in the school gym. I opened my eyes. Dave was gone.
I whirled around, only to see his back disappearing into the crowd. I watched him weave through the throngs of people until he reached the distant door. Taylor was waiting for him, fiddling with her giant gold handbag. She took his hand. He said something to her. She turned and stared at me. I gave her a huge, fake grin and a big wave.
He's all yours, chick. Have a great time. You two deserve each other.
Larry was thumbing his phone silently when I opened the car door. He didn't even look up as the yellow dome light illuminated the interior. “You're lucky you're not walking,” I said as I turned the key and, looking behind me, backed carefully out of the parking space.
“Whatever,” he mumbled.
“Whatever? Are you serious?” I beeped at a car in front of me that was hanging out at a stop sign. “You tell heinous, stupid lies about me to the entire class, dump me on the floor, and throw me off the stage onto the vice principal, and
whatever
is all you can say?” I had officially entered screeching mode.
“Yeah, is that a problem for you?” he shouted back, his voice cracking on the last word. He stuffed his phone into his pocket and crossed his arms over his chest.
“It
is
a problem, you stupid littleâ,” I yelled before I stopped myself. I was not going to let this devolve into a shouting match with idiot Larry.
We drove the rest of the way in black silence, Larry immobile in the passenger seat, radiating noxious rays of sullenness; myself hunched over the steering wheel, grinding my teeth, wondering at what speed you could throw someone out of a car without having them actually die. At Aunt Beth's, Larry slammed the car door as hard as he could and stalked up the walkway. Losing my iron grip on self-control, I rolled down the window. “Have fun with your stupid game!” I shouted. “Don't feel lame or anything, sitting at home by yourself!” Not very clever, but I felt better as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Larry turned around and gave me the finger, not noticing that Aunt Beth had opened the front door and seen the whole thing.
As I steered the car toward home, my thoughts turned back to the scene with Dave. It was like talking to him had exorcised something inside of me. If there had been any cell, any atom, that was hanging on to Dave, it was gone. I snapped on the radio and found “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” blaring from the speakers. I rolled down the windows and let the cool night air whisk through the car. “
Daddy dear, you know you're still number one, but girls just wanna have fu-un, oooh, girls just wanna have fun,
” I shouted into the dark night. I sang all the way home.
“Now, look, Val, just forget about the whole thing,” Becca advised as she, Kelly, and I walked down the hall at school the next morning. “You were just attracting some bad vibes last night, that's all. You need to keep your mind on the GNBP.” She stuck a cherry Blow Pop in her mouth and sucked on it noisily. “Just think how great Kelly is going to look in those purple heels.”