Harmony's Healing (Downtown Book 2) (13 page)

I blow out a breath and nod my head. “So do I.” I want to get back what we had, be who we once were before Faith came back into our lives. I won’t deny it, I could live without seeing her ever again, but Lucky loves her, plus Harmony was right when she repeated what I have already known - it wasn’t Faith’s fault my father was such an asshole. It’s really hard to accept that fact. “It’s Harmony,” I mutter out.

“Sick shit what the press is saying about her, but I don’t believe it. You shouldn’t either,” he advice’s, then drags another puff of his smoke.

“The thing is...I think it might be true.” I turn myself around and lean against the railing, crossing my arms and feet. Glad I have my flannel shirt on, the wind is really cold up here. “I’ve tried calling her, but she won’t answer my calls, or texts.”

“If it is true, who the fuck cares?” Lucky scoffs as he flicks his cig. I agree. I don’t give a crap if she was one or not. I actually think it’s pretty hot. “You have it hard for her, don’t you?” Lucky turns and stares at me

“Doesn’t matter,” I shrug and keep my head down, unable to look at him.

“It does,” Lucky argues. “You know Wayne….he won’t last long with her.”

I fucking hope he’s right. I can’t stand knowing that those two could be…...it kills me. We stand silent for a minute while Lucky finishes his bud. It’s really hard for me to get this out, but I want to tell him. “She’s….she’s making me think….about stuff.” Lucky doesn’t have to say anything, I already know he’s happy that my head is slowly coming out of my ass. Harmony it seems is getting under my skin and is opening my eyes to life. I change the subject. “I’m going home for Christmas. Need some time off after the show tomorrow.” I’ve been thinking about seeing my mom ever since I saw her at our concert. I hated knowing she was alone on Thanksgiving, even though she said she went to a friends house. I didn’t want her spending another important holiday without me.

“It will be good to spend time with your mom.”

I couldn’t agree more. “Thanks, man...glad we’re working things out.”

“Me too, Danny-boy.”

We give each other a fist bump.

Before we go back inside the studio I acknowledge the elephant in the room. “Look...uh...I’m gonna try harder…..with Faith.” I thought I was going to have a bad taste in my mouth after admitting that, but I wasn’t lying. As much as I want to keep blaming Faith, it just isn’t possible anymore. Harmony is right.

Lucky gives me a big grin and lazily puts his arm around my shoulder then shoves me to the side, laughing. I shove him right back and continue the laughter until we make it down the hall.

My laughter quickly dies down as soon as June exits the studio, beaming. “Cool beans! See ya tonight!”

I am back to rage and jealousy when Wayne gets on his cell, phoning Harmony. “Babe!” He exclaims. “Dinner. Tonight with Lucky, Faith, June and that guy Phillip.” I feel my blood boiling and fists clenching when he chuckles and slyly explains to her what he expects of her. “Yeah, wear something small and sexy so I can rip it off with my teeth. You know how I love short-ass, slutty dresses.” He says something else to her, but it’s too low for me to hear. Whatever it was it got him laughing again. “Later.” He stuffs his cell in his back pocket when I come charging up to him, ready to take his sorry ass down.

“I am so fucking sick of you using her, you piece of shit!” I push him up against the wall, grabbing onto his shirt. We are eye to eye; I am seriously pissed off and he looks shocked. He may be muscular, bigger than I am, but nothing can make me give a shit. He uses the woman I love, he goes in the fucking ground.

“What the fuck Danny!” I punch his gut, which feels like a piece of slate, almost breaking my hand. Wayne doesn’t make a sound and doesn’t try to fight me. What the fuck, why not? I go for his face this time and he takes my shot again.

I get pulled away by Slim and Jason. “Danny back off!” They both order me.

“Stay away from her!” I yell. I try to get out of their grips, but they stuff my arms behind my back. I have no way of getting released.

“Danny!” Lucky gets up in my face. I am reeling and shaking. Wayne is still against the wall looking pretty, like I did nothing to him. I want to rip him to pieces.

I’m still trying to get released, but Jason yells at me. “Bro, calm the fuck down!” He forcefully takes me away, outside the studio and into the van. He drives me home where he tells me to suck it up and to be ready for tomorrows show.

I was angry as fuck, just wanting to get trashed, but then I thought otherwise. I rehearsed, wrote a couple new songs and blasted some music for the rest of the day. As the day ended still nothing from Harmony. I took a few shots of Tequila then went to bed.

I wake up at the crack of dawn feeling no better than I did yesterday. I know I made a mess of things with Wayne and the band, but that guy needed to be put in his place. My hand is still a bit swollen from punching him. I bet I didn’t even make a dent in the guy, his stomach was like steel. Then it hit me - yesterday when I went ballistic - I am in love with Harmony. I can’t sleep and can barely function without her, I am driving myself crazy; I’m throwing punches at one of my best friends, I’m unstable and losing my mind.

Today is the big day though. I need to be on my best behavior and act like a professional. We’re going to be on the fucking
Ellen Degeneres
show, so yeah I’ll definitely keep my head on straight. I make a pot of coffee and jump in the shower. By the time I am all dressed and have downed my first cup of joe, Lyric calls and tells me the limo is on it’s way.
Here goes nothin’.

The limo ride was quiet and the vibes were tense. I think we were all pretty nervous and hoping we weren’t going to blow the entire segment. I stayed to myself the entire trip up to LA and kept my eyes closed. I knew Wayne wanted to talk, but I just didn’t have it in me. I wanted to relax and be ready for the show; any distractions were going to throw me off. However, my hand was aching and Wayne’s face had a slight bruise on the upper part of his eye, but it would get covered by stage makeup. I held an ice pack on my hand hoping the swelling would go down. I’d play no matter what though. The show must go on. No one questioned me about my hand. They knew better than to discuss what happened yesterday. I wasn’t ready to talk about it and I wasn’t ready to apologize to Wayne either. If that makes me a dick, so be it.

As we were getting off the freeway that’s when everyone started getting excited and anxious. Lucky was on the phone with Faith. Slim was, for once not on his social media, but talking with Lyric instead,. Jason and Wayne were engaged in some conversation while I tried texting Harmony one more time.

I don’t care how many times I text her, I’ll keep doing it until I get through. She’ll answer me at some point - I hope.

Getting to meet Ellen was by far the most mind-blowing, surreal moment of my entire life. The entire band was on cloud nine and couldn’t believe we had a full-on conversation with her. She was hilarious, down to earth and excited we were debuting for the first time on her show.

After we met her and the staff, we got situated in our green room, then took a trip onto the set and rehearsed a couple of our numbers. We sounded fucking awesome. You wouldn’t even have noticed we played like shit yesterday. Wayne and I kept our distances and everyone got along.

It’s almost time to take our places. My hands are sweaty and I’m shaking with nerves.
Please God don’t let us fuck this up.

Lyric claps her hands together and is overly enthusiastic. I’ve never seen her so animated. She usually is very quiet. “This is your biggest moment yet, guys! You ready for this because after your show airs, you’ll be bigger than ever.”
Bigger than ever? Holy shit!

“Excellent! Then let’s show the world with a group selfie!” Slim gets his phone ready. We all groan, but we have to keep the fans happy and really, it’s no big deal. We’re all pumped and excited, so one little selfie isn’t going to hurt. “Lyric get in with us.” He waves his hand for her to get in the picture and she starts to laugh.

“No, not me. I’m your manager, not a groupie.” He wouldn’t take no for answer, so he takes her hand and brings her over for the picture. She turns bright red when he touches her hand
. Hmm. Could be nerves or…..none of my business.
He takes his silly picture and immediately posts it all over social media.

Right after that we get a knock on the door and one of the staff members enters. “Okay,
JINKS
you’re up next!”

We knocked our segment out of the park. The audience went crazy, screaming when we played our hit single,
Shattered
. Then when Ellen came up to us and introduced the five of us, the girls went nuts. I don’t think any one of us could stop smiling, it was one of the best Goddamn moments of our career. To top it off, Ellen gave away our music cd to the entire audience and we closed out her show with
Forbidden Faith
. It was just unfricken-believable.

On the drive home we celebrated with some good booze. We even got Lyric to throw her hair down and join the fun. By the time we all settled down, Slim had his feet up on Lyric’s lap passed out, and Jason was curled up in the corner of the limo seat snoring. Lucky had his arms crossed and his head tilted back with his eyes closed, but I wasn’t sure if he was asleep or not. Wayne was on his phone doing something and I was ready to crash in my own bed; my eyes were slowly shutting.

It’s super late. The traffic was extremely heavy, it felt like we were driving for several days. I can’t wait to get out of this limo. The guys all stir awake as we make the stop in front of my building. I really hope there aren’t any paps outside ready to take our pictures, because I am not in the mood for their shit. I need to lie down.

Everyone hops out of the limo to wish me a good time in Arizona. I was secretly hoping Harmony would be here, but it’s unlikely since it’s after midnight. “Have a good Christmas, bro,” Lucky says.

We fist bump. “You too.”

“See you when you get back.”

“Later.” I stuff my hands in my jacket and turn away to head back up stairs. I’m about to go inside when Wayne calls after me. I stiffen the second we come face to face.

“No hard feelings?”

What is he talking about? I’m the one who busted his face. Oh, but this must be about Harmony. Yeah of course it does.
“You talking about Harmony? If it’s about her…. then, yeah, I do. You’re fucking around with her and I don’t like it. She deserves better.”

“You know what, you’re right,” he shrugs. “She does deserve better, but it’s definitely not you. Not until you clean yourself up.”

“What the fuck does that suppose mean?”

“You know what I mean, man,” he argues calmly. He then points toward my chest and adds, “What you hold inside…..it’s toxic, Danny. You’ll never be good enough for her either,” he states somberly. “Merry Christmas.” He walks away with his head bowed and hops back inside the limo. I can’t seem to move because what he just told me was the most honest piece of shit I have ever heard him say to anyone.

I’m fucked up. I’m beyond what Harmony needs in her life. I have a feeling I won’t ever be good enough. Not until I get my shit together.

The next morning I packed a bag and called a cab to take me to the airport. Before I left I had the urge to phone Faith to ask her for Harmony’s address, but I chickened out. I can’t ask her for any favors when I’ve been a total jerk since day one. I’ll just have to make amends after Christmas. Maybe by then I’ll have the courage to speak with Faith like a real grownup. And as for Harmony….I’ll keep up with the texting. She’s got to answer me sooner or later…..right? Shit, why won’t she talk to me? Is she that embarrassed about her past? I mean if stripping is what she did, which most likely she did since she ran off without a word to me, she needs to know it’s okay and she shouldn’t be ashamed. I want to help her just as much as she’s been helping me. Why can’t we heal each other? Or maybe Wayne is the guy she has chosen?
Bullshit - he is not who she needs.

It’s been a long time since I’ve stepped foot inside my old house. Looks the same and smells like home. It’s an old two bedroom, yellow house with a white picket fence out front, tall palm tree in the middle of the yard, rose bushes under the living room window and that crappy black mailbox I made in sixth grade; it’s still hanging next to the front door. I can’t believe Mom still has that thing. I made it in metal shop and thought it was badass at the time. Now it’s weathered and ready to be replaced.

The old wooden floors creak as I walk to my old bedroom. Mom turned it into a guest room and sewing room. She painted it from navy blue into a light shade of blue and has pictures of flowers and beaches on the walls. In the center of the room is a queen bed and the sewing table is in the corner near the window. Even though the room isn’t the same, it feels good to be back. I chuck my bag onto the bed and join my mother in the living room.

We didn’t do much just hung out and talked. I almost brought up the subject about Dad’s will and letter, but I wasn’t ready to get into it just yet. I wanted to enjoy the peace before I broke the dam. We did talk about the band being on Ellen and how surreal it was to be on her show. We’re going to watch it together when it airs this week. I was getting pretty tired so I took a nap while Mom prepared dinner.

The house smelled insanely good when I woke up. I checked my phone for any messages. I had a few, but not from anyone that went by the name of Harmony.
Fuck...I missed her.

We’re almost done with dinner. Pot roast, potatoes and carrots. Home sweet, fucking home. I have missed this shit. “I am so glad you’re home,” my mom smiles and places her hand on top of mine. How could my dad leave this beautiful woman? Long dark, curly hair, blue eyes, and a smile that brightens up a room. Only fifty-five years old and she still looks too young to be my mother. All these years I haven’t ever seen her with another man. I want to ask her if she’s dating, but I’d feel a little weird, butting in her love life like that. When the time is right she’ll tell me if she’s seeing someone or not.