Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (31 page)

'All we do is read the stupid textbook,' said Ron.

'Ah, well, that figures,' said Sirius. 'Our information Irom inside the Ministry is that Fudge doesn't want you trained in combat.'

'Trained in combat!' repeated Harry incredulously. 'What does he think we're doing here, forming some sort of wizard army?'

That's exactly what he thinks you're doing,' said Sirius, 'or, rather, that's exactly what he's afraid Dumbledore's doing - forming his own private army, with which he will be able to take on the Ministry of Magic.'

There was a pause at this, then Ron said, That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard, including all the stuff that Luna Lovegood comes out with.'

'So we're being prevented from learning Defence Against the Dark Arts because Fudge is scared we'll use spells against the Ministry?' said Hermione, looking furious.

'Yep,' said Sirius. 'Fudge thinks Dumbledore will stop at nothing to seize power. He's getting more paranoid about Dumbledore by the day. It's a matter of time before he has Dumbledore arrested on some trumped-up charge.'

This reminded Harry of Percy's letter.

'D'you know if there's going to be anything about Dumbledore in the Daily Prophet tomorrow? Ron's brother Percy reckons there will be -'

'I don't know,' said Sirius, 'I haven't seen anyone from the Order all weekend, they're all busy. It's just been Kreacher and me here

There was a definite note of bitterness in Sirius's voice.

'So you haven't had any news about Hagrid, either?'

'Ah…' said Sirius, 'well, he was supposed to be back by now, no one's sure what's happened to him.' Then, seeing their stricken faces, he added quickly, 'But Dumbledore's not worried, so don't you three get yourselves in a state; I'm sure Hagrid's fine.'

'But if he was supposed to be back by now…' said Hermione in a small, anxious voice.

'Madame Maxime was with him, we've been in touch with her and she says they got separated on the journey home - but there's nothing to suggest he's hurt or - well, nothing to suggest he's not perfectly OK.'

Unconvinced, Harry, Ron and Hermione exchanged worried looks.

'Listen, don't go asking too many questions about Hagrid,' said Sirius hastily, 'it'll just draw even more attention to the fact that he's not back and I know Dumbledore doesn't want that. Hagrid's tough, he'll be OK.' And when they did not appear cheered by this, Sirius added, 'When's your next Hogsmeade weekend, anyway? I was thinking, we got away with the dog disguise at the station, didn't we? I thought I could —'

'NO!' said Harry and Hermione together, very loudly.

'Sirius, didn't you see the Daily Prophet?' said Hermione anxiously.

'Oh, that,' said Sirius, grinning, 'they're always guessing where I am, they haven't really got a clue -'

'Yeah, but we think this time they have,' said Harry. 'Something Malfoy said on the train made us think he knew it was you, and his father was on the platform, Sirius - you know, Lucius Malfoy - so don't come up here, whatever you do. If Malfoy recognises you again -'

'All right, all right, I've got the point,' said Sirius. He looked most displeased. 'Just an idea, thought you might like to get together.'

'I would, I just don't want you chucked back in Azkaban!' said Harry.

There was a pause in which Sirius looked out of the fire at Harry, a crease between his sunken eyes.

'You're less like your father than I thought,' he said finally, a definite coolness in his voice. The risk would've been what made it fun for James.'

'Look -'

'Well, I'd better get going, I can hear Kreacher coming down the stairs,' said Sirius, but Harry was sure he was lying. Til write to tell you a time I can make it back into the fire, then, shall I? If you can stand to risk it?'

There was a tiny pop, and the place where Sirius's head had been was flickering flame once more.

They had expected to have to comb Hermione's Daily Prophet carefully next morning to find the article Percy had mentioned in his letter. However, the departing delivery owl had barely cleared the top of the milk jug when Hermione let out a huge gasp and flattened the newspaper to reveal a large photograph of Dolores Umbridge, smiling widely and blinking slowly at them from beneath the headline.

MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM

DOLORES UMBR1DGE APPOINTED

FIRST EVER HIGH INQUISITOR

'Umbridge - “High Inquisitor”?' said Harry darkly, his half-eaten piece of toast slipping from his fingers. 'What does that mean?' Hermione read aloud:

'In a surprise move last night the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at
Hogwarts
School
of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

'“The Minister has been growing uneasy about goings-on at Hogwarts for some time,” said junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley. “He is now responding to concerns voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction they do not approve of.”

'This is not the first time in recent weeks that the Minister, Cornelius Fudge, has used new laws to effect improvements at the

wizarding school. As recently as 30ih August, Educational Decree Number Twenty-two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current Headmaster being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching post, the Ministry should select an appropriate person. '“That's how Dolores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts,” said Weasley last night. “Dumbledore couldn't find anyone so the Minister put in Umbridge, and of course, she's been an immediate success —”'

'She's been a WHAT?' said Harry loudly. 'Wait, there's more,' said Hermione grimly.

'“— an immediate success, totally revolutionising the teaching of Defence Against the Dark Arts and providing the Minister with on-the-ground feedback about what's really happening at Hogwarts.”

'It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalised with the passing of Educational Decree Number Twenty-three, which creates the new position of Hogwarts High Inquisitor.

'“This is an exciting new phase in the Minister's plan to get to grips with what some are calling the falling standards at Hogwarts,” said Weasley. “The Inquisitor will have powers to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbridge has been offered this position in addition to her own teaching post and we are delighted to say that she has accepted.”

'The Ministry's new moves have received enthusiastic support from parents of students at Hogwarts.

“T feel much easier in my mind now that I know Dumbledore is being subjected to fair and objective evaluation,” said Mr Lucius Malfoy, 41, speaking from his Wiltshire mansion last night. “Many of us with our children's best interests at heart have been concerned about some of Dumbledore's eccentric decisions in the last few years and are glad to know that the Ministry is keeping an eye on the situation.”

'Among those eccentric decisions are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the employment of werewolf Remus Lupin, half-giant Rubeus Hagrid and delusional ex-Auror, “Mad-Eye” Moody.

'Rumours abound, of course, that Albus Dumbledore, once Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards and Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, is no longer up to the task of managing the prestigious school of Hogwarts.

'“I think the appointment of the Inquisitor is a first step towards ensuring that Hogwarts has a headmaster in whom we can all repose our confidence,” said a Ministry insider last night.

'Wizengamot elders Griselda Marchbanks and Tiberius Ogden have resigned in protest at the introduction of the post of Inquisitor to Hogwarts.

'“Hogwarts is a school, not an outpost of Cornelius Fudge's office,” said Madam Marchbanks. “This is a further, disgusting attempt to discredit Albus Dumbledore.”

'(For a full account of Madam Marchbanks's alleged links to . subversive goblin groups, turn to page seventeen.)'

Hermione finished reading and looked across the table at the other two.

'So now we know how we ended up with Umbridge! Fudge passed this “Educational Decree” and forced her on us! And now he's given her the power to inspect the other teachers!' Hermione was breathing fast and her eyes were very bright. 'I can't believe this. It's outrageous]'

'I know it is,' said Harry. He looked down at his right hand, clenched on the table-top, and saw the faint white outline of the words Umbridge had forced him to cut into his skin.

But a grin was unfurling on Ron's face.

'What?' said Harry and Hermione together, staring at him.

'Oh, I can't wait to see McGonagall inspected,' said Ron happily. 'Umbridge won't know what's hit her.'

'Well, come on,' said Hermione, jumping up, 'we'd better get going, if she's inspecting Binns's class we don't want to be late…'

But Professor Umbridge was not inspecting their History of Magic lesson, which was just as dull as the previous Monday, nor was she in Snape's dungeon when they arrived for double Potions, where Harry's moonstone essay was handed back to him with a large, spiky black 'D' scrawled in an upper corner.

THE Hoc WARTS HIGH INQUISITOR

'I have awarded you the grades you would have received if you presented this work in your OWL,' said Snape with a smirk, as he swept among them, passing back their homework. This should give you a realistic idea of what to expect in the examination.'

Snape reached the front of the class and turned on his heel to face them.

The general standard of this homework was abysmal. Most of you would have failed had this been your examination. I expect to see a great deal more effort for this weeks essay on the various varieties of venom antidotes, or I shall have to start handing out detentions to those dunces who get a "D'V

He smirked as Malfoy sniggered and said in a carrying whisper, 'Some people got a “D”? Ha!'

Harry realised that Hermione was looking sideways to see what grade he had received; he slid his moonstone essay back into his bag as quickly as possible, feeling that he would rather keep that information private.

Determined not to give Snape an excuse to fail him this lesson, Harry read and reread every line of instructions on the blackboard at least three times before acting on them. His Strengthening Solution was not precisely the clear turquoise shade of Hermione's but it was at least blue rather than pink, like Neville's, and he delivered a flask of it to Snape's desk at the end of the lesson with a feeling of mingled defiance and relief.

'Well, that wasn't as bad as last week, was it?' said Hermione, as they climbed the steps out of the dungeon and made their way across the Entrance Hall towards lunch. 'And the homework didn't go too badly, either, did it?'

When neither Ron nor Harry answered, she pressed on, 'I mean, all right, I didn't expect the top grade, not if he's marking to OWL standard, but a pass is quite encouraging at this stage, wouldn't you say?'

Harry made a non-committal noise in his throat.

'Of course, a lot can happen between now and the exam, we've got plenty of time to improve, but the grades we're getting now are a sort of baseline, aren't they? Something we can build on…"

They sat down together at the Gryffmdor table.

'Obviously, I'd have been thrilled if I'd got an “O” -'

'Hermione,' said Ron sharply 'if you want to know what grades we got, ask.'
:
-'

'I don't - I didn't mean - well, if you want to tell me -' ••-

'I got a “P”,' said Ron, ladling soup into his bowl. 'Happy?'

'Well, that's nothing to be ashamed of,' said Fred, who had just arrived at the table with George and Lee Jordan and was sitting down on Harry's right. 'Nothing wrong with a good healthy “P”.'

'But,' said Hermione, 'doesn't “P” stand for…"

'“Poor”, yeah,' said Lee Jordan. 'Still, better than “D”, isn't it? “Dreadful”?'

Harry felt his face grow warm and faked a small coughing fit over his roll. When he emerged from this he was sorry to find that Hermione was still in full flow about OWL grades.

'So top grade's “O” for “Outstanding”,' she was saying, 'and then there's “A” -'

'No, “E”,' George corrected her, '“E” for “Exceeds Expectations”. And I've always thought Fred and I should've got “E” in everything, because we exceeded expectations just by turning up for the exams.'

They all laughed except Hermione, who ploughed on, 'So, after “E” it's “A” for “Acceptable”, and that's the last pass grade, isn't it?'

'Yep,' said Fred, dunking an entire roll in his soup, transferring it to his mouth and swallowing it whole.

Then you get “P” for “Poor”-' Ron raised both his arms in mock celebration - 'and “D” for “Dreadful”.'

'And then “T”,' George reminded him.

'T“?' asked Hermione, looking appalled. 'Even lower than a ”D“? What on earth does ”T" stand for?'

'Troll",' said George promptly.

Harry laughed again, though he was not sure whether or not George was joking. He imagined trying to conceal from Hermione that he had received T's in all his OWLs and immediately resolved to work harder from now on.

'You lot had an inspected lesson yet?' Fred asked them.

'No,' said Hermione at once. 'Have you?'

'Just now, before lunch,' said George. 'Charms.'

THE Hoc WARTS HIGH INQUISITOR

'What was it like?' Harry and Hermione asked together.

Fred shrugged.

'Not that bad. Umbridge just lurked in the corner making notes on a clipboard. You know what Flitwick's like, he treated her like a guest, didn't seem to bother him at all. She didn't say much. Asked Alicia a couple of questions about what the classes are normally like, Alicia told her they were really good, that was it.'

'I can't see old Flitwick getting marked down,' said George, 'he usually gets everyone through their exams all right.'

'Who've you got this afternoon?' Fred asked Harry.

Trelawney -'

'A “T” if ever I saw one.'

'- and Umbridge herself.'

'Well, be a good boy and keep your temper with Umbridge today' said George. 'Angelina'll do her nut if you miss any more Quidditch practices.'

But Harry did not have to wait for Defence Against the Dark Arts to meet Professor Umbridge. He was pulling out his dream diary in a seat at the very back of the shadowy Divination room when Ron elbowed him in the ribs and, looking round, he saw Professor Umbridge emerging through the trapdoor in the floor. The class, which had been talking cheerily fell silent at once. The abrupt fall in the noise level made Professor Trelawney, who had been wafting about handing out copies of The Dream Oracle, look round.

'Good afternoon, Professor Trelawney,' said Professor Umbridge with her wide smile. 'You received my note, I trust? Giving the time and date of your inspection?'

Professor Trelawney nodded curtly and, looking very disgruntled, turned her back on Professor Umbridge and continued to give out books. Still smiling, Professor Umbridge grasped the back of the nearest armchair and pulled it to the front of the class so that it was a few inches behind Professor Trelawneys seat. She then sat down, took her clipboard from her flowery bag and looked up expectantly, waiting for the class to begin.

Professor Trelawney pulled her shawls tight about her with slightly trembling hands and surveyed the class through her hugely magnifying lenses.

'We shall be continuing our study of prophetic dreams today,' she said in a brave attempt at her usual mystic tones, though her voice shook slightly. 'Divide into pairs, please, and interpret each other's latest night-time visions with the aid of the Oracle.'

She made as though to sweep back to her seat, saw Professor Umbridge sitting right beside it, and immediately veered left towards Parvati and Lavender, who were already deep in discussion about Parvati's most recent dream.

Harry opened his copy of The Dream Oracle, watching Umbridge covertly. She was already making notes on her clipboard. After a few minutes she got to her ieet and began to pace the room in Trelawney's wake, listening to her conversations with students and posing questions here and there. Harry bent his head hurriedly over his book.

Think of a dream, quick,' he told Ron, 'in case the old toad comes our way.'

'I did it last time,' Ron protested, 'it's your turn, you tell me one.'

'Oh, I dunno…' said Harry desperately, who could not remember dreaming anything at all over the last few days. 'Lets say I dreamed I was… drowning Snape in my cauldron. Yeah, that'll do…'

Ron chortled as he opened his Dream Oracle.

'OK, we've got to add your age to the date you had the dream, the number of letters in the subject… would that be “drowning” or “cauldron” or “Snape”?'

'It doesn't matter, pick any of them,' said Harry, chancing a glance behind him. Professor Umbridge was now standing at Professor Trelawneys shoulder making notes while the Divination teacher questioned Neville about his dream diary.

'What night did you dream this again?' Ron said, immersed in calculations.

'I dunno, last night, whenever you like,' Harry told him, trying to listen to what Umbridge was saying to Professor Trelawney. They were only a table away from him and Ron now. Professor Umbridge was making another note on her clipboard and Professor Trelawney was looking extremely put out.

'Now,' said Umbridge, looking up at Trelawney, 'you've been in this post how long, exactly?'

Professor Trelawney scowled at her, arms crossed and shoulders hunched as though wishing to protect herself as much as possible from the indignity of the inspection. After a slight pause in which she seemed to decide that the question was not so offensive that she could reasonably ignore it, she said in a deeply resentful tone, 'Nearly sixteen years.'

'Quite a period,' said Professor Umbridge, making a note on her clipboard. 'So it was Professor Dumbledore who appointed you?'

That's right,' said Professor Trelawney shortly.