Harvest Moon (25 page)

That got me moving. I pulled a clean T-shirt and cargo shorts from my pack. Luckily we’d reached the cabin before the real rain started. I’d had my fill of wearing wet clothes.

Nani fed us a delicious breakfast of banana pancakes with coconut syrup. I’d never been a huge fan of pancakes, but she changed all that with one meal. Kilani and I washed the dishes and made a game plan for our exit the next day. Nani swore she could make an oil that would mask my scent from Damian, but I wouldn’t be able to pick up his scent, either. If the oil was strong enough to cover me, that’s probably all I’d smell, too. Big sticking point for me.

There had to be another way.

I left Kilani and Nani in the cabin to pack her things for the trip to Reno while I surveyed the area for any sign of Damian and his team. Part of me almost hoped I’d find something, since at least then it would be obvious which side of the fence Sebastian was playing right now. The only person I could be sure he looked out for was himself.

After a couple of hours mapping the land around the cabin, I was satisfied we were alone. I also had a much better idea of the terrain. Tonight, when I shifted, I would need to keep from being seen. Challenging task. During the full moon, my wolf relied on instincts. I still had some influence, but the animal was definitely in charge.

The night Malcolm, my previous Alpha, was shot at Lake Tahoe, he lay on the ground bleeding, and I’d forced myself to shift back into my human form. My shock drove the wolf back. I’d never overpowered the animal inside of myself before. It hurt physically and psychologically, but I had done it. And if it came to that tonight, I’d do it again.

Hunger pains reminded me it was past lunchtime, but I wasn’t ready to go back to the cabin yet. Instead, I jogged back to the waterfall. Standing at the edge of the pool, I stared at the fine mist of water hovering around the falls that spilled into the pond. Kilani wanted me to change her. One bite and she’d be a wolf, welcomed into my Pack family as my mate. She’d be mine completely. I should’ve been eager.

But being a werewolf came at a price.

She’d have to live in Reno. The heart of a werewolf’s strength was his or her Pack. Without it, a lone wolf struggled during full moons to keep from being discovered and from surrendering to blood lust. Dead humans risked our secret being revealed to a world that shot first and asked questions later. If the police caught them, humans would find out we existed, so rogue wolves were usually dealt with by nearby Packs.

But that wasn’t what held me back. I closed my eyes, replaying that fateful night in my mind. Me telling Malcolm we needed to get him to the hospital so I could repair the internal bleeding, and him refusing.

Commanding me as my Alpha not to move him. To let him die.

I rubbed my eyes and looked up at the clouds. If Kilani were a werewolf, I’d never be capable of letting her go. I’d risk my Pack, my entire race, and take her to a hospital. Save her. I’d put her life above everyone else’s.

If she remained human, we could still get married, love each other, and live a normal life for the most part. But we wouldn’t be able to have children.

She’d bought a cradle for the baby she never carried to term. My gut clenched. She’d wanted that child.

I stared at my reflection in the pond, the ripples distorting my face. Until this moment, I’d never considered children. I loved Adam’s children, little Malcolm and Madeleine; being their Pack uncle brought me joy and laughter. But a father…

This wasn’t a decision I could make on my own. I needed to talk to Kilani. But if she still chose to be a werewolf…

I’d cross that bridge when I got there.

T
he screen door wailed, announcing my arrival. Kilani came out from the bedroom with a box of pictures. I frowned. “Glad it was me and not Nero coming in?”

“Wow.” She put the box on the counter. “You’re in a great mood.”

“Just worried that you’re forgetting the danger.”

She came closer, chin up, not the least bit intimidated. “Between my visions and my grandmother’s messages from our ancestors, we knew it was you. So what’s the real problem here?”

The urge to punch something simmered in my gut. I took her hand. “We need to talk. Alone.”

Kilani pulled free of my grasp and went into the tiny kitchen area. “I’ll be right back, Grandma Nani.”

She returned to my side and handed me a banana, a short stubby banana.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing’s wrong with it.” She smiled up at me, derailing my frustration. “It’s a Hawaiian banana. We call them apple bananas and they’re delicious.”

“You think a banana is going to mellow me out?” I raised a brow.

“I think you’re hungry, and this will help.”

My stomach growled, outing me. She chuckled and I peeled as Kilani and I walked out of the cabin. I found a big rock for two and we sat overlooking a lush green hillside. I finished the banana and rested my hand over hers.

“I need to talk to you about tonight.”

“Okay.” She glanced up at me. “The full moon.”

I nodded. “You asked me to change you, but I’m not sure it’s the right call. At least, not right now.”

She straightened, pulling her hand away to cross her arms. “You told me it’s forever. Are you second-guessing if you want to be with me?”

“No. Not at all.” I ran my hand up her back, hoping it might coax her to relax, but she remained stiff and stoic. “But we can be together without changing you. We can date, live together, get married… If you become a werewolf, you’ll be tied to Reno, to the Pack, and if anything happens to you medically, you’d have werewolf DNA too, so I wouldn’t be able to take you to the hospital. It would be like my dad and Malcolm all over again. I’m not strong enough for that. I couldn’t sit by and watch you slip through my fingers just to keep our secret from the humans.”

My voice choked, wobbling. I cleared my throat, staring off into the distance. “I’m trying to tell you I’m scared.”

“And you think I’m not?” She slid off the rock and stood in my line of vision, forcing me to meet her eyes. “I told you I loved you, and I meant it. But I will
not
be your handicap. I won’t be locked inside another car again while you fight my battles. And I’ve got news for you—if there’s a medical emergency in the Pack, I’ll be assisting you from now on. You don’t get to carry all the responsibility on your shoulders all alone. Not anymore.”

She paused and stepped closer, taking my hand. “That vision I had hasn’t changed, Jason. Maybe if I’m a werewolf, if my senses are enhanced like yours, we can make the outcome different.” She squeezed my hand. “Please. I can’t lose you, either.”

I stared into her eyes, my heart pounding. If I changed her tonight, there would be no going back. What if the past repeated itself?

It wouldn’t matter if we didn’t try for a future.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I stood and pulled her into my arms, kissing her hair, breathing her in. Gradually I loosened my hold on her and stared down into her eyes. “Wait for me by the waterfall tonight.”

She nodded. “Will I turn into a wolf, too?”

“Not until the next full moon. The bite will hurt, but it’ll heal up pretty fast.” I lifted her hand, my lips caressing her knuckles. “Hold out your hand. The wolf will do the rest.”

N
ani filled us up with Spam and rice as the sun dipped lower into the horizon. The large orange harvest moon would be overhead soon. With the time difference in Hawaii, I figured my brother and the Pack were already howling around Lake Tahoe. Strange to imagine running alone tonight.

“Will the moon child sense the danger of the road? Will he stay back?”

I glanced at Nani. Tomorrow we’d be home in Reno. She would be surrounded by the Pack. Time for a little trust. “I scouted the area today. The wolf should recognize the safe areas. He won’t wander close to the road and humans.”

She collected my plate with a smile. “I never dreamed there would be a wolf on my island.”

“Just for one night.” I stood up and stretched. “Thanks for dinner. I better get outside. Keep the door locked, just in case.”

Nani glanced up from the kitchen sink. “We are protected.”

God, I hope that’s true.

Kilani came to my side. On her tiptoes, she kissed my cheek and whispered, “I’ll see you soon.”

The wolf growled inside of me. With the moon and our mate so close, it was dangerous for me to stay. The last thing I wanted was to shift in Nani’s cabin. I pressed my lips to Kilani’s forehead and smiled down at her. “Stay safe.”

I opened the door and stepped outside. The night was clear and warm, perfect for a run. I jogged to the north, deciding I’d leave my clothes by the waterfall. After the wolf claimed Kilani and bit her, I planned to force him back and shift back so that I could check her wound. After Nadya’s violent reaction when Nero’s mutated wolf bit her, I was a little gun shy. Kilani should be safe, but I wished I could be certain.

At the pool I stripped off my clothes, sweat dripping into my eyes. It was time.

Shifting hurt like being drawn and quartered, maybe worse. Even the movies that portrayed a grisly transformation didn’t scratch the surface of the real thing.

I growled, struggling to keep from screaming as my legs gave out and I fell onto my hands and knees. My back bowed up, cracking and snapping as every vertebra reformed and my tailbone regenerated. The bones in my fingers, all my knuckles, and my feet shattered, rebuilding into paws. I panted, no longer able to speak or cry out; my lips and vocal chords didn’t resemble a human man’s anymore.

Hair pushed through my skin, like thousands of needle pricks all over my body. My jaw elongated, teeth growing and changing form. Inside I fought to slow my breathing, surrendering to the change. Through the haze of agony, I tried to focus on my anatomy, marking what had changed and how much farther I had to go. My ears were the final transformation, stretching and elongating.

And finally I was whole.

The wolf stood, shaking off the dirt from his thick fur. We stretched and bolted into the darkness, free. He chased after a mongoose, riled up some bats, and tracked a deer. Deep within, I encouraged the wolf north. Kilani would be waiting at the waterfall and once the wolf caught our mate’s scent, he wouldn’t give up the trail until we were reunited.

After getting sidetracked by the unfamiliar smell of a wild boar, my wolf finally ran north. We skidded to a stop, sniffing the air. The wolf pricked its ears. The crashing of the waterfall was close. The wind shifted, and we found Kilani’s scent.

The wolf took off in search of our mate, and deep inside I prayed this wasn’t a mistake.

Chapter Twenty-Four

K
ILANI

A
huge red-brown wolf broke through the ferns, surprising me. Survival instincts kicked in, and I stumbled backward, almost tumbling into the water. This was Jason. Had to be. There weren’t wolves on Maui.

I forced my feet to stop, but there was no slowing my pulse. My heart galloped in my chest like a thoroughbred. “Jason?”

The wolf tilted its head, panting. His tongue lolled out, exposing long, sharp teeth. Shit. This was going to hurt. I rolled my eyes. Of course it would. This wolf had fangs long enough to pierce all the way through my hand. Was Jason still conscious inside?

Question I should have asked
before
I begged him to bite me.

“Can I have a minute first?” I knelt down. He was taller than me now, but he didn’t attack. “Would it be okay to touch you?”

I held my breath, grateful he didn’t leap forward and maul me. He came closer until we were nose to nose. My hand trembled as I stroked his neck. His coat was thick and smooth. Up this close, I recognized the bright hazel eyes. Jason’s eyes.

“You’re amazing.”

He licked my cheek, and I laughed, my fear and trepidation fading.

“Gross.” I wiped my face and straightened up a little so I could scoot beside him. “So you’re all right with me petting you?” He rubbed against my legs in answer. I scratched behind his ears and kissed the top of his head. “I’m a little nervous.”

The large wolf laid on his belly next to me. I followed his lead and sat in the dirt too, sliding my hand down his back. His cold nose bumped the fingers of my free hand, and before I could snatch it away, his jaws snapped closed.

I gasped, the jolt of pain stealing my scream. He immediately released me and tenderly licked at the wound, doctoring it. Tears rolled down my face, but I had to laugh.

“Wolf spit isn’t sanitary.”

He chuffed and continued his nursing until the blood was gone. In the bright moonlight, six puncture wounds oozed, but he hadn’t torn my skin. No stitches. The wolf got up and started walking away.

“Stay with me.”

He looked back, whined, and walked behind the trees. I started to get to my feet to follow when wet popping sounds stopped me in my tracks. Bones cracked, joints dislocated, and I plopped back down, wishing the waterfall were loud enough to cover the horror happening a few feet from me.

After what seemed like the longest ten minutes of my life, Jason came and sat beside me. I expected a naked man like the werewolf movies and TV shows, but he had his shorts and T-shirt on. They weren’t even ripped up.

“You’re dressed.”

“I left my clothes here when I shifted earlier.” He took my hand, careful not to touch the bite. “I wanted to be able to help you if things didn’t go according to plan.”

He turned my hand over, examining the other side. The moonlight glinted off the sweat rolling down his face. How difficult had it been for him to shift back so quickly?

I nudged him with my shoulder. “If wolf spit was disinfectant, I’d be in great shape.”

“It’s our saliva that changes your DNA and makes you like us. He was probably just being sure you were ours.” Jason kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry there’s not a better way to do it.”

“I think he was trying to be gentle. He distracted me first.”

Jason lifted my hand into the light again and finally started to smile. “You’re healing.”

“What?” I jerked my hand back, inspecting it. Two of the puncture wounds had already closed and the others were fading. “It’s impossible.”