Harvest of Hearts (6 page)

“Nein. But I have to work tonight until close, so I didn’t have time. I’ll take them there as soon as I can.”

“Work?” A shadow flickered through Daed’s eyes.

“Jah. I got my old job back for the summer.”

“For the summer.” Daed’s chest rose and fell. “So, I take in stray cats and stray Englisch girls for the summer.”

Pain shot through Shanna’s heart as she watched Daed frown and move past her. A stray Englisch girl? Was that all she was to him?

Probably so. She didn’t belong in this world. She didn’t have a family. Not really.

She was just a stray.

***

Matthew couldn’t shake the sense of guilt that haunted him. He stared down at the table he’d been staining, the harsh words he’d spoken to Shanna repeating over and over in his head. He needed to apologize.

He didn’t know how.

In all honesty, “safe driver” was the last term he’d choose to describe Shanna. But maybe he should let it go.

Or maybe he should apologize for hurting her feelings.

Well, he’d wait until he’d finished working on the table.

He couldn’t concentrate. Instead, the flash of pain across her face and the tear trickling down her cheek—both results of his unkind words—replayed in his mind.

With a sigh, Matthew put the brush down and, leaving the can of varnish open, walked out of the shop. He wouldn’t be gone long. Just long enough to apologize and beat a hasty retreat.

After that, he’d stay as far away from that beguiling Englischer as he could.

He didn’t see her outside anywhere. Levi’s wife, Deborah, stood out by the laundry line, folding dry clothes. The two littlest girls were by her side, one taking the clothes down and handing them to her, the other setting them in the basket. Strange that Shanna wasn’t out there with them, visiting.

If one of his older sisters had returned home after a long time away, she’d be with the family, talking up a storm.

With another glance around, Matthew turned to the barn and headed in that direction. A few moments later, he approached the apartment door. Loud music pulsed from behind it. She would never hear him knock over all that noise.

What more could he do except make an effort?

He raised his fist and banged with all the force he could muster.

A few seconds later, he heard the sound of feet pounding down the stairs. The door flew open. Shanna wore different clothes, which looked neither plain nor fashionable Englisch. He realized it must be her McDonald’s uniform. Her hair was wrapped in a blue towel, and she held a tiny brush in her right hand. “Hey. You don’t need to beat the door down. Kum on in.” She turned and dashed back up the stairs, disappearing around the corner.

He couldn’t. Shouldn’t.

The music radio clicked off, and she stuck her head into the stairwell. “Aren’t you coming?”

“Uh, nein. I came to apologize. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She blinked at him. “Ach. I’m so over that. Right now, I’m trying to kum to terms with being called a stray.”

A stray? He didn’t remember calling her that. Matthew scratched his neck.

“Tell you what. If I had anyplace else to go….” She shook her head. “Daed doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want me here. I guess that’s why I’m out in the barn. Out of sight, out of mind, ain’t so? I don’t know why he agreed to let me stay. Maybe because Mamm wanted it.”

Matthew frowned, remembering the expressions that had crossed Levi’s face when he’d found out Shanna had come home. Expressions of joy and hope. And love. “Your daed loves you.”

She glanced down at her feet. “Right. And that’s why he called me a stray.” She heaved a breath, then waved the little brush in his direction. “I need to finish putting my makeup on so I can go to work. Are you coming up?”

He thought she’d been wearing makeup when she’d come home. Why would she wash it off, only to reapply it? Matthew shrugged. “Nein. I need to get back to work.”

“Okay. Don’t worry about it, Matthew. I’m tough. I can handle criticism.”

His brow furrowed. Why did he have trouble believing that? It didn’t matter. He’d done what he’d come to do.

“So, what are you called? Matt? Or just Matthew?”

He backed up a step. “My friends call me Matthew.” Instantly, he regretted his words. But then again, everyone called him Matthew, except for some of the Englisch. Shanna would probably go with Matt.

Her gaze settled on him. “Gut. I prefer Matthew. It’s sexier.”

Matthew’s face heated, and he reached out to grip the doorknob. He needed the support to deal with this forward Englisch girl. She seemed to thrive on shock.

She grinned. “Shut the door on your way out.”

Shanna closed the door of her car and headed for her apartment, swinging the yellow Dollar General bag beside her as she trudged through the weeds behind the barn. Before she rounded the corner, she paused to stretch her aching leg muscles. Still, she was glad for the work. She’d been back in Seymour three days and had worked every one of them. She hadn’t been on the schedule to work today, but she’d had to fill in for somebody who hadn’t shown up this morning. And she was scheduled to work every day next week. Good, because she needed the money.

Except she had yet to take the five kittens to the Humane Society. She needed a day off to take care of that before Daed decided to eliminate them. So far, he had ignored their presence, much as he’d appeared to ignore Shanna’s. She hadn’t seen any members of her family since the day she’d arrived.

Of course, that was partly her fault. When she wasn’t working or spending time in town, she was hiding out in the apartment.

As she came around the corner of the barn, the house came into view, and the aroma of roast beef met her nostrils. Her stomach rumbled in response. Shanna pictured the meal—the gravy Mamm always made to go with it, the warm, flaky crescent rolls—and she made a decision. She was tired of living off of burgers and fries consumed during her breaks or granola bars eaten at home. The apartment didn’t have a kitchen. There wasn’t even a microwave or a mini fridge. But then, Onkel Micah and Aenti Billie usually ate meals with the family when they were in town. She longed for a home-cooked meal. Especially now, with the scent of roast beef along with something sweet, maybe shoofly pie, tantalizing her senses.

How unwelcome would she be made to feel if she ventured up the porch steps and entered through the front door, interrupting the family as they sat down for their evening meal?

Thunder rumbled overhead, drowning out the sound of her growling stomach, though it did nothing to mitigate the ache. She hadn’t eaten fruits or vegetables in ages, filling up instead on hamburgers, fries, and cappuccinos at work. Hardly what one would call a balanced diet. She cringed at her outright disregard of everything she’d learned about nutrition in her nursing classes.

Another rumble of thunder. She looked up at the sky, where ominous-looking storm clouds loomed. A raindrop plopped on her nose. She clutched the yellow plastic bag more tightly in her palm. It held two more boxes of granola bars.

She changed her course in the direction of the house, dreaming of a home-cooked meal instead of the same old granola bars, which didn’t taste remotely similar to the ones Mamm used to make from scratch with marshmallows, oatmeal, chocolate, and other ingredients Shanna couldn’t recall.

Hearing something beside her, she stopped and turned to see who was there. Her gaze met Matthew’s steady gray eyes. She’d forgotten how incredibly gorgeous they were. Her stomach quivered. She couldn’t tell if it felt better or worse than her hunger pangs.

He studied her silently for a moment, then turned and nodded toward the house. “They set a place for you at every meal.”

They did? If that were true, then it would seem her exile had been self-imposed. Shanna’s heart stuttered for a second, and then she remembered Daed’s hard look when he’d caught her with the kittens. He’d called her a stray. If they fed her, it would be a cold meal on the porch, at best; at worst, a warm plate on a card table in another room, to keep up the guise of shunning. She’d rather eat hard boxed granola. “Nein, they don’t.”

One corner of Matthew’s mouth quirked. “You’ll never know unless you swallow your pride and go in there.”

“I can’t.”

He shrugged and started moving toward the house. “You can’t? Or you won’t?”

Thunder rumbled again, and the spotty drizzle turned into a downpour. Matthew’s steps quickened as he hurried toward the porch. Shanna stood in the yard, the rain stinging her cheeks and soaking her clothes, which began to cling to her body. Her hair was probably wet enough to form a lather with shampoo.

When Matthew reached the front door, he paused and looked back at her. Instantly, she felt like a fool for standing in the rain, watching him go. Still, she didn’t move. The empty apartment held no appeal, but she didn’t have the courage to follow him inside.

His gaze mocked her, and his words replayed in her mind: “
They set a place for you at every meal
.”

If only she could believe they wanted her.

“
You’ll never know unless you swallow your pride….
”

She took one step toward the house, then glanced down at her clothes, now soaked through. After she’d kicked off her muddy shoes outside the door, Mamm might greet her with a big, fluffy bath towel and then shoo her upstairs to change into one of her old dresses, all of which probably still hung on hooks in her old bedroom.

Dry and appropriately dressed, she’d go back downstairs to the family meal, looking like an Amish woman but feeling the censure in Daed’s eyes as she pretended to be someone she wasn’t. And what would Matthew think?

It shouldn’t matter. Still, she focused on him, waiting at the door. He made a motion with his hand, inviting her to come.

With a deep breath, she turned and fled inside the barn, to the warm, if lonely, apartment, to eat her bland, prepackaged meal.

***

“There’s a towel on the hutch, if you need it.” Deborah’s words greeted Matthew when he came inside.

“I’m fine.” His shoulders were a little damp, but he’d been under the protection of a big tree, and then the porch, when the downpour had hit.

The kitchen bustled with activity. Deborah stood at the stove mashing some potatoes with butter and milk, while the two little girls set the large farm table: Joy arranged the plates, and Joanna followed close behind with the silverware. A place was set for Shanna, as it had been for every meal since she’d returned home. Too bad she didn’t have the courage to come inside and see for herself.

He shook his head. Too bad Levi didn’t have the courage to face his daughter and invite her to rejoin the family.

Both of them suffered due to a stubborn refusal to take the first step.

For a moment there, he’d thought that Shanna would come. He’d seen her take that step toward the house before she’d hesitated, her lip quivering. He’d almost gone after her when she’d turned and run for the barn, but then he’d stopped himself. She’d have to come on her own, when she was ready.

He hadn’t had any contact with her since the day she’d come home. The day she’d flirted with him so outrageously, telling him she’d call him Matthew, because…. His face heated just thinking of it.

Matthew headed over to the sink, where he soaped up his hands and forearms, then rinsed them off. He was reaching for the towel when he heard a small, timid knock on the door. Deborah turned, the roast platter in her hands. “I wonder who that might be.”

Levi stood up and took the few steps necessary to reach the door. He opened it wide, and Matthew saw Shanna standing there, dripping wet. Everyone froze, even the two little girls. The youngest one, Joanna, dropped the remaining silverware on the wooden table with a loud clatter.

For a long moment, Levi stood in silence. Matthew wished he could see his facial expression. Finally, Levi grunted. “Didn’t think you’d have enough sense to come in out of the rain.”

Hurt flickered across Shanna’s face. Matthew saw the sting of rejection in her eyes. When she backed up a step, Deborah gathered the big, fluffy towel from the hutch, the one she’d offered to Matthew, and rushed to her oldest daughter. She moved so quickly, Matthew hadn’t even seen her set down the platter. Apparently, she wasn’t about to let Shanna leave so easily.