Harvest of the Gods (29 page)

“
Oh she is cruel, that Daenerys,” Blue shivered as he flapped away dramatically.

“
I don't often drink,” Ty intoned as we all groaned, “but when I do, I like to drink the Blood of the Vampire.”

“
But why aren't you wearing a costume?” Ull was talking to someone I couldn't see and then they made their way over and Brahma came into view, dressed in a slick suit and a fedora. I thought maybe he was a mobster like Horus but...

“
I'm a pimp,” he insisted to Ull, who just kept shaking his head.

“
You look like you always do.”

“
No, I don't,” Brahma sighed. “I'm wearing a fedora with a feather in it. A feather! And this isn't just any suit, it's a zoot suit. I'm obviously a pimp.”

“
I don't think pimps are known for wearing zoot suits,” I broke into their argument.

“
Of course they are,” Brahma exclaimed. “Just look at this long watch chain,” he held out the gold chain that went from his belt, looped down to his knee, and then went into his back pocket.
“This is pimp.”

“
Alright, Brahma,” I laughed and turned away only to be confronted with the Headless horseman. “Jesus Christ!” I exclaimed as I backed up.

“
No, I'm Clint Eastwood tonight,” Jesus drawled from the sidelines.

Standing before me was a man draped in a long black cloak, holding a fake head by the hair. Where his head should have been, was only an empty space. I could see a cross-section of his neck and if it was special effects, it was the best I'd ever seen because there were working blood vessels trying to pump blood into the empty air. I eased forward and tried to wave my hand over the neck. It contacted with flesh, a face that felt like it was grinning at me.

“What the hell?” I poked at the face. “Who is this?”

“
It's Teharon,” Karni Mata stepped around him, dressed as Storm from the X-men. She was perfect for it with her white hair and dark skin. I gaped at her a second, her magnificent figure displayed in her spandex suit, then realized what she'd said.

“
Teharon!” I poked him in the chest. “How did you do that?”

“
I made my head invisible,” he said with the tone he used to use with me back when he was teaching me to spirit-walk. Then he laughed and I would have hit him again if I hadn't gotten distracted by Thor arguing with himself.

Of course Thor didn't look like Thor, only Ull looked like Thor. Thor looked like a giant reject from Hogwarts. He had on a short shaggy red wig, a collared shirt with a sweater vest emblazoned with the Hogwarts' crest, a tie in the colors of Gryffindor, and pressed slacks. There was a smattering of freckles painted across his face and he was holding a wand.

“You look ridiculous,” he snapped at Ull.

“
I'm just trying to imitate my Dad,” Ull shrugged. “What little boy doesn't want to grow up to be his father?”

They were gathering a crowd.

“But you don't look like me,” Thor rolled his eyes. “You look like that little human they
tried
to make look like me.”

“
Dad,” Ull laughed, “that guy isn't little.”

“
He's puny,” Thor scoffed, “and he's blonde! I am not blonde.”

“
No,” I interrupted, “you're definitely a redhead. Are you supposed to be Ron Weasley?”

“
Yes exactly, I knew you would get it. I remembered that comment you made to Epona once, about me being Undesirable number one,” Thor beamed at me and then gave me a quick hug, turning his back on Ull completely. “Vervain, I want you to meet Brighid,” he brought forward a small woman in a frizzy brown wig, dressed similarly to him except with a skirt.

“
Don't you mean Hermione?” I laughed and held my hand out to her. “Nice to meet you.”

“
It's a pleasure to meet you too,” she grinned and then she delivered that tragic line. “I've heard so much about you.”

“
Ah, yes,” I grimaced. “Most of it's probably true too, knowing Thor.”

“
Oh, not from him,” she laughed. “He knows better than to talk about an ex with me.”

“
Holy cannolis,” I looked from him to her, “you got him whipped.”

“
I'm not whipped,” he growled at me.

“
Thor,” Azrael came over and gave Thor's shoulder a pat. “Look at yourself, man. You're dressed as Ron Weasley. You're definitely whipped.”

“
Well, at least I'm not dressed as... as...” Thor looked Azrael up and down. “What, by all that's holy, are you supposed to be?”

“
I'll give you a hint,” Azrael beamed and I groaned, knowing Thor wouldn't get it. “Neeeooooowwwwww.”

“
What?” Thor looked at me like I could explain it. So I tried my best.

“
He's a character from a TV show about a bunch of geniuses,” I shrugged. “Sheldon is the ultimate genius and for Halloween he dresses like the Doppler Effect.”

“
The what?” Brighid frowned.

“
Hermione,” I chided, “you should know this. It's the change in frequency of a sound wave when the observer moves in relation to the source or vice versa.”

“
Huh?”

“
Like when you're sitting having lunch and an ambulance goes by,” I lifted my brows at her while Azrael again performed his
Neeeoooowww
. “Yes, thank you, Az, but with an ambulance it's more of a wheeeroo wheeroo wheeroo,” I mimicked the siren wail as it got louder and then faded away. “You know, the wavelength changes by its motion.”

“
Whoa,” Brighid blinked. “There's a name for that?”

“
Not just a name,” I laughed and waved a hand down Azrael's outfit, “there's a physical representation.”

“
That's way too much effort to figure out a costume,” Thor shook his head.

“
Maybe,” Azrael grinned, “but at least I'm not whipped.”

Before Thor could launch himself at Azrael or wave his wand and make himself start vomiting slugs, Ty stepped up.

“I don't often understand Science but when I do, I like to make sound effects with it,” Ty announced before launching into a round of Neeeeooooowwww with Azrael.

Chapter Fifty-Six

“
And now we have a special announcement,” Rain said into his mic. “Please welcome Fallon, also known as the Black Leonidas, and his wife Samantha AKA Queen Gorgo to the stage.”

He stepped back, doing a Peter Pan pose in front of the three Roman soldiers behind him, and Fallon helped Samantha up onto the stage like she was made of glass. I smiled when she shook her head at him and waved his hands away. He took the mic from Rain and offered it to her, very sweet but she waved him off again.

“Hi everyone,” Fallon said, “We are Sparta!” The crowd laughed and he chuckled. “Sorry, had to be done. Okay, real fast, the only reason I'm even allowed to bore all of you with this announcement is that my friends own this place. So bear with me,” then he laughed and glanced at Samantha. “I just recently married the woman of my dreams,” he waved a hand down Samantha's loveliness and everyone cheered. “And now,” he actually had to stop and turn away a moment to collect himself. He swallowed hard and tried again. “And now we're pregnant!”

A wave of sound rolled through the crowd, lions roaring, wolves howling, and everyone else cheering. Fenrir, however, turned to me with a concerned expression on his face.

“It's fine, Dad,” I whispered. “It's going to be a fully Intare baby. I worked some juju on Sam.”

“
You can do that?” He gaped, his huge werewolf jaw hanging open wide enough for his tongue to loll out.

“
Now I can,” I laughed, “and roll up that tongue, would you? You look silly.”

“
So we're going to have a baby?”

“
Yes, we're going to have a baby,” I patted his shaggy arm. “But really Samantha's going to be doing all the work.”

“
We're having a baby!” Fenrir shouted and the Froekn took up another long howl of happiness.

I looked around the club, wondering what the humans thought was going on, but everyone seemed relaxed and happy. Fallon helped Samantha down from the stage and they headed back up to us, stopping often for congratulatory hugs and handshakes.

“Now, before we get to our next song,” Rain was talking again. “I'd like to direct your attention to the gorgeous Tinkerbell on the second floor,” he pointed up at Krystal, who gave him a narrowed-eyed glare. “She's the Tink to my Peter tonight,” he waggled his brows and there were lots of chuckles. “And I'd like to dedicate this next song to her.”

“
Is he seriously using his job to garner points with me?” Krystal turned to give me her unimpressed face.

“
Yep,” I laughed. “Shamelessly. Depending on the song, I predict that you're even going to fall for it.”

“
No fucking way,” she grimaced. “What an asshat.”

“
I dunno,” I heard the music start and had a feeling it was going to be a whammy. It wasn't a sweet slow song. Oh no, it was tribal, pulsing and rising to a thumping beat that vibrated through the club and made my hips start rocking all on their own.

“
Through the trees I see her,” Rain started, low and growling, like he was hunting something and didn't want to scare it. “Light upon her face. The fire rises higher, she laughs at my disgrace.”

I chanced a glance at Krystal, she'd perked up a bit, one
eyebrow raised and body moving slightly with the beat.

“
Spell cast in moonlight, I'm caught once again. Eyes full of darkness, body made of sin. Stir the cauldron, stoke the fire, cast your spell into the wind. But I'll catch you, I'll hold you, and let the screams begin.”

All the women in the audience were already screaming, practically panting and clawing each other to get closer to the stage. Even in that ridiculous costume Rain exuded pure sex appeal, and I wasn't surprised that his love song to Krystal hadn't been about surrender but challenge. The little shit was calling her out. I glanced over again and saw her eyes fixated. Yep, it was working too. Hell, even I had to clear my throat before taunting her.

“Still an asshat?” I asked saucily.

“
Shut up, he's singing,” she shot at me. I laughed and moved away so I wouldn't interrupt her absorption.

“
Oh, she's in trouble,” Azrael sat down with me on a hill.

“
Nah,” I shook my head. “She'll enjoy the song thoroughly I'm sure. Maybe even take him home and give him a nice reward but he's gonna have a big surprise when she kicks him out in the morning.”

“
She kicks her men out in the morning?” Azrael lifted a brow. “Maybe I shouldn't set her up with a friend.”

“
Not like that,” I shrugged. “She's a busy lady, she usually has to go to work in the morning but Rain will take it as an insult and then be even more insulted when she doesn't call him later.”

“
Maybe I should introduce her to Michael,” Azrael grinned. “His arrogance could use a good wallopin'.”

“
Wallopin'?” I chuckled. “I don't think that's a Sheldon word.”

“
He's from Texas, remember? But I don't think Sheldon would be playing matchmaker,” Az shrugged. “He'd probably say something about sexual relationships being barbaric, that sex itself is unsanitary and involves loud unnecessary appeals to a deity.”

“
Now you're sounding like Torrent,” we made wide-eyes at each other and then looked over at Torrent. “Torrent is Sheldon.”

“
Except not so annoying,” Azrael laughed. “And Torrent did say that he actually has an interest in girls. He just doesn't seem to know what to do with them yet.”

“
Well yes, there's that.” I poked at the dragon on my shoulder. “You think Arach would be offended if I wrapped this guy in a baby blanket and handed it to him saying,
Congratulations, Daddy
?”

“
I...” Azrael started laughing. “I think that's probably not the best idea but if you do it, don't you dare tell him that I gave you that.”

“
It's a very cool costume, Az,” I leaned over into him and he slid an arm around my waist. “Thank you.”

“
You're welcome.”

“
I really wanted to be Lara Croft but this is better.”

“
Vervain, you look like Lara Croft every time you put on your fighting gear.”

“
I do?”

“
Well, except you always put your hair up and you never wear guns,” Azrael nodded. “Yeah. Oh and Lara normally wears something a bit more revealing but we can work on that.”

“
Har har,” I poked at him but then Kirill plopped down next to me.

“
Zis is hot,” he said before removing his mask. “I zink I sit here for avile vithout mask.”

“
Okay, Predator,” I tried to pat his thigh but it was encased in armor. “Now you just look like some tribal hunter.”

“
You vant to play game later?” Kirill waggled his brows at me. “Ve could ask Batman to try and save you.”

“
I like how you say
try
,” I laughed and looked over at Az. “You want to join us?”

“
Uh,” he looked supremely Sheldon. “I think I'll pass on the Batman/Predator mash up. Maybe you could come to see me wearing this sometime though,” he fingered my outfit.

“
Hah!” I pointed an accusing finger at him. “I knew it! I knew all angels had a thing for blondes.”

“
Actually, my thing is only for you,” Az grinned.

“
Agh, that was bad,” I sighed.

But the rest of the evening was not. It was wonderful and I enjoyed every second. The Froekn danced, the Intare romanced the ladies, and my friends entertained me with all of their antics while we drank silly drinks and pretended to be something other than ourselves for an evening. I guess even gods long to be something else on occasion.