Hate Me (23 page)

“Has he said anything about it?”

“Not really, but every time someone gets asked, he asks me if I thought the way it happened was cool.”

“What do you want him to do?”

“Just something that shows he put some thought into it.” She lies down. “I’m going to take a nap. Oh, and if I'm not home in the morning, I'll be at Bryce’s.”

“Sounds good.”

I'm brushing my teeth when my phone rings with a call from B.
 

“Hey! Happy birthday!”

“Thanks,” he says. “And thanks for the presents. The skateboard is wicked sweet.”

He's saying the right things, but there's something in his voice. Something’s off.

“What's wrong, B?”

“There was something weird delivered today. Before I opened it, I thought it was from you.”

“What was it? Was it from Vincent?”

“A Malibu Ken doll. It had a noose around its neck like it had been hanged.”

“That doesn't seem like something Vincent would send.”

“I don't think it was. I'm neck and neck with a real asshole in this weekend’s competition. We have a saying, like when we screw up, that we hung ourselves. I think maybe he's trying to psyche me out. I'm getting ready to go out there. Look, I'm sorry I couldn't help you on the takeover. Um, and, well, there's something else.”

“What?”

“I’m pretty sure I'm being followed.”

“Did you tell Garrett?”

“Well, the security dudes. They've seen him too. It's just all messing with my head.”

“B,” I say softly, “do you remember when we were in Biarritz? When those local guys were giving you shit about how big the waves were? Do you remember what you told me before you went out there?”
 

“That I'd find control in the chaos.”

“Exactly. The waves were crashing. The guys were saying you couldn't do it. But you went out there and found a wave you could control. That's what you need to do today.”

“Keats, you inspire me in a way no one else can.”

“You know in your heart that you can do it. Sometimes you just need to hear someone say it.”

I hear his name announced over a loudspeaker.

“I’m up.”

I hear him mutter, “Control in the chaos,” before he hangs up.

I get into bed, grabbing my laptop and plugging in my headphones so I don’t wake Katie, and do something I've yet to do.
 

I log into the live feed of the surf tournament and watch.
 

The swells are huge. The sky looks dark, like it could storm.
 

The announcer is loud. I turn the volume off, watch B paddle out, and quickly pop up on his board.
 

The wave he chose loves him.
 

He moves like he's part of a symphony of water, waves, and wind.

He shreds the wave. Owning it. Flipping in the air.
 

I can't even believe how much he's improved.
 

He comes out of the water with a huge grin, looking like the Brooklyn I loved for so long.
 

He gets a great score from the judges and throws his fist into the air.
 

Then a skinny, leggy blonde excitedly hugs him.
 

I didn't realize while I was watching him that tears were falling down my face.
 

And in this moment, I finally get the quote,
A thing of beauty is a joy forever
.
 

What B just did—minus the blonde—was truly a thing of beauty.
 

I send him a text.
 

Me:
 
For the first time, I allowed myself watch you surf. You were amazing, B. I've never seen you do some of the things you did. Congrats. And I wish I was there to share some cake with you.
 

Control in the chaos.

1:30am

Katie leaves for Bryce's and ten minutes later I meet Riley, Dallas, and Aiden, who are leading Logan and Maggie up the hill. When we get near the chapel, they put pillowcases over Logan and Maggie’s heads and lead them the rest of the way.
 

We get them centered in the middle of the party room, and Dallas turns off the light.
 

“Take off your hoods, oh, chosen ones,” he says.

Riley continues. “What you are about to see will blow your mind. You must take an oath right now. Maggie, do you promise under penalty of death—”

“Death?” I say, amused.
 

“Fine,” Riley says. “Under penalty of losing all your friends and this amazing place, do you promise not to tell anyone what you've seen here tonight?”

“I promise,” she says.

After Logan offers his promise as well, Dallas flicks on the light.
 

“Holy shit! Where are we?” they ask.

“We’re on campus in a secure location.”

“This is amazing!” Logan says, running around the room like we did the first time we saw it.
 

Aiden shows them the founders’ poem.

“Alright, people, it's time for a toast,” Aiden says. He pours us each a beer from the keg and we raise them together. “To Stockton’s. Where membership has its privileges.”

“Hear, hear,” we all say.

“Aiden, I challenge you to a game of beer pong,” Riley says.
 

While I'm watching Aiden and Riley compete for the title of beer pong champion, Dallas says, “I think it's time to sample the herb.”

Aiden lets out a big whoop as he sinks a ping-pong ball in his last remaining cup of beer.
 

I cheer for him, then look down at my phone, which just buzzed.

B:
 
Remember the cake on your birthday?
 

Aiden excitedly plops down next to me and sees my phone.
 

“Shark told me it's the Keats guy’s birthday today, too.”
 

“Yeah. I sent him some presents,” I say, looking down.

Aiden pushes my chin up. “You don't have to feel bad. I understand he's part of your life.”

“I don't want to ruin your birthday.”

“Trust me, I'd rather you tell me about it than use my imagination.”

“What would your imagination create?”
 

“The worse possible scenario.”

I look into his eyes questioningly.

“You in bed with him,” he says, the green of his eyes darkening.
 

“I watched a live feed of him surfing tonight. I haven't let myself do that before.”

“Why?”

I shake my head. “I’m not sure. Too hard, I guess.”

“You miss him.”

“We talked almost every day for two years, then, all at once, nothing.”

“How did he do?”
 

“He was amazing. Way better than before. He won his round.” I bite the edge of my lip and tap my foot.
 

Aiden puts his hand on my knee. “What else?”

“There was a girl. She ran out of the crowd and hugged him.”
 

“Did that bother you?”
 

“It’s weird. If I had a normal life then that girl would’ve been me.”

Aiden nods, and I can tell the idea upsets him.
 

So I tell him the rest. “But if I had a normal life, I never would’ve met you. Which makes me glad my life isn’t normal.”

Aiden is my control in the chaos, I realize.
 

He kisses me just like he did the very first time we kissed. When a simple kiss evoked visions of fairies and happily-ever-afters.
 

Now it invokes even more.
 

A deep-seated feeling that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
 

Dallas plops down in a beanbag next to us. “You two are having entirely too serious of a conversation for this room.”

He takes a hit and passes Aiden the joint. Aiden takes a few puffs and passes it to me as everyone else joins us on the beanbags.
 

“This is way better than the Cave,” Logan says happily.

“And a lot warmer,” Maggie agrees, sliding onto a beanbag next to him.

I get up and change the music from a dance playlist to one with a slower vibe.
 
 

“Much better,” Dallas says, chilling.

While I'm up, I look at the map of exits curiously, and text Cam.

Me:
 
The party gods are bowing down to your greatness. But a question. We came out in Hawthorne. Any chance there's one I missed that would go to my dorm?
 

Cam:
 
The founders lived in the Hawthorne and Pennington dorms. They have a long history of fraternization. To answer your question, of course. You know the part at the end where you made the sharp right?
 

Me: Yes.
 

Cam:
 
Go left through a door. You'll end up in the basement laundry room.
 

Me: Awesomeness. You're like our spiritual party guide.

Cam:
 
You never know what you’ll find there :) Have fun.

I start to sit on my beanbag, but Aiden grabs my waist and pulls me down on top of him instead.
 

“We need to plan a killer party here,” Dallas says.

“I don't know,” Riley counters. “I think we should keep it our little secret.”
 

Aiden says, “I think we should have some parties, but not huge. Maybe twenty or so people, like at the dorm.”

Dallas gazes at the twinkle lights like they hold the answers to the mysteries of the universe.
 

“Where do you think all this stuff comes from,” Maggie wonders, staring up at the lights too.
 

“Yeah,” Logan agrees. “How did all this stuff get here?”
 

“House elves,” I say very seriously, and everyone cracks up. “What? I'm serious.” Aiden is chuckling in my ear. “So, Aiden, do you have a better explanation?”

He shakes his head as Logan says, “My guess is alumni.”

Dallas passes Logan a joint. “Clearly, you are only half baked. House elves for the win. And I hope they brought food.”

Dallas and I jump up. He starts pulling chips and popcorn out of the cabinets.
 

When I open one of the fridges, I find a triple layer chocolate cake. The same kind Aiden brought me as a peace offering. It's even got candles in it.
 

I pull it out carefully and set it on the counter. “Um, guys, I think this proves that there are indeed house elves. It’s a birthday cake for Aiden.”

“How do you know it's for Aiden,” Logan, the smart ass, asks.
 

“Maybe because it says
Happy Birthday, Aiden
on top?”
 

Everyone jumps up to see the cake.
 

Dallas squints his bloodshot eyes at the cake and then looks at me and says seriously, “House elves.”

Maggie lights the candles.
 

We sing “Happy Birthday
”
to Aiden, chow down on cake, and throw ourselves back on the beanbags.
 

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4TH

I want to show her.

8am

“Uh, guys, it’s, like, morning.”

Logan is the first to wake up, stretching his arms above his head.
 

“Logan, don’t you have wrestling workouts this morning?”

He jumps up quickly. “Shit. What time is it?”

“A little after eight.”

“Fuck, why did I eat all that cake?” He's freaking out. “How do I get out of here?”

I lead him to the door that will take him to the woods not far from his dorm. I'm not sure his popping out of a hidden door in the basement on a day most kids do their laundry is a good idea.
 

“Get Maggie up. She’s supposed to sing in the choir this morning.”

I walk by Riley, messing up his hair, but he just rolls over and snuggles back into the beanbag.
 

I give the bottom of his shoe a little kick. “Rise and shine, lover boy. Ariela’s going to be wondering where you are.”

He sits up and appears startled to find himself still here.
 

“Where's my phone?”

“I don’t know. Your pocket?”

He shoves his hands into his pockets and comes up empty.
 

I look on the bar counter.
 

“Jacket,” he says, running over to check it.