Authors: Dorothy L. Sayers
SMFA. TCMXS, KPVN, PT! UDR. It doesn’t matter. The man who gets it
wil ignore al that. He wil simply break it up into pairs of letters again and read
it with the help of the code diagram. Taking the diagonals as before, and the
next letter
above
, where they come on the same vertical line, and the next to
the
left
where they come on the same horizontal.’
The two policemen pored over the diagram. Then Umpelty said:
‘I see, my lord. It’s very ingenious. You can’t guess it by way of the most
frequent letter, because you get a different letter for it each time, according as
it’s grouped to the next letter. And you can’t guess individual words, because
you don’t know where the words begin and end. Is it at al possible to decode
it without the key-word?’
‘Oh dear, yes,’ said Wimsey. ‘Any code ever coded can be decoded with
pains and patience – except possibly some of the book codes. I know a man
who spent years doing nothing else. The code diagram got so bitten into him
that when he caught measles he came out in checks instead of spots.’
‘Then he could decode this,’ said Glaisher, eagerly.
‘On his head. We’l send him a copy if you like. I don’t know where he is,
but I know those that do. Shal I bung it off? It would save us a lot of time.’
‘I wish you would, my lord.’
Wimsey took a copy of the letter, pushed it into an envelope and enclosed a
brief note.
‘Dear Clumps, – Here’s a cipher message. Probably Playfair, but old Bungo will
know. Can you push it off to him and say I’d be grateful for a construe? Said to hail
from Central Europe, but ten to one it’s in English. How goes?
‘Yours,
‘Wimbles.’
‘Seen anything of Trotters lately?’
He addressed the envelope to an official at the Foreign Office, and picked
up another copy of the cipher.
‘I’l take this if I may. We’l try it out with some of Alexis’ selected words.
It’l be a nice job for Miss Vane, and a healthy change from crosswords. Now,
what’s the next item?’
‘Nothing very much yet, my lord. We haven’t found anybody who saw
Perkins pass through Darley at any time, but we’ve found the chemist who
served him in Wilvercombe. He says Perkins was there at eleven o’clock,
which gives him ample time to be at Darley by 1.15. And Perkins has had a
bad relapse and can’t be interrogated. And we’ve seen Newcombe, the
farmer, who corroborates finding the mare wandering on the shore on Friday
morning. He says, too, that she was in the field O.K. when his man was down
there on the Wednesday, and that he is quite sure she couldn’t have got through
the gap in the hedge by herself. But then, naturaly, nobody ever believes his
own neglect is to blame for anything.’
‘Naturaly not. I think I’l run over and see Farmer Newcombe. In the
meantime, Miss Vane is going to do her damnedest with the cipher – trying out
al the marked words on it. Aren’t you?’
‘If you like.’
‘Noble woman! It would be fun if we got ahead of the official interpreter. I
suppose the Weldons show no signs of moving.’
‘Not the slightest. But I haven’t seen much of them since the funeral. Henry
seems a bit stand-offish – can’t get over the snake episode, I suppose. And his
mother –’
‘Wel?’
‘Oh, nothing. But she seems to be trying to get fresh information out of
Antoine.’
‘Indeed?’
‘Yes. Antoine is being very sympathetic.’
‘Good luck to him. Wel, cheerio!’
Wimsey drove over to Darley, interviewed the farmer and asked for the loan of
the bay mare and a bridle. Mr Newcombe not only granted the loan most
cordialy, but expressed his intention of accompanying Wimsey to watch the
experiment. Wimsey was at first not best pleased; it is perhaps easier to walop
another man’s horse over a four-mile course if the owner is not looking on. On
reflection, however, he thought he saw a use to which he could put Mr
Newcombe. He asked that gentleman to be good enough to precede him to the
Flat Iron, and make a note of the exact moment at which he himself should
come into view, and thence time his progress. The farmer, surmising with a
wink that the loosing of the mare and the tragedy at the Flat-Iron had some
connection with one another, readily agreed, and, himself mounting a sturdy
white nag, took his departure along the shore, while Wimsey, glancing at his
watch, set out in pursuit of the bay mare.
She came up to be caught with remarkable readiness, no doubt connecting
Wimsey in her simple equine mind with oats. The gap in the hedge had been
opened again, by permission, and Wimsey, having bridled her, rode her through
it and stirred her up to a canter.
The mare, though wiling enough, had, as he expected, no exceptional turn of
speed, and since their progress had to be made actualy through the water, it
was a trifle impeded and remarkably noisy. As he rode, Wimsey kept his eye
on the cliffs above. Nobody and nothing was in sight, with the exception of a
few grazing animals. The road was hidden. He made good time to the cottages,
and then began to look about for Ormond’s break in the cliff. He recognised it
when he came to it by the falen rocks and the fragments of broken fence
above, and looked at his watch. He was a little ahead of time. Glancing along
the shore, he saw the Flat-Iron wel in view, with Farmer Newcombe seated
upon it, a little dark lump at a mile’s distance. He left the break in the cliff to be
explored on the return journey, and urged the mare to her best pace. She
responded vigorously, and they made the final mile in fine style, the water
spraying about them. Wimsey could see the farmer clearly now; he had the
white horse tethered to the famous ring-bolt and was standing on the rock,
watch conscientiously in hand, to time them.
It was not til they were within a few score paces of the rock that the bay
mare seemed to realise what was happening. Then she started as if she had
been shot, flung up her head and slewed round so violently that Wimsey, jerked
nearly on to her neck by the plunge, was within an ace of being spun off
altogether. He dug his knees into her bare sides and hauled hard upon the
bridle, but, like many farm nags, she had a mouth of iron, and the snaffle made
little impression upon her. She was off, tearing back in her tracks as if the devil
was after her. Wimsey, cynicaly teling himself that he had under-estimated her
power of speed, clung grimly to her withers and concentrated on shortening his
left-hand rein so as to wrench her head round to the sea. Presently, finding it
hard to go forward against this determined drag, she slacked pace, skirmishing
sideways.
‘Bless and save you, my girl,’ said Wimsey, mildly, ‘what’s the matter with
you?’
The mare panted and shuddered.
‘But this’l never do,’ said Wimsey. He stroked her sweaty shoulder
reassuringly. ‘Nobody’s going to hurt you, you know.’
She stood quietly enough, but shook as she stood.
‘There, there,’ said Wimsey.
He turned her head once more in the direction of the Flat-Iron, and was
aware of the hurried approach of Mr Newcombe on the white horse.
‘Lord a’mighty,’ exclaimed Mr Newcombe, ‘what’s come to the mare? I
thought she’d have you off surely. Done a bit of riding, ain’t you?’
‘Something must have frightened her,’ said Wimsey. ‘Has she ever been
there before?’
‘Not as I know on,’ said the farmer.
‘You weren’t waving your arms or anything, were you?’
‘Not I. I was looking at my watch – and there! Dang me if I haven’t clean
forgot what time I made it. I was fair mazed with her taking fright so al of a
sudden.’
‘Is she given to shying?’
‘Never known her take and do such a thing before.’
‘Queer,’ said Wimsey. ‘I’l try her again. Keep behind us, and we’l know it
wasn’t you that startled her.’
He urged the mare back towards the rock at a gentle trot. She moved
forward uneasily, chucking her head about. Then, as before, she stopped dead
and stood trembling.
They tried her half-a-dozen times, cajoling and encouraging her, but to no
purpose. She would not go near the Flat-Iron – not even when Wimsey
dismounted and led her step by step. She flatly refused to budge, standing with
her shaking legs rooted to the sand, and roling white and terrified eyes. Out of
sheer mercy for her they had to give up the attempt.
‘I’l be damned,’ said Mr Newcombe.
‘And so wil I,’ said Wimsey.
‘What can have come over her –’ said Mr Newcombe.
‘I know what’s come over her al right,’ said Wimsey, ‘but – Wel, never
mind, we’d better go back.’
They rode slowly homeward. Wimsey did not stay to examine the break in
the cliff. He did not need to. He knew now exactly what had happened
between Darley and the Flat-Iron Rock. As he went, he put the whole
elaborate structure of his theories together, line by line, and like Euclid, wrote at
the bottom of it:
WHICH IS IMPOSSIBLE
In the meantime, Constable Ormond was also feeling a little blue. He had
suddenly bethought him of the one person in Darley who was likely to have
kept tabs on Mr Perkins. This was old Gaffer Gander who, every day, rain or
shine, sat on the seat of the little shelter built about the vilage oak in the centre
of the green. He had unaccountably overlooked Gaffer Gander the previous
day, owing to the fact that – by a most unusual accident – the Gaffer had not
been in his accustomed seat when Ormond was making his inquiries. It turned
out that Mr Gander had actualy been in Wilvercombe, celebrating his youngest
grandson’s wedding to a young woman of that town, but now he was back
again and ready to be interviewed. The old gentleman was in high spirits. He
was eighty-five come Martinmas, hale and hearty, and boasted that, though he
might perhaps be a trifle hard of hearing, his eyes, thank God, were as good as
ever they were.
Why, yes, he remembered Thursday, 18th. Day as the poor young man was
found dead at the Flat-Iron. A beautiful day, surely, only a bit blowy towards
evening. He always notices any strangers that came through. He remembered
seeing a big open car come past at ten o’clock. A red one it was, and he even
knew the number of it, because his great-grandson, little Johnnie – ah! and a
bright lad he was – had noticed what a funny number it was. OI 0101 – just
like you might be saying Oy, oy, oy. Mr Gander could cal to mind the day
when there wasn’t none o’ them things about, and folks was none the worse for
it, so far as he could see. Not that Mr Gander was agin’ progress. He’d always
voted Radical in his young days, but these here Socialists was going too far, he
reckoned. Too free with other folks’ money, that’s what they were. It was Mr
Lloyd George as give him the Old Age Pension, which was only right, seeing he
had worked hard al his life, but he didn’t hold with no dole for boys of
eighteen. When Mr Gander was eighteen, he was up at four o’clock every
morning and on the land til sunset and after for five shilings a week and it
hadn’t done him no harm as he could see. Married at nineteen he was, and ten
children, seven of them stil alive and hearty. Why, yes, the car had come back
at one o’clock. Mr Gander had just come out from the Feathers after having a
pint to his dinner, and he see the car stop and the gentleman as was camping in
the lane get out of it. There was a lady in the car, very finely rigged out, but
mutton dressed as lamb in Gaffer’s opinion. In his day, women weren’t
ashamed of their age. Not that he minded a female making the best of herself,
he was al for progress, but he thought they were going a bit too far nowadays.
Mr Martin, that was the gentleman’s name, had said good morning to him and
gone into the Feathers, and the car had taken the Heathbury road. Why, yes,
he’d seen Mr Martin leave. Half-past one it were by the church clock. A good
clock, that was. Vicar, he’d had it put in order at his own expense two years
ago and when they turned the wireless on, you might hear Big Ben and the
church clock striking together quite beautiful. There hadn’t been no wireless in
Mr Gander’s day, but he thought it was a great thing and a fine bit of progress.
His grandson Wily, the one that was married on a woman over to Taunton, had
give him a beautiful set. It was that loud, he could hear it beautiful, even though
his hearing was getting a little hard. He’d heard tel as they were going to show
you pictures by wireless soon, and he hoped the Lord might spare him long
enough to see it. He hadn’t nothing against wireless, though some people
thought it was going a bit far to have the Sunday services laid on like gas, as