Have I Told You (11 page)

“How is this okay? How do you justify spying and collecting data on someone, without their knowing, as okay? Do you not see just how fucked up that is?”

I could tell my words stung him. Good. They should. I wasn’t a piece of meat. His grip loosened on me, and I scrambled to stand up, leaving him kneeling on the ground staring at his hands in his lap. I stood and towered over him. “Everything you’ve said to me has been a lie. Why?”

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. “Sabrina, please let me explain. No, I haven’t told you the whole truth, but, please, let me explain.”

I stepped away from him, shaking my head. “I think I want Terrance to take me to the hotel, now.”

Caston’s head whipped up when I asked to leave. His eyes pleading with me to stay and let him explain. My heart was breaking, but also melting, as I looked at him. “Please stay, Sabrina.”

I suddenly froze. I had nowhere to go. A sob escaped me again.

I leaned on the edge of a work table trying to regain my senses. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, my heart was telling me to rush back into his arms. Steeling myself to his answer I asked, “Were you at the party stalking me?” I prayed he wouldn’t say yes. I wouldn’t be able to live with that. I wasn’t sure I could forgive him now, I couldn’t forgive him if it is true.

“No, Sabrina, I was not there to stalk you. Actually, I was shocked to see you there. I could not believe you were standing in front of me when I turned around. Then when you needed my help I could not help but rescue you. I felt you were a sign from God telling me you were the one. You are my other half. Why else would things fall into place the way they have?”

I wrapped my arms around my body. Tears were running down my cheeks. I shook my head. “I don’t care. You betrayed me. I want to leave. I need to leave now.” I walked over to the door. Thankfully, Terrance was standing on the outside of the door guarding it.

“I’d like to leave now, Terrance. Please, take me to Beth’s house. I’ll give you the address.”

“Very well, Ms. Bennett.”

I took one step out the door before I stopped and looked back over my shoulder. Caston was still on his knees with his head in his hands. I could tell he was crying. I wanted to run back to him and wrap myself in his arms.

Pausing, I tried to decide what the right decision was. No, I had to do this. I couldn’t let another man hold me under his spell and manipulate me like Mark had. I straightened my back and turned around to leave him.

I followed Terrance back through the hallway and out into the garage that we had entered through. I crawled into the back of the Jeep and tried not to look back at the doorway. Telling Terrance where to go was so hard. I hoped Beth was home. I wanted to go to her apartment, instead of a hotel. Tears were still running down my cheeks, as I felt the car start to move. Looking back over to the door I saw Caston standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. I put my hand to the glass as if to touch him one last time. I left it there as we headed back out to the daylight. Out of Caston’s life forever.

The ride to Beth’s was long, even though, it was only a short distance away. I wanted to be anywhere else, but in the situation I was in. What was I going to do now? Spring break would be starting, and I had no one to be with and no place to go.

Terrance pulled up in front of a small apartment complex. My heart was breaking as I thought over all that has happened to me in the last few days. Had a boyfriend, lost a boyfriend, found a lover, lost a lover. What a mess. Now I only had Beth, if she would take me in. Looking up at the building in front of me I moved to step out of the car when Terrance appeared at the door.

“Sabrina, may I walk you up to your friend’s door?”

“No, thank you, Terrance. I will be okay. Was that Caston you were on the phone with on the way over?” I knew I shouldn’t ask questions I didn’t want answers to, but I was just gluten for punishment, I guess.

“Yes, Ms. Bennett.”

That was all he said to me. He handed me a bag that was worth more than the clothes I was wearing. I looked at him with a question showing on my face. “What’s this?”

“Mr. Black made sure you had the things you needed in case this very thing transpired. He asked me to give them to you.”

“Well, I can’t accept these.” I tried to hand the bag back to him, but his face told me if he was to come back with the bag he would be in trouble, so I pulled the bag to my chest to show him I was folding on this fight. His look of relief made me smile, just a bit.

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Ms. Bennett, before I leave?” I just shook my head to answer his question. “Very well. It was very nice to meet you Sabrina, and I do hope we cross paths again soon.”

I smiled, weakly, at him. I would like to know all he has seen coming in and out of Caston’s life. I bet he could write a book. I just added myself to that list and a new tear fell from my eye. I had to get inside before I lost it completely. “I’ll miss you, Terrance.”

I walked around him and ran up to Beth’s door. Pounding on it, I prayed she was home. No one was answering, but I thought I heard noises coming from the inside, so I pounded again. “I’m coming, I’m coming. Don’t get your panties in a twist.” I heard Beth yell from inside. I looked back over my shoulder, Terrance was still standing by the Jeep, even though I told him to leave. I’m sure that was Caston’s order, as well. I gave him a wave, and turned back around just as the door opened in front of me.

Beth’s face was shocked to see me, but her smile quickly faded when she looked in my eyes. Quickly ushering me into the room before I broke down on her doorstep, she started the interrogations, “Bre, what’s wrong? Oh my God, please tell me he didn’t hurt you, again. Oh dear lord, honey.”

I shook my head and sobbed, not able to talk to her at all. I struggled with Beth as she tried to remove the bag clutched to my chest. I slouched over it, smelling Caston. This only made me cry harder than I ever thought was possible. Beth being the friend that she always was just sat me down, helped me remove my shoes, and stroked my back and hair. She pulled me down over her lap and held me. “Well, I’m just glad you aren’t with Mark anymore. I hate you’re hurting, though.” I drifted off to sleep on Beth’s lap. I was so emotionally drained, I’m not sure how long I was out. Thankfully I didn’t dream of Caston, or Mark.

When I started to wake up, I was sore from sleeping on the lumpy couch. I decided to lay still for a few more minutes. I heard Beth whispering into her phone. I struggled to hear her, while I remained still, so she wouldn’t see I was awake and end her call.

“No, she is still asleep … I don’t think you should come over today … God, I’ve never seen her like this before, Broc. I’ve seen her messed up from Mark, but this is worse … No, I don’t think it is a good idea for Mark to come over to see her … Because he’s an asshole that’s why … I don’t care if he’s your friend or not … Broc, are you serious right now? … No I’m not joking. … He’s a manipulative, abusive asshole. I can’t believe you are defending him. … I think we need a break. We obviously don’t agree on this. You need to figure out your priorities. I’m done.”

I closed my eyes to pretend I was still sleeping, so she wouldn’t know I was listening to her. She slammed the phone down on the table, and I heard her walk toward the kitchen. I waited until she was out of the room before I sat up. My bag was gone. What happened to it? I started frantically looking for it. I was almost flipping the couch over when Beth ran out because she heard the commotion. “Where is it?” I screamed.

Shock flashed across Beth’s face. She has never seen me like this before. “What? Sabrina what the fuck!”

“My bag, Beth. Where the hell did you put it? I need it!”

“Oh my God, Sabrina, chill the fuck out! It’s in the spare room. What are you on? You have NEVER acted so crazy before!”

I sat on the edge of the couch and ran my hands through my hair. I was breathing so hard I was afraid I was going to pass out. What is wrong with me? “I just need the bag. Hell, I don’t even know what’s in it.”

“Seriously? You almost tore my living room apart for a bag that you know nothing about! You’re in need of mental help.” She laughed, and sat down next to me. She flung her arm over my back squeezing me to her side. I gave her a sideways glare. “Look, I’ll go get the bag, and we can go through it, okay? Are you sure you aren’t on anything? I won’t be mad if you are, just tell me.”

“No, Beth, I’m not on anything. I feel like hell and my heart has been ripped out. My life is flipped upside down, and I’m not sure what I’m going to do, or where I’m going to live. I’m sure I’m kicked out of school, since I haven’t gone in over a week.” I hung my head again and busted into more tears. How could I have any left?

“Honey, you can stay here as long as you want. You don’t even have to pay me rent. You know that. I’ve told you this before.” She hugged me, and popped up to go down the hall to retrieve my bag.

Breathe, Sabrina. I’m sure it is just clothes in the bag. You are a strong women and you will find a way to move on.

Beth came back holding onto the large coach bag. She set it on the table in front of the couch, then sat down next to me. We both stared at it like it was going to move on its own. I’m not sure how long I sat there. Finally, Beth broke the silence, “Well, are you going to open it or do you want me too?”

I looked at her and took a deep breath. Leaning over I unzipped the bag and spread it open. It looked to be clothes in the bag. My heart was beating out of my chest, as I started to pull things out. These were all new clothes. There was nothing in here that was mine. Beth’s mouth was agape, watching as I removed one expensive thing after another. Trying to lighten the mood she quickly said, “Well, if you need any money you could always sell these clothes. They’d bring in a pretty penny.” My eyes started to water again and she continued on. “Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I was just trying to lighten the mood. Please, don’t cry.” I straightened my back and shook my head to clear my tears away. When did he have a chance to pack this, or buy all these new clothes? Coming to the bottom of the bag I was in shock, the iPad was in there. My mouth fell open, and Beth spoke the words that I couldn’t. “Holy shit, he gave you an iPad.”

I knew this was the one I’d used when I was at his house. Without a word I got up, leaving Beth with unanswered questions, and walked to the spare room that I would be staying in. My heart was beating a million miles a minute, as I turned it on, and sat on the bed. Why was I so nervous? The telltale email arrival tone rang out. My heart was beating fast, and my hand trembled as I clicked mail icon. The top email was from him, Mr. Caston Black. I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes. How had he gotten under my skin so fast? I clicked the email.

To: Sabrina Bennett

Date: April 25, 2012

From: Caston Black

Subject: Please

Sabrina

As I watched you leave today I was at a loss for words. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I have fallen for you, Bre. Hard. I need you back in my life. My employees thought I was insane when I went into that room and started ripping pictures off the wall and tearing them up. I want you, and if you are not okay with being in my magazine, I am okay with that. I need you. Please, let me make this up to you. Please, let me try. I am not even sure where to start. I should have told you right away who I was and that I knew who you were. I never intended to meet you the way I did. It was supposed to happen 3 weeks from now, after my company sent you a formal letter asking for a meeting. I have never fallen so completely for anyone. You are special Sabrina. You are my other half. Please, give me a chance. It kills me that I no longer have your trust. I will spend my life making it up to you. I will give you all the time you need. Please, know you can ask me for anything, anytime.

I love you, Sabrina.

Caston

To: Caston Black

Date: April 25, 2012

From: Sabrina Bennett

Subject: re: Please

Caston

Please? Please, my ass. I trusted you. You knew everything about me already. What was the point? I still don’t see how you justify spying on people as okay. I don’t know if I can ever forgive you, or trust you again. I need time. Lots of time. Please, don’t email me again. I will be returning all of the items to you. Please, send Terrance to pick them up. I don’t want them.

Sabrina

I quickly hit send before I could rethink what I wrote. No sooner did the email disappear panic washed over me. How could I have actually sent him such a nasty email? I really wanted to take him in my arms and tell him I would forgive him and that all would be okay.

A light knock on my door pulled me out of my trance. Beth peeked in and saw my face. “What’s wrong, Bre?”

“He sent me an email begging me to give him another chance. I replied to his email basically telling him to fuck off. What did I do?”

She crouched down next to me and pulled me into a hug. “Everything will be okay. You’ll get another billionaire soon.”

I hit her on the back. “Not funny, Beth,” I said, with a slight giggle.

“Got you to smile and laugh, though. Didn’t I? Let’s get some ice cream, sit with the tub between us, and wallow over guys and how crappy they are.”

I wiped at my eyes and nodded. I set the iPad down on the bed, and walked out of the room with Beth’s arm around me.

“Looks like we both have guys to wallow over, huh?”

She looks at me surprised.

“I wasn’t really asleep. Sorry for eavesdropping.”

Wrapping her arms around me she squeezed me hard.

“Men just suck. Let’s go get that ice cream.”