Haven (25 page)

“I don’t know, but I’m not going to wait to find out,” I said sliding off the pad. Though my heart was slowing its pounding against my ribcage, it leapt a little when the thought of my destination came into mind.

Without me saying a word, Harrison knew instantly where I was headed.

“You’re not going alone,” he said, standing to escort me.

I was pleasantly surprised. “You’re not afraid of turning?” I asked.

“If I do,” he said with bitter sincerity, “you and your rifle will be there to take care of it.”

Leaving the gym, we walked without speaking so we didn’t alert anyone to Harrison’s “escape”. We did the same in the kitchen and at the back door, where we paused to make sure there was no sound of disruption on the other side. When we opened it, the Infected just outside the gate stirred and approached the bars. In the moonlight, their faces and bodies almost seemed to be coated in silver, making them even more disturbing. Intentionally ignoring this fact, I found the pipe I’d seen in my nightmare, which seemed to be waiting neatly for me on the side of the maintenance building, and slid it into a dumpster. Once done, the car that Beverly’s dad had plowed into the fence should have drawn my interest, but it was the gate that I’d seen opening in my nightmare that consumed it. My heartbeat quickened as I realized that it could very well be unlocked. One small motion could bring down the lever.

“I’ll distract them,” Harrison said, stepping up beside me and jostling my line of thought.

Without hesitation, he walked up to the fence and stopped just a foot away, the clawed hands of the Infected nearly gripping him. When they were suitably excited by his presence and proximity, he strolled casually down the fence, away from me and the gate. It was a work of art, that walk, keeping himself close enough to provoke them and just out of reach where they couldn’t get to him. He did it with absolute confidence and a fearlessness that left me wanting to stare at his squared, solid shoulders and strong, steady strides rather than head for the gate. When I finally did, I saw that the gate was clear and rushed for it. And when I found it was unlocked, exactly as it had been in my nightmare, my muscles went into temporary paralysis. The reality left me unnerved because this simple oversight could have meant death to everyone inside. I quickly locked it, thanked God for keeping it shut, and called Harrison back.

As we stood there, focused on the lever, neither of us spoke for a few extended seconds. Then, without turning his head to me, he asked, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yeah,” I replied with a nod.

The two of us set out to circle the school, checking the remaining three locks on each side of the property and finding all of them previously secured. On a subconscious level, I knew they would be because it had been just that one in the maintenance area my nightmare had identified.

After we were back inside the gym and sitting facing each other on the pad, he warned, “There are more of them coming.”

“I saw,” I said. That should have left me uneasy, but my face lit up at my next thought.

“Hmm,” he mumbled tentatively. “I’m not sure I want to know but I’m going to ask anyways. What are you thinking now?”

“That you didn’t turn.”

He broke into a chuckle, a rumble that had the same solid resonance as his voice. “That’s true…I didn’t.” He sounded justifiably grateful for it and gradually became serious again. “If I had turned, would you have shot me?”

“Don’t ask me that.” The thought of it sickened me.

He nodded in understanding. “Knowing what is right is sometimes easier than
doing
what is right.”

I silently agreed and let go of the heavy, depressed sigh lodged in my throat. “Who would have thought we’d end up here?”

“In our school’s gym surrounded by psychotic cannibals?”

It was an understatement and again we laughed before his expression grew unexpectedly adoring. “I have to be honest, Kennedy. Taking away all that’s happened, there is one good thing that came out of it.”

“What?”

“I got to know you.” He said this with such sincerity it was staggering. It came through in his eyes, the lean of his body toward me, and the sudden tension that filled the air between us. “That chance,” he said with certainty in his tone, “would never have come any other way.”

“You’re right,” I whispered, my emotions rising up inside me. “We would have kept our distance, graduated, gone on to college, and I would never have…” I stopped to search for the right phrase.

“Have known,” he finished.

“That’s right.”

The tension between us grew then, thickening until it seemed to absorb the air around us. I had to fight not to lean closer to him. With his neck muscles strained taut, I had the feeling he was battling the same need. But before it went any further, I had a sudden urge to be honest with him, as much as he had been with me.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” I said offhandedly.

“Okay.”

And suddenly, because this issue had been lurking beneath the surface of my consciousness and had suddenly been exposed, I knew how Harrison must have felt when he told me his darkest secret. It was my turn now. I had poked the hornet’s nest with this discussion and while a part of me wanted to take it back, I had spun the proverbial bottle and it landed pointing at me; and I was guessing that a kiss wouldn’t aptly close the subject.

“I…,” I began and stopped, instantly feeling self-conscious. He gave me time, which spoke volumes about his patience with me and compassion for my feelings. The truth was most of the SEALs who had trained with me didn’t blab about their abilities. They kept them to themselves because it was no one else’s business. I’d kept it a secret because my world had been split between two identities: one designed to please my friends and maintain the prissy image I’d created and the other more in depth version of me that had me running through covert simulation trainings with my dad each weekend. These two identities clashed entirely. But I’d discarded the first identity over a year ago. It was time for Harrison to know the true me.

I smiled weakly at him and then let the words go. “My dad trained me to be a soldier.”

He nodded indifferently but showed no other reaction. He didn’t seem to understand.

“Tactical maneuvers, hand-to-hand combat, battlefield medicine. We’d meet his friends at different training grounds on the weekends for simulated battles. He’d quiz me over breakfast about military conflicts…I got an A in Modern World Studies because of it.”

His laughed lightly to himself, but showed nothing else in response. In fact, he took a few moments to make sure I had finished speaking before he did reply. “I know, Kennedy.”

My jaw fell open, and I didn’t bother to close it. “You knew?”

“Don’t worry, I think you kept your secret pretty well hidden.” After a quick shrug, he added, “Even if your new fashion choices were a little risky…” He gestured to the cargo pants and combat boots I was still wearing and flashed a sly smirk.

Amazed, I asked, “That’s how you figured it out?”

“Well, I was aware of a few small details others probably didn’t catch.”

“Like?”

“The throwing stars and use of firearms were key signs. The side kick to Tammie just inside the fence after she’d turned on that first day. The injuries MacAvoy sustained on your date…” he said, ducking his head and smiling in reflection to himself. “But there were other signs, earlier ones…The way you responded to authority, it was clear that respect had been drilled into you. You also exhibit highly trained responses such as the way you walk into a room and immediately scan it for threats. And the way you move…” he said, reluctantly admitting he’d been paying close attention to it. “It’s…precise and graceful.”

Stunned and speechless, it took several seconds for me to garner a response from my lips. “Wow. You were watching closely weren’t you?”

“Yes, I was.”

We stared at each other then, separated by only a few inches. In the moonlight, I could see the heat come into his eyes, the muscles tense along the length of his neck, and his jaw flex, sending a shadow across his face. And I was sure he saw a reaction in me, too. Every muscle in my body had tightened and I hadn’t been able to blink for far too long. This was all because we both had the same idea, the same craving.

And when my eyes landed on his lips he became entirely motionless.

He let his lids fall, breaking our gaze, and exhaled slowly, trying to reign in his emotions. Right before he spoke his eyebrows furrowed in pain. “If I am a carrier, my kiss could transmit the virus.”

His comment carried with it an insistence for me to read between the lines; implying that he wouldn’t risk it. “We’ll be careful.”

“We know nothing about this virus, Kennedy. I…God…” His agony was evident in his rapid exhale. “I want to, but I can’t.”

Suddenly, he rolled off the pad, leaving me bewildered. I kept my eyes on him as he stood up and ran a hand through his hair. He looked disturbed, agitated, with his head bowed and shaking back and forth. But when he lifted it, there was determination in his expression. “Get some sleep, Kennedy,” he said, ending any hope he’d change his mind. “I’ll let you know if-”

“You start to feel different,” I muttered. “Right.” Dropping back to the pad, I watched as he strode away, toward the door, and into the shadows. A few seconds later, I heard his back slide down the wall as he lowered his legs to the floor, and that was it. There was no more sound, just a thick silence hanging in the air. I debated whether to follow him, but ultimately, I refused to allow myself.

He’d made his decision.

Instead, I strained to hear the slightest sounds he might make…his breathing, a bored tap of his foot, the rustle of his clothing as he changed position…but there was none, not until dawn when he announced in a hushed voice, “Doc just dropped off breakfast.”

I sat up and found halos around everything I saw. Wiping my fingers across my eyes, I realized Harrison had been correct. I had needed sleep and had unknowingly given into it during the night.

“Eggs Benedict,” he announced while bringing the tray to me. “I think…”

I smiled at him, hoping that we could move on from the night before. He returned it and I instantly felt better.

“Breakfast in bed…” I said, trying to keep things playful. “Nice…”

“Hopefully,” he said looking uncertainly at the plate meant for me.

Given that breakfast was reconstituted scrambled eggs and the muffin was a slice of bread, he could have been correct. In fact, Doc and Mei had somehow found ingredients to make a version of the sauce, which turned out to be incredibly good.

“Where’s yours?” I asked after a few bites in.

“Already ate.”

I nodded and continued with mine as Harrison sat uncomfortably silent on the edge of the pad, legs stretched in front of him, lost in thought. The profile of his face told me nothing of what he was going over in his head; it only gave me a distressingly seductive view of him. Midway through my breakfast, I couldn’t stand the silence but wasn’t willing to address last night either.

“It has always bothered me,” I said between bites, “that we don’t have any track banners.”

He peered over his shoulder at me.

“The banners.” I motioned to the ones hanging over our heads, mounted along the ceiling on both sides of the courts. “We don’t have any track and field ones hanging.”

“Oh, right. I never paid attention to them,” he mumbled absentmindedly before turning back around. I initially took this as a sign of rejection but he twisted back around, rapidly, to once again look at me. “Kennedy, about last night.”

I almost choked.

While I was struggling to dislodge the half-chewed egg-bread in my throat, he stood up and started toward me, but I waved him back. If he was going to reinforce that he needed to reject me, there was no way I was going to accept his help. I’d rather suffocate. So there he stood, observant, thoroughly aware that I was being stubborn, ready to step in and save me. Once I hacked up the chunk of food embarrassing me and took a few much-needed, deep breaths, I lifted my chin to him.

“Yes?”

Apparently, my delay had given him time to formalize exactly what he wanted to say because it came out steadily and under a good deal of control. “I want you to know that there is no way in hell I would have passed up an opportunity to kiss you if I didn’t think it would hurt you.” To eliminate any doubt I might have, he restated his words with force, “No way in hell.”

It was an apt phrase, actually, given our surroundings.

Strangely, his admission sent a pleasant tingle through me, but having no idea what else to say, I muttered, “Okay…” An awkward silence followed, leaving us to stare aimlessly around the gym. Then, I realized the very things keeping us apart might need some tender loving care of their own, so I asked, “How are your dressings?”

He eyed them and I could tell by the way he’d done it that he hadn’t considered them once since I’d put them on. He caught me shaking my head at him.

“What?” he asked innocently.

Holding back a laugh, I stood up and went to take hold of his arm for my own inspection. I twisted it around both sides and found they were holding up, before wondering if he’d taken any of the antibiotics in the first aid kits. I was just about to ask this when I found him studying me.