Hawk's Way (9 page)

“This can never work, Jesse. Even if you could settle down, and I'm not sure you can, you're a Texas Ranger.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I don't want to spend my life worrying about whether you're going to come home to me at the end of the day. I had no choice with Cale. But I have one now. And I choose not to live my life like that.”

“I can't—won't—change my life for you,” Jesse said, disturbed by the narrow lines she was drawing.

“I'm not asking you to,” Honey said.

“Where does that leave us?”

“You've got a job to finish. I assume you're going to meet with the rustlers and exchange General for a great deal of money?”

He grinned crookedly. “That was the plan.”

“Then I suggest you go to work.”

Jesse sobered for a moment. “Things aren't over between us.”

She didn't argue with him. There was no sense in it. As soon as his job was done he would be leaving. She felt the pain of loss already. Even if he had been the drifter he first professed to be, he would have been moving on sooner or later. She had always known Jesse wouldn't be hanging around. Only now his leaving had a certainty that allowed her to begin accepting—and grieving—his loss.

She searched his features, absorbing them, cataloguing them so she would remember them. Her eyes skipped to the body she had adored last night, and she noticed a huge red welt on his right shoulder that had previously been hidden by the pillow.

“Oh, my God, Jesse. Look what I've done to you!”

Jesse gasped as she reached out and touched the spot where the horsewhip had cut into his flesh.

She pushed at his chest. “Let me up, Jesse. I need to get some salve for that before it gets any worse than it is.”

Honey didn't know what she would have done if he hadn't let her up just then. She was feeling so many things—remorse and embarrassment and love. And the love seemed to be winning out. She didn't want to care for this man. It would only hurt worse when he left.

Jesse took advantage of the time Honey was out of the room to put on his pants and boots. When she came back he was sitting on the edge of the bed shirtless, waiting for her.

Honey laid the things she had brought back with her on the end table beside the bed, then sat down beside Jesse to minister to the wound.

He hissed in a breath of air when she began dabbing at the raw flesh with warm water. “I know this must hurt,” she soothed.

As she worked, Jesse wasn't nearly so aware of the pain as he was of the care she was taking
of him. It had been years and years since there had been a woman in his life to care for him. His mother had died when his sister, Tate, was born, leaving Tate to be raised by a father and three older brothers. He had been how old? No more than eleven or twelve.

He luxuriated in the concern Honey showed with every gesture, every touch. She cared for him. He felt sure of it. Even though she denied him in words, her gentleness, her obvious distress over his injury, gave her away. He meant to have her—despite the reservations she had voiced.

It had never occurred to him that she would demand that he leave the Rangers. He relished the danger and excitement of the job. There must be a way he could have Honey and the Texas Rangers, too. He would just have to find it.

“When are you going to meet with the rustlers?” Honey asked.

“Sometime tonight.”

Honey bit her lip to keep from begging him not to go. She had learned her lessons with
Cale. Her pleas would be useless. Instead she said, “Promise me you'll be careful.”

He took her hand from his shoulder and held it between both of his. “Don't worry about me, Honey.” He flashed her a grin. “I've been doing this a long time. I know how to take care of myself. Besides, I'm not about to get myself killed when I've got you to come back to.”

“Jesse…”

He reached up and caught her chin in his fingertips, drawing her lips toward his. “Honey…”

Warm. Wet. Tender. His mouth seduced her to his will. His hand curled around her nape and slid up into her hair. Suddenly she was sitting in his lap, her hands circling his neck, and his mouth was nuzzling her throat.

“I can't get enough of you,” he murmured. “Come back to bed with me, Honey.”

She was tempted. Lord how she was tempted!

“Forget about General. Forget about the Texas Rangers. Don't think about—”

Honey tore herself from his grasp and stood facing him. Her breasts ached. Desire spiraled in her belly. It was hard to catch her breath. But
catch it she did long enough to say, “No, Jesse. This has to stop. Right now. You can stay here long enough to finish your business. Until then…just leave me alone.”

Jesse was equally aroused and frustrated by the interruption of their lovemaking. “You're being foolish, Honey.”

“So now I'm a fool on top of everything else,” she retorted. “You're making it very easy to get you out of my life, Jesse.”

He thrust a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. “That came out wrong,” he admitted. “You know what I mean.”

He rose and paced the floor like a caged wolf. “We're meant to be together. I feel it
here.
” He pounded his chest around the region of his heart. “You're only fighting against the inevitable. We
will
spend our lives together.”

“Until you get shot?” she retorted. “Until I bury you like I buried Cale? No, Jesse. We aren't going to be together. I need someone I can rely on to be around for the long haul. You aren't that man.”

“That remains to be seen,” he said through clenched teeth.

Jesse wasn't prepared for the tears that gathered in Honey's eyes. He watched her blink hard, valiantly fighting them. It was clearly a losing battle, and they spilled from the corners of her eyes.

“It's over, Jesse. I mean it.” She dashed at the tears with the back of her hand.
“I won't cry for you.”

He watched her eyes begin to blaze with anger as she battled against the strong emotions that gripped her—and won. The tears stopped, and only the damp streaks on her face remained to show the pain she was suffering.

He felt her retreating from him even though she hadn't moved a step. “Don't go, Honey. I need you.” He paused and added, “I love you.”

“You lied to me. You used me. That's not the way people in love treat each other.” She choked back the tears that threatened again and said, “You should have told me the truth. You should have trusted me. You should have given me the choice of knowing who you really are before I got involved with you. That's what I can't forgive, Jesse.”

She turned and left the room, shoulders back, chin high, proud and unassailable. He had never wanted her more than he did in that moment, when he feared she was lost to him.

He sank down onto the bed and stared out through the lace-curtained window. He had to admit his excuse for keeping Honey in the dark about why he had come to the Flying Diamond had sounded feeble even to his ears. He could see why she was angry. He could see why she felt betrayed.

But there was no way he could have told her the real reason she hadn't been let in on his identity: every shred of evidence against the rustlers, every outlaw trail, led straight back to the Lazy S Ranch—and Adam Philips.

“D
id you steal the bull?” Mort asked.

“Yes,” Jesse replied.

“Then where is it?” the rustler demanded.

“In a safe place.”

“The Boss is waiting for that bull,” Mort said. “You were supposed to bring it here.” Mort spat chewing tobacco toward the horse trailer he had brought to transport the bull, and which would apparently be leaving empty.

“Plans change,” Jesse said.

Mort's eyes narrowed. “What's that supposed to mean?”

Jesse stared right back at the grizzle-faced cowboy. “I've decided to renegotiate the terms of our agreement.”

“The Boss ain't gonna like that,” Mort warned ominously.

“If he doesn't like it, I can find another buyer for the bull,” Jesse said.

“Now hold on a minute,” Mort sputtered. “You can't—”

“Tell your boss to be here at midnight tonight,” Jesse interrupted. “I'll be waiting with the bull, but I'll only deal with him in person. Tell him the price is double what we agreed on. In cash—small bills.”

Mort was clearly alarmed by Jesse's ultimatum. “You're making a big mistake.”

“If he wants the bull, he'll come.”

It wasn't a subtle method of getting to the top man, Jesse thought, but it inevitably worked. Greed was like that. Of course he would have to watch out for the also inevitable double-cross. There was always the chance that
bullets would start flying. He hoped he'd have enough backup to ensure that the guys in the white hats won.

Mort drove away grumbling, and Jesse got into his pickup and headed in the opposite direction from the Flying Diamond. He felt confident that his business for the Rangers would soon be finished. Then he could concentrate on what really mattered—his relationship with Honey. First he had to see Dallas to confirm the details of their plan to capture the brains behind the brawn tonight.

Jesse might have had second thoughts about how soon things were going to be wrapped up if he had known that his visit with Mort Barnes had been observed by another very interested party.

* * *

Honey was sweeping off the front porch when Adam Philips drove up later that same afternoon. She felt a momentary pang of guilt, but it was quickly followed by relief that she had ended their relationship. Considering they were no longer romantically involved, she couldn't imagine why Adam had come calling.

Honey laid the broom against the wooden wall of the house—noticing that it badly needed another coat of white paint—and stepped over to the porch rail. She held a hand over her brow to keep the sun out of her eyes. “Hello, Adam,” she greeted him cautiously. “What brings you out here today?”

It wasn't anything good, Honey surmised after one look at the grim line of Adam's mouth. His features only seemed to get more strained as he left the car and headed up the porch steps toward her.

“Have a seat,” Honey said, gesturing toward the wooden swing that hung from the porch rafters. She set a hip on the porch rail, facing the swing.

Adam sat down but abruptly jumped up again and marched over to stand before Honey. “How much do you really know about that man you hired to help around here?”

“Not a lot,” Honey admitted with a shrug. “He has a degree in ranch management and—”

“Did it ever occur to you to wonder why a man with a degree in ranch management is con
tent to work as a mere hired hand?” Adam demanded.

Honey stared at him. It hadn't, of course. She hadn't questioned anything about Jesse's story. Which was why his revelation that he was a Texas Ranger had caught her so much off guard. It was clear Adam was still suspicious of Jesse's motives. But there was no reason for him to be. “You don't have to worry about Jesse,” she said.

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because he's a Texas Ranger.”

“What?” Adam looked stunned.

Honey grinned. “He's working undercover to catch the rustlers who've been stealing cattle around here. I don't think he'll mind that I told you, but keep it under your hat, okay?”

Adam gave her a sharp look. “Did you know all along that he was a Texas Ranger?”

“I only found out myself this morning,” she admitted.

Adam stuck his thumbs into the pockets of his Levi's. He pursed his lips and shook his head ruefully. “Looks like I've been a real fool.
I thought that he—Never mind. I'll be going now. I've got some calls to make before dark.”

“Adam,” Honey called after him.

He stopped and turned back to her. “Yes, Honey?”

“Don't be a stranger.”

A pained expression passed fleetingly across his face. He managed a smile and said, “All right. But don't look for me too soon, all right?”

“All right. Goodbye, Adam.”

Honey worked alone the rest of the afternoon. She was grateful for Jack's absence because it gave her time to come to terms with Jesse's revelation that he was a Texas Ranger. Equally fortunate, she was spared Jesse's presence as well. He had left earlier to run some errands and hadn't returned.

Maybe it was better that they didn't spend too much time alone. Last night had been a moment out of time, almost too good to be true. It had certainly been too perfect to expect it to last. If only…

Honey thought about what she would have to
give up to have Jesse in her life. Having a partner to share the responsibility of the ranch and to be there when she needed him, for one thing. She had sworn when Cale died that she would never marry another man who didn't put her needs, and the needs of the Flying Diamond, at least on an equal footing with his profession.

Although Adam's work as a doctor would have taken him away on occasion, his free time would have been devoted to her. He was wealthy enough to have hired a local man, Chuck Loomis, whose ranch had gone bust, to manage the Lazy S. Honey knew Adam also would have hired the help necessary to take care of the Flying Diamond and preserve it as a heritage for her sons.

Over the past fourteen years, Honey had fought the steady demise of her ranch. But her efforts alone—while Cale had been off fighting badmen—hadn't been enough to make all the repairs needed. The Flying Diamond was a shabby shadow of what it had been in the years when Cale's father had devotedly nurtured it.

She owed it to her sons to marry someone
who could help her bring the Flying Diamond back to its former glory. Jesse could help her make it happen if he devoted himself full-time to running the ranch. But Honey couldn't imagine him being willing to leave the Texas Rangers for any reason, least of all because she asked it of him.

Even if she swallowed her pride and shouldered all the burdens of the Flying Diamond, she would still have to face the constant fear of losing Jesse to an outlaw's bullet. She couldn't bear the constant strain of not knowing whether he would come home to her at the end of the day.

The case Jesse was working on right now was a good example of what she could expect if he didn't quit the Rangers. He had told her the men he was hunting weren't just rustlers, they were murderers. They had killed a rancher in Laredo. If they ever found out a Texas Ranger had insinuated himself in their organization…Honey shuddered at the thought of what would happen to Jesse.

She hadn't forgotten what it felt like when
she'd heard that Cale had been killed in the line of duty. She didn't ever want to suffer through that kind of anguish again. In the few weeks he had been around, Jesse had made a place for himself in her life and in her heart. She didn't want to contemplate how she would suffer if something went wrong and he was killed.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Honey nearly fell backward over the porch rail. Jesse reached out and caught her, pulling her into his embrace. Honey's arms circled his broad shoulders and she looked into his amused face.

“Nearly lost you,” he said. “What were you daydreaming about?”

She wasn't about to admit she had been worrying about him. “I was just thinking what good weather Jack has for tubing on the river.”

“You mean he's not home yet?”

“No,” she said, embarrassed by how breathless her voice sounded. Honey flushed at the intent look on Jesse's face as it suddenly dawned on him that they had the place to themselves. She swallowed hard and said, “Where have you been all day?”

“Doing business for the Texas Rangers,” he admitted. “But I'm all yours now.”

The leer on his face made it plain what he hoped she would do with him.

Honey was tempted to start a fight, or do whatever else was necessary to make Jesse angry enough to leave her alone. On the other hand, she was also very much aware of the sensual lure he had thrown out to her. Their time together was coming to a close. It was hard to say no when he was here, wanting her, desiring her, with his eyes and his voice and his body.

He reached out and tugged on the waistband of her jeans. The top button popped free.

“Don't even think it,” she warned.

“You can read my mind?”

“Enough to know you're crazy.”

“Probably certifiable,” he admitted. “But if you don't tell, I won't.”

He made growling sounds and bit her neck, sending a frisson of fire through her veins.

She grabbed Jesse's face to try to make him stop whatever tantalizing thing he was doing to her throat with his tongue, but he caught her
hands and forced them behind her. Twining their fingers together, he used them to pull her between his widespread legs where his arousal was evident.

“Jesse,” she protested with a breathless laugh. “We can't. It's broad daylight.”

“There's no one to see,” he said, thrusting against her and causing her to groan as her body responded to the urgency of his.

She was running out of excuses for him not to do what she so desperately wanted him to do. “Jack might come home.”

“Then we'll just have to go where he won't find us,” Jesse murmured conspiratorially.

Honey thought he meant her bedroom, but he obviously had other ideas. She gasped when he threw her over his shoulder and headed for the barn.

“Not the barn!” she hooted.

“Why not the barn?” he said with a grin.

“Hay itches.”

He stopped and rearranged her in his arms so he could see her face. “Sounds like you speak from experience.”

The color rose on Honey's cheeks. When Jesse laughed she hid her face against his throat.

He murmured in her ear, “If you feel any itches anywhere I'll be glad to scratch them.”

Honey giggled like a schoolgirl. She felt so carefree! If only it could always be like this, laughter and loving, with no thought of the future to spoil it. Honey nibbled on Jesse's ear and heard him hiss in a breath of air.

“Keep that up, woman, and we won't make it to the barn,” he warned.

Honey was feeling in a dangerous mood. She teased his ear with her tongue, tracing the shell-like shape of it. She shrieked when Jesse teasingly threatened to drop her.

At the barn door he stopped and stood her before him so he could look at her.

When Honey caught sight of his face she knew she was playing with fire. His dark eyes were heavy-lidded, his features taut with desire. His nostrils flared and his hands tightened on her flesh. Her whole body tensed in response to his obvious sexual hunger.

Her fingertips caressed his cheekbones and
slid up from his temple into the thick black hair at his nape. “I want you, Jesse.”

Her words were like a match on tinder. Jesse's mouth came down on hers, his tongue thrusting in a mirror image of that age-old dance between men and women. Her fingers clutched at his hair, forcing his hat off his head. She grabbed hold of him as though to keep from flying off into the unknown. For nothing Jesse did to her from then on was like anything that had ever happened to her before.

His mouth found her nipple through her thin cotton shirt, rousing her to passion. His hand slid down the front of her jeans and cupped the heat and heart of her. He urged her hand down to the hard bulge that threatened the seams of his Levi's. He thrust against her, his desire a stronger aphrodisiac than any shaman's love potion.

They stood just inside the barn door, and Jesse molded them together belly to belly as he backed her out of the sunlight and into the shadows. “It's time you and I had a talk about what happens when you tease a man,” Jesse rasped,
pressing her up against the barn wall with his body.

He insinuated his thigh between her legs and lifted her so she could feel the heat and pressure of his flesh against that most sensitive of feminine places. Meanwhile he cupped a breast in one hand while the other captured her nape to hold her still for the onslaught of his mouth and the invasion of his tongue.

“Honey,” he rasped. “I can't get enough of you, the feel of you, the taste of you.”