HAYDEN (Dragon Security Book 5) (6 page)

“I love your body,” I whispered against her ear. “I love the way your skin feels, the way it tastes. I love the way it feels against mine.”

She reached back and touched the side of my face. I nuzzled her throat lightly, pressing my facial hair roughly against her tender skin.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

She twisted, her lips brushing my jaw.

“Tell me you want me, Sam.”

She hesitated a second, then she stood, pulling away from me at the same instant she held out her hand to me, beckoning to me. I got up and followed her up the stairs and into her bedroom and into the center of her beautiful queen-size bed.

“I want you, Hayden,” she said softly, her hand held out to me.

It was like every dream I’d ever allowed myself, every desire I’d ever let myself entertain, everything that I’d never believed I could have lying right there, all wrapped together in one, perfect package.

I crawled into her arms, stole her lips. And, just as I started to get lost again, I swore I heard her whisper,

“Don’t fall in love with me…”

Sam

My body ached in places it’d never ached before. I shifted restlessly, my eyes trained on the clouds outside the jet’s windows, but seeing Hayden as he was in my bed last night. I bit my lip to keep a smile from slipping out. A smile that I knew Megan would read properly. I wasn’t quite ready to share this little bit of information with her. I wasn’t sure why…but I wasn’t.

He’d still been there when I woke this morning, as he had been the prior two mornings. But I was still surprised…and relieved.

“Why don’t you have tattoos?” I asked him this morning, running my hand slowly over his chest, tracing a fingertip around one teeny nipple.

“I don’t like needles.”

I giggled. “You fought in Afghanistan, but you’re afraid of needles?”

“The enemy in Afghanistan didn’t stab me repeatedly with little pinpricks, injecting a questionable ink under my flesh.”

I laughed and he pinned me down against the mattress, a pretend anger in his eyes that quickly disappeared as I pressed my bare hips up against his. I was a quick learner and I knew what it took to distract him. He buried his face between my breasts and…

I couldn’t quite keep that smile from my face.

“…you never told me.”

I looked up, suddenly aware that Megan was talking to me. “What?”

Her eyebrows rose. “Having trouble concentrating today?”

I shrugged. “What did I never tell you?”

“What you found on Dante when you did the second background check.”

“Basically the same things. Why?”

She looked uncomfortable, shifting in her seat as her eyes moved everywhere but to my face. “I just… I was thinking that since we’re going to New York, and he had been a cop in New York, we might do a little more digging.”

“Are we looking for something in particular?”

“It’s probably nothing.” She brushed a piece of hair from her face, a gesture that screamed nerves, like she was trying to hide something she’d done that she was a little ashamed of.

“What?”

She studied my face a second. “He got a call while he was at my house the other day.”

“From who?”

“Honeysuckle Nursing Home.”

My eyebrows rose. “Isn’t that the same place where Luke—”

“Yeah. But it’s a big place. They have over two hundred beds. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.”

“I’m sure it is, too. But nothing ever came up on the background checks. As far as I know, he doesn’t have any living family.”

“Maybe it’s a friend of the family. His mom’s best friend or something.”

“Maybe.”

I tugged my iPad out of its little case and pulled up the files on Dante. I looked through them a minute, Megan leaning to look over my shoulder.

“We could arrange to have lunch with a couple of his colleagues.” I pointed out a couple of names on the report. “Maybe one of them could tell us more.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry. I wanted this trip to be fun, but…”

“No, it’s fine. I want to do this for you.”

She touched my knee, an overwhelming sadness filling her eyes. I looked away, not really ready to talk about what was happening. I’d heard what the doctor said. The details repeated themselves over and again in my head when it was quiet. Maybe that was part of why I was so grateful that Hayden had been there these last few nights. He kept me occupied and helped me sleep soundly. Those thoughts were gone until this moment.

We landed a few hours later and went to a nice dinner that I could only afford in Megan’s presence. Then we arrived at the hotel—a ball of luxury that was almost overwhelming—and a long night of tossing and turning.

“How long are they going to make us wait?”

I tugged the dorky hospital gown closer against me, trying not to wonder if Hayden would find me beautiful if he were here and could see me like this.

Megan came up behind me and rubbed my back. “I’m going to go see if I can find a nurse or someone.”

“No, don’t go,” I said, snatching her wrist.

She nodded, taking a seat in the chair beside me. But then she got up again and began to pace the room.

“Do you really think this doctor will find something different than Dr. Alvarez back home?”

Megan nodded. “I do.”

“But Dr. Alvarez—”

The doctor chose that moment to come into the room, my chart displayed on a tablet in his hand, a pretty nurse behind him.

“Ms. Wagner,” he said, barely looking at me. “I understand you’re here for a second opinion on your myocarditis.”

“Yes.”

He nodded, still perusing the chart. It was a long moment of silence while he reviewed it, then he set it down and took a seat on a stool, rolling toward me.

“Let’s have a listen.”

He pressed his cold stethoscope to my chest, listening to my heart from several different positions. Then he looked at my hands, my bare toes, and my eyes.

“Your lupus is under control at this time?”

“Yes.”

“And the myocarditis…what did your doctor decide was the cause?”

“Inflammation caused by the lupus.”

He nodded. “It’s unusual for the heart to be directly affected by lupus, but it has happened.” He took my wrist in his hand and felt my pulse. “Any breathing issues? Dizziness?”

“She has dizziness, but it’s gotten better since they started on her on medications.”

The doctor seemed a little irritated that Megan answered for me, but he didn’t comment. He continued touching me, looking for things that I’d read about on various websites: bluing around my lips and fingernails that might indicate a reduction in oxygenated blood in my system, coldness in my hands and feet that could indicate reduced circulation, a change in blood pressure that could indicate further muscle damage. I was not the kind of patient who moved through life uneducated. I knew what was wrong with me and I knew what my prognosis was. I was only here because Megan couldn’t accept it.

“I’d like to send you over to the hospital for a few more tests,” the doctor said, sliding back over to the counter on his little stool and scribbling on the computer tablet to add his notes to what was already there.

“How long will that take?”

He shrugged. “A few hours.” He sat back and looked at me. “You’re here from Texas?”

“Yes.”

He studied my face a long moment. “If I were you, I’d go home and enjoy the holidays.” He stood, laying his hand heavily on my shoulder. “But, if you do the tests, we should have the results in a few days.”

“We’ll do the tests,” Megan said.

The doctor looked from her to me, and then simply nodded. “Good luck, Miss Wagner.”

The moment he was gone, Megan was bringing me my clothes.

“Arrogant man, isn’t he? But, again, he’s the best cardiologist in the country, so I guess he has a right to be.”

I didn’t say a word. I just got dressed and climbed into the back of the chauffeured car that was hired to take us around the city. Later, at the hospital, I found myself thinking more and more about Hayden as I lay on a gurney, waiting for some underpaid, overworked orderly to come take me to my MRI, my arm aching where they’d inserted the IV line. I could see a bruise forming around the needle already. What lie would I tell Hayden about that? Would he believe me?

He liked to kiss the inside of my elbow. He said he liked the way I moaned when he kissed me there, but I thought that it was something else. I thought that he liked kissing me in all the places that were hidden during the day.

I’d always thought I’d save myself for my wedding day. Not just because that’s what my mom told me to do, but because I wanted to be sure that the man I gave myself to really loved me, and that we had a relationship that would last. But when Hayden touched me and kissed me the way he did in that hotel room, I realized that was a moment I’d never experience again. I couldn’t help myself.

Maybe my mother was right. Maybe my soul was tainted by my father’s unsaved soul. Maybe I was always destined to become a fallen woman.

I’d always feared this moment—the moment when I became the woman my mother said I would be, the woman she claimed Megan to be. But I’d never realized just how much fun it would be.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was really living. I felt alive in a way I’d never felt before. And Hayden…just the way he looked at me made me feel things I’d never realized existed. Things I’d assumed I wasn’t capable of. I wanted nothing more than to go back to Houston and crawl back into bed with him. I’d worry about my soul some other time.

I wanted to live while I was alive. And I wanted out of this damn hospital. I’d spent enough time in the hospital.

“Hey, Megan…”

But just as I said her name, the orderly arrived.

We were free of the hospital late Monday night. I wanted to go to a Broadway show or a nightclub, but the tests had left me tired. We ended up having room service hamburgers and watching reality television. Then I slipped off to my room and crawled into bed, my phone cradled in my hands.

“How are you, beautiful?” Hayden asked over a text.

“Missing you,” I typed, hesitating before I pushed the button. Did that make me sound too needy? Too invested? But then he came back, the same sentiment sent from his phone.

“What are you wearing?” came next, making me laugh even as a blush burned over my cheeks.

“I’m more than a thousand miles away.”

“But you’re still mine.”

It was a double-edged sword when he said that. I wanted to be his. I wanted to know that he wanted no one else but me. But I was afraid of what would happen if we went further than this.

I must have taken too long to answer because my phone rang, Hayden’s face filling the screen. I mumbled a soft hello as I answered it.

“What are you wearing?”

“Hayden,” I whispered, my heart in my throat.

“Tell me.”

“Shorts and a t-shirt.”

“Take them off.”

“Hayden, Megan’s in the next room!”

“She doesn’t need to know. Go lock the door and then take off your clothes.”

His voice…it was an order that I knew I couldn’t disobey. I did as he said, padding across to the door that separated my room from the rest of the suite. I could hear the television still on in the sitting room, so I knew that Megan was only a few feet from where I stood. My heart was pounding.

I stared at the phone as I slowly undressed, almost as if he could see me through the eyes of a picture I’d taken nearly three years ago.

“Okay,” I said softly into the phone, trying to keep my voice down.

“Lay on the bed. Get comfortable. Listen to my voice.”

My heart was still pounding. It was the kind of pounding that a month ago would have scared me to death. But now I just wanted to listen to his voice, just like he said.

I settled back against the pillow, pulled a light sheet up against my body, and closed my eyes.

“Okay.”

“I’m there with you,” he said. “My hands are itching to touch you, but not yet. Right now, I’m lying close to you, so close you can feel my heat, but I’m not touching you. I’m just enjoying the sight of your beautiful body. My eyes are moving over you, pausing at the sight of your erect nipples, at the sight of the tiny goosebumps the cool air has caused to rise on your creamy peach skin. I want to touch your breasts and feel the weight of them against my palms, but I’m waiting. Waiting for you to ask for it.”

“Hayden…”

“Shh, baby. Just listen.”

He cleared his throat before he continued. “My eyes move further down your body, moving over your hips, the flare of bone, and then the little curve that defines your femininity. Your thighs, the way they part naturally to leave you free for my touch. My fingers ache to touch you there, to feel the moisture that tells me how badly you want me—how much you want me inside of you. My tongue tingles at the thought of pressing it there against your clit—at the idea of tasting you and the sweetness no one else has ever experienced.

“My cock is rock hard just at the thought of touching you. My fingers are almost numb they tingle so intensely. I move close to you, my mouth so close to your ear that you can feel the heat of my breath against your skin. You turn your head, aching for my kiss, but if I kiss you, I’ll lose all control.”

I bit back a groan, and my chest ached as my heart continued to pound. My breath was coming in quick little gasps; my body was swollen with need. I moved my hips against the cool sheet, the movement almost like a touch of his hand. And that just made the need erupt even more intensely along my hips, my belly.

“I move over your body, my breath the only thing touching you as I move close. I move low as I lean over you, my naked body so close, but still so far away.”

“Hayden…” I whispered, my eyes still closed, my imagination burning with the images he was creating for me.