Hear Me Now (9 page)

Chapter Ten

Cadence

I’ve never been so happy to be outside in my life.

Not a lot of people know, but this isn’t my first experience with bullying. It’s the first time it’s happened here, but before Mom got me into my school, I was in regular elementary. I experienced kids and their hate firsthand and while it wasn’t anywhere near what I just went through, it wasn’t pretty either. People, kids especially seem to think that just because we can’t hear the things they say about us that we have no idea it’s happening.

There was this one time, when I was like ten, where I read a girl’s lips at school and she had some pretty mean things to say about me and my friend Harrison. There was nothing different about Harrison, he was just like her, but because he made a choice to be my friend, it opened him up for the horrible words and taunts that were thrown around about me all the time.

It didn’t sit right with me. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. It bothered me that she said stuff about me, it hurt if I’m honest about it, but it was the things she said about Harrison that pushed me forward. I walked up and when she finally turned and acknowledged me, I slapped her across the face. A move she definitely hadn’t been expecting.

I don’t like fighting but that’s not to say I’ve never been pushed to it. The girl, whose name I can’t even remember, backed down after that. It’s like slapping her, I woke her up and she started thinking I could hear her after all. The taunts stopped and though I still had people do them, they weren’t coming from her and Harrison was able to go on being my friend and not worry about being attacked for it. I’d done what I set out to do.

Being deaf is not a weakness or it shouldn’t be seen as one and that’s what I wanted to get across that day. It’s still what I want people to see. It’s the same thing with the special needs kids. They are no different than I am, than anyone is really. Just because they might act in ways that
‘normal’
people don’t or experience life in a different way, it doesn’t make them wrong or less than anyone else. We’re not weak or what’s wrong with the world. If anything, from the people that I’ve met and spent time with, we might just be what’s right about it.

It didn’t take long after Belle showed up for her to talk my mom into letting me leave. Having lived through this herself, she knows better than anyone that staying in the classroom, even if I am protected by a parent wasn’t the right thing for me. My mom cracked under the pressure and with the promise of having Kayden drive me home, she let me go.

I’m outside sitting on the curb, not trusting my wobbly legs to walk the parking lot, waiting for Kayden to pull up in order to get me out of here. I’m enjoying the way the breeze feels on my face and how just a few minutes of sitting out here like this seems to make the events of earlier fade away, leaving me the most relaxed I’ve felt since my mom told me my school would be closing.

Seeing the car pull out of the spot a few feet away I stand up and prepare myself for when he pulls up, but the minute I go to take a step away from my place, I feel the brush of a hand on my arm. Thinking its Isabelle, I turn but it’s not her at all.

It’s Dillon.

“Why are you leaving?”

When I don’t answer him, he tries again and despite every attempt not to, I’m drawn to his lips the minute they start moving.

“Did something happen?”

There’s no doubt about it. I lied to my mom when I said there was nothing going on here. There is definitely something going on, at least for me and the proof is in the way I’m acting right now. The way I’ve been acting since the first day he walked into the class and spoke to me for the first time. I’m drawn to him and denying it isn’t worth the effort it would take.

I just don’t want to be drawn to him.

I nod my head, thankful that he’s asked something I can answer.

He looks me over at my response and it’s when his eyes come to rest on my head that he moves and before I know it he’s behind me, his fingers on the top of my head. If he didn’t know what happened to me before, he’s fully aware of it now.

This is something I don’t want him to see. I’m still not sure he wasn’t behind the entire thing, so him picking through my hair and seeing what his friends did to me, it’s not right.

After a few seconds of him standing behind me, his shadow hovering over mine, he breaks away from his inspection and comes around to face me again. I see the look on his face, reminding me again of the way I’d seen him in the hallway with his friends that first day.  It’s a look I don’t think he wears often but one I knew was there just waiting to escape.

Seeing what he did, what they did to me, it’s hurting him.

“I’m sorry.”

Reaching out, I do the only thing I can in order to make him see I’m alright and that I know it’s not his fault. As my fingers connect to his hand though, his eyes seem to become even more pained and I immediately take a step back. The pain reflected in his eyes makes me feel like I’ve been burned.

“This should have never happened. Kayden’s right. This is my fault. I need to fix this shit. I know it means n
othing to you, but Cadence; what happened, it won’t happen again.”

The speed at which his lips move reminds me of the way he’d been in class with me before and completely different from the way he’d been a few seconds ago. It’s almost as though this time, he wants to get the words out so badly that he’s not paying attention to how fast he’s saying them and they’re actually running together a lot more than they should.

I’m about to open my mouth and tell him that everything’s okay, but just as my lips part he turns his back to me and walks toward the school again, faster than I expect, like he can’t get away from me fast enough. Despite my desire to go after him in order to make him feel better, I don’t do it. 

Whatever this is that I’m feeling, I need to get it under control. Just because he didn’t have anything to do with what happened, it doesn’t suddenly make him a better guy. It just means that his friends had gotten the jump on him. There’s no telling what would be waiting for me in the morning once he’s had time away from me. He could easily turn around and join in with his girlfriend tomorrow and I need to remember that. What my mom said before is true. He’s bad news and I need to stay away from him now more than ever.

Even if it’s the last thing I want to do.

Dillon

Someone is going to pay for this.

I’m already going to get shit for not heading to class the way I should have. Well, that’s not exactly true. I did go to the class, but the minute I saw Isabelle and Kayden walking Cadence out of the class, I ducked around the corner and waited for them to pass.

Instead of heading in, I followed them out and I’m glad I did. If I didn’t go out there to meet her, I never would have known what really happened when she left me earlier. I know it all now and I swear to god, if I don’t find Amy soon, I’m going to beat on the first person that steps in my path.

What happened to her, what Amy did, it’s all my fault. That’s why I walked away from her when she reached out. I couldn’t take looking up into those eyes and seeing what I knew I would find there. She knows I had nothing to do with this, which means when she touched me, she was doing it to let me know she didn’t blame me. I couldn’t let her because honestly, I am to blame for this. I’m the one that created Amy and now I need to be the one to put an end to her.

There was blood matted to the top of her head for fuck sakes. We’ve been doing this shit with people for three years now and never once has someone come out with blood on them. Yes, they ended up burned, but they were never bleeding. Whatever happened in that bathroom, it ended with Cadence bleeding. I can’t handle that.

This isn’t about weakness and strength anymore. I know I’ve made it about that because of what Bruce drilled into my head, but what this girl went through, it has nothing to do with her being weak. I’ve only talked to her for two days out of the last four and even I know she’s stronger than all of the people I call friends.

I know because she’s stronger than me.

I was so preoccupied with the damage done to her hair that I didn’t even think to ask if she’d been burned. I remember Isabelle after Amy got through with her and none o
f that was obvious with Cadence, which makes me think that they didn’t get as far with her as they have with everyone else they’ve done it too. It also makes something else pretty damn obvious.

Cadence fought back.

Amy is a strong chick. There’s not many girls that can take her down and it’s even worse when she’s got Charlotte and Eve with her. Those girls are unstoppable. If Cadence was burned, I would have seen it somehow. She might not react the same as Isabelle, or even the other girls that we’ve sent home in tears, completely broken down from the sick shit we do, but it still would have been obvious.

It doesn’t even matter to me if she was burned or not. All I care about is finding Amy and dealing with this jealousy shit once and for all. She’d taken it too far this time and Kayden, as much as I hate the guy, is right. I need to get rid of her before she brings me down.

Drags me down more than I’ve already done on my own anyway.

Knowing that looking for Amy specifically isn’t going to work since we couldn’t find her earlier, I veer towards where I know I’ll find Charlotte and Eve.

They were involved in what happened, which means they’re just as guilty, if not more so than Amy is. They know how she is and they also saw the way Cadence was with them for the little she hung out with us. If they’re really Amy’s friends, they would have talked her out of this shit instead of going along with it.

My stomach is in knots just thinking about it and it’s not because of the stuff I’m thinking. It’s because I’m just as guilty as they are. I could have stopped Amy from doing this. I should have done it, but of course I’d stormed off, leaving my girlfriend with her festering thoughts and n
ow Cadence paid the price.

I might to be blame, but it doesn’t stop what’s gotta happen now. I’ve got to end things with Amy and no matter what she says or does, I have to make sure that this time it’s for good. I’ve been sick of the constant back and forth with us for a while, but too damn lazy to do anything about it. I don’t know what the hell is going on with me and Cadence, but if anything she’d given me enough of a wakeup call to do what I should have a long time ago.

When I get to Charlotte’s class, keeping myself hidden from the teacher’s line of vision, I scan the room for the two girls I hope to find. When a complete glance over the entire class produces nothing, both girls as missing as Amy is, I finally do the one thing I’ve been avoiding the entire time. I pull my phone from my pocket and I text her. It’s a long shot, but maybe if I say the right thing, she’ll answer me despite being pissed with the way we left things at lunch.

Baby, where are you? Look, I’m sorry about what happened. I bailed out on class, so if you just tell me where you’re at, I’ll meet you.

I am not that guy. I think that’s the first time I’ve sent a text calling her baby since we got together. I’m pretty sure she’ll see through my bullshit attempt at getting her to answer me, but with nothing left to lose and needing to get this over with, I press send.

Library. Did something that if Daniels finds me I’m gonna get in shit for. Meet us there.

I wasn’t looking to do this with an audience, but with the only other option being not doing it all, it doesn’t look like I’ve got much choice. I’m not backing down this time. Turning back the way I came, this time heading in the direction of the library, I speed up until I’m standing right outside the doors.

I’ve been in here exactly three times since I started here freshman year. I didn’t like it much then and I don’t like it now.

When I first moved here I wasn’t the way I am now. I was quiet and not knowing anyone, I wanted a place to escape for the first few days while I acclimated to the way this school was from my old one. I hid out here and ate my lunch, read books and other things that looking back, made me look pretty nerdy. After that I ended up going to the locker room but before it was my safe haven.

Being here reminds me of the way things were then and I’m sickened by it. The same way I felt with Kayden bringing up the past is happening again and it makes me want to leave. I want to go to my car, get in and drive away from here, not looking back until I’m out of this town altogether. I’ll never do it and no matter how much I wanna flee from the memories, I can’t.

I need to get this over with.

I see them the minute I slide through the turnstiles and catching the eye of the librarian, I motion to where they’re huddled and then point to the hall. I’m going to get these girls out of here because judging by the look on Ms. Reid’s face, she wants them anywhere but here.

As I reach them, Amy jumps into my arms and I squash the urge to pull her off me, instead going with the attentive boyfriend act I attempted when I texted her.

“We need to get out of here. She’s on to you guys and all it’s goi
ng to take is for her to call Daniels and we’re all screwed.”

Amy nods, Charlotte and Eve following suit and I’m struck again by how true
Isabelle’s words were. They really will follow along with just about anything that Amy does, right down to a random movement of her head.