Hearsay (5 page)

"Events will take their course. It is no good of being angry at them… he is happiest who wisely turns them to best account… yeah… right… Good one, Mom. Too bad it's easier said than done."

Not that he was still angry over the events that had changed his life. He'd had almost a year to accept and learn to live with them, so he was fine. But it was difficult to make the best out of his situation when he was still hung up on an impossible dream. Sometimes it felt as if he was destined to spend the rest of his life pining for a man he couldn't have.
 

He didn't want to think about what could have been, though. Whenever he did, he felt the urge to tear apart the person responsible for his misfortune. He would gladly throw James's body parts for the rats under the subway tracks to feast on. It'd serve that bastard right for screwing up Roman's life.

He closed the email from his mom and opened one from his work partner, Sergio Acosta. He had sent it to him and copied Alan Chadwick, the third partner in their law firm. The subject line took Roman by surprise. Pro bono cases waiting for approval was something they usually discussed during their bi-weekly meetings with the partner in charge of that department. That Sergio wanted to address something privately could only mean there was a problem.

Roman clicked on the attachment. His eyes opened as big as saucers when he read the name Sergio had highlighted on the document.
 

Child Molestation, submitted by Derrick Swain, Esquire.

Roman was out of his chair and walking down the hall faster than he'd moved since turning thirty, and that was over ten years ago. He was livid. How could his friend do this to him when he knew Roman couldn't have anything to do with Derrick?

He was so intent on strangling Sergio that he didn't notice Alan coming out of his own office.

"Hey, buddy," Alan greeted, falling in step with Roman. "I was about to stop by your office."

"You're never so cheery this early in the morning." Roman glanced at Alan, but he didn't stop walking. "And you haven't called me buddy since we graduated from law school. You're in on it, aren't you?"

"What are you talking about?" Alan flashed a mischievous smile and followed him to Sergio's office. "I only wanted to ask how it went last night."

Roman stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at Alan. "Dani hates me, doesn't she?"
 

His friend burst out laughing. "It wasn't that bad… was it?"

"You know I love her, but she needs to stop fixing me up." Roman shook his head and started walking. "I can't let her keep doing this to me. I mean it, Alan."

"She didn't try to fix you up with whatever his name was from last night." Alan followed him, ready to defend Dani's actions, per usual. Alan was crazy about his wife. She could do no wrong in his eyes. "She just asked you to please escort one of her business associates to the opera."

"Opera Illiterate should be his name," Roman quipped. "And she asked twenty times when I went to your place on Saturday, emailed me about it on Monday, and called me three more times from London after I'd told her that I wasn't interested."

"So she was a little insistent, but you know Dani." Alan smiled fondly. "She's stubborn and determined."

"This is the fourth time she's set me up with a man I'd never touch," Roman growled. "He wasn't even my type."
 

"But of course he wasn't," Alan mocked. "Not all men can look like Derrick Swain, you know?"

Roman took a deep breath and asked the heavens for patience.

"Dani wants to see you happy," Alan said. "We all do."

Roman was perfectly aware they worried about what they considered to be unnecessary withdrawal from life and confinement on his part. They wanted to see him have fun and enjoy himself with someone that wasn't a family member or one of his best friends, and Roman really appreciated them all for it. But this was an instance in which he needed them to back off. As supportive as they were, as understanding, they had yet to accept that Roman's life would never be the same.
 

"I know that, Alan," he said softly. "But going on dates won't change a thing. I tried, it didn't work. It's time to let it go."

"But—"

"Also, Dani's business associate ruined Don Giovanni for me."

"Uh oh," Sergio said from his position behind his desk when Roman and Alan entered his office. "Dani's in trouble. She should know better than to mess with Roman's enjoyment of that particular production."

"And you two should know better than to try to manipulate me to go anywhere near Derrick."

"Why should we do that?" Sergio got up and walked around his desk. "Why should we stand idly by while you continue to sabotage your happiness?"

"When did you come back from Spain, anyway?" Roman snapped.

"Last night."

"Didn't you say you wanted to spend a few days sunbathing in Mallorca? We weren't expecting you for another week."

"I changed my mind and got on a plane immediately after settling the case," Sergio said. "I sent you an email."

"It
is
past time you talked to the guy, Roman." Alan's expression was determined when he brought back the topic at hand. "If you tell him abo—"

Roman's stopped his friend's unsolicited advice with a gesture of his hand. "You have no say in this, Alan."

"Opera guy is the fifth guy you've rejected in the past—"

"And neither do you, Sergio," he barked. "I would
really
appreciate it if you guys stayed out of my romantic life."

"You have no romantic life to speak of, man." Alan rolled his eyes. "That's why we're trying to give you one."

"Do you really think we're going to watch you find faults in one man after the other until you turn sixty and your life is over?" Sergio sat on the corner of his desk and folded his arms over his chest. "Obviously you're still stuck on Derrick after months of avoiding him. Why not talk to him?"

"And tell him what's going on," Alan added.

"Forget what he said to you before," Sergio continued. "And allow him to clarify his position on the matter of sharing his life with a not entirely-healthy partner."

"I
know
his position on the matter," Roman grunted. He'd never forget how he felt when Derrick all but said that was something he'd never consider. "And saying I'm not entirely-healthy is just your way of being generous."

"People say shit they don't really mean all the time," Sergio noted.

Roman glared at the men that, more than his business partners, were like his brothers. He loved them to death, but sometimes he wanted to knock some sense into them. "You two need to mind your own business," he repeated tiredly. "How many times do I have to tell you that nothing Derrick may say will change the situation?"

He swallowed hard. Saying Derrick's name was as difficult as seeing him without having time to prepare for it. It twisted his insides and left him breathless.

"It will change if you only give him a chance," Sergio argued. "This doesn't have to be the end of the road for the two of you. You're a smart man, Roman. You should know that."

"He doesn't feel the same way," Roman said through clenched teeth. "He spent his childhood watching his mother die. He's afraid of going through a similar situation again. I— Fuck!" He rubbed his face and took a deep breath. "Do you really think I would've given up the opportunity to be with him if I thought we had a chance? I waited
years
to approach him."

"And now you've spent months hiding from him," Sergio's retort came immediately. "You're too scared to take a chance."

Yes, he was scared of getting rejected by Derrick, but there was more to his refusal to approach him. It wouldn't be fair to put Derrick in a position he'd already stated he wouldn't want to be in. But more importantly, it wouldn't be fair to put him at risk.
 

Roman closed his eyes and took deep, calming breaths. "I can't let myself hope," he croaked, looking at Sergio. "I can't do this to him."

"Then by all means, give up on being with the man you were fucking ready to ask to move in with you after only three days of talking to him in Central Park." Sergio's almost black eyes were so damn unnerving when he answered they almost made Roman squirm.
 

"You need to talk to him," Alan insisted, ignoring Roman's plea for them to drop the subject. Out of the three of them, Alan had always been the reckless one.

"And tell him what?" Roman mumbled. "I don't even know what's going to happen to me."

Sergio squeezed Roman's shoulder. "I can't pretend to know how deeply this has affected you, but not everything is black or white. Your life isn't over, Roman, and there's a chance Derrick won't think your situation is as dire as you believe."

"Besides, nothing unfathomable is going to happen to you," Alan said softly. "But if something did happen, you could get through it together."

"He still wants you," Sergio said. "I haven't missed the way he looks at you whenever you attend the monthly meetings with the associates."

Roman knew Sergio was right. As much as he avoided looking in Derrick's direction, he could still feel that intense amber gaze focused on him, silently asking for an explanation. Tempting him to stop running and pick things up right where he'd left them a year ago.

"I can't go there," Roman murmured. "I can't."
 

"Did you read the intake sheet for the case he submitted?" Sergio asked. "You have to."

Roman shook his head and turned toward the door. "I'm not interested."

"It's the kind of case you love, Roman," Alan told him. "A real challenge, from what I read."

Roman shrugged. "Let another lawyer thrive on defending it."

"Tyler Coleman's being accused of child molestation," Sergio oh-so-helpfully informed him. If it wasn't because he didn't want to look like a petulant child, Roman would've covered his ears with his hands. "By a fifteen-year-old who also claims he witnessed Tyler Coleman having sex with Derrick Swain in a public area at the Coleman Safe House."

Roman's entire body froze on the spot. His mind reeled from images of Derrick having sex with somebody else to mental calculations of the distance between him and the door. A few more steps and he would've been safe in the corridor.

He knew Tyler Coleman from his extensive social work to help gay homeless kids in New York City. Even if the kids came from out of state, they were sure to find the Coleman Safe House's doors open. The place was a much-needed haven for youth mostly facing negative family reactions to their sexuality, and a cause Roman donated to regularly.
 

Up until the second he was told Derrick might be involved with him, Tyler Coleman had been one of Roman's favorite LGBTQ activists. He admired the guy for standing up to bigots and homophobes and helping teenagers overcome rejection at the hands of the families that were supposed to protect them. But now he just wanted to make him disappear off the face of the earth.

"I heard they were living together," Alan informed. "Derrick and Coleman, that is."
 

"Did you, really? It must've been a while ago, because
I
heard he got engaged to some court reporter when gay marriage was declared legal in the state. Derrick got engaged. Not Coleman," Sergio said.

A bitter chuckle escaped Roman at the affected casualness of Sergio's tone. He understood the good intentions behind his friends' manipulative ways, but he couldn't deal with it. Not when he was so painfully aware of how life had taken him and Derrick in different directions.
 

"What if I told you guys I might be over my little infatuation with Derrick?" Roman asked softly, his eyes fixed on the corridor. It was quiet as usual, as only the three senior partners of ABC and their respective assistants were on the thirtieth floor.
 

"Are you, now?" Obviously Sergio didn't believe him.

"I could be," he tried again.

"Even if you were, he's still an employee of this firm, and let's not forget there's a possible indecent exposure charge floating around," Sergio added. "You know that accusation won't magically go away. If I know DA Dennis Lovett at all, he will use this situation to his advantage. He has a hard on for you, Roman. You were a pain in his ass when he was still trying cases before his inauguration as District Attorney. I lost count of how many cases he lost to you, but, I can assure you, he hasn't. And now that he's running for Attorney General…" Sergio rubbed the back of his neck. "He's a homophobic Republican counting on the vote of religious zealots to win that seat. Election is in a month. Prosecuting an alleged child molester will give him the media exposure he so desperately needs. Whether you want to admit it or not, you know he's already all over this case, and we have a time bomb in our hands. Derrick could be arrested at any time, and ABC will be involved in a public relations nightmare."

"He needs your help, Roman."

"No, Alan. He doesn't." Same as Roman didn't need to be anywhere near Derrick and his rumored lover. "He only needs a good criminal defense attorney, and this firm has plenty. You can assign the case to any one of them, and both Derrick and Tyler Coleman will still have the best."

"I don't need to tell you child molestation cases are rather complicated. You've defended plenty of them," Sergio said. "But Lovett has an agenda. Derrick and Coleman will have a better chance if an attorney with your experience takes on their defense."

"That's not going to happen." Roman shook his head. "I know Lovett's been consistently down in the polls, and, yes, prosecuting a sex offender will look great on his resume come election time. He probably will. That's the kind of shit a scumbag like Lovett would do. But I don't believe he'll go after Derrick."

"You mean, you hope he won't," Sergio mocked. "We need to be prepared anyway."

That was true. The negative press related to one of their attorneys being arrested on a felony charge could be lethal for the firm, not to mention, the Coleman Safe House. All those kids would be out of a place to sleep.