Heart Ache (Bound by a Touch Novels #1) (2 page)

Goddess, Nikolai hoped Gabby was coming in today.

He needed her like a drowning man needed air! His entire life had fallen apart in the short time she’d been recovering from the flu. This morning alone, he’d nearly climbed into the damned filing cabinet and still couldn’t find the file he required. He slammed the drawer and scanned his office for where he should search next.

Thump-thump.

Thump-thump.

His blood sensed her a split second before he heard her.

The door to his office opened. Her tropical scent flooded the room; coconut and lemongrass. Her breath hitched. “Hey. I didn’t expect you to be here this early.”

His whole body warmed at the sound of her sweet voice. Thankfully his back faced the doorway. He needed a minute to compose himself. He took a deep breath, listening to her movements as she approached.

“
Niko? Are you okay?”

Every footstep, every whisper of her clothing screamed through the silent air to his sensitive hearing as she crossed the room to him. He braced himself for the moment when he would turn and face the female who haunted his days, his nights, and every moment in between.

The light touch of her fingers brushing over his shoulder wasn’t necessarily a surprise, but knowledge didn’t stop the sharp intake of breath and his jump at her contact.

Startled by his reaction, she gasped, a quiet cooing sound that was nearly his undoing.

He turned with solemn reverence to observe the angel in front of him. He had to remind himself to keep his expression in check as he forced an emotionless smile.

Gabrielle Ryan, with her shiny auburn hair, her porcelain skin, and slim, toned body, caused every part of him to react to her mere presence. Her blue eyes searched his eyes, his face.

“
I’m sorry. I thought you heard me come in.”

“
You just surprised me.” He couldn’t very well tell her he craved her touch more than his next breath.

Her hand moved to touch the bare skin where his shirt had been rolled way from his forearm. Her brows crinkled. “Are you okay?”

“
Yes. Are you feeling better?”

She smiled. “Much.”

“
Glad to hear it. I hope you had a nice weekend?”

Weekends were an excruciating reality that bit him in the ass two days out of every seven. It was those two days he missed her like a man possessed. It was those two days he fretted over her social calendar. Gabby was beautiful and, to Nikolai’s horror, he wasn’t the only male–vampire or human–who’d noticed.

“
My weekend was okay,” she whispered, using her bejeweled left hand to brush a curl away from her cheek.

Oh, sweet Goddess, no.

His stomach rolled, his heart threatened to beat right out of his chest, as he saw the pathetic excuse for a diamond that had been placed on her finger by a male who wasn’t him.

He choked back his wounded pride and breaking heart. “What’s that on your finger, Gabby?”

She took a deep breath, holding it for moment before exhaling. Her cheeks flooded with color and her eyes suddenly found the carpeting the most interesting thing in the room.

“
I’m engaged.”

“
Oh,” he breathed–or tried to.

Her voice hummed as she went on about flowers and knees and rings. All he could do was swallow over and over to keep the bile in his stomach. His worst fear was coming to fruition. While he’d waited for her to come to him, she’d found love in the arms of another male. A human male!

The grinding of his teeth ricocheted through his head. His knuckles curled, forming tight fists, and, when his nails bit into the flesh of his palms, he realized this wasn’t a horrible nightmare. He cleared his throat and stared into her dark blue eyes.

For the first time since she’d come to work for him three years ago, and his heart began to beat in her presence, Nikolai took her into his arms. He buried his face in the locks of her hair, enveloping himself in the scent that was exclusively Gabrielle.

His eyes burned and his throat tightened. He breathed her in, holding a piece of her within himself.

She didn’t return his embrace; instead she went stiff as a board and stopped breathing. This was nothing like the dream that touched his mind every time he slept; the dream where she accelerated the hug into something more, leading Nikolai to heaven one blessed kiss at a time.

He had to reach deep for the strength to speak. “You deserve all the happiness this life has to offer.”

“
Thank you.” Her small, warm hands pressed against his chest. He looked down into her face; a blush was aflame amongst the deer-caught-in-the-headlights expression. She tried to smile, which looked more like a grimace.

With his heart heavy as lead in his chest, he took a step back and reluctantly released his hold on her fingertips.
Dammit!
He hadn’t meant to embarrass her—or himself—only to convey how much he cared for her. If he didn’t get away from her, he might just grab hold and never let go.

“
I’ve got a lot of work to catch up on.” His footsteps were heavier than he intended as he strode over to the door, basically inviting her to leave. “I do not wish to be disturbed for any reason—” His eyes met hers. “—by
any
one.”

She nodded, leaving the question on her face and in her eyes, unasked.

He closed the door behind her, waited a heartbeat, and vaporized right into Gustav’s bedroom.

“
What the hell do you want, little brother?” the older vampire snarled from behind the heavy draperies of his king-sized bed. “I will never understand why you prefer to be awake while the damn sun is shining.”

Nikolai didn’t respond. He simply crossed the room and lowered his large body into the high-, wing-backed, cherry wood chair which lately had a permanent impression of his backside.

“
Let me guess—” Gustav whispered something, then chuckled. “—this wouldn’t have anything to do with the captivating Gabrielle, would it?”

“
Shall I add psychic to the list of your many talents, brother?”

Another low chuckle rumbled from the bed, followed by a feminine sigh. “You need to go, darling.” A high-pitched groan of protest, then a kiss. “We’ll get together again soon.”

He recognized his brother’s words as a lie.

“
Promise?” Apparently, so did she.

“
Of course. Now, go.”

Nikolai felt the displacement of matter signifying the female’s departure. Gustav had a harem of beautiful females, all frantic to occupy his bed. Unfortunately for them, none were ever given the honor of more than a few hours.

His brother’s sexual habits bothered Niko, but in this excruciating moment, he couldn’t care less if the male was a malewhore. His heart seemed to be crumbling in his chest. He hadn’t been able to draw a deep breath since he’d noticed the shiny sign of possession on Gabby’s finger. His molars protested against the unceasing grinding. He was going to lose his mind!

“
I’ve already sent home my
companion
. Are you going to tell me why you’re keeping me from my beauty sleep?”

“
She’s engaged.” Nikolai cringed at the emotion in his nearly silent voice.

“
Congratulations!” Gustav yanked back the burgundy curtains which made the gold fringe wave violently. “It’s about damn ti-”

He could only guess how pitiful he looked and Gustav’s cut off words only validated his torment. He stared at the floor, weaving his fingers through the long strands of his hair and tugged.

Gustav’s hand clamped down on his brother’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “Oh. I’m sorry, Niko, but…”

His head snapped up, nailing Gustav with a hard, cold stare. He felt the silver in his dark eyes flash and knew Gustav would be able to read every one of his emotions.

“
Do you think an ‘I-told-you-so’ is really what I need, Gustav?”

He shook his head. “It’s not too late. You can still bite her.”

“
And watch her die when she refuses to be changed?” Niko’s hands tightened on the arms of the chair until the wood protested. “I could never do that to her. I would rather be alone for eternity than live with the knowledge of her early demise.” He let his head fall loosely against the wall behind the chair, relishing the thud.

“
Just claim her, Nikolai. It’ll work out. It did for—”

“
For who?
Tatal
?” He growled through clenched teeth. “Yeah, it took years for
Mamei
to learn to love him, but she never cherished him. She may not have hated him, but that’s not what I want from Gabrielle. She holds my heart, Gustav, and I want hers. But I won’t take it. She has to give it to me.”

Gustav shoved fingers through hair that resembled a crazed porcupine. “I understand that. Not that I have any interest in such a thing, but you must remember that finding a heartmate—”

“—
is a precious gift,” Niko finished the mantra spoken often by his kind. “I know. I just want her to love me.”

“
She will learn to love you after her change.” Gustav ran his hands through his light brown hair again.

“
She’s already had three years!”

Nikolai got to his feet, reminding his brother that he was still taller, more formidable than the elder immortal. He got right in Gustav’s face, glaring down into charcoal eyes that flashed black.

“
Don’t you get it? Three damned years I’ve been tormented with the hope of capturing her heart. Instead she has given it to another; someone completely unworthy of her.” His tirade died a quick death and he wished for the same.

Gustav plopped down in the chair Niko had vacated, crossing bare feet at the ankles. “It’s not like you’ve actually tried to court her.”

Nikolai glared at his brother. “I’ve sent her flowers.”

A boisterous, mocking laugh burst from Gustav as he jumped to his feet, his finger coming in contact with Niko’s chest.

“
On
Secretary’s Day!
That hardly counts as a romantic gesture.”

“
I arranged for her to get roses, everyone else got carnations.”

Gustav still laughed, and added shaking his head to his repertoire of disapproving movements. “And you expected her to notice that? Come on. You’re talking to the guy who can’t remember the name of the female who just popped out of here.”

“
Exactly.”

“
But I know you don’t send flowers to every woman in the company and expect her to read something special into the ones you sent her.”

“
We’ve had dinner together.” Nikolai quickly re-played the events of the last three years, searching for ammunition against his brother’s arrogance. There wasn’t much.

“
Chinese take-out delivered to the office doesn’t count either.” Gustav tapped Nikolai in the chest, each poke becoming harder. “You have a choice to make, dear brother. Let her go, which will make you utterly miserable for eternity,
or
find your balls and go after what the Goddess has given you.”

Nikolai couldn’t look at Gustav, so he concentrated on his brother’s bare feet and legs.

“
So, what are you going to do?” Gustav asked.

Nikolai pondered the question.

What
would
he do now?

He knew what he
should
do.

But could he walk away from the woman fate, and the Goddess, meant to be his?

Chapter Two

The flash of pain in his eyes had given her a glimpse of what she’d hoped for, but it was gone faster than it’d appeared. His entire reaction had surprised her. And not in the way she’d hoped.

When he’d tugged her into his arms and held her against his chest, his heart beat steadily beneath her ear. His shirt had been soft against her cheek. His cologne always made her knees go weak. She’d dreamed of him taking her into his arms, but the action had been so unexpected she’d straightened like a board and pushed him away.

Idiot!

Then he’d dismissed her, locking himself away from the world. Away from her.

It was just plain sad she had to remind herself to be cheerful as she shared her news with her nearest and dearest. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the expression on Niko’s face. Her heart clenched. She stared at the closed door, wishing she could take the last few minutes back, rewind the clock, and do things so very differently. More than anything she wanted him to wrap her in another embrace, to hold her close, and never let go.

In her mind’s eye she called up the sadness beneath the attempt at nonchalance. She didn’t understand his expression.

He had always been so kind to her, but he’d never given her any reason to believe he felt anything beyond a working relationship.

She, however, was crazy attracted to him; the way he ran his fingers through his jet black hair when he was frustrated, the way his obsidian eyes flashed silver when he was upset, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. He had a way of making her insides turn to mush, her knees to boiled spaghetti noodles with an innocent wink.