Heart and Snow (Texas Highlanders Ice Hockey) (20 page)

He took her hand, wrapping it in his much larger ones. Hers were warm, almost too hot. “I realized that I didn’t want my daughter to grow up like that, not knowing what good parents do. I don’t know how to be a dad. I never had one, not really. He was never there. He never cared enough to be there. Drinking, and hockey, and winning the game were all that ever mattered to him. My mom knew that, but still, it took my dad getting arrested to convince her of the truth.”

“What truth is that?”

“That my dad was a big drunk, and he wasn’t any kind of dad at all. My mom tried, you know, to be both mom and dad to me. But I think that we both knew it didn’t work. She wasn’t willing to put forth the effort.”

“The game is important.” He felt her start to pull back, but he kept her hand. “But you and this baby are more important. I don’t need a dad to tell me how to be one. I look around and I see great dads. Out on the ice, during the games, I see dads with their kids, showing them the rules and spending that time with them. I see John, when his daughter shows up at practice, even though she’s an adult. I see Ed, when he’s with you. I want that.” He paused.

“Really? I mean, you want to do this with me?” She looked so disbelieving, it hurt him. Had he been that distant with her, that scared of a child?

“Yes. These are all people that I admire, Jo. I didn’t know why I did until now. I admire them because they are great parents. They are good people. My dad is good people… but he’s a lousy dad, and he knows it.”

“Playing hockey is all you ever wanted, Cody. A baby will interfere with that. And I’m not willing to have a husband that only wants to be a part-time dad.”

“If it comes to that, that I’m not around enough, I’ll retire at the end of my contract next year, Jo. Hell, if you want me too, I’ll buy out the last year and stay home with you.”

“That would be insanely expensive.”

“I know.”

A sob racked her frame, and tears rolled down her cheeks. God, he hated the crying.

“Jo, please. Don’t cry. Don’t be upset.”

“I’m not crying because I’m upset, Cody.” She snapped, her voice submerged in her teary state. “I’m crying because I love you. I came here with the intention of staying. You know, if you want me to.”

“What?” he whispered, but only because his voice had left him. “You’re staying?”

“I don’t want to live without you. I love you and your stupid video game addiction, and the way your stupid socks end up all over my floor and how you hold me at night, tight like I might get away if you don’t.”

He leaned over, and wiped away her tears with his thumbs.

He cupped her face. “I love you, too. We’re a family. I never knew what that was before. You taught it to me.”

She sobbed out a laugh, and slammed her fist on the table. “Fucking tears. I hate this shit.”

“I love the way you curse when you cry.”

“It’s the stupid fucking pregnancy hormones. I can’t stop it.”

“Then don’t. Come here.” He pulled her by her hand so she stood. He settled her in his lap.

“I’m too heavy for this.” She tried to hold up her weight from him, but he gently lifted her in his arms, so she sat across his lap.

“You’re perfect.” He nuzzled her neck, and kissed where he’d nuzzled. “I’m not going to let you leave me again.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in the crook of his neck. He tightened his arms around her, careful of her stomach. But even then, he brushed her belly, and the baby kicked his arm.

“I don’t want to leave.”

For the longest, they sat there, not saying anything. Jo settled her head against him, her ear against his shoulder. Her eyes fluttered closed, but her grip didn’t loosen. Instead, he held her, the two of them simply being there for each other.

He could have stayed there forever, if possible.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Week Thirty-Six

Cody parked the car with all Jo’s clothes and stuff in it inside the garage. Jo had wanted to help the man, but he’d insisted on loading the SUV, and also driving. He hadn’t even let her touch the keys. Just mumbled something about repair bills and loaded all her stuff in the car.

Coming home this time felt good. The house didn’t seem so ominous as the two of them entered. In fact, as she crossed the threshold, a sigh of relief escaped her. It had been too long since she’d been home.

“Don’t get me wrong,” she started. “I love my parents, but it’s good to be home.”

Cody grinned and set down some of the bags he’d brought in. She shrieked as he swept her into his arms, and his head lowered to kiss her. She tilted her head up to receive him, but he stopped, centimeters from her mouth, and whispered. “You belong here.”

HIs lips pressed against hers, so she couldn’t tell him that she agreed with him. Instead, she melted against him. His lips were warm, commanding, forceful yet she knew she could have pulled away at any time and he’d have let her go.

A few seconds later, he pulled away, and a mischievous expression pulled the corners of his mouth up. “I have a surprise for you.”

“Oh, really? Driving me six hours home and sitting through a baby shower with a bunch of tough guy hockey players isn’t enough? I get more?” Not that she’d minded that at all. Everyone had been sweet to her the week before at the shower. She and Cody had walked back into the living room holding hands, and immediately, she’d been bombarded with presents and cake for the next two hours. Cody had sat by her the entire time, his arm lazily strewn over the couch behind her, his fingers tracing soft circles around her shoulder blades. It had been perfect.

“No, that’s not enough,” Cody shook his head. He took her hand and pulled her toward the stairwell. “Come on, it’s upstairs.”

“Okay, okay,” Jo said, and gently stepped up the stairs behind Cody. The weight she was carrying affected her movements a lot. She totally understood why the pregnancy waddle was a thing now. She couldn’t help but do it herself. She had enough trouble with breathing, since

Once she reached the top of the stairs, Cody stopped her. “Cover your eyes.”

“Why?”

Cody heaved a dramatic sigh. “Because it’s a surprise.”

She glared at him, but she closed her eyes anyway. Taking her hand, he led her down the hallway. He let her set the pace, but every once in a while, she felt his impatient tug. She heard him open a door and the way he maneuvered her made her think that she’d entered a room. Curiosity burned in her, and she squeezed her eyes shut, fighting the impatience that bubbled inside her.

“Okay, open ‘em,” Cody’s low voice commanded, sending shivers up her spine. If only she didn’t feel like a beached whale. She could have thrown him on the floor and had her way with him.

But open her eyes, she did. When she blinked, letting her eyes adjust, she couldn’t stop the gasp. It was the baby’s room. Except he’d set up the whole thing. The crib was in the corner, lined with pastel green sheets with baby animals on them. The decals of the matching animals they’d picked out frolicked and played with each other on the wall. The desk and chair were gone. All the boxes were gone. There was even a small matching area carpet beneath her feet. The changing table was stocked with baby wipes and diapers, a couple of tubes of creams and washcloths. Next to the changing table was the diaper can. Everything was there, exactly as they’d talked about.

Hanging on one of the drawer knobs was that stupid onesie, with the cupcake on the front that said “Daddy’s Girl.” She almost choked on tears, and covered her mouth as she gazed over every inch of the room.

“You could talk or say something now, sweetness.”

Jo caught her breath and turned toward Cody. “You did this. All of it?”

He nodded. His sheepish boy grin showed all his vulnerabilities. “I came home from the last road trip and did it before the baby shower.”

“I can’t believe you did all this.” Jo felt her eyes watering and quickly she swiped at her eyes. She was so sick of crying.

“You weren’t here,” he said. “I went to bed, and I was alone. We always hung out after long road games. I didn’t want to sleep without you there.” He paused and added, “Does that strip me of my man card?”

“No,” Jo replied, laughing. “I can’t believe you did this all because you had a case of insomnia.”

“I wanted you to know that I’m serious. This—” He gestured between them, “and this—” he placed his hand on her belly, “is all I want. I could forget everything else. I could forget my dad, my friends, hockey. I’d forget all of it, as long as I have you… and her.” His hand warmed her belly, and she swore the baby gave her father an affectionate kick.

“God, I love you. So fucking much it hurts.” She wiped her eyes again, and kissed him.

“I’m not really sure if that’s a good thing.”

“It is. It’s a good hurt.”

He pulled her into his arms, her back against his chest and rested his chin on her head. There was something safe about being in his arms. Like she could tackle the world with him there. She glanced down at her belly while Cody started talking about the plans he had to change the room as the baby got older.

You’re a lucky girl
, she told her stomach. The answering kick felt almost like an affirmation.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Week Thirty-Eight

The buzzer sounded the end of the second period. Grateful for the break, Cody skated off the ice to the locker room. Plopping down on the bench, he tore off his helmet and threw it into his cubby. His hair dangled, wet and clumpy over his face.

He swept it back and took another swig of his drink as Charbonneau tossed his stick down and sat down next to him. “Check your phone, man.”

Cody’s internal alarms went off. He practically dove for his phone, digging in his bag for it. Jo was practically bursting these days, and he didn’t want to miss her call. He finally found the phone and checked through it.

One text message. From Jo. His hands shook as he opened it.

Heading to the hospital. Getting contractions, but doc says it’s not time yet. No rush. Finish the game.

“Is she fucking kidding me? Finish the game?”

“Val called the coach a few minutes ago. She’s up there with her now.”

“She sent me a fucking text message.” Cody stared at his phone in disbelief. Who told their husband they were in labor via text message?

“You should go.” Charbonneau said. “We can put Williams in for you.”

Cody nodded. “She says it’s not time yet.”

“That can change at any point. Go be with your wife.”

Cody shot up and started to head for the door.

“Cody.” He turned back around and glanced with questions at his captain. John pointed to his feet. “Your skates. Your uniform. Keys.”

“Oh, right.”

Cody rushed back to change, but opted instead to just take out the gear and go with the game jersey. He hurried to put his shoes on. Meanwhile, the guys congratulated him, clapped him on the back, but all Cody could think about was getting to Jo.

She was two weeks early, and they were smack dab in the middle of the final playoff run. If they won this run, they were in the Stanley Cup. It was everything he’d dreamed and yet, he didn’t care. He wanted to be with Jo.

He rushed to the hospital, his mind singularly on getting there. He barely remembered getting there. Barely remembered getting out of the car and heading up to Labor and Delivery or rushing down the hall to the room they’d reserved for the birth.

He checked in with the nurse and burst into the room. Jo sat on the bed, an IV in her hand, and a monitor clamped on her finger.

“Jo, are you okay?” He slid into the seat beside her and glanced around at the empty room. “Did you drive here?”

She nodded. “No. Val drove. She wouldn’t let me drive. She’s downstairs getting coffee.”

Okay, that was good. He didn’t want to imagine his very pregnant, in labor wife driving a car along one of Texas’s most heavily trafficked highways.

“Contractions are ten minutes apart. They said it’s too early, but I wasn’t sure when your game would end, and I didn’t want to miss being able to drive here if you couldn’t make it.” She paused. “Is the game over already?”

“No. Third period is probably starting now.”

Jo’s jaw dropped. “You left the game. Cody, are you kidding me? It’s the playoffs!” She grabbed the remote from the hospital tray and turned on the TV. She flipped through until she found the game. He threaded his fingers in hers and glanced up at the score. “Oh, my god, you guys are winning, and you’re here.” She shook her head.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

She glanced at him, the most bewildered expression on her face. “You’re here.”

“Yes.” He sat there with his wife for another forty-five minutes while she watched the Highlanders win their game and secure a spot in the Stanley Cup semi-finals. He cared about the game. There was no denying that, but the ease with which she cared for him so much that she’d watch the game left him filled with adoration for her.

After the game was over, Jo’s contractions started coming more frequently. The nurses were in and out, and suddenly, Cody felt useless. He stepped back, watching as they hooked up all kinds of machines to her. Did they really need to monitor her that closely? It worried him, that this was somehow a dangerous endeavor. What if something happened to her during the birth? That happened, right? Where women died during childbirth?

“Cody.” Jo’s voice caught his attention. She held out her hand, beckoning him closer. “Come here.” His feet obeyed before his mind caught up enough to realize she’d spoken a command. “You’re pacing. And you look pale. Are you about to pass out on me?” She took his hand gently, her thumb rubbing over the back of his hand.

“No,” he said.

“Okay, good. Just remember, if you have to puke, there’s a trashcan outside the room.”

“Outside?”

“Yeah, because if you puke in that one over there, you’ll stink up the room and I’m trying to have a baby here.” She leaned back, her hand still in his. He glanced down. Her hand was pretty small. It was hard to believe that there would be a smaller hand than hers in a few hours.