Heart Block (34 page)

Sarah looked up at her solemnly. “I do trust you, Emory. Know that.”

Emory nodded, took a seat next to Sarah, and together they ate in companionable silence. Once Sarah had gulped down the last bite, Emory cleared their plates and put the dishes away. “Think you could try to get in a little nap?”

“Nope. I’d like to go back to the hospital now.”

“Don’t you think it will be better for everyone in the long run if you’re firing on all cylinders and capable of rational thought? How about ninety minutes?”

Sarah exhaled deeply. “I need to be with Grace.”

“And you will be. Forty-five minutes.”

“Fine.” She was annoyed now and it showed. “I’ll try if it will shut everyone up.”

“It will. We will all shut up. I promise.” Emory walked with her to the bedroom, pulled the sheets back, and fluffed the pillow.

Sarah climbed into the bed, still shaking her head in frustration.

“Do this for Grace. She’s a talkative kid and will need your full attention later when she wakes up.”

Sarah offered her a reluctant smile. Emory tucked her in snugly and placed a reassuring kiss on her forehead.

“Em?” Sarah said as she turned to go.

“Yeah.”

“Thank you. For helping me through this.”

“How could I not?”

Her eyes met Emory’s and something important passed between them. Regardless of everything, it was understood that they mattered to each other. Finally, Sarah nodded and turned onto her side.

In the living room, Emory stretched out on the couch, not having slept in some time herself. The apartment was small, however, and the unmistakable sound of Sarah tossing and turning in the other room had hold of her attention. It wasn’t long before she heard footsteps in the hallway. She sat up and there was Sarah, eyes haunted. “I don’t want to be alone right now. Do you think you could lay in there with me?”

Emory hated seeing Sarah so crumpled in, so afraid. “Of course I will.” She took Sarah’s hand and led her gently back to her room. Hesitating only for a moment, she climbed into the bed next to Sarah, who snuggled into her automatically. With Sarah’s head on her shoulder, Emory acted on instinct, wrapped her arms tightly around her, and whispered in her ear. “I’ve got you. Try to sleep now.”

Sarah clung tightly to her and it was less than five minutes before Emory recognized the even breathing. She stared at the ceiling and silently asked God to watch over Sarah and give Grace the opportunity to live a normal, healthy life from here on out. For that, she’d do absolutely anything.

*

Back at the hospital, Sarah was in slightly better spirits. She could think rationally and process the world around her more effectively. The short nap had made all the difference in the world.

Her mother, who’d stayed with Grace when they’d left, had agreed to take a similar trip to her own house. That left her alone in the waiting room with Emory. She looked over at her. “If I haven’t said it, I’m glad you came. You put me back on track when I was just about to lose it. I was snapping at everyone. I didn’t know how else to cope.”

“Given the circumstances, I think you’re doing just fine. I remember the day my mother was brought in and the way that I felt. Helpless, angry, lonely, sad.”

The idea of Emory dealing with that loss alone made Sarah’s heart ache. She wished she’d been there for her, wished she’d known.

“I didn’t handle it so well. I beat the hell out of a vending machine when it wouldn’t take my dollar.”

Something sparked in Sarah’s memory.

She sat forward in her chair and turned to Emory. “Grace was admitted to this hospital on May seventeenth when she first fainted in her classroom.”

Emory tilted her head curiously. “That’s the day my mother died. May seventeenth. It was at this hospital too.”

Sarah nodded as the understanding overtook her. “I think I bought you a Diet Coke that day.”

Emory held her gaze for a long moment. “No. That was you? That day at the machine?”

Sarah nodded. “I didn’t know it until just now, but yeah.”

Emory nodded, her eyes glistened. “I guess we’ve been there for each other longer than we realized.”

“Emory,” Sarah whispered achingly. She picked up her hand, needing the closeness. “Tell me that you were just scared that last day on the beach.”

Emory met her eyes and nodded. “For you.”

Sarah’s stomach muscles tightened reflexively. “And now?”

“I think—”

It was then that a nurse burst into the room. “Matamoros family, come with me right now!”

Sarah felt the blood drain from her face as terror infused her. She exchanged a glance with Emory and stood, staggering, but Emory caught her and practically carried her down the hallway after the nurse. Each step seemed to take a lifetime, each sound of her tennis shoe punctuated with a desperate prayer. As they passed, the sounds from the nurses’ station seemed way too loud. What was wrong? What had happened?
Please, God, not this.

When she rounded the corner into the room, her daughter, her everything, smiled up weakly at her. “Grace?” she managed. Her knees threatened to buckle again, but Emory steadied her from behind.

Grace held out her hand and Sarah didn’t hesitate, moving to her side and kissing her adorable little face. “Hiya, kiddo.”

“Hi, Mama.” They were the most wonderful words in the history of words.

As she explained to a slightly disoriented Grace why she was in the hospital, Sarah could simultaneously hear Emory in the hallway quietly dealing with the nurse who’d taken ten years off their lives. Sarah looked up and smiled as she rejoined them, listening quietly from the doorway as Grace chatted away.

*

Later the next afternoon, Dr. Riggs had Grace transferred from ICU to a regular room two halls over. Visiting hours were relaxed and Sarah was able to spend more time with Grace, a welcome contrast to the hellish isolation of the waiting room. But the morning had tired Grace out and she dozed soundly in her hospital bed, as always immune to the sounds around her as visitors came and went.

Emory had excused herself to the hallway to make a few calls, which left Sarah alone with her mother. “It’s nice that Emory is here with you.”

Sarah regarded her mother, taking stock of the situation. “I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.”

Her mother hesitated a moment, seeming to decide what she wanted to say next. “Carmen mentioned something yesterday. About Emory meaning a lot to you.”

Sarah didn’t hesitate. It was time to put all her cards on the table and speak from the heart. “More than a lot, Mama. I’m in love with her.”

The declaration was met with silence, but she’d prepared herself for that and worse months ago. It didn’t scare her in the same way anymore.

“I’m sorry if that upsets you or shakes up your idea of what my life should be, but it’s the truth and I wouldn’t change it.”

Her mother sighed and Sarah waited to hear what she would say. “This may surprise you, but I suspected.”

It more than surprised her. Sarah was floored. “You did?”

“At the birthday party. It was the way you looked at her. Like she’d hung the moon. The way your father used to look at me. That kind of look is hard to miss.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I don’t think it was something I was ready to think about. This old lady needed some time. But after a while, you just seemed so happy, in a way I had never seen you before, and that made
me
happy. There was a light in your eyes, mija, the light I’d always hoped you’d have one day. But that light is gone now. Am I right?”

Sarah nodded, a stab of remembered hurt hit her hard and deep. “We stopped seeing each other.”

“I see. And is that what you want?” Sarah could tell this wasn’t easy for her mother, but she was trying, and the least she could do was be forthright. She shook her head.

Her mother took a deep breath and kissed her on the cheek. “Then get the light back, mija.”

*

Emory didn’t want to interrupt. Sarah was having what looked to be a serious conversation with her mother. She watched through the small window in the hospital room door for just a moment before backing away to give them privacy.

There would be a lot to handle in the next couple of days to get Grace home and recuperated fully. Once word of her recovery got out, the cavalry had showed up in full force. Her family and friends crowded the waiting room, dropping off gifts and food. There wasn’t a ton she could do, and Sarah did have an amazing support system in her family, she reminded herself. So she took a last glance through the window as she pulled her car keys from her pocket. She watched for a moment as Sarah and her mother talked. Sarah was smiling, and she couldn’t help but smile too as something within her clicked into place.

All was well.

Finally, she forced herself to look away and headed off resolutely down the hallway. Because there was something she could do for Sarah. So she found the elevator that would take her down to the lobby, and out of the hospital.

*

Sarah checked the nurse’s station, the waiting room, even the women’s restroom for Emory. She was nowhere. The talk with her mother had only confirmed what she already knew and set her on her way. Her heart was beating rapidly in anticipation of everything she was ready to say.

It was time to put it all on the line.

The elevator chime snagged her attention and she turned as Carmen emerged carrying a giant balloon bouquet. When her eyes settled on Sarah, her face shifted to one of concern. “Hey, you. What’s up?”

Sarah nodded her head a few times too many with all the nervous energy that rushed through her. “Remember what we talked about in the park, about Emory?”

Carmen shifted her bag to the other shoulder and studied Sarah in confusion. “Yeah.”

“I think I’m ready to do that fighting thing you talked about.”

An extra wide smile broke out across Carmen’s face. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”

“Any last-minute advice?”

“Say what’s in your heart. You can do this. I know you can. One of my all-time favorite quotes says ‘Life is like a movie. Write your own ending.’ And that’s what you’re going to do today.”

Sarah thought on this and brightened. “Who said that? I like it.”

“Kermit the Frog.” Carmen held up her hands in defense. “What can I say? I spend a lot of time with people under the age of ten. It still applies.”

Sarah laughed. “Now I just have to find her.”

Carmen gestured behind her. “She got off the elevator just as I got on. She had her keys in her hand.”

“Keys? But she didn’t even say good—” That’s when the horrible realization hit. “I have to go.” She took the stairs because elevators were unpredictable. Bad idea. After racing down the six flights, she was wildly out of breath and the parking lot was huge. She stood on a cement bench and scanned the rows of cars. There she was.

Not too late.

Write your own ending
.

Encouraged by Kermit and the surefire fact that she loved Emory more than anything, she covered the distance to the car just as Emory was about to slide in.

“Em, wait. Don’t go. There’s something I need to say.”

Emory turned curiously and pointed at the hospital, tilting her head in question. “Did you just—”

“Yes, but that’s not important. Please just let me say what I need to say.”

Emory opened her mouth and then closed it again, seeming to honor the request.

“You can’t leave. I get why you walked away before, but I shouldn’t have let you. I should have told you that I love you. Because I do, love you, I mean. And I’m asking you to build a life with us, Emory, and to give me what I never knew I needed. I want to make plans with you and change them as we go. I want the fights and the day-to-day and the milestones and the make-up sex and all the snarls and tribulations that come with being together. It’s going to take work, and things are not always going to be perfect. But we’ll work on it. We’ll figure it out as a family.”

A soft smile appeared on Emory’s face as tears touched her eyes. “A family?”

Sarah nodded and took a step in. “Yeah. You, Grace, and me. We’re a team. So don’t go.”

Emory paused and slid a glance to her car and then back to Sarah. “So you don’t want the Whopper?”

“What?”

“Lunch. I was going to pick us up something to eat. A certain someone favors Burger King if I remember correctly.”

Sarah stared at Emory in confusion until the happy understanding settled. “You’re not fleeing the scene,” she breathed.

Emory covered the short distance that separated them, pulled Sarah in, and kissed her the way she’d imagined kissing her for the past six weeks. She sighed into perfection. “Nope.”

Sarah was cradling her face, and as much as she wanted to kiss her again, there were things she needed to address. “But there have to be terms.”

“Terms?” Sarah’s eyes widened. “Okay, what are the terms?”

“I love you.”

Sarah smiled, taking it in. “I think I can live with that one.”

“And you have to believe that I don’t fall in love with just anybody. In fact, I have very high standards and always have.” She picked up Sarah’s hand and threaded their fingers. “I happen to think that you are the most wonderfully smart, funny, and beautiful woman I have ever encountered. And I need you to accept that about yourself.”

It was Sarah’s eyes that filled then and her voice was meek. “I can do that. I can try and do that.”

They held each other’s gaze, the electricity between them already in full force. Emory’s voice was quiet and a small smile tentatively took shape on her face. “So we’re agreed?”

“We are.”

“One last thing.”

“All right.”

Emory took a breath and tilted her head sideways. “Can you say it again?”

Sarah smiled. “Emory, I love you. I don’t know why I thought it would be hard to say, because it’s not. I love who we are when we’re together and I love who I think we’re capable of becoming.”

“God, I love you too.” Emory squeezed Sarah’s hand. “And I’m so glad I thought to get the damn cheeseburgers.” They both laughed and there was only one thing left to do. Her eyes dropped languidly to Sarah’s lips as she moved in ever so slightly. “We should probably shake on it or something.”