Heart Of Texas (Historical Romance) (21 page)

"Gabe does not need us to help look for his
woman. He has found her. Let us ride back to the
others and tell them the woman is safe with him."

Flint nodded, understanding what his father
was telling him. "She will help heal him."

"If he will allow it. Gabe has never taken the
easy road. I fear more trouble awaits him."

The moon was drifting high overhead, casting its
silvery shadows over the land. Gabe held Casey in
his arms, his hand spread out over her stomach.

"Are you all right, sweetheart?"

She smiled gently. "I have never been more all
right in my life." She turned over and brushed his
hair behind his ear. "You still need me to finish
cutting your hair."

His fingers tangled in her curls, and he brought
her face to his. "That day you tried to cut my hair,
I wanted to pull you onto my lap and make love
to you right then."

A teasing light came into her eyes as she displayed a mischievous side he had never seen. She
smiled whimsically. "I wanted you to kiss me that
day."

"Did you now?" His laughter was deep. "I think
I knew that, and I also knew you weren't ready
for me."

"What would have happened if you had not
come upon us that day we were stuck in the
river?"

He arched his brow. "You would still be stuck
in the river."

She shook her head and grinned. "No, really,
what would have happened?"

His reply was noncommittal. "Who can say? I
am not good with words, Casey. I cannot always
say what I feel, especially when the feelings are so
new to me."

"What if we had never met?"

"Then I would have wandered aimlessly for the
rest of my life, lost and alone."

Her hand caressed his jaw. "That's quite a statement for someone who says he has no way with
words."

Giving herself to Gabe had not brought him
the peace she had hoped it would. There were
still tortured shadows in the depths of his eyes.
"Tell me about your life," she urged, sensing he
would never find real happiness until he put the
past behind him.

He reluctantly sat up. "I guess this is where I
ask you the big question," he said, changing the
subject.

"What big question?"

He took her hand and stared at it for a long
moment. "Will you have me for your husband?"

She sat up and laid her head on his shoulder.
She knew he felt obligated to offer her marriage, and she could not accept until he admitted he
loved her. "I don't think so, Gabe."

He frowned. "I thought you would..." He
looked stunned. "I'm prepared to give you my
name."

That was not what she had hoped for. She
wanted more than anything to be his wife, but not
this way, not until he could bring trust to a marriage.

"But, Gabe," she said, watching him closely.
"You have no last name to give me."

He dropped her hand. "You do understand that
I changed you tonight, that you can never be the
same?"

"Yes," she said, trying to understand the sudden
coldness in his voice. "And I hope I changed you
a little as well."

He shook his head. "Casey, that's not what I
mean, and you know it. When men make love
they stay the same, but when it's the woman's first
time, she is... different afterward."

"I know about that. I am no longer a virgin."
She stood up, feeling the cool night air on her
skin. She moved away from him and waded into
the river, shivering as she splashed water over herself. When she glanced back at Gabe, he still stood
where she'd left him, staring at her.

"You didn't really give me an answer to my
question."

She waded out of the water and up the bank to
him. "I know what we did changed me, Gabe. But that doesn't matter to me. And you don't have to
marry me."

He pulled on his trousers as she walked dripping wet toward him. "You will be ruined for any
other man."

He just didn't understand how she felt about
him. No matter how many ways she said it, he
didn't know how to take the love she offered him.
"I was ruined for any other man the day you came
into my life."

He couldn't bear to think that she might one
day belong to another man. Then he could never
have her again. "I see."

"I don't think you do." She pulled on her petticoats and struggled with her gown until Gabe
turned her around and laced it for her.

"I have never understood women, and I understand you less than any of them."

"I hope the day will come when you will know
what I want from you, Gabe. Telling you about it
will not help-you have to find it out for yourself."

Casey was confusing him. What did she want
from him? He had offered her marriage, and she
said she didn't want to be his wife. He could understand that. She thought he was just a drifter.
Reluctantly he said, "We should go home now."
He brushed his hand through her hair, needing
to touch her again. "Everyone will be wondering
what's happened to us."

What had happened? Casey felt that she had almost grasped happiness in her hand, and yet it
was just out of her reach. The man she loved
wanted to marry her out of obligation, not because he wanted to build a life with her, to father
her children, to live with her until they grew old.

Yet he loved her; she couldn't be wrong about
that.

"Yes, let's go home."

He watched her walk toward her horse and felt
a coldness in his heart. He had never asked any
other woman to be his wife.

Even now, the sight of her softly swaying hips
sent blood surging to the lower part of his body.
Now that he'd had her, how could he ever let her
go? He could not imagine being around her and
not wanting to make love to her.

He wanted to right now.

Gabe walked over to Casey and lifted her onto
her horse, his hands lingering at her waistline. "I
had to have you, Casey. You know it would have
happened sooner or later."

He was still struggling with what he was trying
to convey to her, and she couldn't help him.

"I do love you so, Gabe." She nudged her
mount forward and rode away.

She was halfway up the hill before he mounted
his horse and rode after her. They rode in silence
until they reached the house.

Fletcher came ambling out of the barn and
shook his head. "So you found her. Omous said
you had, but when you didn't come back right away, I feared Cyrus might've come upon both of
you. I was 'bout to go looking for you."

Gabe dismounted and helped Casey to the
ground. "What makes you think Cyrus would find
us, Fletcher?"

"Why, he came riding up here big as you please,
asking after you. I can tell you he wasn't too
happy to find me here."

Gabe wasn't aware his hand still rested on
Casey's shoulder. "Did he say what he wanted?"

"Nope. You know him-he said he didn't
squander his time talking to grunts like me."

"If the two of you will excuse me," Casey said,
moving away, "I'm very tired."

Gabe watched her walk to the house, wondering what else she wanted from him. He led both
horses to the barn to unsaddle them. He would
talk to her tomorrow and maybe even tell her that
Cyrus was his father.

Fletcher had trailed along behind Gabe. "It
seemed to me your pa wanted to see you real
bad."

"He has nothing to say to me that I want to
hear."

"I 'spect he'll come back here if you won't go
to him." Fletcher watched Casey enter the house.
"There's something more. Ted Varnor came by
tonight. Said he was heading out, but he wanted
to warn me that Cyrus is planning something big
and bad against the Spanish Spur."

"Hell." Gabe knew he had to get help, and he wouldn't find anyone willing to stand up to Cyrus
near Mariposa Springs. "I'll be leaving for Fort
Worth tomorrow."

Fletcher nodded. "That's the way I figured it."

The night that had started out so promisingly had
turned cold and bitter. Casey turned her face into
her pillow, refusing to cry. She had thrown herself
at Gabe, and he had accommodated her; what
man wouldn't have under the circumstances? And
because he was the kind of man he was, he had
thought he should marry her. He'd been confused when she refused. He was an honest and
honorable man, two traits she admired in anyone,
but especially in him, because she had a feeling
no one had ever believed in him the way she did.

Their lovemaking had touched him as deeply
as it had her; she couldn't be wrong about that.
She had the feel of him on her body, and the taste
of him in her mouth.

She closed her eyes and prayed for sleep. Her
hand went to her lips, which had known his passionate kisses. Even now she wanted to be in his
arms.

One day this battle with Mr. Slaughter would
be settled one way or another. On that day, Gabe
might well ride out of her life forever.

Gabe stood in the dark, trying to remember at
what point he had lost his ability to control his
feelings. Ever since Casey had come along, she had turned him inside out. He couldn't think
clearly when she was near him. Tonight there had
been a while when she belonged to him alone.
But tomorrow would rip her away from him.

He had no hope for their future together. He
had only those few hours when he had forgotten
his past.

"Casey," he whispered. "Dammit, Casey."

"Wake up, Casey." Jenny was shaking her sister's
arm. "I made you some breakfast And guess
what?" She didn't wait for Casey to answer. "Sam
got Kate's glasses yesterday."

Casey blinked her eyes, a little confused by
Jenny's chatter. It was already sunup, and she had
overslept. She hoped Sam hadn't gone off without
any breakfast. She blinked again and looked at
Jenny holding a glass of milk and a cookie out to
her.

"What have you there?" Casey asked, sitting up
and pushing her hair out of her face.

"Since you didn't get up, I thought you might
be sick, so I wanted to make you feel better."

Casey took the glass of milk and the cookie.
"This is just what I need to make me feel better.
Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness."

Casey and Kate had finished the mattress, so
she and jenny no longer had to sleep on the floor. The child jumped on the bed, then
plopped down on her stomach with her chin
propped on her hand. "You weren't here when I
went to sleep last night. Where were you?"

"I rode down to the river."

"And Gabe found you. That's what Mr. Fletcher
said."

Casey felt a slight ache in her lower extremities,
a reminder that Gabe had, indeed, found her.
She felt warm all over just thinking about his lovemaking. "That's right. He found me."

"Gabe came to the door this morning and
asked for you. I told him you were sleeping, and
he looked real worried."

Casey.took a bite of the cookie, trying not to
frown. She had never liked the taste of anything
sweet for breakfast, but jenny would be crushed
if she didn't eat it.

"After I've finished breakfast," Casey said, pausing to swallow, "we'll get Sam and take Kate her
spectacles." She had to take a quick drink of milk
to wash the cookie down. "Do you think she will
like that?"

"Miss Kate needs to see real bad. She told me
the best thing she likes to do is read, but she
can't. I didn't tell her about our surprise. Hurry
and eat, Casey, so we can take them to her."

She took another bite of the cookie and forced
a smile for Jenny's sake. "Umm. Good cookie."

"You won't ever let me eat good stuff for breakfast like cookies or pies. If I was older than you, I'd give you good things to eat every day."

Casey raised her brow. "I'm sure you would. But
I have to give you nourishing food that will help
you grow up strong and healthy."

Jenny frowned and said, "I'm going to go find
Sam now, so he can go with us."

With boundless energy she slid off the bed and
ran out of the room.

Casey looked at the cookie and took another
bite.