Heart of the Hawk (28 page)

Before she could clench her legs together again, a jolt of sensation shot upward from beneath Josh’s hand, seemed to collide with the little darts of fire from his mouth at her breast, and together settled into a molten, spreading pool of golden warmth.

“Oh!” The exclamation escaped her before she could stop it. “What are you doing?”

“Showing you,” Josh said, then went back to teasing her nipples as he circled that tiny knot of flesh she’d never realized was there before.

She didn’t know what was happening to her. His caress wasn’t so forceful that it should build such awful, wonderful pressure. He just kept doing it, that slow, circular stroking, and she found herself wanting to arch that part of herself toward him as she had her breasts, and the wanton thought both thrilled her and shamed her. It seemed he was barely touching her, yet the urgency began to build, to grow until she was fairly writhing.

She was vaguely aware that she was sprawled open before him in a most indecent manner, but she couldn’t seem to care. Nor could she care when she realized that the tiny, mewling sounds she’d been hearing were coming from her. Nothing mattered except the growing ache inside her, and she wondered how she could feel so swollen and so empty at the same time.

He increased the pressure of his touch just slightly, and Kate cried out at the much greater surge in her urgency. She had to hurry, had to reach . . . what, she didn’t know. But she knew that Josh knew, and convulsively lifted her hands to tangle her fingers in the long, dark thickness of his hair, for once not even thinking that Arly never would have allowed such a thing, because this was a place Arly had never taken her.

And suddenly Josh’s fingers were moving faster, and then faster still, until she was moaning helplessly, thinking she would die if something didn’t happen, if this awful, wonderful pressure didn’t ease.

Her body went suddenly rigid as the sensations changed, from heat streaking from beneath Josh’s hands and mouth to a strange sensation that seemed to come from within her. It started as a small ripple, then a swelling pulse. She felt Josh move away and cried out his name, but he came back to her swiftly, settling himself on top of her. She realized he’d shed the rest of his clothes, but couldn’t find it in her to be shocked at her first real sight of a naked man. All she could think of was the unexpected revelation that, even naked and aroused, a state that should have terrified her, she still thought him not just handsome, but beautiful.

She felt no fear, only that rush of hot, shuddering sensation when Josh levered himself between her legs. She felt the insistent probe of his maleness, but she didn’t care that the pain would come now, as it always did; anything was worth this glorious feeling.

But it didn’t hurt at all. Instead he slid into her as if meant to, easily, yet at the same time filling that hollow empty place so completely that she nearly wept out her joy. And then he began to move, to thrust into her, and still there was no pain.

Instead, that fullness burst into a wave that grew ever larger, ever more powerful as it swept through her. She felt a strange, powerful clenching in that deep, low place, an intense, rhythmic movement of muscles she’d been unaware of until now, muscles that seemed to be clasping . . . Josh. He was buried deep inside her; she could feel him, but there was no pain as her body seemed to be trying to draw him in even deeper, as if he were some long lost part of her returned at last.

“Oh, God, Katie . . . yes.” Josh’s voice was harsh, yet Kate thought it beautiful. “Katie-eee.”

He thrust harder, but he slid in and out of her so easily she felt only a sweet, luscious friction instead of pain, the pain she’d always thought to feel. And just as the incredible sensations that had swept through her began to fade, she felt Josh go rigid. His back arched, he ground his hips against her, and she heard a low, strangled groan break from him. She stared up at him through the lingering haze of her own unexpected ecstasy, watching in
wonder as
his head lolled back, his eyes closed, and his face drew taut with pleasure.

He cried out her name once more, and it seemed to Kate the sweetest sound she’d ever heard. He shuddered, then shuddered again, and then she felt the hot, searing pulse of him inside her. Josh collapsed atop her, his head cradled on her shoulder, and she heard the quick pants of his breathing as she felt the rapid movements of his chest. But still he held her, his arms cradling her as he murmured things she couldn’t believe he was saying, things about sweetness and beauty no one had ever said to her before.

For the first time in her life, pinned beneath a man, she did not feel trapped, did not feel overwhelmed with the need to escape. In fact she found a strange enjoyment in the feel of Josh sprawled atop her, especially as he continued to hold her as if he truly wanted to.

She lifted her hand, then hesitated. But need overcame her, and she moved to touch again the surprisingly silky thickness of his hair. Instead of drawing away, he made a sound almost like a purr and snuggled into her shoulder. She stroked his hair then, loving the way it felt under her fingers. When he still didn’t protest, she let her reach extend until her fingers were brushing over the skin of his shoulders, skin that seemed almost too sleek and smooth for a man.

For a long time they lay silent, until Josh stirred and slid to one side, telling her he was too heavy for her. She didn’t protest, although she didn’t agree. Especially since he still kept his arms around her. After a few more silent moments, he chuckled, a small low sound that made her smile without knowing why.

“I guess I showed you. I just didn’t count on showing myself at the same time.”

“Showing . . . yourself?”

He lifted his head, and in his face she saw, to her amazement, a touch of the same wonder she herself had felt.

“How good it can be,” he said.

Kate’s eyes widened. “You mean . . . it was different . . . for you, too?”

His mouth quirked into that lopsided grin that always made her insides take that tumble. And he proceeded to tell her exactly how different it had been. And then he proceeded to show her all over again.

And she never once thought of Arly.

GROGGILY, JOSH wasn’t sure what had awakened him, a fact that worried him, since he usually awoke alert and aware. But that feeling only lasted for a moment; he felt the soft warmth of Kate beside him, and memories of last night swamped him, pushing everything else out of the way like a flash flood clearing its path. He didn’t remember how many times they’d made love; he only remembered how each time was more incredible, as Kate grew certain he wouldn’t hurt her and became braver, freer, bolder.

He’d never been with a woman who’d responded to him so sweetly. In fact, since he’d never been one for seducing respectable women, had rarely been with one who hadn’t been paid, and the fact that he knew Kate didn’t know enough to be pretending only heightened his exhilaration. Knowing that he’d given her pleasure where she’d once known only pain and humiliation made him feel a pride he’d never experienced, had never even known was possible.

She stirred in her sleep, and instinctively Josh reached to cuddle her near, to savor the closeness. And froze. Never had he done such a thing, never had he craved a woman’s closeness once his need had been assuaged. But he craved Kate, not just for the unexpectedly powerful physical release he’d found, but simply to hold her and feel her warmth. Simply to know she was there, within reach. To know that if he woke her, as he had more than once during the night, she would look at him with that sleepy little smile and welcome his touch.

To know that strong, determined Kate had wanted him enough to risk this, had wanted him enough to give him the chance to prove he wasn’t like her brutal husband. To know that despite the scars she bore, ugly souvenirs of Arly Dixon’s brutality, the marks that had made him want to weep for what she’d been through, she had trusted him to be different. To know—

A rattle from the back door of the kitchen brought him upright. The sound brought back to him the noise, forgotten until now, that had awakened him. The front door, he realized now, was still locked.

“Josh?”

Kate’s voice was husky with sleep, and were it not for whoever was at the door, it would have tempted him to show her that mornings could be as sweet as the nights.

Morning. He glanced at the old clock on the high shelf above the kegs of nails, barely readable in the dim light. A good hour past the time Kate normally opened the store. And the shades were still down, signaling to the entire town of Gambler’s Notch that something wasn’t as usual.

“Miss Kate? Josh?”

Luke’s call came to them faintly from the back door. Josh sensed Kate’s sudden stiffness as she awakened fully and became aware of where she was. She sat up swiftly, and he caught only a glimpse of her breasts, the full, rounded flesh he’d caressed so thoroughly last night, before she grabbed at the blanket he’d pulled over them and clutched it to her. He hoped it was merely because of Luke’s imminent intrusion, and not that she was embarrassed to be with him now, or ashamed of what they’d done.

Impulsively he leaned forward to kiss her, a brief brush over her lips that left him wanting more even as he knew he couldn’t have it now.

“I’ll keep him busy,” he said softly. “Get dressed.”

The grateful smile she gave him, clear even in the faint light, both pleased and relieved him for the same reason; it told him that it was indeed Luke she was worried about, not that she was ashamed.

Quickly, he scrambled into his clothes, aware she was watching him, glad she wanted to but sorry he couldn’t take advantage of the fact at the moment. Then, as if she’d realized she should make some similar move herself, she reached for her underclothes and began to tug them on. He didn’t dare watch her; he didn’t have that much faith in his restraint at the moment. He hastily tucked in his shirt and fastened his pants. He grabbed up his Colt in a reflexive action that was automatic.

“I was worried,” Luke said when Josh opened the door for him. He trotted in, then turned to watch Josh curiously as he strapped on the Colt, but said only, “Miss Kate’s always open by now, but the shades were still down and the door was locked. Is she sick?”

“No. We were . . . taking inventory,” Josh said, fighting the urge to grin sillily at the boy.

“In . . . ventory? What’s that?”

“It’s when you count what you have,” Josh said, thinking that for the first time in a long time it might be possible for even him to have something worthwhile. He’d never dared think of such a thing before, had always been certain riding on was the only way for him. But now, with Kate’s scent clinging to him, with the memories of her in his arms fresh and vivid and powerful in his mind, he wondered if maybe, just maybe—

“Oh.” Obviously bored by that idea, Luke hastened to impart his news. “There’s another man lookin’ for you,” he said excitedly.

Josh sighed. He’d forgotten this little detail in his silly thoughts. Just as he’d forgotten it last night during all those hours of pleasure found in Kate’s arms. There would always be another Carter, another Robards.

“He’s talkin’ real big about how he’s going to kill you,” Luke exclaimed. “And he’s got a bunch of men with him.”

“Carter,” he said with a nod.

Luke’s eyes widened. “You already know?”

“Knew he was in town. The rest only figures.”

“He’s over at the saloon now. Made Mr. Markum open up early. Told him he’d shoot the place up if he didn’t.”

“Be a shame to put a bunch of holes in that fancy mail-order saloon outfit of his,” Josh drawled.

“Hello, Luke.”

Kate’s voice was soft, husky. Josh had been so absorbed in reluctantly admitting the impossibility of the idea that had come to him that he hadn’t heard her come in. That seemed to be happening a lot lately, and there was no surer way to get himself killed. He wondered how much she’d heard.

He glanced over his shoulder at her, and nearly smiled at how she looked. Her dress was neatly buttoned, her expression composed. But there were two spots of high color on her cheeks, and several wisps of her hair had already broken free of her hasty attempt at her usually severe bun.

And for the first time in his life he truly wished, not for the end of his life, but that he could change it. That somehow he could have a second chance, a chance to make things different, so that it wouldn’t be impossible, so that he could stay with Kate, or take her with him, if she truly had to leave Gambler’s Notch. She was tough in a quiet way many wouldn’t understand, in a survivor’s way. She was generous enough to have worried about the welfare of an orphan boy even when her own life had been a daily battle. She had the courage to risk herself in an act that had before only brought her pain, because she had somehow hung on to the belief that not all men were brutal and cruel. And when she had, she’d given him the sweetest night of his life.

The color in her cheeks deepened, and Josh could only guess what his expression must look like, how it must have reflected his thoughts. She quickly turned to Luke.

“Do you want some breakfast?”

Luke shook his head. “I ate hours ago,” he said, causing Kate to blush even more deeply. “Are you gonna open up the store?”

“I . . . yes. I just did.”

“Good. Mr. Rankin wants some sugar. He ran out for his coffee this morning, and he was snarlin’ like a bear.”

Josh smiled inwardly. Until he saw that Kate’s hands were shaking.

“You go tell Mr. Rankin the store’s open, will you?” he asked the boy.

“All right,” Luke said, turned, then stopped. “You won’t fight that Carter without tellin’ me, will you? I want to watch!”

“Luke!” Kate exclaimed, horrified at the boy’s bloodthirstiness despite her upset.

“I don’t doubt you’ll be one of the first to know,” Josh said truthfully.

Appeased, the boy trotted toward the now open front door.

“Kate,” Josh began soothingly, turning to her. Kate shook her head a little frantically, and dodged back into the kitchen.

Josh started after her, but before he had taken more than a step he heard Luke yelp as if in pain, then yell Josh’s name, sounding frightened. Josh whirled and ran to the door. He saw Luke sprawled face down in the dirt in front of the store, just past the water trough. Josh’s gut knotted and he dashed outside, wondering if some runaway horse or wagon had hurt the boy.