Heart Of The Wolf (18 page)

It was
never going to be easy, was it? Not with three of them, and
certainly not with him. You knew. You
knew
you'd have to
strip yourself bare for him to let you in – you knew he'd have to
see you powerless for change to occur.

Not that she'd
had an inkling it would happen
that
way.

Lawrence
wasn't an arsehole … well, he was sometimes, but his actions had
been fuelled by desolation, twisted hurt, and fear; she understood
that. They had not been the product of a mean person, but a damaged
one. She knew the difference.

Nevertheless,
anger still coiled in her with no outlet, and she still had no idea
how she'd reined it all in. The odd thing was, when she'd stood at
the centre of the crossroads – when she could tell that he'd been
craving her wrath and craving destruction – at that exact point of
no return, she'd known that her reaction would either keep his
pattern of self-torment going, or break it.

It needed to
be broken.

Whether she
had succeeded, only time would tell.

I love
you.

She internally
flinched at the memory of telling him that, feeling vulnerable all
over again. Guess there was no good time for those three words
after all.

If he wanted
her powerless, those three words were it – moreso than anything
he'd done to her, even if didn't know it – and that was power she
had chosen to give away for the sake of his healing.

She hoped to
god it had been the right decision, because all she felt right now
was a whole load of doubt and completely defenceless.

Wide open.

Another reason
for a walk alone.

Voices carried
towards her on a slight breeze.

She rooted to
the spot, not moving an inch.

Female
voices.

Three of them,
she concluded after a while. They were still quite far off – too
far off to get a scent on them.

The wolf in
her bristled.
Females?
She couldn't be sure at this
distance, but they didn't sound like any of the other three females
in the pack.

Inadvertently,
she growled, protectiveness rising. This was
her
territory.

“I'm serious,
I am totally creeped out. I think we should go back to the car,”
said voice number one.

Lydia frowned.
There was something strangely familiar about it, although she
couldn't think what.

“We haven't
come all this way just to turn around and go back.”

“We should
have seen the main house by now. This looks like no entrance to any
property that I've ever seen – we're in a bloody forest!”

“But the
postcode led to here.”

“So where's
the damn house?”

“As well
hidden as your husband, clearly.”

Shit!

Holy SHIT.

Sarah. That
was
Sarah
. What the almighty fuck was she doing here?

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod…

Her first
thought was to go get Ryan. She cursed when she remembered he
wasn't here – damn it, he was the one everyone went to with stuff
like this.

Should she
tell Taylor? He'd lost it last time he'd seen Sarah, but he was
different now, wasn't he? They were bonded and he seemed happier
about his whole past and what had happened…

Or she could
go find Lawrence, but Lawrence was currently a wreck, and she had
no idea at all what he would do, or if he was capable of doing
anything at all.

Crapitcrapitcrapit!

She turned and
fled in the direction of the mansion, only to hurtle into a tall,
solid object. One with hands.

On a gasp, she
looked up to find one of the pack boring his eyes into her.
Pete.

“Er…” She
didn't know him that well – she didn't know any of them that well –
but Pete she'd always avoided eye contact with because it was
really damn hard not to stare at his half-mauled face. Although,
the non-mauled half was no less striking, with jet black hair and
jet black eyes, and the palest skin. The guy must have been a
stunner once. Still, he had the intense, creepy stare thing down to
a fine art, and right now, he sort of looked like the Grim
Reaper.

Lydia
shivered. “I was just heading back to get Lawrence,” she said,
wishing that sentence had come out just a bit more steady.

The women's
voices reached her again, and Pete glanced up in their direction,
looking both surprised and like he was ready to kill. This was
private property after all, and if this was his part of the
woods…

“Please don't.
It's Taylor's wife – his human wife. I need to go get
Lawrence.”

“I've got
this,” he muttered, and it was
such
a mutter, in a very
deep, throaty voice, she wasn't sure he'd said anything at
first.

“She is
not
to be harmed.” She had no idea where from inside herself
that
tone had emerged. It left no room for compromise. What
she did know was that if Sarah got hurt, Taylor would be hurt, and
that was something she would avoid at all cost.

Pete stopped
in his tracks towards the women, and bore those eyes into hers
again.

She didn't
flinch – no way. Not if Taylor's heart was on the line – this was
non-negotiable. A quickening ran through her centre; lit up her
nerves … thunder sounded to the south of the woods and for once she
was grateful for her abilities, because to keep her mates safe,
she'd use them unreservedly.

But another
realisation had dawned – dawned with the approach of the intruders:
she would also do what it took to keep her
pack
safe. On
hearing the strangers' voices, her thought hadn't been for the
safety of her mates alone; they had been for the safety of the
pack.

Pete held his
ground.

So did
she.

To her
astonishment – and she hoped it didn't show – he finally lowered
his head in acquiescence, although he never took his gaze off hers.
“I'll not hurt her. She'll be safe until Lawrence gets here.”

She matched
his stare for two more seconds, then turned and raced towards the
mansion, wishing the moon was already up so she could shift. Four
legs would be so much better than two in this instance.

Then again,
her two were better than none.

Chapter Twelve

Taylor appeared
around the corner of the house carrying a couple of garbage sacks –
preparing the place for the meeting no doubt. Ryan would never have
bothered with the rubbish, but Taylor liked to take care of
everyone; wanted the best for them – he was nice like that.

Selena stayed
where she was behind the oak tree. It was now or never. Once she
took this step, everything else would just fall into place.

Her chest rang
with torture at the approaching moon. The sun hadn't even set yet.
She wondered what it would be like to feel no mating pains.
Must
be damn nice
.

And soon,
you'll know.

She stepped
out of her hiding place and ran towards him, waving her arms at him
as soon as he looked up.

“Selena?”

“Hey. I was
hoping to find you.”

“What is it? I
was just about to head back out.”

She put on her
best 'anxious' look. “Someone's been hanging about outside my
place, and my dad's out now until the meeting. Can you come and
take a look?”

“Someone
hanging about?”

“A male, I
think. He smelled like a male – it sort of smelled like Pete, but I
can't be sure. Whoever it is, after this morning I just don't want
males hanging around like that unannounced, you know?”

He looked
hesitant, and then like he wanted to go back inside the house.

Shit.

“I'd rather go
inside with you,” she gestured at the mansion, “but Lawrence said I
can't be here right now, so … please Taylor. Will you come back
with me? Just take a look around and make sure it's safe?”

“Er … I was
heading out to look for Lydia. I really need to find her.”

“Oh, I just
saw her.”

“You did?”

Sort of.

She'd actually
caught her scent and promptly turned the other way, and it had been
about an hour ago, but Taylor needn't know that. “Yeah, near that
clearing by the old Elm tree? Not too far from mine – maybe you'll
still catch her.”

He frowned as
if wondering what she'd be doing there, then he looked at the sky
towards the sun that would soon set, and sighed. “Okay, let me just
wash my hands.”

Wash your
hands? Are you kidding?
It's not like werewolves caught
infections the way humans did. Instead, she smiled. “Sure.”

And hurry
the fuck up,
she thought to herself as he slipped away.

She looked
nervously around.

She had heard
from her dad that Ryan had taken a trip cross-county or somewhere,
so he wouldn't be back until the meeting – that gave her just under
an hour. She couldn't have planned it more perfectly if she'd
tried. The potion bottle, the mating formula and a syringe lay
waiting for her back at her cottage – no way was she carrying those
things around on her person. If anyone found them, she'd be in the
deepest of all shits. All she had to do now was get Taylor away
from Lawrence and Lydia, and alone. She was half way there.

He came into
view once more, rubbing his palms on his jeans a couple of times
and offering her a small smile. He still looked like he didn't want
to be going anywhere with her. It hurt her more than she'd have
liked, but she brushed the pain aside: it was understandable – he
was mated. His natural instinct would be telling him to stay away
from all other females, but Taylor was also different; able to
fight the wolf's instinct to do the 'right' thing. She wondered at
his humaneness. It was a strange trait. She couldn't figure out if
it was a weakness or a strength. Whatever it was, it was to her
advantage. No way would any other mated male be taking off with her
right now, just two hours before the rise of the full moon.

He fell into
step beside her as they headed away from the mansion. “How are you
feeling?” he asked.

“You mean
after this morning?”

“That, and
also, the mating pains. They must be getting harsh roundabout
now.”

She hadn't
really meant to stop, but he'd taken her completely by
surprise.

He came to a
halt in front of her when he realised she wasn't moving. “What is
it?”

A lump formed
in her throat out of absolutely nowhere. “I just … it's just … no
one's ever asked me about them before. No one ever asks.”

Inside her,
her wolf cried, and whined and howled at her. Tears skimmed her
eyes. She almost walked away right then – called the whole thing
off. Because really, what the fuck was she doing?

You'll ruin
him – is that what you want? You'll destroy the very thing about
him you adore.

“Hey,” he
said, softly, and then took a step towards her. “I didn't mean to
upset you.”

He reached out
with a hand, and she flinched.

It was quickly
dropped with an apology.

“It hurts,”
she replied. Although, all at once, she wasn't sure exactly what
hurt – everything just ached excruciatingly all over: her body, her
heart and her mind. She winced from the pain of it. Maybe it was
guilt.

Or maybe this
was the start of her dying because she was almost twenty-five with
no hope of finding a mate. “Let's go,” she said, before she grew
weak and changed her mind. There was no room for change.

The moon
wouldn't suddenly change its course for her; it wouldn't suddenly
wane instead of wax and let her have just one peaceful month –
arrest her demise.

She wouldn't
change either.

~*~

“This is
crazy!” Holly complained, clutching the album tightly to her so she
wouldn't drop it in the tall grass. “What kind of house doesn't
have a main entrance accessible by road? How does the postman get
in?”

“That's what I
was saying,” shot back Sarah, her fuse getting shorter because her
panic was growing. They'd been walking for ages. Holly's stupid Sat
Nav on her iPhone was wrong – they had definitely not 'reached
their destination'. “And we're on private property,” she added in a
hushed tone. “We really need to go back.”

She caught the
shake of Beth's head from her left. “We're not going back yet – we
need answers. And if anyone throws a hissy fit because we're
traipsing through their land, we'll just have to explain politely,
but firmly, that we need to see them, that it's important, and
there was no other way to do it.”

“Can't we get
shot for being here without permission?”

“Sarah,” Beth
rolled her eyes. “That's dogs. Farmers are allowed to shoot dogs if
they trespass on their land – not people. We don't shoot people in
this country.”

“But what if
they're psychos or something! Maybe it's inaccessible for a reason;
maybe they're dealing in illegal stuff and we're just about to blow
their cover. They're probably hiding drugs or something.”

“They're
hiding your husband,” Holly retorted.

“
There's
someone there.
” Beth held her right arm out in front of them to
halt them.

They all
looked up to see a tall figure about a hundred yards away stepping
out from behind a tree.

The urge to
scream was all Sarah could feel in her throat … and the weirdest
feeling of déjà vu, like she'd been here before or something.

“What the hell
is wrong with his face?” whispered Holly.

Sarah slapped
her on the arm.

“Ow!”

“He'll hear
you!”

“He's really
far away, and I was whispering, for god's sake, not even a
microphone would have picked that up.”

Beth started
forward. “Let's go introduce ourselves.”

“Are you
insane?” Sarah squeaked.