Heart Waves (21 page)

I nodded.

“Tell me, Jenna,” his voice so compassionate, so tender. “I hate seeing you upset.”

I wanted to fold into his embrace and let loose the tears I’d been so desperate to hold onto. How could I deny him any request he made of me? If only I could wrap my arms around him and believe we could stay that way forever.
Forever.
  

But he didn’t want to hear what I had to say, what I knew was to come. We would not see forever together. I had to make the best of it and enjoy each moment we were lucky enough to share. But it was hard. I felt torn.

I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry. My father got me so angry. I just overreacted.”

“And I’m supposed to play along like I believe you?” Ripples of uncertainty ran through him, from his eyes to his voice. The same way they ran through me.

On the outside, I felt myself calm and regain control. On the inside, my stomach squirmed and felt queasy. I nodded.

“Exactly.”

“Why are you shutting me out?” he almost pleaded.

“I’m not, silly.” I smiled. “I need to go back in and clean the kitchen. Why don’t you come back after you’ve packed the car?”

I took a step toward the house. Reece grabbed my arm and pulled me back, pulled me gently into his embrace, his lips searching for mine. “I love you,” he whispered close to my ear.

There was no hesitation, no time to think, nothing but the truth. “I love you too.”

*                       *                       *

When I returned to the house the kitchen was spotless. My parents sat at the table drinking coffee waiting for me. They expected me to take a seat and join them, so I did. It reminded me of when I returned from my first date with Reece. The thought of that wondrous day made me smile from the inside out.

“Jenna, why did you storm off like that?” My father asked. “We were having such a nice breakfast.”

“Please.” I rolled my eyes, “It was nice until you started making fun of me.”

“Still, sweetheart,” Mom rebuked, “it wasn’t polite.”

“Besides, it doesn’t matter what I say,” Dad shook his head, “that boy is crazy about you.”

I shook my head. Clearly not the reaction they anticipated.

“Jenna, this isn’t a healthy reaction.”

I huffed loudly and stood, she could never leave well enough alone. “I’m a teenager, Mother.” I never called her that unless she really got under my skin. “I’m supposed to be rash and irrational. That makes me normal, not unhealthy.”

Once again I stormed away.

Alone at last, I logged onto my computer and pulled up my journal. I felt a cacophony of feelings, each screaming and wanting its own voice to be heard: love, passion, trepidation, anxiety, and bone crushing, heart-stabbing agony. I’d never felt so overcome and overburdened with emotion.

I tried to put into words the incredible sorrow that seemed to just spring up out of nowhere, the emptiness that lurked nearby, and the insanity I was certain I suffered from.

I refused to believe I’d become so weak and needy in a little over a month’s time that my chest heaved because Reece would no longer be two doors down. And yet I knew it all led back to him.

I needed to change the course of my future. I felt inundated with negative thoughts and feelings, handcuffed in the present by fear of the future. Perhaps I wasn’t losing myself in Reece but to an overly sensitized interpretation of energy. I decided to try a cleansing.

After a quick Google search, I had a plan.

I drew the water for a bath and surrounded the ledge of the tub with quartz crystals I recently picked up from a New Age store at the mall. I lit some vanilla votive candles and took out a peppermint salt scrub that had been sitting in the closet for over a year.

I knew I didn’t have much time, but I would make the most of what I did have. Something was better than nothing. I closed the blinds, trying to darken the bright room and create a relaxing atmosphere.

Once in the tub, I closed my eyes and visualized a waterfall of pure, white light raining down on me. The luminosity served as a shield from the world outside, its brilliance like an umbrella. When I felt filled with peace and tranquility I added Reece to the image and extended the breadth of the incandescent glow.

With my thirst of purity fulfilled, feeling as if the light resided and grew inside me with each beat of my heart, I blew out the candles and stepped out of the tub. I pulled my hair back and dressed
quickly,
hoping Reece didn’t already come and leave.

I ran down the steps. My father sat on the couch watching his Sunday news shows, never even glancing in my direction. I plopped down next to him.

“Sorry Dad.”

“Um hum,” he answered preoccupied, not taking his eyes off the television.

“I love you,” I gave him a little peck on the cheek and a light squeeze of my arms.

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

“I’ll see you later,” I called as I got up and headed for the door.

Outside I took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the fish and salt coming off the water in the bay. The sun looked brighter, and I felt immeasurably better than I had earlier. Seeing Reece’s car still parked along the curb, I jogged over to Mike’s house. I couldn’t wait to see him, to explain my behavior, or at the very least make up for it.

I rang the bell and waited impatiently for someone to answer. Mike opened the door and invited me in. He shouted for Reece. A clean lemon scent filled the once stale smelling living room.

“Wow.
Impressive.”
I said as I looked around, “How did you guys get this place looking so good?” I asked trying to make conversation.

“Cleaning crew,” Mike snickered. “Got the house cleaned yesterday. Brandon bailed last night, Dale early this morning, so we didn’t have time to mess it all up again.”

“I’m sure your parents will appreciate it. When will they be home?”

“Late tonight or tomorrow.”

Reece came down the steps carrying a large suitcase, the backpack with his computer, and another large duffle bag. “Looks like I got everything,” he said to Mike.

“Are you leaving right now?” I asked.

“Depends,” Reece answered, jaw tense.

Mike excused himself, something about dirty dishes in the sink, and went into the other room.

Reece dropped his bags on the floor, but didn’t make a move toward me.

I didn’t hesitate. I threw my arms around him. I felt him release a breath and relax into it. I smiled. I knew he couldn’t see it, but I hoped he could feel it.

“I’m sorry,” I looked up to see his reaction.

He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not shutting you out. I’ve been feeling all dark and jumbled up lately.
Very negative.
So I tried something. And I feel a lot better.” I rambled on hoping to ease the tension some more, “I sort of got the idea from that book you picked out for me. I figured I had nothing to lose, and now I’m happy. And I know everything is going to be fine.”
             

And if I kept telling myself that, I just might believe it. 

The next night Reece picked me up after dinner and drove me to his house. I offered to drive myself, but he insisted.

“This way I know I’ll have time alone with you. If my brother’s home, he’ll probably follow you like a puppy dog.”

I reached for his hand, “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were jealous,” I teased.

“Of Aaron?”
He asked as if the idea were outrageous. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Just calling it like I see it.”

He glanced in my direction, a look of mischief crossing his beautiful features. Reece cleared his throat.

“I told Mike you were so grateful he left us alone to work things out yesterday, you were going to bake a batch of cookies for him.”

I gasped horrified. “You did not!”

His face lit with a smile.

I gasped, “Why would you do that?”

“Be honest,” he raised an eyebrow speculatively, “was your father telling the truth about your baking?”

I closed my eyes, mortified his desire to make me feel good ran so deep, he’d be willing to sacrifice a friend.

“Yes. I really wish you would’ve asked me before volunteering me to do that, Mike is probably expecting . . .””

A wide smile crawled across Reece’s lips, “What better way to say thank you for all his dating help?”

It took me about ten seconds for his meaning to penetrate my thick skull, before I threw my head back and laughed out loud.

*                       *                       *

Aaron lay sprawled out on the couch in the family room watching a baseball game on television. Reece led me over to the love seat perpendicular to his brother.

Aaron looked at us, a serious look on his face, and shook his head. “Watch it, bro,” he warned, “she’s on the war path.”

“Why?” Reece asked looking perplexed.

“Duh.
Cause you left.” Aaron explained pushing himself up into a sitting position. “You knew she wanted to talk to you. You can’t avoid it forever.”

“Reece, is that you?” Diane called from the other room. “I told you at dinner I wanted to speak with you.” The volume of her voice continued to rise until she found us together on the love seat.

Although she plastered a smile on her face when she spotted me, she didn’t at all look happy. Her eyes looked cold and angry. I wished I hadn’t come. While Reece tried to play along like everything was fine and hide his discomfort, I felt it. His body stiffened and oozed tension at the sight of his mother.

“Hello Jenna, it’s nice to see you,” Diane said, her lips pressing into a straight line when she looked over at her son.

“Thank you,” I answered, unsure of what more to say.

“You don’t mind if I speak with Reece for a couple of minutes in the other room do you?” she asked, widening her smile a bit.

I shook my head.

Reece didn’t hesitate. He stood and looked down at me, “I’ll be back in five minutes.” He gave my hand a squeeze and left with his mother.

“She doesn’t look happy.” I said to Aaron, trying to make small talk.

“She’s not,” he answered big a smirk on his face, knowing full well I wanted to know what was going on.

I didn’t need to wonder too much longer. Raised voices carried from the study in back of the house, where they disappeared.

“How can I, Reece, if you plan on spending every waking minute with her?” Reece’s mother asked, annoyed.

“She’s upset I’m here?” I asked Aaron, hoping a chat with him would help me not listen to any more of their not so private conversation.

He shook his head. “She’ll make it about you, but really it’s just the whole law school thing. They expected him to change his mind.”

“Why? Reece had to give them some reason to think that.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Do you guys do anything besides fool around?” he asked.

I felt my face fill with color. “We don’t fool around.” He looked at me with a raised an eyebrow. “A lot,” I qualified throwing a pillow at him.

“Then what do you do?
Because you don’t talk a lot, either.”

“What makes you say that?”

He tilted his head to the side and smirked. “Let’s see, you didn’t know they’ve been pressuring him since he’s like five to be a lawyer.”

“True.”

“So I’m guessing he didn’t tell you about the agreement.”

I shook my head unable to recall any mention of an agreement.

“My parents let him spend the summer at Mike’s only if he would seriously consider quitting his job and working for Dad at the firm, which in their heads, was a done deal.”

I shook my head, “But I don’t think he wants to do that.”

“Of course he doesn’t, that’s the problem.”

“They are not the people you think they are Reece,” his mother’s voice carried again, “And I want to you as far away from them as possible!”

My stomach ached hearing her words. Remembering my parent’s initial reaction to Reece, I wondered if her warning referred to me and my family.

“Tyler and I barely even tolerate each other these days,” Reece answered back just as loud. “And I like working there.”