Heartfelt (22 page)

“That’s great, Mom. I know that’s a hard thing.” Asia guessed she heard her mom call to her because her mom was coming back. Her eyes softened looking at her face. “You look pretty, Mom.”

Her mother stayed silent, just nodding her head.

“Do you want to come home with me?” She shouldn’t rush things, she knew. Her mother had been sober and clean before. Many times. Conflicting feelings fluttered in her gut. She didn’t want her mother to die. No, no. But life had been tough. Tougher with every relapse. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you,” her mother whispered. “I’m sorry, sweetie. You deserved better.”

“It’s okay. Don’t think about anything now. Just rest and get better. Then we’ll go home.” Tears streamed down Asia’s cheeks. She couldn’t stop them. “Mom?”

Her mother breathed in a shallow breath, then breathed out a shudder.

“Mom? I love you.”

Asia knew by her scent that Michelle had entered the room. She glanced at her and saw Michelle’s pained face. Of course. She was experiencing the emotions of this moment.

“She’s made her decision, Asia.”

“Mom?” Panic ignited in her chest. She’d prepared mentally for this moment for years. Never knowing if her mother would come home again, if her mother would survive her life.

Funny, she still wasn’t ready. She wanted the good life with her mother that she’d always hoped for.

But she wasn’t going to get it.

“It’s a relief,” Michelle whispered, transfixed.

Asia laid her head on her mother. She drew in her mother’s scent, let it drift around inside her, holding it like a precious thing.

Her mother breathed out a raspy sigh. Asia held her breath, waiting.

Conrad shook Asia gently. “Asia, wake up, love.”

Her head still lying on her mother’s chest, Asia looked at him and sat up.

“Mom died.” Her voice was flat, matter-of-fact, as though a book had fallen off a table, nothing more. It scared him.

“Come here,” he said. He held her close and love poured from his heart for her. “I’m sorry. How are you?”

She moved away and glanced around the room, then down at her mother. “She woke up for a few minutes. We had a last moment. Sort of said goodbye.”

He waited for her to continue.

“It was her choice and I let her make it. I let her go.” Her eyes dipped. “I’m so grateful I had her in my life. Despite everything. She taught me things, and made me work on myself.”

He nodded and placed a kiss to her forehead. The warmth of her skin grabbed his attention. She meant so much to him. It was hard to watch her hurt.

Her face brightened. “And thanks to your suggestion, I got a chance to really see her. It was truly healing.”

“Are you ready to see the others?”

“Yup.” Her face fell. “Oh, there is a lot to talk about. How’s Booker? Where is Shaun’s body?”

“Shaun’s body is here. Booker is not so good. I didn’t have the heart to ask him his opinion about your mother’s death. He’s not a doctor right now, he’s a grieving husband. He’s been spending time with Shaun. But Michelle has been working with him. And Lara has. She’s hoping her healing touch may ease his emotional pain, even though we all know he has to grieve. We all do. It’s been a very rough time for all of us.”

“I imagine my mother was too frail to survive the ordeal she’d been through. She was only forty-four, but her lifestyle had weakened her.”

“Right. Probably true.”

“How is Casey doing?”

Conrad rolled his eyes. “Casey is up and around. You know him, he’s fine. No apparent side effects from the sedative. He dodged a bullet, though. I’m so glad we got him out before he was implanted.”

Conrad’s arm around her shoulders and her arm looped around his waist seemed to steady her.

“Is that food I smell?” Asia’s eyes widened. “How long have I been lying in there?”

“A few hours. Hungry?” He walked her to the dining area, joined by the four house cats, and nodded toward the table. Everyone, including the Aegar sisters and their husbands, was sitting at the table. Except for Michelle and Casey, who were carrying a large bowl of greens and vegetables, and a tray of grilled chicken and avocado sandwiches to the table.

When Casey saw them enter the room, he stopped and walked directly to Asia. He pulled her away from Conrad and wrapped a hearty hug around her.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Asia. I know you’ve always loved your mother. And she loved you.” He shook his head. “Death is such a hard thing.” He gestured to the table. “Grab some seats, you two.”

Conrad and Asia took seats with Jackson on one side and Lara on the other. Conrad gazed at everyone around the table. Casey and Michelle sat with Booker between them. He exchanged a glance with Booker and he smiled at him. Booker was a strong were-lynx and he had regained some composure. But Conrad’s heart went out to him. The situation made him want to pull Asia close and never be apart from her again.

Kennedy, in a chair on the other side of Casey, leaned against Asher. Sitting between her brother and her fiancé, she seemed pensive. The mark of what had transpired was on her, too.

Only the sounds of utensils and chewing could be heard. Conrad realized he needed words of wisdom from the leader.

“Casey, I’m very grateful that you are safe with us this afternoon. I’m sorry for what you went through. I don’t know about you guys, but I feel a bit lost,” he admitted. “Some of us have just suffered terrible losses. Asia’s mother is not with us and neither is Shaun. It hurts. ”

Casey cleared his throat. “I’m glad to be here, too. I don’t want to think about what could have happened if I’d been implanted and turned into a killing machine.” He glanced at Michelle and she nodded. “These circumstances are not of our doing. Death and pain surrounds those of The Nexus Group. We’ve chosen to stop their evil doings and it’s taking a toll on our colony and our friends and family. I’m sorry tragedies have occurred.”

He took a bite of his sandwich and chewed heartily.

“It’s part of the path we’ve chosen,” Kennedy said. “When first we were thrust in the path of William Carter, we knew someone had to protect innocent people. We could and we did. But I told you when I first joined the colony, these people are brutal and they will not stop until they get what they want. Complete power and extreme wealth.”

“You’re right,” Casey said. “But if we agree this work has to be done and we’re willing to do it, we won’t stop either. We have more to learn about these people and what they plan. If the military is truly involved, we need to learn what they know and what their plans are.”

Asia spoke up. “Taylor, the soldier in charge, came across as an asshole. I don’t trust him. There hasn’t been anything in the news about what happened today, which is good for us, but strange.”

“I agree. We’ll be careful when we investigate.” Casey, serious, rubbed his forehead as though troubled and weary.

Conrad exchanged a glance with Asia and she nodded.

“You may not know this, so much has been going on, but during the fight the were-lynx who murdered Shaun pulled us out of the ruckus. He revealed that he is Asia’s father. His said his name is Marcus.”

“I vaguely remember some huge guy called me by name just before he stabbed me and injected me with the sedative.” Casey ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t recognize him. If we had our database we could find out who he is.”

Chills ran up and down Conrad’s spine, just thinking about the menacing creature as Asia’s father.

“No, he disappeared after he took my wife’s life,” Booker yelled. “He’s a murderer and a part of TNG’s work at the preserve. He can’t be your father, Asia.”

“Well, he said his name is Marcus. I never met my father so I have no way of knowing if he’s telling the truth. I’ve always known since I was young that my mother was human, so I would have gotten the were-cat genes from my father.” She pointed to Conrad. “You told me that way back when I first came into my were-lynx form.”

Conrad allowed a quiet snarl to rumble in his chest. “He threatened Asia. He is bad news. And we know nothing about him.”

“I’ll find out. He can’t hide from me,” Kennedy promised.

“Sterling and I can do a search on him, too,” Lacey volunteered.

“I can check the police department’s booking databases.” Ben pursed his lips. “Between all our resources, we’ll find him.”

Jackson agreed. “As you mentioned, Asia, I’m also very curious about the special team who showed up at the preserve. That is something we need to look into. Ben reported the illegal hunting out there and Sage has been taken in for questioning about his involvement in it. I mean, he came right out and announced that he was sponsoring the bill to fund the preserve. It’s going to take some pretty fancy footwork to come out of this without being charged with something.”

“It’s not impossible,” Kennedy said. “Remember, Sage has connections through TNG.”

Jackson nodded, then continued his thought. “You talk about the intensity and longevity of the process to stop TNG. I understand your frustration and I am fully aware that my father had a hand in the pain you’ve suffered. You’re my friends, I respect you, and I’m here to help for as long as it takes.”

“I don’t know what will happen to the warrior men and were-lynxes created by TNG, but we may find some answers when we investigate the military’s involvement.” Michelle eyed Conrad and he nodded in acknowledgment. “As for the animals on the preserve, Kennedy and I have already contacted an international animal rights organization. They’ll work with us to make sure those animals are properly taken care of.”

“Thank you, Jackson, and all of you.” Casey sat back in his chair, a somber look on his face. “I propose we give ourselves some time to rest and process what has happened. We have services to perform for Cindy and Shaun.” His voice faltered. “Let me know when you want to do the services.”

He rose from the table and walked out the backdoor. Conrad stood and silently began clearing the dishes while Michelle went to Casey.

Booker put his hand on Asia. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

He hugged her and she hugged him back, while Conrad took it in. It made his heart squeeze to see Booker’s red-rimmed eyes, but his kindness toward Asia spoke well of him. In his deepest sorrow he had space in his heart to show he cared about her.

“How would you feel about burying them both in a dual service?” Booker asked. His eyes drooped. He looked so tired and probably needed to get through the next step before he could begin his healing process.

“I would like that. Maybe we all could gather out in the woods and bury them here, close to us,” Asia suggested.

“That would be nice.”

Conrad patted him on the back. “When do you want to do it?”

“Tonight?” Asia lifted her brows in question at Booker.

He ran his thumb over his chin, pondering. “Tonight would be fine.”

“I’ll talk to Casey about the details if you’d like.” Conrad looked at Booker, then Asia and they both agreed before Booker ducked his head and walked to the room Shaun’s body lay in.

• • •

During the afternoon, the women’s bodies were dressed and their hair combed. Asia did so, mindful that this was the last thing she could do for her mother. She took her time, and while she made her look nice she talked with her mom. “You’re beautiful, Mom. Your hair is shiny and pretty.”

After dark, the colony, joined by Jackson and Lacey and Sterling and Ben, followed Asia and Booker to a prepared spot in an opening inside the forest. Conrad carried Cindy’s body at the head of the group, walking beside Quinn, who carried Shaun’s body.

They laid them on the grass and stood aside.

“We gather here to say good bye to our loved ones. We share the unbearable sorrow of their loss. We loved them. We miss them already.” He motioned for Conrad and Quinn to place the bodies in the graves and shovel dirt over them.

“As is natural for our kind, we bury them in dirt, nature’s resting place, among the things they’ve loved. The trees, the grasses, the sun and moon and stars above. Nature will take their bodies, but they will always be in our hearts.” He bent his neck and let his tears drop to the ground.

The group remained standing around the graves until the bodies were completely covered and lying deep in the ground.

The were-cats stepped away in the woods to remove their clothes and shimmer. They came back to stand around the graves with their human friends. Casey led a lament for Cindy and Shaun, sending a mourning yowl into the night. The others—Asia, Kennedy, Conrad, Quinn, Tizzy, Lara, Asher, and Booker—each joined in with their own voices.

Time passed, but Asia was loath to end the service. It comforted her to hear her colony members voice their grief. Their presence swathed her and let her be sad. To let her and Booker sink into the deep sorrow of loss with no pressure to move on or put on a stiff upper lip.

When it felt right, Asia shimmered back to her human form and others followed. They headed back to the house, all but Booker. He’d shimmered but now sat beside Shaun’s grave, silent and alone. It felt right to leave him alone with her.

Inside, Conrad pulled Asia aside and placed a gentle kiss to one of her eyelids, then the other. “It’s a process, Asia. Don’t skip it.”

“Thank you. I love you.” She nuzzled deep under his chin.

“I love you right back.”

Casey found them and walked up beside them. “You’re welcome to stay. You know there’s plenty of room for everyone. We need to be together now.”

“Thank you, Casey. That would be nice.” Asia kissed him on the cheek, so grateful for their amazing leader.

“You can take the main guest room, if you want. You’ll have privacy. And if you feel like being among the rest of us, just join us in the living room. We’ll whip up something for dinner around seven.”

Inside the guest room, Conrad closed the bedroom door behind him and stared at Asia. “What are you doing?” she asked.

“Looking at you. I’m never going to be passive about you.”

“So every time I walk in a room you’re going to stare at me with googly eyes?” She flopped onto the bed and clasped her arms behind her head.