Heartfelt Sounds (24 page)
“They will…kill you…” she wheezes, chest moving with every shallow breath. “Stay close…to me…” I nod—but she refuses to move. Refuses to move her gaze from my face. I find myself blushing—my face reddening. “…and if…I fall…
do not look back
.”
My lips part. Her eyes are like living gems—each blink a frozen memory. Each flash a murmur of her kind tendencies. “Akane, I—,”
But she turns her head away. Looks towards the exit and she's off. Disappeared into the chaos that's devouring the hall. I follow her blindly—legs pumping as my eyes work to try and not see what's been laid out before me.
You've been blind for so long.
A voice tells me as I run. As I throw my gaze over my shoulder to watch rushing bodies—a horde of women—diving upon a pleading person who
screams.
It is time you opened your eyes.
The beautiful blue and turquoise that once painted this grand hall is gone. Walls are covered in splattered scarlet that oozes to the ground in slick red waves. Bodies litter the corridor. The disheveled bodies of nightwatchmen and women. Clothed. Silver armor stained with red—gleaming in the pale moonlight. Limbs missing. Their bellies torn—ripped into by human hands—with entrails crawling out like wiggling pink worms doused in grimy scarlet. Their eyes stare at nothing—as mouths are permanently hinged open in silent screams.
Tonight is their night.
Akane's mantra. And it ripples through me as we run—as we leave the horde of screeching women behind us and rush for high bronze doors that inch open. We're almost there—moonlight's pouring through the little crack as it widens. As it wheezes and is pushed open—edged open.
But what I see stops me.
And I freeze.
Akane turns back.
“I promised you a fortress!”
Nyx's voice and I turn.
“There—there she is!”
And the creatures who created this mess—who've ripped bellies and scarred this hallway with blood and scarlet rush at me. Dash at me with wide mouths open—grinning. Tongues hanging out.
There's a horde of them. Pink bodies bathed in blood. Wide mouths showing sharp teeth.
I open my mouth—I sing.
As they push past me. Akane growls and they're on her—but my song has already started.
Behind me, the door wheezes as the women thump to the floor, piling around me. As their eyes roll back into their heads and I open my mouth wider. I let my song be heard and it soars through the air on silver wings, pouring itself through the doors behind me as my breath throws them open. As midnight air slams into my back and my arms open. As the creatures at my feet scream and fall silent.
Hands grab at the bottom of my soiled gown. They're climbing—climbing me.
And I sing louder—louder until they stop. Until they stop pulling.
When everything is still, I stop. I fall silent.
My gaze falls.
Nyx clutches at my dress—her mouth open. Her body fights for air as she hungrily sucks. As she hisses at the moonlight pouring from behind me.
“She used us as vessels—for her god.”
she coughs—I back away. I back away as heels click upon the marble behind me.
“We did this,”
Nyx breathes.
“to save
you.”
“Unfortunately,” There's a voice behind me but I ignore it as my eyes widen. I watch Nyx's eyes roll back. I crouch—I reach for her face and hold her head in my hands. I blink back tears. “you can never control a
monster.”
Clicking heels become a roar in my ears as I pull Nyx towards me. A contorted circle of limp bodies surrounds me—a collection of listless women marked in blood. Akane's behind me. Her body prostrate and limp on the marble as dead hands reach for her—stretch for her—but they're all frozen. Dead. Gone.
Nyx's heart does not beat as I hold her. As the heels stop clicking behind me and the murmuring voice is close. Hovering over me. A familiar sensation—a familiar darkness wafts from this presence. It threatens to choke me—but I ignore it. I ignore it as I cradle Nyx—as I stare into her sightless eyes.
“She was a failed experiment. A failed
creature—
all of them were.
Unworthy
of being the dark god's vessel. But
you
are different—you possess her
voice—,”
“Shut up.” I murmur as I hold Nyx. As I look into her glassy eyes. “Shut up—shut up!”
And the voice gasps. It growls—but it quiets.
It lets me speak.
It lets me sing:
Beneath the half-crescent moon,
the glittering surface of a dark sea heaves again,
acting like a shadow,
as another few centuries pass.
And there's a kick of breath in the girl I cradle—a swift gasp that makes her eyes widen. That makes them close and I smile. I smile as I feel her breath and her blood.
But she grows cold. Her heart hiccups—trembles—dies.
And I open my mouth once more:
Centuries that have been buried deep within my memories,
and my gaze turns, eyes staring at stars buried deep beyond the clouds;
She must learn to
take.
And I do—I steal the life behind me. Reaching for the breath that bubbles in Calanthe's throat—stealing it. Weaving it through the air as Calanthe gasps. Chokes on breath that is no longer there and collapses behind me. Falling to her knees.
I finish the verse:
This is my never changing love.
Akane cannot come back. Her soul is gone—gone to the heavens—but Nyx was meant to stay. Stay here with
me.
I am selfish. A cowardly and
selfish
thing.
But when Nyx's eyes open, I do not see hate. I do not see pain, nor sorrow.
I see love.
Naia grins softly. She whispers the tiniest hint of a sigh as her bright eyes roll back into her head—but she's still smiling. Somewhat laughing—giggling as she hinges over from the hips and collapses onto me. I let out a hiss of air as her torso pummels me. I let the world surround me—the bodies, the stench—the quiet drip of blood echoing from somewhere. Nothing's telling me to move—or care. So I just lay here, staring up into a ceiling that sparkles like the sky as moonlight fades to gray and brightens with a rusty tinge that warns us that the sun is coming.
I feel her breathe on top of me. She's sleeping—passed out. I close my eyes too, allowing myself to become a part of this pile of dead and sleeping things. I allow myself to sail away somewhere safe—somewhere normal, somewhere
new
where all of this crazy bullshit doesn't exist.
Catalysts. Dead gods—
resurrected
ones. Girls—girls like me and Naia and Chima—used like cattle. Forced to house a god within their bodies until they become corrupted. Until they're no longer human and have become some sort of flesh eating monster that deserves to be locked away and treated like an animal.
Some of us were lucky.
I blink—but I squeeze my eyes shut.
She opened us up—ripped us from navel to chest. She forced something inside us—tried to see if we could hold it and make it strong. But it hurt us—it hurt so many. And she didn't care—she simply waited and watched. Tried to see if we could survive with a piece of god in us—and if we couldn't—
I open my eyes—I gasp.
—then we became food for the others. Corpses…tasty flesh.
The sun's coming and a bell's being rung. I roll myself from Naia's grasp and stand. I pull a dagger from the sheath hidden beneath the fabric of my bodice.
If I don't hurt them—they'll come back. They'll come back and corrupt more.
Steel glints in my grip. It's like a little finger in my fist, and I kneel before the first girl. Slice her throat, ignore the blood that gushes, and move on to the next. The next and the next—slicing through ten slick throats. I stop at the eleventh body—I stop and kneel towards a face I knew. Green-gold eyes are open—slightly. One lid is lower than the other, and I force that one up. Her mouth is open, like she's breathing but I know she's not. Red hair is matted, but still somewhat curly. She always had pretty hair—
Akane.
“I can't believe they brought you back.” I whisper as footsteps fall from up the stairs—guardsmen running. Steel plates
clinking
against each other as men converge on the hall. They're coming, but I don't care.
Before they see me, I'll be gone.
I slide the dagger along her throat. I pause. I apply pressure. “Goodnight, old friend.”
And I swear I see a smile.
Calanthe is around the back of the pile—the back of the girls. I pause at her fallen body. I fall onto my knees and crawl towards her, crawl over her body and aim my dagger at her throat. The blade moves up towards her face.
My hand shakes like there's something wrong with me and I curse. My heart skips a beat and my chest tightens like there's a hand curling round my heart. “
You did this to us.”
She makes no move—but I swear, I
swear
I see her smirk. When her lips twitch like they always did—when she laughed at us. When she thought the pain she caused upon innocent girls, innocent women, was some sort of joke—my dagger dives. My face becomes red with heat as I scream—as I stab at her cheek. At her eye. At her nose and at her scalp—over and over. Again and again—and her eye comes rolling out. Rolls and hangs on her mottled face—but I'm not done. I can't be—I don't want to be.
She did this to me—to us—to
too many
of us.
And I'm stabbing—I'm ramming the blade into the witch's face as steel toes hit the marble of the floor and I know I need to stop—need to leave and get on with my life.
But I can't. I can't let this go—the things this woman
did.
When blood smacks my face, I stop. I look up and lock eyes with a faceless helm of silver and I fling the dagger at the guardsman blade first.
When he screams, falls back with a screech of steel plates slamming to the marble floor with a
clang—
I'm on Naia, shoving her up by her armpits. Raising her and hefting her upon my shoulder as I turn tail and run towards the open bronze doors at my back as men yell. As armor
clinks
against itself in a wild dance—they're sprinting but they can't catch me in their silver shells—I
know
they can't.
But when I'm through those doors and enjoying freedom—a silver pole swings in a careless arc from my right and slams right into my stomach—knocking all of the air out of me. Forcing me to my knees as Naia goes flying and skids across the grass outside.
The sun's up. The horizon's gold. Naia's not waking up and I bring my hands to the grass.
“You're supposed to be on my
side!”
I hiss at him as I kneel and bring my hands behind my head. “You big
dumb,
lummox!”
Ran approaches me. Slings his staff over his shoulder as he looks at the mess behind me. At the sprinting guardsmen and the carnage. Blood cakes my face and hands—they're sticky behind my head and I curse as I realize that blood and hair don't mix.
The footsteps stop behind me. I watch Naia push herself up in the grass.
Ran turns his head, locks eyes with Naia. “You,” he half-whispers half-yawns. “that voice was
you?”
“I
killed the Lady Diviner—
me.
It was me and—” I swallow. “—the
others.”
Naia looks at me. Moves her lips, but is unable to speak as she clutches at her throat. Her eyes move wildly, from me to Ran and back again. I shake my head at her—
it's no use, let me speak!
She croaks. Opens her mouth, but all that comes out is silence.
Ran sighs. Bring his face towards the guardsmen gathered at my back and gestures with his chin. I hear them pause—I hear steel click against itself as they march back into the fortress. The doors stay open, though. Wide open, as a morning breeze hits me and I try to stand.
Ran offers a hand. Pulls me up. “They're never going to forget this. No one will.” he hisses, grabbing my forearm roughly. “In what
world
did you think that
this—,”
and he flings his hands towards the great hall. “was a
good idea?”
I shrug. “It
worked
right? The witch is dead,
we've
got what
she wanted—,”
I cough, my eyes flit to Naia as she holds herself up in the grass—staring at the ground. “
she brought me back.”
I hiss at him. “She brought me
back
to
fucking life!”
Ran leans in, whispers: “It's true then?”
I am unable to speak. I nod—purse my lips and cross my arms.
“Then go—
immediately! Go!”
“To the Vale?”
He shakes his head. “No. Csilla—the nightingale wouldn't—,”
My face blanches—I take a step back. “No—I'm not going anywhere
near
that desert.”
“You don't
get
a choice, girl—you're caught up in this so you'll
finish
what you
started.”
“The gods live there.” I snap. “The gods are
buried there!”
A bird startles me. Black wings flap against the blue morning and I bring my eyes to the sky.
“Then I'll take her!” he snaps—impatient. Shifting his weight from one leg to the other, “—you were always so ready to go. To disappear to the Vale, so
go!”
I uncross my arms.
“I'll take care of this mess.” he spits, shaking his head. “This shit is
always
left to me.”
I look to the grass. Feel the beat of my heart and remind myself—
it's thanks to her I'm still here. Naia did this.
It's her fault.
“How about this?” I tell him, sighing. Narrowing my eyes at the grass. “I'll follow you to the desert, but when we hit sand—I'm gone.”
…
I take Naia's hand. “We're gonna go see someone, alright?”
It's like she's lost the ability to speak when she nods. When worried gray eyes search mine and quickly jump away. She's looking at strong stone buildings, merchant stalls, and the clamor of people thronging us. Like they have no idea what personal space is.