Heartland Wedding (21 page)

“Oh, Pete, I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

“I know. I’m not making myself clear.”

She saw the aloofness in him. There, in the way he held his body away from her. He was halfway out the door without moving a muscle.

Refusing to give up on him again, she reached out.

After a slight hesitation, he took her hand.

With her fingers wrapped in his solid grip, she knew whatever he had to say, no matter how horrible his story turned out to be, she wouldn’t stop loving him.

Perfect love casteth out fear.

Tugging on her hand, he directed her to the lone chair in the room.

Eyes focused on his, she sat, folded her hands in her lap and waited for him to begin.

He knelt in front of her. “I’ll start by telling you what most everyone in town already knows. Sarah was not a healthy woman. She was small and frail. This rough land was hard on her, perhaps too hard.”

Rebecca took his hand and squeezed.

“With Sarah’s physical limitations, she wasn’t strong enough to carry my child.”

She heard the defeat in his voice and her heart bled for him. “Oh, Pete.”

He drew in a ragged breath. “There’s more.”

Rebecca nodded, wishing he didn’t have to suffer through the pain of telling her this story.

“Sarah hated High Plains. She was miserable almost from the start. She begged me to take her back East, back to Belville, but I’d made a promise to this town. I couldn’t return home simply because she wanted to leave. I asked her to give our move a year, hoping she’d grow to love this land as much as I did. But if she didn’t come around, I was willing to leave. I waited too long. I realize that now. I—”

He cut himself off and swallowed, looking as though he wanted to be anywhere but here, in this room, telling this painful story. But he
was
telling the story. Rebecca had never witnessed such inner courage.

“Go on,” she urged.

“I think her unhappiness played a role in her death.” He swallowed. “Maybe that’s why the baby came a full month early. Maybe that’s what killed her.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” she said, desperate to wipe that terrible look of guilt from his eyes.

“That’s what Doc said. But Sarah was in such pain. All I could do was watch her agony. God forgive me, I couldn’t help her. Everything I did made matters worse. Doc couldn’t help her, either. We were both rendered helpless.”

“That must have been terribly frightening,” she said.

He shut his eyes. “You have no idea.”

But Rebecca did have an idea. She knew exactly what he’d witnessed. In that moment, she realized that what had seemed to be nothing more than following her favorite grandmother around as a child, had prepared her for this very moment in time.

God’s providence, along with Rebecca’s personal experiences, had brought her to this opportunity to offer her husband genuine comfort in his time of need. “Pete, listen to me, there was nothing you could have done to help her.”

“I made her miserable. That’s something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life.” He glanced at her sadly. “Maybe if I’d taken her back to Belville she might have survived childbirth. Maybe if I had tried harder with her, talked more.”

“
No,
Pete.” Urgency made her words come out too fast. She forced herself to slow down. “Your guilt is misplaced. My grandmother was a…a…” What was the English word for
jordmor?
“She helped women birth their babies. As a young girl, I accompanied her on many of her calls.”

He cocked his head in confusion. “What does that have to do with Sarah?”

“Everything. I saw women die in childbirth, not often, only twice. But both times I was terrified. My grandmother explained that sometimes a mother isn’t strong
enough to endure the birth of her child. It’s not something easy to predict.”

“Doc Dempsey said almost the same thing.” He turned his back to her. “But I can’t stop thinking I could have saved her.”

“Oh, Pete, only God has the power of life and death.”

“I can’t accept that.” He swung to face her. Raw panic filled his eyes. “Rebecca, sweet Rebecca, I couldn’t bear to watch you go through what Sarah did.”

She jumped to her feet. “I can’t guarantee I won’t, but I promise you, I’m very strong.”

The panic continued shimmering in his eyes. “I love you too much to lose you.”

“You…you love me?”

“With all my heart.” His words came out strong. Yet,
still,
the panic remained in his eyes.

“Oh, Pete, I love you, too.” Rebecca walked to him, placed her palms on his chest. “But there are no guarantees in life. We have to trust God. His grace is sufficient. That’s the promise we have as His children.”

Pete stared at her for a long, tense moment, the panic slowly dissipating with each silent breath he took. “Are you saying we have to take each day as it comes and praise the Lord for every blessed moment we have together?”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

Hope slid into his gaze, closing around the remaining shreds of his despair. “You’re willing to take that chance with me?”

She flexed her fingers into his shirt. “It’s why I came home.”

Smiling at last, he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m humbled by your strength.” His smile widened. “I love you, Rebecca.”

Glory.
“I love you, too. Very much.”

His lips descended toward hers, but he stopped a whisper short and pulled back once more. “Should we get married again? As an outward sign of our new beginning?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” She reached up and fiddled with the wedding ring tied on the leather string around his neck. “I kind of think our first wedding was rather perfect. The hand-picked flowers, you in a suit, Mrs. Jennings’s wedding rings. All of it.” She smiled. “Even the awful organ music.”

“You don’t mind that you were forced to marry me?”

She continued running her fingertip along the gold band. “I have only one thing to say to that.”

He lifted an eyebrow.

“God bless Matilda Johnson and her ornery, gossiping soul.”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself.” His head descended again. This time, when his lips were a whisper away, he said, “I love you, Rebecca, I pledge my life to you, always.”

Sliding her hands behind his head, she twined her fingers into the hair just above his collar. “I pledge my life to you, as well. For as long as I live, I’m yours.”

At last,
he pressed his lips to hers, giving her the first in a lifetime of happily-married kisses.

Dear Reader,

Thank you for choosing
Heartland Wedding.
I hope you enjoyed reading Pete and Rebecca’s story as much as I enjoyed writing it. One of my biggest pleasures throughout the research phase of this book was learning how to cook some of my favorite Norwegian dishes.

No, I’m not Norwegian. But my darling husband is, all the way down to his blond hair, blue eyes and Nordic good looks. Every time he mentions a new adventure that involves a cross-country trek, I find myself thinking about his Viking ancestors. I must point out, however, that my husband grew up in a fine Christian home under the guidance of loving, godly parents who taught him good values and a strong work ethic.

Since I knew how much my husband enjoyed hearty dishes from the old country, I took it upon myself to make a few of the easier recipes in my own kitchen. An added benefit to this culinary undertaking was a newfound appreciation for my mother-in-law, Dee.

Because of distance, Dee was unable to guide me personally through the cooking process. However, she was gracious enough to send her most treasured recipes to me. I was determined to do each and every one of them justice. Unfortunately, I managed to fail more often than not. I will never master
kumla,
one of my husband’s favorites, and a very difficult dish to make. I bow to Dee’s expertise on that one.

I continue to attempt some of the easier recipes, with questionable success. For more information about my upcoming releases, or for a Norwegian recipe or two, please contact me at
www.reneeryan.com.

Blessings,

Renee Ryan

1. Why is Rebecca concerned about her brother prior to the tornado hitting town? Do you think she’s overreacting? Why or why not? Would you put yourself in danger for someone you love? What would the circumstances have to be to do so?
   
2. Why do you think Matilda Johnson assumes the worst about Rebecca’s time alone with Pete in his storm cellar? Are her assumptions valid? Have you ever been on the receiving end of unfair judgment? How did that make you feel?
   
3. Pete’s first proposal manages to fall short. What did he do wrong? What could he have done differently? Do you think Rebecca was right to refuse him?
   
4. Do you think Edward was right to fight with the Tully brothers? Do you think Pete should have gone after the brothers once he knew the cause of the fight? Why or why not?
   
5. What did Pete do differently during his second proposal? Why do you think Rebecca agreed to marry him this time? What changed for her?
   
6. Why do you think Pete sends Rebecca back to the boardinghouse on their wedding night? If you were in Rebecca’s shoes, would you have been relieved or disappointed?
   
7. What do you think was in Pete’s mind when he decided to carry the kittens on his shoulders as he closed up the livery for the night? What do you think the kittens represented to him, especially after Clint gave him the locket?
   
8. Were you expecting the condition of Pete’s house to be quite that bad? Could you sympathize with Rebecca’s shocked horror? Why do you think Pete lived like that?
   
9. Abigail Johnson clearly learned her manners from her mother. How strong do you think we influence our children and others around us with our behavior? What sort of legacy do you want to pass on to future generations?
   
10. Why do you think Pete was reluctant to commit to Rebecca throughout most of the book? Have you ever held on to something from the past that hard? Why? What helped you let go? What advice would you give someone experiencing a loss like Pete’s?
    
11. Why does Rebecca give up on Pete after the incident with the Kansa Indians? What changes her mind three days later? In this time of disposable marriages, does Rebecca’s decision to stand by Pete seem old-fashioned or courageous?
    
12. What did you think of Pete’s grand gesture to win Rebecca back? Did you expect it, especially after he’d been so willing to live in squalor prior to that time? Was it enough to prove his love? Why or why not?