Heartless (20 page)

The young woman
extended her hand. “I’m Rosanna, Derek’s girlfriend.” She rolled her eyes.
“Sorry, his ex-girlfriend. I’m still getting used to that. When you live with a
guy for four years, it’s kinda tough to move on, ya know?”

“I’m Ashley.” It
took everything in Ashley to smile and clasp the other woman’s hand as though
they were simply two strangers meeting for the first time. They were clearly in
love with the same man, both had shared his bed in recent months, and Ashley
had no doubt Rosanna would gladly warm his bed again at the slightest
provocation.

“Ashley?” The
other woman’s perfectly arched brows drew together, creasing her smooth
forehead.

For the first time
since she entered the spacious apartment, Ashley noticed the packing boxes.
“Um, are these Derek’s boxes?”

Rosanna shrugged.
“Most of them. I still had a few things left here. He told me he was moving to
Nashville and he wanted the place to be empty so he could pass the keys off to
the realtor before he left town.” She sighed. “I guess I was leaving them here,
hoping, well, you know.” She picked up a framed photograph of the two of them
together, Derek’s arms wrapped around her from behind, his chin resting on her
shoulder as they smiled at the camera.

She blinked
several times before carefully wrapping the photo in tissue and placing it in a
half-empty box. “I was such a fool.” She sank down on the suede sofa and
dropped her head into her hands.

Ashley was as
compassionate as the next person, but the thought of comforting her lover’s
ex-girlfriend left a bitter taste in her mouth. Feeling she didn’t have much
choice, Ashley sat on the edge of one of the upholstered chairs across from the
natural beauty and glared at the top of her head. “Why do you think you were a
fool?”

“Derek wanted the
whole deal: marriage, kids, the house in the ‘burbs…” She sniffled. “I didn’t
think I wanted that, didn’t know if I’d ever want it. Then he broke up with me,
asked me to move out, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him ever
since.”

Ashley tried to
remain calm, but her heart was pounding so hard she was sure Rosanna could hear
it across the room. “He wanted to marry you? He wanted to have kids?” She
wracked her brain, trying to recall their conversation about the woman who’d
been sharing his life for the past four years.

Rosanna looked up,
seemingly surprised by the question. “Of course he did. We were together for
four years.”

“He said your
careers got in the way, that’s why you broke up.”

She covered her mouth
with her long, bare fingers. “God, what an idiot I was, to let my job interfere
with the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Ashley was about
to do the hardest thing she’d ever done. She didn’t have a choice. Derek
clearly wanted kids, something she would never be able to give him, while the
woman sitting in front of her, crying over her lost love, could, and clearly
would, given the chance. “Have you told him how you feel?”

She shook her
head, looking miserable as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was
hoping I’d have the chance to talk to him when he got home today.”

Ashley stood up,
grateful she wouldn’t have to sit here fighting back the tears for one more
minute. “In that case, I’m going to get out of your way. It was nice meeting
you, Rosanna, and good luck. I hope things work out for you and Derek.”

By the time Derek
fit the key into his lock, he was dead tired. It was only four in the
afternoon, but he couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten, much less slept.
He was working ‘round the clock so he could leave town tomorrow night with a
clear conscience.

He was surprised
to see Rosanna sitting on the couch waiting for him when he pushed the door
open. He asked her to leave the key with the security guard at the front desk, but
he was too tired to wait around for the guard to get back from his afternoon
rounds.

“Hey,” she said
quietly, looking up at him.

He smiled. “Hey,
yourself.” They had ended their relationship on good terms, as friends. She was
a sweet girl, just not the right one for him.

“I hope you don’t
mind that I waited around. I wanted to talk to you.”

Derek assumed she
wanted to say good-bye, since she knew he was leaving town. “No, I’m glad we
got to say good-bye in person.” Four years was a long time, even if they had
felt like strangers for the better part of those years.

“I made you
something to eat.” She smiled. “Let me get it for you.”

He was surprised
by her offer. Rosanna wasn’t the domestic type. She didn’t like to cook or
clean, and she didn’t like anything that required a commitment, so kids, pets,
houseplants, and husbands were not an option for her. “Thanks, you didn’t have
to do that.”

She touched his
forearm as she walked past him. “I know how you are. You forget to eat, sleep… hell,
sometimes you forgot to let me know you were still alive.”

Derek knew she
didn’t intend to offend him, but she was right. He hadn’t given her the
consideration she deserved during their relationship.

He followed her
into the now sparse kitchen, a kitchen they used to share as they prepared for
their equally busy days. “Hey,” he said, grabbing her upper arm as he turned
her to face him. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t the man you needed, the man you
deserved.”

She reached up to
stroke his cheek. “You were the man I needed. I just didn’t realize it in
time.”

He frowned when he
turned away from her. He didn’t understand where this was coming from. Rosanna
was nothing if not decisive. When they broke up, he thought it was amicable,
mutual. They acknowledged that they weren’t right for each other, that they
wanted different things out of life. He didn’t expect her to have a change of
heart, if that’s what this was.

She passed him a
plate containing a cold meat sandwich on fresh Italian bread with a side salad.
He knew his cupboards and fridge were bare. She must have taken the time to
stop at the grocery store, knowing he wouldn’t have taken the time for mundane
tasks like feeding himself.

He grinned.
“Thanks. This was really nice of you.”

“It was the least
I could do. I didn’t cook for you enough while we were together.”

Derek didn’t think
it was appropriate to mention she hadn’t cooked for him this time either. “You
were busy, Ro. We both were.” He sat down on a stool at the granite breakfast
bar in the center of the spacious gourmet kitchen. “Aren’t you gonna join me?”

“I’ve already
eaten. Would you like some coffee?”

What he really
wanted was a soft bed and a night of uninterrupted sleep, but he knew the
strongest pot of coffee she could brew wouldn’t prevent him from drifting off
as soon as his head hit the pillow. “Sure, why not?”

Derek sensed she
was nervous, that she needed something to keep her hands busy. It wasn’t like
Rosanna to be uneasy. She was always so confident and secure. Those qualities,
coupled with her external beauty and work ethic, were the things that attracted
him to her almost five years ago.

“A friend stopped
by to see you while I was packing up.”

He paused with the
sandwich halfway to his mouth. “A friend? Who was it?” Most of his friends were
cops from the station, and they had all made a point to stop by and see him at
work over the past few days so they could say good-bye before he boarded the
plane for Nashville.

“She said her name
was Ashley.”

He forced himself
to take a breath as he set the sandwich back down on the plate. He’d been
trying to reach Ashley for days. What could have prompted her to come all this
way to see him when she wouldn’t even answer his calls? It didn’t make sense,
unless what she had to say couldn’t be said over the phone. For example, he
knew a woman like Ashley was far too classy to ever break his heart when she
couldn’t be there to hold his hand and tell him she was sorry.

“What did she
say?”

Rosanna finished
her task before turning around to face him. “Not a lot. She asked a few
questions about us, and then she said she had to go.”

Derek felt the
fatigue being replaced by stone-cold fear that had his pulse pounding. “What
kind of questions?”

She appeared to
consider his question. “Um, come to think of it, I guess I did most of the
talking.”

He closed his eyes
and forced himself to draw air into his lungs. He questioned people for a
living. He was the guy who showed new cops how it was done, so why was it so
difficult for him to ask his ex-girlfriend what was said during a casual
conversation with his current lover? Maybe because he was terrified of what her
response might be. Had she said something to deter Ashley, to ruin his chances
at a relationship with her?

“Why don’t you
just tell me what you two talked about?”

She frowned. “Does
it really matter? She was only here a few minutes before—”

He fisted his
hands before he said, “It matters to me. Tell me everything.”

“This woman… she’s
important to you, isn’t she?”

“Yes, very.”

“Are you two
involved?”

He looked her in
the eye. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he had no intention of giving her
false hope either. “Not as involved as I’d like to be.”

She sank down on
the stool across from him. “I’m sorry, Derek. I had no idea. She didn’t act
like your girlfriend. In fact, she wished us luck and basically told me that
she hoped we were able to work things out.”

Derek pushed his
plate aside before dropping his head into his hands. “Why the hell would she
say that? You gave her the impression that we were gettin’ back together?”

“No, I just told
her that I had so many regrets where you were concerned. I told her I should
have gotten married and had children when you wanted to, instead of—”

“What the hell are
you talking about? You and I never talked about gettin’ married and startin’ a
family.” The fact that Rosanna didn’t want those things was one of the things
he liked about her. There was no pressure to take their relationship to the
next level.

“I know we didn’t
talk about dates or venues or anything like that, but you always said you’d
like to have someone to grow old with. You love kids. Whenever we’d go to one
of those barbeques or Christmas parties with your coworkers, you’d be the guy
all the kids would fawn all over, dying to get your attention. It was obvious
to me what you wanted.”

The only thing he
knew for sure was that he wanted Ashley, and the woman sitting before him may
have cost him that opportunity. It was difficult to hold on to his temper, but
he knew it wasn’t Rosanna’s fault. She didn’t know who Ashley was or how much
she meant to him. “How did Ashley respond when you said we broke up because I
wanted marriage and kids and you didn’t?”

“She got a little
weird.” She studied her manicure, refusing to look at him. “She didn’t say much
more after that. She just got up and left.”

“Son of a bitch,”
he whispered.

She reached across
the counter to cover his hand with hers. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to cause any
problems between you two.” She sighed. “To be honest, I came here today hoping
that you and I could have another shot. I was even willing to move to Nashville
with you, if that’s what you wanted.”

He and Rosanna had
been apart for months. He was ashamed to admit he’d barely thought about her
during that time, which only reinforced his decision to end their relationship.
He wanted to be with a woman he couldn’t live without, and he knew there was
only one person who fit that description.
Ashley.

“Listen, you and
me, we had a lot of great times together, Ro. You’re a great girl…”

“But I’m not the
one for you?” She sniffled as she brushed away a tear. “It’s okay; I kind of
figured as much. I knew you’d have been beating my door down if you were having
second thoughts.”

“I don’t want to
hurt you, but—”

She held up her
hand as she offered him a wobbly smile. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.
I just knew that I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t try one last time, ya
know?”

He did know, only
too well. That was the entire reason he was moving back to Nashville… to try
one more time. “Any man would be lucky to have you in his life. When you find
the right one, there won’t be a doubt in your mind about whether you should
build a life with him. You’ll just know.”

“Sorta like you
and Ashley?”

He smiled.
“Exactly like me and Ash.”

Chapter Fifteen

Instead of
boarding a plane back home to Nashville, Ashley decided at the last minute to
visit her parents in Arizona. She couldn’t stand to go back to that empty
house, not now. She knew she would, soon, and when she did, she’d be ready to
pack up her memories and find a new place to call home, alone.