Hearts Across Time (The Knights of Berwyck: A Quest Through Time Novel ~ Books 1 & 2) (45 page)

K
atherine tried
to
catch her breath as every imaginable emotion raged inside her torn and broken heart. Happiness that he had at last come for her was overshadowed by a fear of losing him again. Anger boiled to almost overflowing that he had cost them so much until she let out her breath to calm the words that nearly burst unhindered from her lips. Words that, if spoken, would always separate their souls and split them forever apart.

She raised her head where it had been placed on the hard step, but she didn’t turn to face him. She was afraid that once she gazed into those hypnotic eyes, she would be lost. There was still so much that needed to be said before she could even begin to forgive him, and yet, a part of her still desperately wanted to go home. She was terrified to be hurt again, terrified to believe in him, and worse yet, terrified to let him see how much she still loved him with every beat of her heart.

Looking up into the stairwell, she silently begged for God or Time to take her this very instant so she wouldn’t have to make such a life altering decision for herself. It would be so easy if they just took her now, before she gazed again at his features. But Time wasn’t listening to her request and, apparently, neither was God.

Katherine tried to take a deep gulp of air to calm herself, yet, she could feel everything about him with his presence so very near. She could tell he was quietly waiting for her to make some effort to speak with him. She held her silence, trying frantically to wrap her head around what to say. She could even hear him breathing, and the will to throw herself into his comforting arms was almost her undoing. She withheld the impulse and clenched her fists at her sides, as if that in itself would stop the little currents that were racing up her arms, now that he was so very close. That magnetism was what had brought them together originally. At the moment, she felt as if she were cursed that he could still have such an effect on her, especially considering everything he had put her through. She wished she had more of a backbone, along with the ability to harden her heart against her feelings. Unfortunately, such capability was completely impossible and hopeless, for she still loved him that much.

She at last sat up and rested her back against the stone wall. Closing her eyes, she steeled her voice to remain steady before she made some form of a reply. Her limbs trembled beneath her gown, as she tried to remain calm.

“I don’t belong here, Riorden,” she said slowly. “What makes you think I do?”

“You belong with me, Katherine,” he replied firmly.

“Do I?”

“Aye!”

“I don’t belong to you or with you, Riorden. You gave up that right when I found you in bed with your lover.”

“I had been drugged and thought you were dead these many months. ’Tis why I never came for you. If I had known you yet lived, nothing would have kept me from reaching you so I could explain and beg your forgiveness.”

She finally turned to look up at him. It was worse than she thought, for he was standing far closer than she realized. Their eyes held one another, almost as if Time itself were pulling their souls together as they were meant to be.

Riorden looked as if he had been to hell and back. He’d lost a lot of weight and one eye was badly bruised. Katherine wondered who had caused the injury to her husband although it wouldn’t be hard to guess at the culprit. She continued to study him, and, although one eye was beginning to blacken to a lovely shade of purple, she could see there were dark circles underneath those magnificent eyes of his, giving truth to his words that he had been ill. It saddened her that they appeared so very dull, far from the normal brilliance she was used to seeing reflected in their depths.

“And do you honestly think everything will be all right between us, just because you tell me she drugged you, and you’re now saying I’m sorry? I didn’t realize I came off as that big of a fool.” Her voice sounded strained from the turmoil she felt, roiling in her mind.

“I am the one who was the fool for not listening to your words of warning about her,” Riorden confessed. “I had so many haunting memories at Warkworth, and being there again, immersed in surroundings that brought all those painful events to the fore, caused me such anguish, I turned to anger too quickly. ’Twas not my intent to hurt you, Katherine.”

“Well, you did, and it’s not something that’s so easily forgiven, or forgotten.”

He lowered his head, as if dejected. “Aye, I know, but I would spend all of my days trying to make it up to you, if you but gave me the chance.”

“Why should I, Riorden?” Katherine asked, knowing she was about to lose her resolve to remain strong and burst into uncontrollable tears.

“Because, I love you,” he answered simply.

“Maybe, that’s not enough anymore. What am I supposed to do? Should I just let you waltz back into my life, and our child’s, so you can hurt me again? I’m afraid, I’m not that strong, nor is my heart, to survive going through another such emotional beating.”

Katherine made to stand, and he reached out for her elbow to steady her. She gasped unexpectedly at his touch. That unmistakable sensation was there again as she looked into his eyes, and she knew he had felt it, too. Those damn, little currents pulsed through her and reminded her heart of what she had known from the very start. They were meant to be with each other, for only when they were together, could they be completely whole. Riorden had always belonged to her. And throughout all time, their souls would be forever bound by invisible ties that others could not see.

She realized, he hadn’t let go of her. In fact, both his hands somehow had managed to make their way to her waist, what little of it that could be found with the baby between them. Katherine noticed her own hands had found their way to his muscled arms, and her thumbs were automatically rubbing the fabric of his tunic. God only knew how much she had missed this man.

“’Til a se’nnight ago, I never thought to see or touch you again,” he whispered with so much agony in his voice, it became pretty obvious that thinking her dead had affected him more than he was letting on. “Even if you do not stay, I am forever thankful you yet live.”

Katherine felt some of the pain he must have gone through. “I’m sorry you were under the impression I was dead. I would have been, if not for a friend. It still changes nothing, Riorden. How would I ever know I could trust you, that you wouldn’t break my spirit again?”

Her eyes rose to meet his, and, once more, that spark between them ignited in her soul. Hesitantly, he reached out and cupped her face, running his thumbs along her cheekbones. His fingers skimmed through her hair until he ever so gently pushed her head down onto his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist and waited, for what, she knew not. He took a deep breath and began stroking her hair.

“If you but listen hard enough, you will know, Katherine,” Riorden said softly.

“Know what?” she asked with a fair amount of curiosity.

She raised her head, and he took her chin between his fingers and stared at her, as if memorizing her every feature. “You will know that when you hear my heart sing, it will sing for you alone, throughout all time, unto eternity. If you stay here with me, I will prove my love for you all of our days ’til I draw my last dying breath, my dear sweet wife. If you go back from whence you came, then nothing, and I mean nothing, will keep me from your side ever again. I will follow wherever you go, Katherine, even if I must needs sacrifice my life here to go to this future world of yours. Forever will I find you, and our souls shall always be together.”

“Oh, Riorden,” Katherine gasped as a tear escaped down her cheek. He wiped it away and took her hand, bringing it to his lips. She could tell he was about to speak when suddenly the turret lit up and the ground shook beneath their feet. Riorden grasped her arms firmly, yet took a step back so he could watch her.

“It appears Time is giving you your opportunity to choose your fate and but awaits your decision, Katherine,” he said gravely.

“I don’t know what to do,” she murmured, looking between the turret and the man who had so much hope in his eyes.

“I will follow you, if I must, to keep you at my side.”

Katherine watched as the twinkling lights began dancing inside the time gate as if beckoning her to return to her future life. This was the chance she had been waiting for, and yet, every fiber in her being told her she would be giving up far more than her life here if she were to step inside the welcoming light.

“Choose, Katherine, and quickly afore you no longer have an option, if ’tis your wish to go home.”

“I
do
want to go home...” she whispered, feeling his body react to her words, but his mind really not understanding her meaning. “I want to go home...with you...to Warkworth.”

“God, how I love you, Katherine,” Riorden proclaimed and crushed her to him in a powerful embrace.

“I love you, too, Riorden, with all my heart,” Katherine replied. Even the baby must have approved, as she felt a fierce kick. Their arms tightened around each other, and the world once more seemed to right itself as if everything was as it was meant to be.

Time heard her decision, along with their declaration, and with a strange sound ringing in their ears, the lights quickly diminished, as if they had never been there at all. Suddenly, they were once more immersed in the dimness of Bamburgh’s passageway.

Katherine reached her hands up to pull her husband’s head down so she could receive his kiss. She must have made the right decision, since her heart was filled to overflowing with joy. At a loss for words, she placed her head against his chest and listened to his heart sing. She could have sworn its steady beat was calling out her name.

“
Y
ou have grown
,
wife, since last we met,” Riorden teased as he caressed her stomach. His fingers made several circles as he felt the babe kick. He was ever amazed as the heel of a foot appeared, and his wife gave a gentle push ’til the tiny limb receded back into its safe cocoon. She had never looked more beautiful than she did carrying his child.

Katherine gave a small laugh and reached out, tracing her fingers lightly under his eyes. “And you haven’t been taking very good care of yourself, sweetheart. I can see I have my work cut out for me to get you back into shape. Dristan must be appalled to witness you looking so unhealthy. Does your eye hurt much?”

“’Tis no more than I deserve, although I am still bemused on what overcame Fletcher.”

“Hmmm,” was her only reply, and he watched her reach over to their repast to place another piece of cheese between his lips. He chewed more to appease her than because he was hungry for anything other than her. Looking at the size of the child she carried, they would not be waiting much longer afore its birth. He said a silent word of thanks that he could satisfy his desire coursing through him for this woman...his woman...for the rest of their lives, and into eternity.

“You will make me fat and unfit to heft my sword─” he began.

She cut off his words by laughing at him with a raised brow. “I don’t remember you ever having a problem before with your...
sword
, my lord.”

He stared at her with a devilish grin at the implication of her words. “Your quip is not lost on me, you little minx.”

“I’m glad to see you haven’t misplaced your sense of humor.” She patted her belly. “Besides, I would think the proof of your prowess with your blade is here for all to see.”

“My, you are a bold one today, are you not?” He laughed at her jest and brought her close to his side. His hand again began caressing the babe she protected within her. “He grows strong inside you, my love.”

“He? It could be a girl, you know,” she smirked.

“’Tis not,” Riorden replied confidently.

“Well, unless you know something that I don’t, we won’t know for sure until after the baby is born.” He didn’t give a retort as she expected, and she looked at him with wide eyes. “What do you know that you’re not telling me?”

“Let me just say that there are two ladies, who are anxiously awaiting your return to Warkworth.” Smiling, he waited for his words to take meaning inside her head.

“Riorden, you buffoon! Are you trying to tell me Juliana and Emily are at Warkworth?” she slapped at him playfully ’til she settled herself against his side again. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He leaned down and kissed her lips. “My apologies,
ma cherie
. I was slightly preoccupied, making up for lost time with a small measure of help from you, no less. I only pray we did not hurt the babe with our play.”

“The baby is fine, Riorden.” She ran her hand along her stomach. “A son,” she marveled with wonder. “We should think of a name.”

“We have plenty of time to pick one out, do we not?”

“I would think a few weeks, more or less.” She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not like I have any choice when I will go into labor, you know. It’s all up to the baby.” She laughed at him when his expression turned to one of alarm. “Will they still be there, do you think?” Katherine uttered in concern.

“I am positive they only await your return, my love. They were most anxious to see you, as you can well imagine. They brought the proof for me to witness that you yet lived, and I am most grateful for it. I think you will be pleasantly surprised when you feast your eyes upon it for yourself,” Riorden exclaimed with a smile.

“I can’t wait to see them.”

Riorden placed a kiss on the top of her head as he sighed contentedly. “I am positive they have missed you as much as you have missed them, Katherine. Gavin and Brianna have also arrived, and I believe they plan to stay ’til after the birth of our child.”

“Then we’ll all be together again! Isn’t that exciting?”

“’Tis indeed, my sweet.”

Silence filled the air, as if all their unsolved troubles were standing between them again.

“Riorden?” her voice was precarious as she whispered his name.

“Aye, Katherine?”

“We still have much to discuss so we can put this behind us and move forward with our life together.”

“Aye, I know.” He brought her closer, and he felt his child kick inside her. “But know you this, Katherine. Marguerite will be sent immediately to her dower house. I will send Ulrick and Nathaniel as escort,” he assured her.

“You won’t go yourself?” she inquired hesitantly.

He chuckled, not that this was a laughing matter. “Nay! My place is here with you. I would not want to miss out on the birth of my heir now, would I?”

“Not if you are wise, darling.”

“I am sure you will tire of having me underfoot. I plan on keeping you in my sight so you do not become misplaced again,” Riorden jested.

“I like the sound of that. Maybe we can just bolt ourselves in our chamber and say to heck with the rest of the world,” Katherine suggested with a giggle.

“If this is what my lady wishes, than I shall endeavor to make it so.”

Katherine sat up and pushed him down onto the bed. A wicked gleam entered her eyes as she straddled him and carefully leaned down to give him a kiss. He saw her dilemma when she realized she could not get anywhere near his face. He gave a laugh as he felt his son kick between them yet again, almost as if telling his parents they should behave themselves.

She gave a heavy sigh, and instead of trying, he assumed, to kiss him, a sparkling gleam came into her eyes. She wiggled her very fetching bottom on his thighs and teased him with a come hither look. “We may have our child in the way a little, but I think we have a lot of time to make up. How about we start now?”

“As my lady commands,” Riorden agreed, and they spent the next several hours proving just how much they had missed one another. ’Twas not a bad way to spend the night.

K
atherine pulled
her cloak around her shoulders as she entered the Great Hall. Once again she was leaving Bamburgh behind, only this time, she had a confidence about her that she had not had the last time she graced these walls. She glanced across the room and saw the handsome group of men all turn in her direction. They were all so similar, it was uncanny...well...except one, who stood out from the group. She didn’t have a clue how they knew this gentleman, but he was obviously on friendly terms with Riorden, Dristan, and Fletcher, since they appeared to be carrying on a pleasant conversation.

She halted her stride momentarily when she felt a low dull pain in her back and she reached behind to try kneading the discomfort away. She let out her breath and continued her stride forward through the chamber. The front door to the hall suddenly blew open with a gust of snow following a group of three men as they entered, shutting the great door quickly behind them. Two were clearly brothers, and it wasn’t hard to miss hearing their jovial demeanor in one of their voices.

“Aye, Taegan, you still make me laugh at your jest, after all these years. I am telling you, brother, the whole garrison took a turn at her. You were not the only one to bed her. Why do you not believe my words,” the man laughed boisterously, slapping his brother on the back, who only gave as well as he got with a good shove. Katherine observed the two rough house for a few moments and likened the brothers to huge massive tree trunks with their barrel chests. She wouldn’t want to meet these two in some darkened alley. They saw her approach and halted their play abruptly, giving her a courtly bow.

“My lady,” they said in unison and elbowed one another in the ribs with a muffled oaf.

Riorden took her hand and placed it protectively in the crook of his arm. “Men, I would like to present my wife, Katherine,” he announced with a twinkling eye. “Katherine, may I present Taegan and Turquine, most recently of Dristan’s guard and─”

“It did not take you long, did─” Taegan began, only to find his brothers fist in his belly.

“Really?” Katherine said, sending him a scathing look that her mother would have been proud of. “Can’t you see me standing right here in front of you?”

Fletcher laughed. “Now you have done it. Riorden’s lady will not let you get away with talk like that men, at least not when she is within hearing distance.”

Turquine slapped his brother up the side of the head, for good measure. “Do not insult the lady! ’Tis his wife you fool, not some girl for wenching with!” he huffed.

“My apologies, my lady,” Taegan muttered.

Riorden raised her hand, placing a kiss on its back. “As you can see, those two are a handful. This is Thomas, most recently of Amiria’s guard,” he continued. “And last, but not least, this is Ian of...where do you call home these days, Ian?”

“Wherever I can find a place to lay my head,” he jested with a hearty laugh. “I thought I would head up to Edinburgh next to see what has become of the place since the last time I was there.”

“Ian?” Katherine said softly and pulled on Riorden’s sleeve until he leaned down so she could whisper in his ear. “Is this Lynet’s, Ian?”

“Aye,” he replied quietly. “As you can tell by his chin, he and I had speech together.”

Ian rubbed his bruised face. “Speech?” he said aghast, “is that what you call it these days?”

“’Tis lucky you are not sporting a broken limb or two,” Dristan said, butting into the conversation. “Riorden’s gone soft since he left my hall, but I am sure he will be back up to my standards in no time.”

Katherine smothered her laughter and once more looked at Ian to assess the man before her. She could see why Lynet was fascinated with him. She tilted her head, trying her best to determine what color she should call his hair. Red, definitely, but intermingled with brown and golden highlights. Eyes...well, his eyes were an incredible shade of hazel that she was sure had many a lady swooning just to have him look upon her. He appeared to be perhaps several years older than herself, which surprised her a little, thinking Lynet would be in love with someone closer to her own age. But he was as handsome as the rest of the men, towering over her own small height. She smiled as her eyes drifted to them all, who seemed to be amused at her staring so openly at their features. Yes, they were all cut from the same mold, the handsome rogues!

Katherine turned her attention back to the man who unknowingly held Lynet’s heart. “Well, Sir Ian, I have heard much about you.”

He looked startled, considering they had just met. “You have?”

“Yes...aye, I have,” she stumbled, remembering she should beware of how she spoke to those who didn’t know of her origin. “May we have a word, you and I?”

Riorden began to chuckle. “This should prove interesting,” he mumbled.

“Shush, Riorden,” Katherine said. “Gentlemen, if you would excuse us momentarily.”

She bobbed a curtsey as they in turn gave a small bow. Disengaging her arm from Riorden’s, she came up to Ian, raising her eyes to his. “Shall we?” she asked, giving him no other opportunity than to offer his arm to her.

They didn’t go far. The chamber was large, but it wasn’t as if it was crowded and they would have a difficult time locating a place where they could have a private conversation. He led her over to one of the walls where two comfortable looking chairs were drawn up near a window. He helped her so she could lower herself awkwardly into one of them, and she was thankful for the opportunity, since standing for long periods of time hurt her feet. She felt a twinge radiate across her belly and tried to get comfortable. Ian stood there in indecision until she motioned to the chair opposite her. “Please, don’t feel the need to stand, Sir Ian. Besides, I’ll have a crook in my neck, trying to talk to you if you don’t take a chair.”

“As you wish, my lady,” was his reply as he sat. He was clearly unsure where the conversation was going to lead him.

“So tell me, where do you come from besides being captain of Amiria’s guard?” she inquired. “I have already heard you spent many years at Berwyck.” Katherine folded her hands on the top of her protruding stomach. Her action clearly made him uncomfortable, since his gaze immediately went to her belly. She supposed it was strange for him to see a woman so obviously pregnant and not hidden away from prying eyes until she gave birth. He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair. Katherine tried not to grin.

“I grew up at Urquhart Castle in the Highlands of Scotland, Lady Katherine, but have not been back for many a year,” he replied politely.

“And why is that? If I may ask such a personal question,” she blurted out and then remembered herself. “Forgive me for being so blunt, but I feel as if I know you already.”

He shrugged. “Dristan mentioned you were...different,” he began and then looked shocked that he may have offended her, “Not in a bad way, of course.”

“Of course,” she replied with a nod of her head for him to continue.

“My sire died several years ago. My older brother, naturally, inherited Urquhart and became head of the clan. Being a younger son, I could not bear to watch him squander what my sire had worked so hard to acquire over the years. I voiced my disapproval of his running the estate into the ground. For this, I was banished from my home, so I left without a backwards glance to make a better life for myself. I found myself at Berwyck, and the rest, I will assume, you may already know.”

“I see. So you now find yourself wandering from place to place, earning coin at tourneys or hiring out your sword, I take it?” She watched him nod, but he didn’t offer any further information. It was a tad annoying that she would need to be so abrupt. “May I be frank with you, Ian?”

He raised his brow at her for using his given name. “Do I have a choice?”

She gave a laugh. “Oh, we all make choices, Ian. The question is, when it comes down to decision making, what will be yours?”

“Since I do not know the question, how can I answer?” he said with puzzlement.