Heart's War (Heart and Soul) (11 page)

A knock sounded on the door and Gwen opened it. “Rose?” she called softly.

Rose couldn't look at her. She knew she shouldn't cry, but suddenly the weight on her shoulders threatened to drive her into the ground. She held Brynmor's hand to her lips and started to sob.

“Oh
, dear child,” Gwen said, wrapping her arm around her shoulders.

“I'm sorry, Mother
, I know I shouldn't cry, but I'm losing him.”

She felt another hand on her shoulder and glanced up. Her father stood with her, his grip tightening in silent support.

“’Tis all right, Rose,” Gwen said.

“Rose,”
her father said, “you need a brief respite from this. Go get some food.”

“I'm not hungry.”

“Gwen,” he said.

“Your father's right,” Gwen said and gently disengaged her hand from Brynmor's.

“I don't want to leave him.”

“I know, Rose,”
her father said. “But you need a moment to gather yourself. I will stay with him.”

Rose looked up at him in confusion. Her father would sit with him?

Gwen took advantage of Rose's hesitation and pulled her to her feet. “Come with me, Rose.”

Rose looked at Brynmor, his face
was a pallid gray and suddenly she realized she could no longer bear to see him like this. She allowed Gwyn to lead her from the solar.

****

Talon stepped to the door and closed it as soon as the hem of Gwen's dress cleared the frame. He faced the young man and anger roared within him. He had seen the signs of death too often, and Brynmor hovered near it.

“Damn you,” he growled. “Damn you for hurting my daughter.” He took the chair Rose had abandoned and leaned forward. “I don't care if I have to walk to the gates of
hell and drag you back, I will not allow you cause her such pain.”

Brynmor stirred slightly
, turning his head.

Talon weighed his words carefully. He knew the young man, he knew the sense of duty Brynmor possessed
, especially when it came to Rose. “Brynmor, is it your wish to bring Rose to tears?”

Brynmor stirred again an
d groaned. “Rose,” he breathed. He groaned and shuddered, but Talon saw a quickening of the life-beat in his neck.

“Fight for her, Brynmor, you must fight.”

“Nay, Rose! They will kill you!”

“You are a knight, Brynmor. She has placed her faith in you. You must fight for her.” Talon thought
Brynmor’s skin appeared better in color. His eyes moved rapidly under his lids. He knew he had to be cautious, but he had to get Brynmor to fight for his own life, and using his duty to Rose, the responsibility he felt toward her, was the best way to do it.

Brynmor's head turned sharply and he snarled. Talon had no way to know what demons he faced but knew from his own experience that Brynmor had to face them
 . . . and win.

“You do not fight alone, Brynmor, your family stands with you.”

“Family . . .” his voice grew terribly soft and Talon feared he had made a grave error. “The bastard took them from me!” he roared. His eyes flew open, his hands automatically reached for a weapon.

Talon caught his shoulder. “Brynmor!”

The young man's eyes rolled wildly, his entire body stiffened. Abruptly, he groaned and relaxed back onto the bed, his hand clutching at his injured side.

“Peace, Brynmor, Rose is safe.”

Brynmor blinked at him. “Where is she?” The strength his rage had provoked faded quickly.

“Below-stairs with Gwen.”

Brynmor sucked in a breath, sweat rolling down his face. 

“Brynmor, lie still and I will fetch her.”

“Aye,” he said his voice soft and tight with pain. “I need to see her. I need to know she is safe.”

Talon strode to the door and called for Gwen and Rose. He braced himself, knowing that both of the
m would probably have his hide for this. But as he looked back to Brynmor, his skin returning to a normal color, Talon smiled. The dismemberment would be worth it to see Rose happy.

****

Brynmor battled to shove his pain down. He struggled to focus his vision. He heard Rose at the door and reached for her. He frowned when she did not move. His vision finally pulled itself together and what he saw made his heart hesitate.

Her face was gaunt with dark circles. But her eyes
 . . . her eyes that normally reminded him of a summer sky did not possess the fire he had come to know. Sorrow cut his soul. Had it been he who had caused this pain?

He heard his name whisper from her lips.

“Rose,” he said again.

She
quickly crossed the room and sat in the chair next to the bed, taking his hand. Tears filled her eyes.

Brynmor swallowed hard, pulling her into his arms
, even though the action sent pain roaring through him. “Rose,” he whispered into her hair. A part of his mind acknowledged Montgomery and Gwen leaving the room.

“
Bryn,” she murmured. “I thought you would die.”

Sweet Jesu, his heart
tried to rend itself in twain as he folded her into his arms.

He struggled
to move to a more comfortable position and still hold her, but pain screamed through him and he groaned.

“Oh
, Brynmor, I am so sorry. I'm hurting you. Let me make something that will help your pain.”

“Nay,” he said tightly. “The medicants
 . . . I feel like a drowning man and they are only pulling me under. I cannot breathe, but I cannot awaken either.”

Her eyes widened and a tear trickled down her cheek. “That means they were too strong
 . . . oh God . . . I only made things worse for you.”

“Nay
 . . . damnation, Rose, listen to me. You saved my life.” He wiped the tear away.

She closed her eyes and pressed his hand firmly against her cheek. She drew a deep, shuddering breath then looked at him again. “I cannot bear seeing you in pain. I cannot just stand back and do nothing.”

He rested his head on the pillow, gazing at her a long moment. A smile pulled at his lips. “My sweet, beautiful Rose,” he whispered. “I must admit this injury hurts like the devil. Perhaps there is something you can concoct that simply takes the edge off.”

She looked at him a long moment then smiled. “Aye.” She pulled away
, although he was loath to let her go. He watched her work, carefully measuring herbs. He could not help but remember his rescue of her. Then it struck him. At that moment, he knew the bond between them had been formed so long ago and had strengthened over the years. It had not only strengthened but had grown into something more.

****

Rose stilled her shaking hands and handed Brynmor the cup with the laced wine. His blue-green eyes sparkled and he grinned mischievously.

“Don't you dare say it,” she said teasingly
, knowing exactly what he was thinking. But God, she was glad to see the spark return to his eyes and the color returning to his skin.

He winked at her instead and downed the contents of the cup, handing it back to her. Rose put the cup aside and returned to her chair.

“Nay,” Brynmor said catching her hand. “I want you beside me.”

“Brynmor, I'll only hurt you.”

“My other side is just fine,” he said and tugged on her hand. “I want you beside me.” He paused and took a careful breath. “Rose . . . when I hold you . . . it is as if you ground me. I can find my way back.”

How could she resist him? She carefully moved to his side and he wrapped his arm around
her, tucking her firmly against him. He cautiously moved so that he faced her a little more.

“The medicant works quickly,” he said. “That was not nearly as painful.”

“This one wasn't near as strong. Can you talk to me for a bit, Brynmor?”

“Talk to you?”

“Aye. If in a few minutes you start sounding like you are drunk, I will know this one was too strong as well. It should help with your pain and it might make you a little dizzy but it shouldn't be so strong that it forces you to sleep if you do not want to.”

He nodded and gazed at her a long moment. She knew the medicants
were working because his eyes grew darker and his tight features relaxed as his pain eased.

“When we marry, will we have a family?” he asked
, his hand lightly caressing her face.

She blinked at him, startled at the unexpected question. Perhaps the medicant was stronger than she thought. “Of course. If that is what you wish.”

“I always wanted a family of my own. But I don't want them to take you from me, Rose.”

“Take me?” she asked in confusion. “Who would take me?”

“The king . . . I could not bear it if I lost my wife . . . my family.”

She thought for a long moment. “Brynmor, you called me a temperamental spitfire once.”

“Rose, forgive my thoughtless words—”

She shook her head and smiled. “If someone tried to take me from you, I would become just that. If they laid a hand on me, I'd lop it off.”

He chuckled and winced. “Aye, my sweet Rose.” He gazed at her. His eyes seemed to be growing heavier but he did not slur his words. His touch remained light and gentle.

“I do not wish to govern such a holding
as this,” he said softly. “My heart's desire is to be a husband and a father. When I was on the farm . . . we did not have gold or possessions. All we had was each other . . . .you will never know the pain I suffered when my sister died. Family was the one thing we had that no one could take away. But God took her away from me . . . just like my father took the others.”

“The others?” Rose asked in confusion. He had told her the story of his baby sister dying due to the terrible famine they
had had that year. It was one reason why he had been so passionate about her rescue all those years ago. He had vowed to return her to her father simply because she had been a child and it had been the right thing to do.

“I told you my father died
 . . . but in truth, he did not. Forgive me for lying to you, Rose, but I no longer claim that bastard as blood kin.”

She studied him for a long moment. “Forgiven
.” She traced the gentle sweep of his cheek. “What happened, Brynmor?”

“I was the first born of my family and had two younger sisters and one brother.
I had a good upbringing for the most part, but perhaps my youth did not allow me to see the truth. As I grew older, I slowly began to realize the strife between my parents. At times, my father would drink heavily and gamble away money we did not have. My mother would take him to task but quickly realized she got nowhere with that.

“
When I was twelve, I found her crying, trying to hide herself away from us children. I begged her to tell me what was wrong. She finally confided in me about my father’s vices. I began to resent him for hurting my mother and stood up to him more often. He never beat us, but I saw many a bruise on my mother’s face. I suspect he struck Mother often when we were not present. I was already big for my age and came close to looking him in the eye. When he came home drunk and threatening, I would simply place myself between him and my mother or my siblings and he would back down.

“
But then the day came when my mother said she carried another child, and my father grew enraged. I do not know why, but my father took my siblings and left in the dead of night.” His voice grew thicker. “I awoke the next morning to find them gone. I wanted to search for him, to find my family, but I knew I could not abandon my mother, not while she was breeding. I was the only one who would stand with her.”

Oh
, dear God! She never knew this. She reached up and gently stroked her fingers through the hair at his temple. He closed his eyes at her soothing touch.

“I believe he did not try to take me because I challenged him so often,
whereas my siblings did not. But in a single night, my father destroyed my life. He tore my family asunder and took everything that was dear to me. The one thing I thought I could always depend on, that would always be there for me, vanished in an instant.”

Her stomach curled into a sickening knot. No wonder the death of his baby sister caused him so much agony. She had been the only family he had left. Rose swallowed hard, her heart bleeding for him. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear
, “I want nothing more than to give you a family.”

The fire in his eyes burned brighter. A slow smile pulled at his lips. “My sweet, beautiful Rose, that would be the greatest gift I could ever receive.”

Tears burned in her eyes. “You are my knight, Brynmor.” Throwing caution to the wind, she leaned forward and kissed him.

His right hand caught the back of her head and he wove his fingers into her hair. He returned her kiss with surprising strength and Rose's heart soared. He swept his tongue over hers
, igniting an inferno within her. He groaned softly and she pulled away, fearing she had somehow hurt him.