Heat in the Kitchen (16 page)

'I don't think we can stay here that long.' Her smile at that moment seemed so sad.

'Then we'll just have a few days to relax after the frenetic pace of the weekend.'

Ella appreciated that Matt wasn't pushing.

'I'll leave you to get settled and go find my home for the next few days.'

*

Ella felt completely relaxed as she lay on the soft table and let the maid massage scented oils into her skin. Last night almost seemed like a bad dream and yet she was well aware it had happened. After Matt had left her to answer the door she'd got ready for bed and had surprisingly drifted off before he'd come looking for her. She vaguely remembered Matt comforting her in the night when her dreams had turned sinister, but other than that she'd had a remarkably refreshing night's sleep. Although Matt had been gone when she'd awoken, there was evidence that he had slept on the sofa in her suite.

He was proving to be a wonderful and supportive friend but she wasn't sure she could open up to him. She felt disgusted and dirty with what she had allowed to happen as a child, so could only imagine how someone else might view her. She couldn't bear the thought of Matt looking at her with disgust and disappointment.

Her thoughts turned to this morning. Azzam had been very gracious towards her. He'd seemed embarrassed at what had nearly happened under his roof. That creep of a man can't have said enough about her otherwise surely Azzam would have been less amenable - would probably not have sought her out to apologise. He'd been so generous in offering her this break that she had found herself agreeing to it before she had time to think. Being here was certainly a welcome escape from the mess that was becoming her life.

She was both thrilled and nervous that Matt was here too. To spend a few days alone with the man she loved sounded like heaven, but at the same time, she couldn't see any future in it. He didn't do permanent and surely a man with his reputation would run out of patience with a woman who was so sexually repressed. The imagined embarrassment of telling Matt banged around in her head. She really didn't think she'd be able to tell him.

'Relax! You tense now.'

'Sorry.' Ella forced her thoughts away and concentrated on the slide of the maid's firm fingers kneading out her knots.

*

'She sleep.'

'Thank you Hadiyah.'

Matt thought about going to wake her otherwise she wouldn't sleep tonight. Now there was an idea. He could think of many ways to fill the night! But no, Ella wasn't ready for that.

He decided to give her a little longer before waking her. Since they'd arrived earlier, he'd settled in the tent he was going to sleep in, which was just a short distance from Ella's. There was one other tent near the main tent and that remained empty. With the staff quarters on the other side of the dune, it really did feel as if they were the only two people on this earth. He'd never experienced such quiet before. He definitely didn't think he was cut out to be marooned on a desert island, not unless he had other people marooned with him!

For something to do, he'd spent a couple of hours in the kitchen, learning how to do some of the tribal dishes. He'd then taught the chef a few things of his own. Having had a snack and sent something in to Ella, he'd gone off to explore the oasis. The water was quite warm and beyond the waterfall he'd found a delightful little pool completely hidden by rocks and foliage.

There was no mobile signal out here so they were almost incommunicado. A satellite phone in the jeep was their only means of communication with the outside world but Matt had no intention of using it. They had plenty of supplies and could easily stay here for a week if necessary. Once he returned to civilisation he would no doubt have some explaining to do and a heavy schedule to get the filming completed, but all that could wait for now. He didn't even care if there was filming to finish or if the TV company cancelled his contract. That was a first!

The only topic he intended thinking about was Ella and how he could help her. It didn't seem that long ago since he'd vowed to get her food ready and send her on her way, and now here he was, wanting to help her lose the ghosts of her past! It seemed he just couldn't avoid a damsel in distress!

*

'Mmm, that was delicious and I am completely stuffed. I can't believe how much food I've eaten in the last few days.'

'You didn't eat last night.'

Ella tensed at the reminder. 'No.'

'Before we left the palace Azzam told me that Carl Miller has previously been accused of rape in Saudi.' Matt watched her closely for her response. Her face paled at hearing his name. As far as he knew that was the first time the man's name had been used. Ella lowered her head.

'You can't brush it under the carpet Ella and pretend it hasn't happened. It's chewing you up.' Matt was now sitting beside her and lifted her head. He brushed her hair away from her face. The pain he saw etched there cut him up.

'Come,' he took her hand and pulled her up from her seat. 'Let's go for a walk along the side of the oasis. The solar torches will light our way and keep us from falling in or tripping up.' It was a pleasant evening and with the lights dotted along the edge of the oasis and in amongst the trees it all looked very pretty.

Matt kept hold of her hand as they walked. He kept the conversation light as he shared his afternoon with her. He made the waterfall and pool beyond it sound delightful and Ella vowed to stay awake long enough tomorrow to enjoy it. Matt had finally woken her early evening and she'd just had time for a shower before they'd had their meal.

'Look at what else I found today.'

They'd come to a large bolder that had been hollowed out to form a bench. Someone had then lined the back of it with a padded tapestry and placed a matching cushion along the seat.

Matt watched Ella's surprised look on her face.

'Azzam likes his comforts! And it really is quite comfy.' Matt sat down on the seat and encouraged Ella down beside him. They both sat there gazing out across the darkened oasis with the reflection from the torches dancing across the surface.

Matt wrestled with what to say.

'When our parents died, we all felt that the heart had been ripped out of our family. We can't plan for these momentous events and their death was particularly rubbish timing for Zander and I - just about to sit exams, dreams of a university life crushed. The girls were on the verge of puberty and didn't have their mum to guide them through. On top of that, Zander and I discovered our father had been leading a duplicitous lifestyle. He had mortgages on two other properties, one here for his secretary lover and one in Switzerland for a foreign diplomat who he'd been in a relationship with for ten years.' Matt ignored Ella's sharp intake of breath.

'We also discovered our mother had been on anti-depressants since the girls had been born and had increasingly hit the bottle. Did our father turn to other women because of our mother's behaviour, or did our mother end up on drugs and alcohol because of our father's behaviour? We don't know. All we think we know is that they were arguing the night they died. Mum's hands had been on the steering wheel when they'd been found and the crash experts said she must have been wrestling with the wheel while dad was driving.' Ella took Matt's hand offering him comfort. Matt squeezed her hand as he continued.

'Some of that is public knowledge, the bit about the lovers isn't. They were paid off by the family solicitor. Dad also gambled, which again, is public knowledge. He was in debt up to his eyeballs. We had to sell everything to clear them. All we had left was enough to get the girls through a few more years at school as day students. They know most of it but we never told them about the other women. They were too young at the time and there's never been a need since to raise it. They were both 'daddy's girls' and we didn't want to damage their memory of their father.'

'What about
your
memory of your parents?'

Matt looked at her, a grim expression on his face. 'Shot to pieces! But Zander and I stood as one throughout and somehow we got through it all - our exams, our grief, the girls' grief, the legal mess, working out a different life to the one we'd envisaged. With the help of Mr and Mrs Brown, and then Azzam, we survived and flourished. The experience shaped us and made us both stronger people. Yeah, I still have issues on their anniversary - of all of us I was the closest to our mother and I carry her pain with me, along with a deep loathing for our father.

'But the thing is, we accepted help, we held our heads up through public shame and Zander and I did have, and continue to have, each other.' He paused.

'Who did you have Ella?'

Ella was shocked at the speed at which Matt had turned the attention back to her. She went to withdraw her hand but Matt held tight then lifted her so she was across his lap. He held her in the comfort of his arms.

He buried his face in her hair as he thought of how to continue.

'I admire you Ella and I care. There is no shame here. Okay?' Ella refused to lift her head, shrinking further into his chest.

'If you can't talk about it, how about letting me tell you what I think and you can nod or shake to tell me how I'm doing?'

He kept a light tease in his voice. 'That needs a nod just now, okay?'

*

Ella gave the slightest nod of her head against his chest.

Matt really hoped he was doing the right thing here. He had no experience of what she had gone through or continued to go through. He just knew her behaviour every time he'd wanted to move beyond kissing hadn't been healthy. He was using his past experience of dealing with his sisters, he just hoped it served him well and didn't make matters worse for her.

He took a deep breath.

'Right. You knew Carl Miller when you were younger, yes?'

A nod.

'Was it about the time you left the school?'

Another nod.

'Did he violate you Ella?'

At that she tensed and instinctively drew her knees up into the foetal position. That was no more than Matt had already guessed given what Miller had said and what Azzam had since found out about him. He'd been wondering why Ella had been taken out of their school, and last night he had pretty much put that together too.

He stroked her hair and cuddled her into him.

'Since he's been in custody for what he tried to do to you, word's spread like wildfire and by the time we'd left this morning other women had come forward with their stories. The previous accusation I mentioned had been unproven as it was the word of a white man against a lowly serving girl so she wasn't believed. But since last night, many women have come forward, including one who was beaten by her family for being single and pregnant. Azzam now thinks he'll receive either a long-term prison sentence with a flogging or be sentenced to death. Personally, I think the latter would still be too good for him.'

'I felt so alone, so dirty.' The news that he would never be free was the catalyst that enabled Ella to finally speak of that time. She spoke so quietly Matt had to strain to hear her.

'What was he to you Ella?'

'No-one - my mother's latest boyfriend.'

'Did any of the others…?' Ella shook her head. Matt sighed in relief. Abuse was bad enough but at least it had just been the one man.

'I take it your mother didn't know?'

Again, a shake of her head.

'Why didn't you tell her?'

Ella shook her head fiercely. 'Couldn't,' she sobbed. Matt comforted her as, slowly, she told him all that had happened that one summer. She left nothing out about what he'd done, how he'd threatened her family and how she'd felt, every single second of that long summer holiday.

Ella felt empty once it was all out there. Her tears had stopped. She no longer felt this huge ball of fear in her stomach, she just felt empty and exhausted.

Matt felt a huge rage against the man. If he had been near them at that moment he may well just have killed him himself. He fought to keep his voice level.

'So was that why you changed schools? What did Mr Brown know?'

'Everything. He wheedled it out of me a few weeks after we'd gone back to school. He called in the police. Mum never forgave me for that. My sisters didn't understand what had happened but they never really forgave me for losing them their home.'

That explained a lot to Matt about why her sisters behaved towards her the way they did - long held resentment, topped off with jealousy for the woman she had become.

'Didn't the police do anything?' Matt struggled to keep the anger out of his voice this time. Anger for the innocent girl who'd been treated so shamefully. He could remember his sisters at fourteen. What if it had been one of them? He would have moved heaven and earth to bring the pathetic excuse for a man to justice. Hell, he'd been hot-headed enough back then to have definitely killed the man.

'My mother refused to bring charges - told them I was lying because he'd caught me with a boy and punished me.'

'But why didn't Mr Brown….'

Ella finally looked up at him, her face streaked with dried on tears. 'I told him not to. I didn't want him to make things any worse. Anyway, my mother threatened to spread the rumour that he'd been interfering with me if he said any more.'

'God Ella, I'm so sorry for the family you've got. Why do you keep doing things for them?'

'Because they
are
family. I bought my mother a house with the royalties from my first album but other than that I have next to nothing to do with her now. I keep hoping that if I do enough for my sisters, one day they might love me,' her voice broke on a sob.

Matt rocked her to him as he kissed her hair. 'You've got Daniel now. I know it's a new relationship but he seems to love you as a father should love his daughter.'

'He knew! Mr Brown told him. He knew Matt and he didn't come for me!' Tears were once again streaming down her cheeks.

Oh crap!

'But they both watched out for you after that. Maybe after what your mother had threatened they felt that was all they could do without making things ten times worse.'