Heated Beat 01 - My Mate Jack (MM) (13 page)

“What? Nothing? When did I ever say that? You said you wanted to fuck someone before you went to Ibiza. What was I supposed to think? That you were confessing your undying love?”

Jack shrugged. “Maybe I was and I didn’t know it. But it doesn’t matter, does it? And it didn’t then, not to you. You packed up your shit and fucked off to Leeds without even saying good-bye.”

“What the fuck? I’m not the one who didn’t say good-bye, Jack. I came to your house, twice, but you weren’t there. I even wrote you a letter. I gave it to your dad.”

Jack stopped pacing. “My dad?”

“Yeah.” Will stood, though to do what, he wasn’t sure. He’d never asked Jack about that morning exchange with Derek Lawson. Never admitted how much it had hurt, not even to himself. “It was a Sunday morning, remember? My dad wanted to leave at 8:00 a.m. but I wouldn’t get in the car until I’d seen you. But you weren’t there. Your dad said you’d gone to footie, so I wrote you a note. He said he’d give it to you.”

Jack was quiet for a long moment. It didn’t take a genius to work out his grade-A tosser of a father had binned the letter and left him none the wiser. Will reckoned, given what had happened since at Christmas, he even knew why.

“What did the letter say?”

Will shrugged. “Nothing that would make this any better, but don’t ever accuse me of not giving a shit, Jack, ’cause it’s not true, and it’s not fair. You can’t play with my head because you think you might be gay, or bi, or whatever.”

“Bi?”

“Jack, I saw you fucking some girl last time I was here, right here, in fact, on this bloody couch, so don’t try and tell me you’re not still messing about with birds.”

“I haven’t touched a girl since that night, and I didn’t fuck her. I mean, I tried, but I couldn’t finish. I took her back to the after-party and she went home with someone else.”

“What about all those girls in the magazines?”

Jack shook his head. “Maybe at the start, but they recycle those pictures every week and put new captions over them. That one with the bloke? They’ve reprinted it six times this year already.”

Oh
. Will drifted closer to Jack with little conscious thought, backed him against the wall, and caged him with his arms. Jack was taller than Will, heavier and wider, but for the first time in years, Will felt in control of the craziness between them. “I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth, okay?”

“Ask me anything.”

“Gay, straight, whatever, if I kissed you right now, how would you feel?”

Jack licked his lips. “Like I’d won the bloody lottery. It’s been too long, Will. I don’t know if I’m gay, and I don’t give a fuck either way. I just know that doing this….” Jack gestured between them. “…only feels right with you. No one else makes me feel like this.”

W
ILL
PUSHED
Jack down on his bed, on him before Jack could take a breath. They kissed and rolled over, again and again, tangled in a frenzied race to undress each other.

Jack won… for the moment. He straddled Will’s waist, pulled his T-shirt over his head, and stared, eyes gleaming in the dark of the room. He put his palms flat on Will’s chest, unmoving, like he was trying to ground himself.

Will lay still, entranced by Jack’s dark gaze. Then the heat of Jack’s touch overran his control and all bets were off. Clothes became a distant memory, and before Will knew it, he was naked, hard, and covering Jack’s body with his own, grinding them together, transfixed by Jack writhing and gasping beneath him.

He rose up on his hands and took in Jack’s chiseled body. He’d lost weight in the last year. His boyish features were fading and leaving behind the hard, lean form of a man. A man Will could hardly believe was arching beneath him, begging… pleading for something more.

Will started to roll over. Jack stopped him.

“Can we do it the other way?”

“What?”

Jack gripped Will’s shoulders, his chest heaving. “It’s all I ever see when I think of this… of you. Please, Will. I want you to fuck me.”

Will lay his hand over Jack’s hammering heart. “Has there been… I mean, is it the first time?”

“Yeah.” Heat colored Jack’s cheeks. “I tried to once, with another guy, but I bottled it. I didn’t want anyone else to touch me there.”

A surge of possessive jealousy flooded Will’s veins. He reclaimed his place covering Jack’s body. “So what
did
you do with him, then?”

“Not much. Snogged him. Tossed him off, but I only did that because I felt bad about leading him on.”

Will wanted to know more. Wanted to know everything, but more than that, he wanted to show Jack why he’d been right to say no to anyone that wasn’t him. “Don’t ever feel bad about not doing something that isn’t right.”

He swallowed Jack’s reply with a kiss… a kiss that went on and on and became something deeper than they’d ever shared before. Will opened Jack with his fingers and tongue before Jack rolled onto his side and curled his leg to his chest.

“Wrap your arms around me.”

Will smiled and moved to mold his body around Jack’s, but he kept his hands free, one rolling a condom onto his cock and the other clutching Jack’s shoulder. “In a sec. This bit might hurt. I’ll be gentle.”

Jack chuckled and leaned back into Will. He hooked his arm around Will’s neck and tilted his face for a kiss. “I know it’s going to hurt. I remember your face. You said it didn’t, but I know it did.”

“It stung a little.” Will aligned them and pressed, careful at first, and then with more purpose, easing his way in. “But it wasn’t my first time, so I knew it would get better.”

“Better, eh?
Fuck
!” Jack hid his face in his arm, rigid.

Will rubbed his back. “Breathe. Don’t fight it. You’ll make it worse.”

Jack panted out some harsh breaths. “When did you get so wise?”

“Shh. Just breathe.”

Jack obeyed and Will slid inside him, slow and gentle, until he could go no further. Then he gave in to Jack’s pleas and wrapped his arms tight around him, holding him like he was his most precious thing. He bit Jack’s ear and nuzzled his neck, coaxing his face out of hiding. “I’m sorry I ever made you feel like this was nothing. It won’t ever be nothing, Jack. Not for us.”

Will fucked Jack like the world had stopped just for them. No deadlines, exams, or gigs waiting for them on the other side. He took Jack slow, rolling his hips, probing, pushing, searching for the cadence that slackened Jack’s muscles and made him moan.

And moan Jack did, and he cursed and gasped and cried out until he fell forward and hid his face in a pillow. Will covered him and nudged his legs apart. Jack’s trembling told him Jack was close to coming, but he doubted Jack knew it himself.

Will reached around Jack and found his cock, squeezed and stroked, coaxing an orgasm from Jack that even after all this time seemed to come from nowhere.

“Oh, God. Fuck.
Will
….” Jack lost it and exploded in Will’s hand. A deep flush broke out over the skin Will could see, and his body tightened enough to push Will into a release that made his head spin.

Will groaned and fought the urge to slam into Jack and chase the heady pleasure. This wasn’t about him. He pulled out. Jack hissed. Will tugged the condom off and eased Jack onto his back. “Back in a sec.”

He padded to the bathroom, chucked the condom, and found a clean flannel under the sink. He soaked it with warm water and took it back to the bed. Jack was silent while Will cleaned up. He seemed spaced, and Will couldn’t blame him. He’d been a dribbling wreck after that first time with Dave, and that hadn’t felt anything like the heat between him and Jack.

“Washing basket’s behind the door.”

Will glanced down to find Jack staring at him. “I know. Think I can get it in from here?”

He chucked the flannel across the room without waiting for a response and watched it land on a teetering pile of dirty clothes. “Hope you haven’t got a maid doing your washing. You okay?”

Jack hummed. “Yeah. I feel good… sore, but good. Hey, you know this wasn’t like before, don’t you? It’s not an experiment, or some shit like that. I wanted this… still want it, with you.”

Will smiled and pushed Jack’s sweaty hair away from his face, still getting used to a naked Jack, in more ways than one. “You know, I never let anyone fuck me after you. I’ve topped every shag I’ve had ever since.”

“Does that include Evan?”

Will didn’t have to look to know Jack was scowling. He laid his head on Jack’s shoulder and burrowed under the covers to be as close to him as possible. “Yeah, even him… especially him. I couldn’t face it. Felt like I had to hold on to what happened between you and me, you know? Like I was scared I’d never get that feeling back.”

Jack kissed Will’s head in answer, and Will knew he understood.

“I’d like to, though,” Will said after a while. “With you. I think about it a lot.”

Jack hummed lazily. “Me too, but you might have to wait a while. Don’t think I can move.”

A quiet settled over them then. Will wondered if Jack had fallen asleep, until he let out a sigh that sounded pretty bloody awake.

Will raised his head. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Not really, anyway. S’pose I’m just fretting about what happens now.”

Will’s heart sank. He’d hoped the glow of being naked in bed together would tide them over at least until morning. He groped around the bed and found Jack’s hand. “I need to book a flight for tomorrow night. I’ve got deadlines I can’t miss.”

“I’ve got a flight to catch too,” Jack said. “I’ve got to meet the big bosses in Berlin on Wednesday.”

That got Will’s attention. Jack had only been summoned to XS headquarters in Germany once to Will’s knowledge, and that had been right at the start, before he’d landed the job in Ibiza. “What do they want?”

Jack bit his lip, a sure sign he was nervous. “They don’t want anything. It’s me doing the asking.”

“What are you asking them for?”

“A new job.” Jack shifted, wincing a little. “I talked to Ray today. That’s where I was while you were sulking on my steps. I told him everything and asked his advice.”

“What did he say?”

Jack shrugged. “Lots of things. I don’t know why I didn’t talk to him sooner. He thinks we might be able to figure something out. Maybe get me a residency in London and some more studio time, see if the heat, or lack of it, makes any difference. I told him I never got headaches when I played back home.”

Will’s heart boomed in his ears. “You’re coming back to the UK?”

“Maybe. We talked about it and I want to, but it would take some negotiating to make it happen. The board has to decide I’m worth it first.”

“Bollocks.” Will sat up. “I’ve seen you play, the crowds you pull, and the way they respond to you. You’re so fucking worth it, Jack. They have to know that.”

Jack smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Will, listen to me. Nothing’s going to happen overnight, but I need to know this is real. You and me. I can’t come home and still be a million miles from you. I can’t do it anymore.”

Will grabbed Jack’s face and searched for his gaze until their eyes locked. “This is real, Jack. I promise.”

April 2005

Leeds

J
ACK
L
AWSON
shut his laptop and rubbed his face as the train rumbled into the station. The journey from London, via Birmingham, had felt longer than usual. Perhaps because he’d spent all day in dull-as-rocks meetings, or maybe just because he was so eager to get to his destination.

The train stopped. Jack was first off. He jogged through the bustling station, a baseball cap pulled low over his face, and jumped in a taxi. “Headingley, please.”

The driver nodded and pulled into the city’s chaotic one-way system. Jack sat back and let the scenery fly by. It was Monday, the start of the working week for most people, but for him, a long weekend of DJ-ing, mixing in the studio, and meetings with mortgage advisors was finally coming to an end. He’d made the journey between Leeds and London six times in the last seven days, and he was exhausted. He needed his bed, or, more accurately, Will’s bed, because whatever day of the week, there was nowhere Jack would rather be.

He paid the taxi driver and reached Will’s house as Suki was dashing out of the front door. She kissed Jack’s cheek in passing.

“You need to rescue your boy from his bedroom. He’s been down there all day.”

Jack grinned. He liked Suki. She looked out for Will, and she didn’t ask them weird questions about their sex life. “I’ll try. Is he in a good mood?”

Suki shrugged and went on her way, leaving Jack to face the music alone. Will had been grumpy the last few weeks, caught up in his end-of-year project, the final assessments that would determine the results of three years of hard work. Jack was more proud of him than he could say, but at the moment? Yeah. The bloke was like a bear with a sore head… a lean, blond bear, with the greenest eyes Jack had ever seen.

He trod softly downstairs to Will’s basement room and dumped his bag in the corner. Will, lost in his work with his headphones on, didn’t look up, and Jack took a moment to observe him unnoticed. Recently, with Will so distracted, it had become one of his favorite pastimes. Will’s concentrated frown, his mussed-up hair, the tip of his tongue poking through his teeth as he polished and perfected whatever design wizardry he was working on.

Jack loved it all, drank it all in, but today he found himself captivated by the subtle arch of Will’s neck. All those years they’d lived in each other’s pockets, how had he not noticed how perfect it was?

“You’re doing that staring thing again.”

Jack jumped, startled. “Thought you had your tunes on.”

“I did, though technically, they were your tunes. I was listening to that demo CD you brought home. Forgot to put something else on when it finished.” Will clicked through a few screens and spun his chair round to face Jack. “You’re early. Didn’t think you’d make it back till midnight.”