HedgeWitch (33 page)

“Seven,” he says.

I fall silent, look at the ground with consternation, rummage in my pockets. I have forgotten to say “Sold!” So far, I've been really successful in my haggling. Two bucks wasn't going to kill me, and he was being pleasant even though we both might be going swimming in the parking lot in a minute or two. I sigh, resigned to give him the seven dollars, and shove my hands in my pocket again, except my one's pocket is empty. I'm frustrated, and I know that expression showed on my face. I am sure I have more ones. I dig deeper, the rain is now slinging like spit from a boxer in the tenth round, and I truly am on the verge of saying, “No, thank you.” I manage to whip out a crumpled five, but no one-dollar bills. I look up, ready to open my mouth to let the object go, and he says, “Five bucks it is, missy.”

Sold.

Through the mud I slog, loading up the car, as yet unaware that the universe had decided I have one more lesson to learn. I head for the tented area, hoping to find a last-minute bargain. I'd seen a rack of dresses on my first trip down through the market. My husband and I are building a magickal scarecrow for my garden, and I wanted something unusual and inexpensive to dress my enchanted effigy. There are local magickal rules to creating a garden scarecrow, which is why I wanted something new, rather than clothing worn by someone I know. The vendors, a husband-and-wife team speaking Spanish, were packing up.

As I begin to haggle, I'm kicking my mental self for my incredibly weak knowledge of the language. I can speak nouns and verbs (thanks to Llewellyn author Ray Malbrough) but no pleasantries or modifiers. My broken non-skill makes for lousy rapport, and I'm silently wishing I'd dragged Ray along with me. Don't get me wrong, the wife spoke perfect English—but I knew that to enter her comfort zone, I should be able to communicate better on her terms. To me, it is my responsibility as a buyer to make the vendor feel at ease, not the other way around. If the vendor feels they shine on center stage, then I actually have the upper hand in the bargaining process. Not too friendly, mind you. You can overdo it if you're not careful.

And here is where I met my only failure of the day. First, she misunderstood why I wanted the dress. She was, naturally, assuming I wanted it to fit me. I could hardly tell her I desired a size obviously larger than me to hang on a magickal scarecrow, so I stuttered, searching for plausible words. Her main focus, at the moment, was to put me in a smaller dress. The price tags on both dresses said $20.

“Would you take $5 for this dress?” I asked, touching the larger dress.

She shook her head and pointed to the smaller dress. “Twenty dollar,” she said, restating the price on the tag.

“Seven,” I said and then remembered I didn't have any ones on me.

She rolled her eyes (bad sign), her gold earrings swinging wildly with the jerky, aggravated movement of her head. “Twenty dollar,” she insisted. “New!” she exclaimed, pointing at the smaller dress.

“Ten.” I withdrew a ten from my pocket, reaching for the dress. This is haggling rule number seventeen: when all else fails, with cash in hand, reach for the item. Don't take it. Just flash the money and reach for it. Leave the control decision with the vendor. He or she can hand over the item and make the sale, or not.

In this case, it was not. “Twenty dollar,” she repeated, one hand positioned firmly on her hip, smaller dress dangling from the other, and I could tell she was getting angry—that scowl on her face and her body language were definite warning signs. Uh-oh. At this point, her husband is grumbling at her in Spanish, telling her she ought to let me have the dress and get on with it. They can't stay in this rain. They have to get moving, finish packing up, and go! (He said a few other things, too, but I'm not going to repeat them.)

It is a funny thing about me—I can't speak the language, but if they enunciate their words and don't rattle like a runaway freight train (which we are all apt to do when we are excited), I can ferret out those nouns and verbs just fine. And I could see this sale was not going to go my way, because now she was furious with her husband because he'd just insulted her, and I was second banana in her field of attention and a stubborn customer at that, trying to buy a dress that wouldn't fit correctly.

I smiled politely and bowed out, saying, “It certainly is a beautiful dress. Thank you, but no thank you.” Which goes back to the fourth haggling rule: be prepared to walk away, no hard feelings.

Which goes hand in hand with haggling rule number eighteen: If the energy is bad or turns bad, or the seller has those bad vibes going, politely disengage and walk away. Speaking from an energetic point of view, the dress was now filled with negativity from our miscommunication and their argument. Who knows what other insults they hurled at each other that morning with the garment hanging right there to catch whatever? I could have cleansed the dress, but it simply wasn't worth it to me. Bad mojo? Let it go. Don't bring other people's pain and anger into your life. No physical item is worth the angst.

I could have walked away dejected at this haggling lesson, but I viewed it as a lesson in human interaction. I had actually thought of a more creative way to dress the scarecrow last night and had even gotten out of bed at 2:00 am to draw up a diagram. The dress wasn't on my list, and indeed, my creative focus did not include a dress at all. I realized that part of my failure in this instance had to do with my previous plans that I'd already committed to paper. I hadn't released this plan in my mind (because I liked it) and so, without the release, there could be no attraction. This, my friends, is haggling rule number nineteen: attraction always requires some sort of release or alignment. It's like breathing. You pull the air into your lungs, use what you need, and expel what your body doesn't need. Attraction/release, or release/attraction, is a fundamental law of the universe. Without this process, you don't get stuff. Ignore the process? You'll find yourself unhappy and empty-handed.

As I avoided mud puddles back to the car, I reviewed what all I'd learned today and how my general haggling tips and magickal haggling ideas I'd worked on performed well in every instance but one, and how that experience in itself turned out to be the most valuable lesson of the day.

At home, I left my goodies on the back porch until I could cleanse them, took out the dogs, and then stepped into a luxurious hot shower. With that steaming water pounding away the morning chill, I thanked Spirit for my good fortune and released any negativity I'd collected along the way. It's good to be a haggling HedgeWitch with a plan, I thought. When you believe all great things are possible in the universe, nothing can stop you—not even the poor economy or clouds dumping buckets of rain on your personal parade.

Welcome to my world!

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Appendix 4
HedgeWitch Fast Herbal Reference

The following brief list is a composite of what you might grow in your garden, find in the wild, or purchase at the grocery store. Certain spices are here, as they historically enhance spellwork, herbal charms, or may be used in cooking magick.

Allspice:
Money, love, success, healing, drawing charm. Element: Fire.

Angelica:
Protection, releasing, cleansing, controlling difficult situations, stimulating creativity and desire, breaking negativity, strength, stress relief, helping you get out of tight places, opening locks. Element: Fire.

Basil:
Cooperation, soothing hurt feelings between others, love divination, wealth, attracting customers, cleansing, good luck, house blessing, stopping situations or emotions that feel out of control, healing, helping in studying, making people stop bugging you, clearing the head, dream magick, banishing lies. Element: Fire.

Bay (Sweet):
Healing, strength, clearing the mind, wishes, sweet dreams, money. Element: Fire.

Beans:
Money, luck, growth, abundance (especially of food), prayers to the dead, preventing quarreling, fertility magick, good fortune, strength. Element: Air.

Cabbage:
Luck, good relationships, happy marriage, balance, stress relief, bountiful partnership in business. Element: Water.

Calendula (marigold):
Abundance, riches, self-control, happiness, cleansing, dream magick, strength, admiration, fast and healthful closing of wounds after accident or surgery. Element: Fire.

Carrots:
Lust, passion, fertility magick, opportunity, creative ideas. Element: Fire.

Celery:
Mental acuity, love, passion, lust, divination, dieting magick, attracting desires. Element: Fire.

Chamomile:
Good fortune, money, cleansing, releasing, attuning to higher self, aligning with Spirit, beauty, peaceful sleep, happiness, dieting, reducing problems that have gotten out of control, curbing a burning tongue (people that talk too much or people who talk trash), magick for eating disorders, prayers for children. Element: Water.

Chervil:
Awakening creativity or the positive spirit within the self, bringing warmth to a cold atmosphere, increasing vitality, clear sight, dreaming magicks, blessings for women. Element: Fire.

Chili pepper (hot peppers):
Speed, love, lust, fidelity in marriage or business, attracting desires and personal success, removing unwanted energies from your life. Element: Fire.

Chives:
Promoting flow in any situation, cleansing, use in new ventures. Element: Fire.

Cinnamon:
Longevity, strength, speed, good fortune, happiness, cleansing, success, love, passion. Element: Fire.

Clove:
Love, money, cleansing, passion, protection, spirituality, attracting fame and fortune, removing stress, meditation, easier breathing in tough situations, easing the pain of heartache. Element: Fire.

Comfrey:
Healing, travel safety, stability, anti-theft and property protection, rebuilding anything broken (healing, business, career, spirit), fertilizer, money spells. Element: Water.

Cucumber:
Fertility, harmony, fidelity, friendships, healing. Element: Water.

Daisy:
Love, lust, fame, popularity, joy, boosting energy, healing wounds, assisting in magick done during the day (especially at the noon hour). Element: Water.

Dandelion:
Flowers for wishes and calling good spirits, making money and bringing golden opportunity with courage, expansion in business; use the leaves for protection (the word
dandelion
is French, meaning “lion's tooth” because of the shape of the leaves; mix dandelion and nettle leaves together, steep, and pour water around doorstep to keep evil people from your home). Element: Air.

Dill:
Fast growth, help in starting a new venture, money, protection, lust, love, stopping gossip, prayers for children, abundance. Element: Fire.

Eucalyptus:
Protection, cleansing, healing, harmony, longevity, family unity, joy, cooling down a hot situation, encouraging someone to cough up the truth, breaking fevers, purifying the sick room (rosemary boosts the power). Element: Water.

Fennel:
Healing, protection, cleansing, remove evil spirits or energies. Element: Air.

Fern:
Luck, protection, longevity, health, money-drawing, rain magick, good fortune, finding treasures within yourself, beauty. Element: Air.

Garlic:
Protection for soldiers and emergency personnel, healing, anti-theft, cleansing, removing evil spirits, protection against foul weather or circumstances, protection against gossip, protection for travelers and vehicles, good luck, increasing personal strength and energy (mix with honey). Element: Fire.

Horehound:
Healing, protection, petitions to the gods, mental acuity, quick thinking, studying, breaking evil spells, taking the hot air out of a bully, encouraging someone to face their fears and overcome them, overcoming sluggishness or feeling overwhelmed. Known as the master healer's herb. Element: Air.

Hyssop:
Cleansing, removing evil spirits and ghosts, purifying an area. Element: Fire.

Ivy:
Used in magick to find the truth of any matter. Protection, healing, fidelity, abundance even during hard times, better listening habits or encouraging someone to listen to what you are saying. Element: Water.

Lavender:
Cleansing, happiness, joy, protection, sleep magick, longevity, harmony, attracting customers to a business, divination, beauty, stress relief, spells against depression. Element: Air.

Lemon balm (melissa):
Uplifting feelings, joy, harmony, laughter, increasing longevity, use to eliminate all those little headaches of life. Element: Air.

Lemongrass:
Divination, clear thinking, cleansing, removing evil people from your life, lust. Element: Air.

Lemon verbena:
Love, attraction, cleansing, anti-nightmare, friendship, encouraging people to see your worth, finding riches in unusual places, reducing anxiety, harmonizing your spirit, aligning your beliefs. Add to other herbal mixtures to increase their strength. Element: Air.

Lettuce:
Good fortune, protection, sleep magick, fidelity, love. Element: Water.

Lovage:
Love, attraction, cleansing, friendship, help in meeting new people. Element: Fire.

Mint:
Money, healing, travel, protection, love, lust, friendships, happiness, joy. Element: Air.

Apple mint:
Love, friendship, passion, money.

Chocolate mint:
Love, lust, money.

Mountain mint:
Money and stability.

Orange mint:
Cleansing, money, happiness.

Peppermint:
Stress relief, help in better understanding a situation, reduce the feeling of being pulled in too many directions too fast.