Held (14 page)

She was a
very pretty girl, but judging her from what I saw before me now, I bet she was a wild one.

I also noticed something that
Ron probably hadn’t. She had a bump. A baby bump. She was slender and the bump was slight, but I noticed it.

I looked to
Ron, but he was standing over her looking at her face. He didn’t appear to have noticed her bump. I certainly didn’t want to bring it up. But I also didn’t want him to do anything to hurt the baby. I wondered if he would let her go if he knew she was pregnant. Did he have any morals whatsoever? Did even madmen have a line they wouldn’t cross? I doubted it, and I kept my mouth shut.

“Look at you,” he said to her. “How could you do this to your body?” He knelt down beside her. “Your beautiful, young, soft body.” He
lightly ran the back of his hand up her thigh and side. Just before he touched her breast, he looked at me. “Does this bother you, Nicole?”

I didn’t know what to say so I said nothing.

“Does it bother you when I touch her this way?” he asked as he caressed her left breast with his right hand.

I looked at her face. She was crying.
If this made her cry, she was in trouble because this was nothing compared to what was going to happen to her.

“Nicole, do you feel any jealousy?”

Unsure of what to say but knowing I had to say something, I said, “A little.” I was afraid that if I said no, he’d get angry and harm her. I was also afraid that if I said yes, he’d rape her to make me more jealous.

He nodded. “I thought so.”

He got on his knees and leaned over her, kissing her breast. The unsettling part of the whole thing wasn’t that she was tied up or that we were both being held against our will. It was that while he licked her nipples, he stared at me. Even as he ran his left hand down her belly and settled between her legs, he kept eye contact with me. Just as he had when he’d been raping Stephanie’s corpse.

In my peripheral vision, I saw his hand moving between her legs, slowly at first, then gaining speed. His mouth went from licking and kissing her nipple to biting it, softly at first, then harder and hard
er.

She went from whimpering
and weeping silently to crying openly. Soon, she’d move on to screaming. They always did.

As he kept eye contact with me, he began to get really rough with her. The more she cried and struggled, the harder he bit her
, and the harder his hand went at her crotch.

When the screams started suddenly, I looked down at his hand and saw him pulling it out of her. The sight of blood made me first think he’d caused enough harm to make her lose the baby. But after a while, I realized it wasn’t enough blood for that
, and that the only person he had hurt was her. He shoved his hand into her again, all the way up to his wrist, and back out.

Able to only imagine what kind of pain that brought, I squeezed my legs together and winced. That poor girl.

“What about now, Nicole?” he asked.

I snapped my
eyes from his hand up to his face, which hovered only an inch or two above her bleeding breast.

“Are you jealous now? Would you like to trade places with her?”

“No,” I said quickly. I immediately felt guilty. She was pregnant. I should offer to take her place. And if I knew for a fact that he’d let her go, I would. But I had a feeling that even if I took her place, he’d kill her.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight for a moment and reminded myself that I had a baby of my own I had to think about. As Mason’s face floated behind my eyelids, I felt better about what I’d said. As unfair as it was to judge her this way, I told myself that she wouldn’t make a good mother anyway. I was hoping she would escape with her life and that of her unborn child, but if she didn’t, then it was probably for the best.

Maybe now I’d be able to sleep at night.

When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to find
Ron’s face right in front of mine. He was kneeling in front of me. I drew back a bit, startled.

“Nicole,” he said softly. “It makes me happy to know that seeing me touch another woman makes you jealous. It shows me that you care about me. Knowing this, I still don’t und
erstand why you won’t have me.”

He reached up and touched my face. That alone was bad, but this time it was worse. He touched me with the hand that had her blood on it. Some of her blood was on his chin as well. He leaned in and kissed my neck. It was all I could do to keep from cringing.

Behind him, she cried.

“You do things to me, Nicole. Things like sleep naked across the hall from me, teasing me. You let me touch you and kiss you, but you turn me away night after night. Why do you torment me so?” he asked as he nuzzled my neck and ran his bloody hand through my hair.

“You make me sleep naked, Ron. Remember?”

“Yes. Yes, I remember. You know I sleep naked too. Just waiting for the night you call out my name, summoning me to come to you. I’ll be there in a flash, you know.”

And in the blink of an eye, he changed. He went from cooing words of affection to me to yelling.

He stood up
quickly and paced around Crystal’s nude body, arms flailing and eyes wide. And penis erect, bulging at the front of his slacks.

No. I’d seen this play out before. I knew what he was getting ready to do. I had to stop him. If I didn’t at least try, I might as well be down on the floor beside him, raping her right along with him.

“Ron, I may be ready to have you.”

“Oh is that so?” he asked in a snotty tone without breaking his pace.

“Yes. I was going to tell you today. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I believe I’m ready.”

He shot a glance my way but didn’t stop pacing. “Why? Why now?”

“I’ve spent more time with you and feel that I know you better now.” The next part was a tough one to say, but after glancing at Crystal, I managed. “I like you now.”

He stopped pacing and looked at me. “You mean you didn’t like me before?”

Shit. No matter what I said with him, it was wrong. It was always the wrong thing to say and the wrong time to say it.

“I’ve always kind of liked you,” I stammered. “But now I like you more. I like you enough to have you.”

He shook his head.

“It’s true. I really do want you.” I was starting to sound like I mean
t it. I hoped he believed me.

Then, he smiled. He stepped closer to me. “You want me?”

“Yes.”

He unfastened
his khaki slacks and pulled them and his underwear down until all of his maleness was exposed. I watched as he walked toward me. My heart was beating furiously. This was it. I’d made it a long time, but now it was going to happen.

He stopped in front of me. I waited for him to remove the handcuffs. Surely, he would put me on the floor or the mattress, or maybe even make me stand up and turn around
, giving me a chance at least to get away. But he didn’t.

He put his hand on the back of my head
and pulled it toward his exposed crotch as he stepped closer to me.

“You bite me, Nicole, and I’ll cut off more than just her finger. Do you understand?”

Slowly, I nodded. I tried to talk myself into this. I didn’t want to do it. Not even a little bit. But it was clear that I had to. It would prevent her from suffering any more than she already was. I felt I owed her that much after having thrown her under the bus as much as I felt I had.

I opened my mouth and began the disgusting task at hand, doing my best to forget that what was now in my mouth had been inside a dead woman, and reminding myself of why I couldn’t bite him. I wanted to bite the damn thing off and watch him bleed to death, but I knew that wouldn’t happen. That would be suicide for me and nothing more than an inconvenient and embarrassing trip to the emergency room for him.

After several minutes which felt like hours, and nearly vomiting twice, he pulled himself away from me. I thought this would be the time when he’d release me and have his way. But that’s not what he did.

He turned and walked over to Crystal. He dropped to his knees between her legs. Looking over at me, he said, “I want you to watch this, Nicole. I think watching me with her will make you jealous enough to love me.” He smiled and began to rape her.

That was our routine for the next couple of weeks. After breakfast, he would make me go down to the basement with him and watch as he raped her. Then, after he stripped me naked and strapped me to the bed at night, I could see that he was once again aroused. After he left my room, I heard him going down the steps to the basement, where I was certain that he raped her again. That was twice a day, nearly every day. That poor girl.

Since he made me go down with him every day, I watched her deteriorate before my eyes. She became thin.
Her skin lost its glow, and even the pregnancy couldn’t bring it back.

When I’d first saw her, I’d thought she would’ve been tough, a fighter. I’d thought she would be a mouthy girl who fought until the end. But I was wrong. She was quiet. Instead of screaming and cursing at him the
way Melinda had, Crystal cried and whimpered. She begged sometimes, but always quietly.

I struggled to understand
Ron. I’d finally offered myself to him, but instead of taking me, he chose to make me watch as he raped Crystal. I just couldn’t understand him.

The only thing that made any sort of sense was if he really believed that I wanted him and thought that by making me watch him with her, it was a punishment to me for making him wait so long. It was crazy to a normal person, but to a psycho like
Ron, it would make perfect sense.

I didn’t want to watch him with her, though not for the reason he hoped. I didn’t want to watch two regular people have sex, and I sure as hell didn’t want to watch a man rape a pregnant
young woman.

That’s why I looked away. Just one time. And that was all it took.

I’d turned my head toward the mattress in the corner. I just couldn’t watch anymore. I heard Ron shout my name. When I looked back at him, he ordered me to keep watching. Then he began to strangle Crystal. With his big hands around her slender neck, he choked her until he’d finished with her, releasing his grip just before she passed out each time.

To keep him from causing her more harm similar to or worse than that, I always made myself watch. I focused on what I could see of his face, though, still trying to figure out what he was thinking.

This is the way things went until after my next period. Since I had no other method of keeping track of time, I had to use my menstrual cycle. This happened right after my period because that’s when Ron noticed that Crystal wasn’t having periods.

Ron
and I were sitting at the table after dinner playing cards and having drinks. After being silent for a long time, he finally asked what I hoped he never would.

“Why do you suppose Crystal doesn’t have periods?”

With no time to weigh my words, I said, “Well, maybe she hasn’t started her period yet.”

I felt him stare at me as I sorted through the cards in my hand.
“Is that possible?”

Shrugging it off as if it were no big deal, I said, “It’s possible. Some girls start really young, some really late, and some never start at all.”

He was silent a few more minutes. Then, “Have you not noticed her belly, Nicole?”

“Her belly?” I asked, trying to sound as though I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Yes, her belly. She has a noticeable protrusion from her midsection. Coupled with her lack of menstrual cycles, I can’t help but wonder if the girl’s pregnant.” Though he’d said it, it felt more like a question.

“I guess it’s possible,” I said lightly. I didn’t want him to know she was pregnant. I wasn’t sure if it would be better or worse if he knew, but I had to assume it would be worse.
I suppose I’d been trying to keep him from knowing with the hopes that I could find a way out and save her before he knew she was with child.

“Nicole, I think you know more than you let on.”

“How could I know anything? I’m not a doctor. I’ve never even touched her. How would I know?”

“You’re a woman.”

“So that makes me a psychic?”

“You can detect changes in another woman’s body.”

“Yeah, if I’d known her before maybe I could. How do I know that she just doesn’t have an addiction to Oreos?”

He didn’t chuckle as I expected him to. “That’s not an Oreo belly, Nicole, and you know that. It’s not a chip belly, or an ice cream belly, or even a beer belly. That is a baby belly. And I believe you know that.”

“But I don’t know that.”

“Have you noticed it?”

“Yeah.” I saw no reason to lie about that.

“And you didn’t bring it my attention?” he asked as he discarded his last card.

After adding up my score and telling him, I said, “You’re closer to her than me. You’re on top of her every day. I figured you’d know.”