Heliopause (2 page)

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And yes
I am afraid

to be with minutes

They have completely confused me

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The buildings are a sort

of interference

   how they stand

and complicate the sky

but nothing interferes

with the hour

   it is

as they say

          a law

unto itself

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Maybe I should say that

                 
I am sitting

in a room

        
different from

the one you are in now

and I am sitting at a distance

from the screen

    so that the hour

goes on

      and there is nothing

that I can undo

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Every morning the diminishing returns

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And now the smoke echoes the roundness

of the one building with a dome

the smoke in love and unable

to do anything more than repeat

the words of another

so after
I would sooner be dead

than let you touch me

             it cries hopeless

touch me

touch me

and then even that sound

                   that shape

drifts away

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If I could get closer I could see

the river

       reflecting back

the buildings' light

          but I am placed
here

at this fixed distance

and the lights are fixed
there

in the permanently imminent night

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I know there are other cities

                        other hours

where you can watch the lights

copying themselves

         
all neoned and strobe-hearted

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I know
all our yesterdays have lighted fools

the way to dusky death

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Today the reflected window

seems stupid

and too bright

replacing smoke with the pale sky

and the tree

            its bare branches

a cracking explosion

no eye could resist

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to justify desires with omens

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to walk away before the morning ends

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I'm counting my life

I'm counting the buildings

one   one   two

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If you are in the center it means

every edge you can imagine

is the very same distance away

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If this is my home

        If this is my screen

If these are my books

             imagined companions

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This is the city

I can describe it

     black

with power

an electricity

forced into light

 

 

Vernon Street

At that time they made

the telephone in order

to say

  
Come here

I need you

          and nothing

has changed except

here now you are

and I

 in order in

the order

that's arranged this child

who passes now

     and answers

an unheard question

            
It means

when your life is bad

and you are dying

you are running down a hill

going

  and then the boy screams

Next time I will live

my life in alphabetical order

Come here I need you

There are ways

    to settle down

There's an accidental light

the grass is showing

and my cat

          is so sad

that the house right now

divides us

         He is in

the window crying

but I am needed outside

where I have

ordered myself

   where I half

expect your voice

to turn me over

     and up

there the quiet sky the plane

is bringing noise to

above my head and in it

I need to show

you this

      Come here come here

Summer

Today you find yourself guilty

as the rim you split

an egg against

You press charges

You spell out your name

like the letters are medals

for good conduct in a bad war

The night moves in with you

into your room

until even your sleep

is not your own

Through the window

the grass tells you

to give up

and you are trying

but on the other hand

things keep you:

the moon, the cars, cars

You undress yourself

more deeply down

like this is the way

to get to the future

You let the darkness

medically examine you

So much can't be

put back together

To burn the house down

to burn the house up

It's the same problem

in any direction

You're matter

You turn on the light

Realistic Flowers

At the dollar store I bought

a bouquet of fake flowers

and what could have been

but somehow (incredibly) wasn't

It only cost $2 but still

that did not help

       I planted

the flowers among actual flowers

b/c what else can you do

I was so happy I could have

torn your head apart

I Am Glad of Your Arrival

Addressing the morning I say

it was good of you to come

                     as if

it were the sole visitor amidst scandal

when in fact

             it has been endless

with the trees and grass and cars

and the cowbell someone's using

as a wind chime

      in the winds

just remnants of the storm

that wouldn't stay

         I have thought

to run away from what I own

Who hasn't

            but what else do I have

Where would I go

         The sky is everywhere

at once like a big movie

and though I think I know how

it's going to end

      and with which music

there is uncertainty enough

to hold me still

It's an Empire Out There

I saw you walk

past the window box

and brush against

one flower

          I saw you

readjust your jacket

saw you kiss

 Long live

whatever needs our dying

Whatever feeds us

         and then

tells us
don't exist

Elegy for Neil Armstrong

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And This Too Comes Apart

People agree with sleep

They nod into it

but death they sometimes fight off

until they can't

     and then

from their graves

they stick out their tongues

Good for them

Good for the people

In the world I can see

there is one tree still raining

The sun blares around

              lights it up

in lines alongside the spiders'

They have an arrangement

a private design

When I'm arranged

into a mother

I will name my child

Incredulity
and like it so much