Hell on Heels Christmas (11 page)

“So that’s why you want me to come back to New York? Because of your company?”

“Of course not. I miss you.”

Regan rolled her eyes. “Well, screw your secretary again and you won’t feel so lonely anymore.”

“Regan, come back and we can work through this.”

She thought of Brooks, hunched over and aroused by her. She had been more turned on making out with Brooks than sex with Daniel. She hadn’t felt this alive, this emotional since she left
White Mist. She’d shut down completely and now that she freed the bindings on herself she couldn’t go back. She wouldn’t. Why should she go back to a job that she didn’t love and to a man who didn’t love her? In New York things seemed so complicated but here in White Mist everything was crystal clear and simple.

“I’m not coming back. Don’t call me
, Daniel,” she said and hung up.

She looked across the street at her mom’s house and then up at the stars. They shimmered and winked at her. She pocketed
the phone and forced away the tension that gripped her. She didn’t need money and she didn’t need Daniel. She wasn’t sure what she needed but she would find it.

“Mom says you need to come inside.”

Regan turned and saw her older nephew Bobby poking only his head out the front door.

“How come you’re here?”
he asked as she came in and shrugged off her coat.

“I’m visiting,” Regan said.

Bobby played with his bottom lip as he examined her. “You don’t look like Aunt Missy.”

Regan
made an exaggerated grimace. “I hope not. Don’t you think I’m prettier?”

Bobby took her question seriously. He looked her up and down and then shrugged.

“I guess.”

Because he was so damn cute and serious
Regan went with her impulse to mortify him. She leapt on Bobby and pressed loud, smacking kisses all over his face. He yelped and tried to run away but she wrapped her arms around him to hold him hostage. When she finally let him go he glared at her, rubbed his face with his shirt and plopped on the couch where his younger brother watched a Harry Potter movie.

In the kitchen
Holly stood behind Johnny’s chair, whispering in his ear as he played poker against Max and Wade. Johnny’s eyes sparkled as he threw a bunch of dollar bills on the table. Had he been planning to go to a strip club? Regan settled on the couch with Bobby who scooted to the opposite side and threw her a dirty look. She settled on her side of the couch and dozed. At some point her younger nephew Luke curled into her side.

“Luke’s a wimp,” Bobby said with a sneer.

Luke stuck his tongue out at his brother and settled more comfortably against his aunt. Regan put her arm around him and fell asleep to the sound of her nephews cheering Harry Potter on.

Regan groaned. Damn phone. She was unemployed. Why the hell was it ringing so damn early in the morning? She cracked open one eye and found that she was still on her brother’s couch with Luke using her butt as a pillow. She dug her phone out of her pocket and glanced at it. Brooks. She
so
didn’t want to talk to him. She pressed the ignore button and scrolled through the texts, emails and voicemails, most of which were from Daniel, that asshole. Brooks called again and she pocketed her phone and scooted out from under Luke. She snooped around until she found a bathroom with a Spiderman shower curtain and Darth Vader toothbrushes.

Her phone rang again as she brushed her teeth with her finger. She ignored it and walked out of the bathroom to find that all hell had broken loose. Holly was yelling at Luke to wake up and change his clothes for school, Max was shoveling food into his mouth at the table and cursing wh
en he tripped over a fire truck. Bobby thundered down the stairs and thumped his little brother on the head. Luke woke up, howling and crying and Holly slapped Bobby upside the head, making him shout and curse just like his father.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to hit your little brother?”
Holly snapped and punctuated this by shoving Bobby towards the kitchen. “Eat and get your ass outside for the bus.”

Johnny came down the stairs in the same clothes he had
on last night. He looked rumpled but wide awake and excited as he watched the mayhem taking place. Regan and Johnny backed into the wall as little Luke grabbed a plastic sword and charged after his brother and thumped him on his head. Bobby jumped on his brother and they rolled on the carpet, fists flying. Holly sighed as someone knocked on the door.

“That’s my ride! You two,” she kicked Bobby. “Shape up. I have to go to work. Max, you get
your
sons to school!”

Holly paused a moment to
wave sweetly at Johnny before she ran out the door. Max put his bowl in the sink and walked over to his sons. He pulled them apart in the same gesture he used on Halloween and tossed Bobby into the kitchen and gave Luke a shove up the stairs.

“You have five minutes to get dressed, brush your teeth and get your back
pack,” Max warned Luke and turned to Johnny and Regan. “Morning.”

“Sure,” Regan said and stared at her brother. “You have demons for sons.”

Max beamed like a proud papa. “I know.”

Regan went into the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee as Max forced a pop tart on Bobby and shoved him out the door. He did the same for Luke just as the bus pulled up in front of the house.

“What are you two doing today?” Max asked as he pulled on work boots.

“No idea,” Regan answered.

“Has mom or Missy seen
him
yet?” Max said with a jerk of his head towards Johnny who was playing with the boy’s action figures.

“Not yet. Why?”

“Looked him up on the internet. He’s huge. Mom and Missy keep up with that celebrity crap.”

Regan grinned. “I know. What’s the best way to break it to Missy?”

“You could say you’re dating him. That’ll give Missy a heart attack.”

“I could do that
.”

“Well, anyway, I’m off. Can you call Brooks?”

She snapped to attention. “Why?”

“He’s called me twice. I know it
’s about you. Call him, will ya, or else he’s gonna be a bitch to work with today.”

Max slammed the door behind him and Regan went into the kitchen with Johnny. They sat in silence, sipping coffee for a few minutes.

“How could you give this up?” Johnny asked, looking around at the wrecked kitchen.

She laughed. “Most people would see what you saw this morning and call the cops. You’re the only one I know that would think having a daily battle with kids is fun.”

“This is great,” Johnny said and lifted his mug that said
unicorns fart
.

“Classy,” Regan said.

“They act like I’m one of them,” Johnny said proudly.

She pointed her finger at him. “That’s just it! I’m here for a few days and everyone acts like I never left. My high school sweetheart is conveniently available so people think we’re just going to start dating each other again and you know what? I’m going with it. But you know what? I’m not going to let it continue because what we had in the past is gone. I’m a different person. I am-”

“Running.” Johnny looked at her over his unicorn mug. “Why are you fighting it?”

“Fighting what?”

“This place. I never would’ve pictured you in a place like this but now that I see you here I can’t believe you ever left it.”

“I have bad history here.”

“So? No one’s kicking you out of town and you’re better here. You’re more relaxed. I can tell.”

“I’m waiting for my restlessness to return,” she confessed. “I’ve suppressed it for so many years and now that I can do whatever I want
again, I’m waiting for it to creep up on me.”

“You don’t have to follow that urge,” Johnny pointed out. “You can
resist
it.”

“Don’t talk to me about resisting impulses when you’ve been married three times.”

“Hey, I felt something for them.”

“You were bored,” she corrected. “You thought it would spice up your life.”

He cleared his throat. “It did. For a while.”

“Johnny, if you weren’t an artist I’d say you were crazy.”

Johnny flapped a limp hand. “Flattery.”

Her phone rang again and she groaned when she saw Brooks name.
God, he was such a stubborn ass stalker. He hadn’t changed at all. When they were teenagers the moment he realized she was attracted to him he tracked her down until she gave in. That hadn’t changed. She was in White Mist for less than a week and he was hounding her. She took pity on Max and picked up the phone.

“What do you want, Brooks?”

“You. Where are you?”

“I’m at Max’s house. Why?” She pulled the phone away from her ear. “He hung up on me that bastard!”

Max’s front door opened and the sound of heavy footsteps sounded in the foyer and then Brooks appeared. His eyes fastened on Regan and she felt her heart speed up. He strode over, cupped her face with his hands and kissed her. It was a hard kiss mixed with lust and anger. She tried to pull away but he held her still and thrust his tongue into her mouth. She stiffened as he slanted his mouth over hers to deepen the kiss. She knew she should fight him more, that she shouldn’t encourage him but his touch revved every feminine nerve she had. She wrapped her hands around his thick forearms and dug her nails in. He smiled and pulled away.

“Morning.”

She swallowed. “Morning.”

“I was thinking about you all night. Come to my house tonight.”

“No.”

“I’ll pick you up at
three.”

She frowned. “Dinner at
three?”

“We’ll eat after.”

She couldn’t misinterpret his meaning. She shoved him away and got to her feet. “Do you think I’m a slut?”

Brooks frowned. “No. Why?”

“I’m back in town for less than a week and you think I’ll have sex with you.”

Brooks looked bewildered. “But it’s you and me.”

“And I haven’t seen you for ten years!”

He gave her a level look. “Can you tell me you don’t want me?”

“That’s not the point!”

“Yes it is. If you want me and I want you I don’t see what the problem is.”

“The problem is that we don’t even know each other anymore. The problem is everybody is going to throw a fit when I leave because you’re such a good guy and I shouldn’t be with you.”

“I don’t care what anyone thinks.”

They both became aware of Johnny when he started scribbling madly on the deck of cards on the table with a Sharpie. When they stopped he made a “carry on” gesture with his hands.

“Since when do you care what anyone thinks?” Brooks demanded.

“I don’t but I’m not a stupid kid anymore either. Last time you made all the moves and the only time I said no to you was when you proposed. You knew I wasn’t wife material but you did it anyway.”

“I wanted you to be mine. That’s all I was thinking about.”

She jabbed her finger at him. “That’s what I mean! You weren’t thinking that in the future we would make each other miserable. You were only thinking about then and there.”

“Why do you think we’d make each other miserable?”

She stomped her foot. “Hello! We’re complete opposites! You like having your routine and I need space. I like being free and you like rules. See where I’m going with this? Let me just get this through your head- nothing is going to happen between you and me.”

B
rooks face was expressionless. “Is that so?”

She put her hands on her hips. “Yes, that’s so!”

He came forward, ducked her fist, gave her a swift kiss and walked out of the house. Regan stared after him, pissed and horny. She looked at Johnny who had at least ten cards in front of him filled with his tiny handwriting.

“Please don’t tell me that inspired you,” she snapped.

“Okay,” Johnny said, still bent over the cards.

“Can you believe him?”

“Yeah. So when are you going to have sex with him?”

She grabbed his cards and tossed them in the trash can. He squawked indignantly and dug through the rubbish and slapped coffee grains off the cards
and tucked them safely into his jeans. He sat across from Regan and mimed playing the piano and heard the notes of the song forming in his head. His heart leapt. It was coming back. All because of Regan and a little town in Montana called White Mist.

After they showered
at her mom’s house and Johnny dropped his duffel in Max’s old room they went into town. In the short amount of time she’d been in White Mist it had gotten significantly colder. The festive orange and black Halloween decorations had been taken down and were being replaced by Thanksgiving colors. The streets were covered with orange and yellow leaves and a cold breeze passed through town as they parked at the curb of
Valerie & Paula’s. Regan paused in front of the window which was now filled with warm colored candles, beautifully etched wineglasses and intricate centerpieces.

“
Nice,” Johnny commented.

“It’s gorgeous. You know, I was too young to care what was in my mom’s shop but she actually does have good taste.”

They walked in and the bell tinkled overhead. This time Regan looked around the shop with a professional eye. Working for a hotel chain made her take in details because presentation was everything from the light fixtures to the carpet. The merchandise in her mom’s store that she cast such a disdainful eye upon as a teen now fascinated her. Valerie & Paula’s was aimed towards enhancing people’s homes from the simple everyday items that made events special to the intricate pieces that turned a house into a home. Regan saw a dozen items she wanted and nearly slapped herself when the house she mentally decorated was Brooks’. Hell no.

“Can I help- Oh Regan. I was wondering what happened to you. Max sent me a picture of Luke sleeping on you. I posted it on facebook and I got fifty likes already. You should see the comments-”

Valerie stopped when Johnny came around the corner. Her eyes got wide and her mouth moved but no sound came out of her.

“Mom, this is the friend I was telling you about. This is Johnny.”

“Bentley,” Valerie wheezed.

Johnny smiled charmingly and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Without moving her eyes from Johnny she said, “Regan, a rock star?”

Regan shrugged. “It was a phase.”

“Hey!” Johnny protested.

Regan laughed as Valerie snapped out of her daze. “Johnny Bentley-”

“Just Johnny.”

“Johnny it is. What are you doing with my daughter?”

Johnny’s eyes lit up as they did when he was on stage. Regan watched her mom get sucked into his enthusiasm.

“I’ve been looking for inspiration for my next album. I write most of my songs but I just haven’t heard anything and it’s been two months. Usually I visit Regan in between tours so I came
here and this morning it hit me.”

“What did?” Valerie asked.

“Inspiration. Regan was fighting with that guy. What’s his name?”

Valerie shot Regan an unreadable look. “Brooks.”

“Right. Regan and I were talking about impulses, relationships and Brooks comes in and I listen to Regan make all these excuses not to have sex with him-”

“Hey!” Regan stomped on his foot.

He groaned and limped away from Regan with an arm around her mother. “And I started to hear the lyrics of this great song. I think I’m going to call it
Dodging the Inevitable
.”

Regan snatched a bouquet of sticks and plastic berries and
smacked Johnny over the head. “I dare you to write that song.”

“I wrote one about us,” Johnny said, rubbing his ear.

“Yeah.
Wild Weekend
was fine but this is different.”

“Why is it different?” Johnny waited for an answer but when he didn’t get one he tapped his nose. “Because you
care
. Don’t you see it, Regan?”

She did and she didn’t
like it, especially since her mom was staring at her with a cautiously hopeful expression. She didn’t want people dissecting her love life and she didn’t like the thought of her private war with Brooks being turned into a song that people could mock. She opened her mouth to blast Johnny but he was caught up in his vision and so was Valerie. Johnny raved about Max and Holly’s hospitality and it warmed Regan’s heart.

“I’m thinking of naming a song based on that called
No One’s A Stranger
. What do you think?”

“I think I’m going to buy your next album,” Valerie said.

“I think it’s going to be awesome. Maybe the whole record will be based on homecomings or something.”

“Anyway,” Regan said and pushed Johnny to the side. “We just came in to say hi. Johnny’s only going to be here for a couple of days and then he’ll be off again.”

“Well, I’m off tomorrow. What are you planning to do?”

“Maybe I’ll take Johnny to the lakes so he can write.” And be on his way, she thought.

“That sounds nice. Maybe I’ll come with you. Has Johnny been around town yet?”

Regan sighed. “No.”

“If I could put you in the store window we could get some traffic going through here,” Valerie said with a smile.

Regan’s mind switched gears. “So, mom, how’s business?”

“Fine.”

“How fine?”

Valerie raised a brow. “Fine enough. I manage my bills.”

“But you could be doing better?” Regan pushed.

“Of course. The crowds have been thin lately but we’re getting by.”

“Are you online?”

Valerie blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Do you have an online store where you sell your merchandise?”

“No.”

“You should. This stuff is great,” Regan said, running her hands over a homemade tablecloth she would pay dearly for.

“I’m not good with all that stuff. Paula and I can manage a store but online stuff we leave to the experts.”

Regan didn’t push but
an idea began to form in her mind. She was about to say her goodbyes to her mom when Kerry walked in. Her eyes narrowed to mean slits when she saw Regan but went wide when she spotted Johnny. She paled and clutched her chest.

“You’re Johnny Bentley,” Kerry breathed.

“Guilty. Nice to meet you. And you are?”

“Kerry.”

“Are you a friend of Regan’s?”

“Huh?”

“Used to be,” Regan informed him snidely. “Nice seeing you Kerry but we’ve got to run. Ta ta.”

“Something I need to know?” Johnny asked when they got into the car.

“Nah. Let me show you White Mist.”

They drove around the town and she showed him all there was to see in about an hour. She talked about the history and surprised herself with how much she remembered. Johnny looked up every now
and then but otherwise wrote feverishly in a notebook. Regan gave up and drove them back to her mother’s house. She had a talk with Erica at the New York office and smoothed over some snags and then emailed some of her hotel contacts and looked in the fridge to see what she could make for dinner. She came up with hamburger mixed with mushroom soup and vegetables and checked in every now and then with Johnny who was on his laptop. He switched from a text document to a virtual recording studio. He would sing a few bars, pause, go back to the text document, edit, sing a few more bars, nod and go back to the recording studio. If she hadn’t dated him in the past she would have been irritated but she was used to this side of him and she was happy he found his muse. She just hoped he hadn’t found inspiration at her expense.

She just finished making dinner when there was a knock on the door.
She opened it and stared at Allison, Brooks’ ex-wife. She had long blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes. Her skin was pure and unblemished and the tentative smile on her face made Regan wonder what expression she had on her own face. She didn’t know Allison that well. She was Missy’s classmate and all Regan could think at the moment was this woman was the perfect match for Brooks. Allison looked like what she was, a wife and mother who was content with her life in White Mist. Allison held out a box.

“These are for Aunt Val. I made more wineglasses.”

Regan took the box and looked down at the wineglasses etched with beautiful designs. She mentally smashed them to pieces in her mind and forced herself to smile at Allison. Being jealous of a woman who married your boyfriend from high school was crazy, right? She had no right to feel this way so why did she? Allison’s appeal was obvious, even to Regan. Allison radiated goodness, purity and contentment. She was what Regan avoided at all costs. Just being near her made Regan feel dirty. But the question that kept revolving in her mind was why would Allison marry Brooks knowing he proposed to another woman six months before?

“They’re pretty,” Regan said
and tried to close the door.

“Please, wait.”

Regan paused. Allison twisted her hands together, licked her lips and met Regan’s unreadable eyes.

“You probably know that I married Brooks right after you left.”

Regan was surprised with her bluntness. She set the box down inside the house and leaned against the doorjamb with her arms crossed.

“I heard that,” Regan said.

Allison took a deep breath. “I heard that you two are back together.”

“We’re not.”

Allison blinked big eyes. “Oh. I thought I heard-”

“Gossip’s a bitch. I have no intention of getting back together with Brooks.”

Her expressive face turned troubled. “This is none of my business but I just wanted to tell you he’s always cared for you. I knew that even when I married him.”

Something inside of her ripped.
It hit her all over again that Brooks put a ring on this woman’s finger, slept with her and lived with her for years in a position he had once asked her to fill. Even though she turned Brooks down she couldn’t stop the rage or agony that streaked through her. Her hands trembled as emotion flooded her.

She managed to say, “Your marriage to Brooks is none of my business. I’ll give the glasses to my mom.”

Allison opened her mouth to say more but Regan closed the door in her face and stood staring at it for several minutes before she sat on the couch. She didn’t realize she was crying until a sob caught her by surprise. Shocked and mortified by the sound she clapped a hand over her mouth and sat there, staring straight ahead as old scars opened and bled. Her whole body shook as feelings she suppressed over years frothed over.

“Regan?”

Hearing her mom’s voice made everything worse. The sobs escaped with a vengeance and she couldn’t see her mom’s face through the tears. She couldn’t even explain what was happening to her. It hit her all at once and the past and the present collided in a mishmash that held her immobile and emotionally wrecked.

“I was wondering when it would hit you,” Valerie
said as she sat beside Regan.

Regan shook her head and tried to speak but
only mewling cries came out. Valerie put her arms around her and when Regan resisted she slapped her daughter smartly and forced Regan to accept her embrace. Regan fought it for a minute before she gave in and cried her heart out. It was a survival instinct to encase her heart in ice when she left White Mist and it melted the moment Valerie welcomed her home. She desperately tried to stuff her emotions away but they wouldn’t be denied any longer. She’d been secretly expecting to break down when she saw her mom or Brooks. She never anticipated that Brooks’ ex-wife would be the one to break through her barriers. Allison was the one person she couldn’t gloss over. It was one thing to know of Allison’s existence and another to be faced with her in the flesh, trying to talk to Regan about their marriage. A marriage that shouldn’t have happened. A marriage that Regan couldn’t admit gutted her more than anything else had.

“Brooks
’ here.”

Johnny’s voice penetrated through the storm of tears. She blew her nose on a Kleenex and leaned back into the couch as a nasty headache made her temples pound.

“H-he can k-kiss my ass,” Regan sobbed.

“It’s okay, honey. I’ll take care of him,” Valerie said and went to the door.

Johnny sat beside Regan and pulled her into his side. Regan turned her face into his chest to muffle her sobs. He didn’t ask questions and she was grateful. She heard Brooks’ deep voice and it made her cry harder. That asshole bastard. He thought he could just pick up where they left off when he married someone else? He must be high. She must be too to let him go as far as he had.

“He’s gone and not happy about it,” Valerie
said, coming back into the room.

She sat on Regan’s other side and patted her back.

“W-what did you s-say?” Regan said raggedly.

“You’re not feeling well and he’s gonna have to take my word for it. When he tried to pass me I pulled out the big guns and asked if he thought I was a liar. That made him retreat but he may try to come back again tonight,” Valerie said.

She pulled Regan sideways so her head rested on her mom’s lap. Valerie brushed back Regan’s tear dampened hair and she relaxed as the tears died down. Johnny pulled her feet onto his lap and Regan felt coddled and soothed even though she wished she were alone. Mortification would come later. Right now she was too emotional to care how weak she was being.