Heller (12 page)

I started
slowly on the treadmill, giving myself a proper five-minute
warm-up. I revved up to a decent running speed, zoning out
everything, staring straight ahead at the blank plasma TV, thinking
about random things: what I would cook for dinner that night, the
complicated plot of the thriller I was reading, the revoltingly
gory movie I had watched with Daniel and Niq the other night that
was still giving me nightmares. I ran for another twenty minutes
before I slowed down again for a warm-down. When I finally stopped,
puffing heavily, I gave a small scream of fear when I turned around
to dismount to find Heller standing behind me, arms crossed across
his insanely wonderful chest. He must have been watching my running
session and my first thought was to hope that he hadn’t been
looking at my butt the whole time.

I couldn’t
help but notice again that he was virtually naked except for those
tiny skintight gym shorts.
Oh God, give me strength
, I
prayed frantically. He was a beautiful man with a beautiful body, a
huge temptation for any woman, but especially for a poor girl who
hadn’t had any action for a while. Luckily for my self-control that
morning though, sex was the last thing on his mind.

“You have a
good running style, but running’s not enough,” he criticised. “You
need to do weights as well.”

“I know. I
haven’t finished yet. There’s more to my workout,” I said mildly
between breaths, scrambling away from him over to the mirrored
weights section to grab the two-kilogram hand weights. I went
through my normal routine, proud that I had recently graduated from
the one-kilogram weights I’d used when I’d first started. I was
deliberately taking it slowly.

“That’s not
enough,” he disapproved, repeating himself. “You won’t build big
muscles with those.” His contempt for my little weights was
manifest.

“I don’t want
to be too muscled,” I explained patiently as I exerted myself with
my little weights. I desperately kept my gaze ahead at myself in
the mirror, trying not to make eye contact with him. God only knew
what weight he had just been lifting. I had no doubt it would put
me to shame.

“Why not?” he
demanded.

I suppressed
my sigh as I finished my last bicep curl. “Because I’m a woman and
I want to look womanly, not manly.”

There was a
significant pause as his eyes roamed freely over my body. “Oh, I
don’t think you need to worry about that,” he finally said, with a
calculatingly suggestive smile.

Okay, he
probably had been looking at my butt while I ran
, I decided. I
sighed, hoping I wouldn’t, but already feeling a pinkness creeping
into my cheeks at his words. I wished he would just leave and stop
watching me, especially when he was standing there with almost
nothing on. I wasn’t wearing that much myself either to be honest,
regretting the small Lycra shorts and mid-riff revealing top I had
pulled on. He was getting a good look at my flesh.

“I’ll move up
to larger weights when I feel competent with these ones,” I
promised, trying to distract him from his scrutiny of my body.

“Talk to me
when you do. I can help you devise a program.” He strode towards
the door, but in the mirror I could see him casting me a prolonged
glance as he left.

*****

After a couple
more weeks, I felt like I had settled in at
Heller’s
. I’d
helped bring in a handful of new and ongoing clients, which I knew
pleased Heller even though he didn’t say so. I was also becoming
incredibly fit and had developed close bonds with Daniel and Niq. I
was on friendly terms with the twins. Well, Sid was friendly at
least, but Clive not at all. I hadn’t yet set eyes on Victor and
Heller himself remained an enticing enigma. Occasionally I caught a
glimpse of humanity inside, but mostly to me he was still a solid
barrier of cool, mocking aloofness.

However, there
were some issues to sort out before I could really feel like part
of the family.

One day,
Heller called me into his office and heatedly remarked that I
seemed to be disappearing every couple of hours and was I a
secret smoker
? To him, this was clearly a severe crime and a
major betrayal of his trust, and I think it came as a relief for
him to learn that it was my female fastidiousness that kept me
jogging upstairs to use my own bathroom. There was an awkward
moment when I was explaining about the importance of female hygiene
bins and that at a certain time of every month . . . I’m not sure
Heller had ever considered the necessity before, and I will swear
that he even reddened a little when I brought it up. But he never
questioned me about my disappearances again.

Then I tackled
everybody’s free access to my flat. On a number of occasions I had
been startled by finding one of them in my flat when I thought I
was alone. On one particular occasion I had left my bathroom after
a long shower, clad only in a towel, to find the four men in my
flat, drinking my coffee and casually discussing the security of my
windows. After that, I called a special staff meeting. There I gave
a very angry and detailed lecture about privacy and why it was so
important for a woman, particularly a woman living with a bunch of
men, again especially at certain times. Daniel, Niq and the twins
were aghast, if not actually traumatised. Heller instructed
everyone to respect my privacy and to knock on my door in the
future.

After those
successes, I decided to confront Heller about the decor in the
office. I begged him to let me soften it up, shrewdly arguing that
it would offer Niq a better study environment if we provided some
indoor plants and stimulating paintings. He finally agreed, wearily
worn down by my daily assaults. That afternoon, Rumbles, Niq and I
drove to the local mega-hardware barn. Niq was so excited by the
rare outing that he chatted away the entire trip, barely drawing
one breath. Rumbles and I exchanged glances, smiled at each other
and listened patiently, joining in when we were given a chance. We
purchased a number of potted indoor plants, and I impulsively added
a small water feature to the trolley as well, paying for it all
with a
Heller’s
credit card. We arranged everything
strategically around the office. I made sure I had one of the
plants on my desk to partially hide me from Heller’s view.

The next day I
invited around an art dealer (after he was screened by Heller, of
course) who looked around in dismay at the severity of the brick
walls and promptly supplied us with three modern and beautiful
watercolours by a rising local artist. He assured a
flat-expressioned Heller that the paintings were worth every cent
of the exorbitant price and would become quite valuable in the
future as the artist became better known (he was right). Daniel and
I spent the following morning hanging them and when finished, I
glanced around, satisfied with my work.

Heller came
out of his office, raised his eyebrows at the gently gurgling water
feature I’d placed on a small table in a corner near Niq’s desk,
rubbed the leaf of one of the philodendrons, spent a moment
contemplating each painting and walked back into his office without
saying a word.

“He likes it,”
Daniel whispered to me.

“How can you
tell?” I whispered back, disappointed at the lack of feedback.

“Because he
didn’t say that he hated it,” he replied with a smile.

I thought
about that and realised it was true. If Heller hadn’t approved of
what I’d done, he would have let me know with no uncertainties.
Happier, I secretly patted myself on the back and went to collect
my notepad and pen. It was time for the weekly staff meeting that
was held in Heller’s office and attended by him, Daniel, Sid, Clive
and me. I wasn’t quite sure why I was included as I was rarely
expected to contribute a word.

As was the
practice at these meetings, Daniel gave us a briefing on new
enquiries that he had logged during the last week and upcoming
confirmed assignments. He advised us of a potentially big
assignment coming up in the next few days that we would be
competing for against other firms. Heller allocated work to us
individually and then we each gave a brief summary of our
activities since we’d last met. Sid described a new line of
micro-cameras he had recently read about that seemed worth
investigating, and promised to provide Heller with some more
information. Clive grunted his way through a problem the security
staff were experiencing on assignment with accessing buildings
before and after hours. Daniel promised to look into it and then it
was his turn to discuss the accounts, noting with pleasure that
receipts were up for the past month. Heller’s eyes flicked over to
me momentarily, but he didn’t say anything. He mostly sat in
silence, listening intently. He gave everyone an opportunity to
talk, not dominating the meeting but firmly making decisions when
required. And then the meeting was over and that was that for
another week. Everyone trooped out back to work.

After about
the fourth week of working for him, I walked into Heller’s office
uninvited. He finished what he was writing with a flourish and
gestured for me to sit down. I had plucked up a lot of courage to
come in, deciding that I had to do it and that quickly was best,
which I vaguely remembered as kind of a quote from some Shakespeare
play.

“When you
appointed me, you said that I was on trial for a month,” I reminded
him after I’d taken a seat.

“Did I?” he
pondered coolly, his head on one side, eyes resting on me,
uncharacteristically vague.

“Yes, you
did,” I replied firmly. “And that month has now passed. I would
like some permanency, so do you confirm my employment or not?” My
heart was thumping.

“Hmm,” he said
thoughtfully, swinging back on his chair, “let me think. You’ve
cost me a lot of money in start-up and upkeep but you have brought
in quite a few new clients, mostly women, which is the reason why I
hired you. But on the other hand, I do believe that you have made
some outrageous promises in the course of bringing in these new
clients. It will probably take an era to untangle them, and I’m not
even sure that some of them are physically or morally possible.” He
looked at me and considered. “On the plus side you have become
quite the favourite of Daniel, Niq and the twins, and even Victor
had something complimentary to say about you the other day.”

“Really?” I
found that hard to believe. I hadn’t yet met the man, if he even
existed, which I was beginning to doubt.

“Yes. He said
that your literary tastes were impeccable, and that every time he
goes to the library to get a book, you have already just borrowed
it.”

“Is that so?”
I was sceptical.

“Yes, quite
so,” Heller replied laconically. “But to continue, on the minus
side, you do drink more than I prefer. Every day, I believe, you
have some wine.”

“A glass or
two is beneficial for your health,” I recited piously.

“And also on
the minus side, you’re very untidy.”

I sat up in my
seat. “What? Exactly where am I untidy?” I burst out, exasperated.
I had made a super-human effort over the last month to be as neat
as possible and to be accused of untidiness really pissed me
off.

“Your desk,”
Heller said. “You leave it messy each day. Look at it now.” I
glanced back at my desk and noticed a pen resting near the
keyboard, a file lying open on top and my coffee cup sitting to one
side.

“I think
you’re really stretching now, Heller,” I said bluntly.

“And you’re
very noisy as well. This office used to be peaceful but now all I
hear is the three of you laughing and chatting all day long.” I
stared at him in disbelief. “I’m not sure everyone is working as
hard as they ought to be.”

I wasn’t able
to control my rude snort. “Heller! We’re having what is commonly
known as ‘fun’. You should try it some time. You might enjoy it.”
He was beginning to try my patience. “And for your information, it
makes us all more productive. And anyway, Daniel and Niq love
having me around. They would hate it if I had to leave.”
So
there!
I thought childishly.

He didn’t
respond, but merely leant back in his chair and gazed back at me
with an irritating serenity.

“Now, just
tell me. Am I confirmed or not?” I pushed back my chair and stood
up, ready to stamp out of the office in high temper if I didn’t
hear what I wanted to hear. I have a problem with my temper
sometimes and I’d been reining it in for four long weeks.

“What happens
if I say no?” Heller asked, standing up also and coming around to
face me, arms crossed.

I put my hands
on my hips and looked daggers up at him. “I will immediately turn
around, go to my flat, take off this outfit and everything you have
bought me, put on my old clothes, grab my backpack, say goodbye to
the boys and walk out the door. Forever,” I replied, silently
daring him to say ‘no’ so I could do as I threatened.

“You have none
of your old clothes left,” he reminded me with the ghost of a
smile.

I floundered
for a moment. “Well, I . . . I guess I’ll have to wrap myself in a
towel then.”

“But all the
towels belong to me,” he said, his smile becoming more open, his
white, even teeth gleaming in his lightly tanned face. “And I’m
afraid that I couldn’t possibly let you take one with you.”

Our eyes
duelled for a long minute. “Fine,” I snapped, defiant. “Be like
that. I’ll walk out of here with nothing on at all. Is that what
you want?”

He looked down
at me with an expression on his face that implied he was greatly
entertained by my theatricals. When he spoke, his voice was cool
and reasonable, far from how I was feeling. “Calm down, hothead. No
matter how alluring that scenario might be to me, as it happens
what I want is for you to continue working here and I will confirm
your employment. You haven’t been the complete disaster I
predicted, and frankly, Niq and Daniel would murder me if you left
because of me. You’re right – they do love having you around. Are
you happy now?”