Hello World (24 page)

That would
explain why neither of the boys were answering their phones on Sunday. We
finally reach the house and Carrie lets us in. The house seems a lot quieter
than usual, and no one starts shouting when we enter. It seems emptier somehow.
A lot emptier.

Joy
appears from the kitchen, not looking at all like her usually strong self,
wrapping a thick woolly jumper around her tightly, her face red and eyes
blotchy.

‘Oh, Neve,
there you are,’ Joy says in a soft tone, a small smile still visible. She opens
her arms and embraces me.

‘I hope
I’m not intruding?’ I ask quietly. Joy smiles.

‘Never.
Can I get you tea or anything?’

I shake my
head.

‘No, thank
you. I was wondering, is it possible to see Blake at all?’

‘Of
course, I think he’s upstairs,’ she tells me. I quickly cross the hall as
Carrie approaches her mother and they both fall into hushed, sobbing whispers.

Checking
his room to no avail, I head up into the boy’s makeshift den, knocking on the
door before pushing it open carefully.

Blake is
sitting on the edge of the sofa, his hands clasped together and just looking at
the screen in front of him, still playing one of their ridiculous zombie games,
although the controller has been discarded next to him. His posture is stiff
and his usually shining eyes are now dull and lifeless as he stares at the
screen, dark circles ringing them.

He doesn’t
seem to acknowledge me, trapped in a world of his own.

Maybe this is a bad idea
, my mind scolds. Without saying a word, I turn to leave, but
Blake finally stirs.

‘Mum told
me to come home, try and rest for a while. That didn’t happen so I figured that
maybe shooting some heads off some zombies might do the trick,’ he smiles
wryly, looking up at me. ‘It hasn’t worked so far. You too?’

‘Something
like that,’ I shrug from the doorway. Blake nods in understanding and leans
back into the sofa, turning off the game and patting the seat next to him. I
pace over and slide in beside him, his warm arms folding around me and helping
to calm my shaking. Our fingers lace together and we just sit for a while,
taking comfort in each other’s presence.

‘I’m
sorry,’ I blurt out once after a few minutes. ‘I’m sorry for being such a dick
these past few days.’

Blake
chuckles slightly.

‘I’m sorry
too, you were right about what you said about Alex, about how you were scared
to let him go,’ Blake sighs. ‘I thought I understood what it meant to lose
someone, I’ve been preparing for it long enough, and I think in some ways I’ve
already lost parts of Jay, yet I realise now that I didn’t have a clue. I think
I do now, after today. I really thought for a moment that he wasn’t going to
wake up…’ Blake trails off, swallowing the lump in his throat.

Lost for
words, I just squeeze his hand and snuggle closer to him.

‘It’s
stupid, but I just keep praying that one morning I’ll wake up and this will all
be one terrible nightmare,’ Blake snorts. ‘But that hasn’t happened yet
either.’

Something
in my heart breaks that little bit more. Whilst Jay has obviously come to
accept his fate, no one else seems to.

‘He
wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye,’ I say quietly, a small smile on my
lips. ‘He’s too much of a gentleman for that.’

Blake
laughs. ‘Jay hates goodbyes. Jay’s told you why he was on the bridge the night
you met? Well, do you know how he told me what he was going to do? He left a
note. A bloody suicide note. When he got back I almost strangled him for that
in itself. But when I took a better look at him, I could see determination
firing up inside him, like the old Jay, not the sullen one that was starting to
make its presence. I guess I should have figured out you were the girl he was
on about the first time we met, but it didn’t click until you told me
everything. You brought the old Jay back to me,’ he muses, stroking my hand.
‘So thank you for that.’

‘And in
return, he brought me to you,’ I muse. Suddenly, I straighten up, the oddest
thought taking form. ‘You know, it’s a bit of a coincidence, that when Jay got
sick, instead of cancelling the cinema trip, he sent you instead. Or that he
“forgot” to tell you that Charity was at the party, leading to me playing your
girlfriend. Or that Jay just happened to be ill when we were needing partners
in science, ending up in me falling in with Noah and her friends,’ I point out.
‘Jay’s been steering my life in one direction since we first met. I think Jay
had also planned for us two to happen from the beginning.’

Blake
mulls this over for a moment before his eyes widen, deciding that I may be
right after all.

‘Son of a
bitch,’ he murmurs, and a second later we burst into laughter.

Okay, so
maybe Jay didn’t plan
everything
, he
just has very good timing. But, he did push me to get into college. He did push
me to visit my parents house, which I wouldn’t have bothered even finding out
about if knowing him hadn’t opened me up to curiosity over my past. And Blake
and I certainly wouldn’t have gone out as much without him orchestrating it.
Jay even made sure I have two sets of friends, Noah and Dixie’s groups, to merge
into. He’s been setting me up for when he goes for a long time.

‘Ah man, I
got set up by my little brother,’ Blake groans, still chuckling.

‘Hey, I
take that as an insult.’

Blake
grins. ‘You don’t understand, I’m the one meant to be setting
him
up with chicks I’m not bothered
about anymore.’

I raise an
eyebrow.

‘Not that
I actually do that.’

‘Whatever,’
I laugh, pushing him lightly. I turn back to the games console and pick up a
spare controller. ‘Come on then, let’s kick some zombified arse.’

I take the
next day off school, spending it either in the hospital with Jay or at home
with Blake, but then force myself into school the day after. I still have exams
after all.

Unlike the
day after the text went around school however, I don’t care about what anyone
has to say about me, behind my back or to my face. Because nothing they say can
be as half as bad as what is happening to Jay.

For anyone
who does snigger or make comments, I show them the finger and carry on walking,
the walls that had previously cut me off from society now acting as a strong
amour. Most people throw me sympathy looks though, because by now everyone
knows what has happened to Jay.

I keep my
phone on me all day, continuingly checking for messages but receiving nothing.
At lunch, I find myself walking around the quad area most people have their
lunch in, and since today is warmer than most, I decide to sit there too,
crouching down on the steps and flicking through messages on my phone.

I’m going
through every message my phone has saved of the threats and taunts from my
tormentor, because surely, surely if I keep looking, something will click into
place. I’m not too sure what, but I know something must.

‘I’m sorry
about Jay.’

I look up and
see Noah standing just in front of the sun, so most of her body is covered in
shadow.

‘So am I,’
I say, smiling weakly.

‘When does
he get out of hospital?’ she asks, moving to sit down beside me on the steps.

‘He’s
being discharged today,’ I explain. ‘I don’t think he’ll be coming back to
school though, the cancer’s gotten too bad for that.’

‘Poor
boy,’ she whispers to herself. Then she looks down at my phone. ‘Who the hell
sent you
that
?’ Noah gapes, staring
at a particularly nasty message. I sigh and explain to her about my tormentor,
the texts they send and the black mailing photo.

‘And you
said
nothing
?’ she asks
incredulously.

‘To be
fair, I didn’t really have anyone to tell,’ I reply dryly. Noah thumps me with
her school bag.

‘You
should have come to me!’ she scolds. Then Noah stands up and holds out a hand.
‘Come on, we’re going to the police.’

‘No,’ I
reply calmly. Noah’s expression falls and she drops down next to me again.

‘Whoever
did this has to be punished, I know you feel the need to punish yourself but
you don’t-’

‘I don’t
want go to the police just yet,’ I interrupt, pulling out my little notebook.
‘The moment I go to the police, my tormentor will find out and ditch the phone
with all the evidence on. I’m going to have to work out who the person is
before I go to the police,’ I reason. Noah considers this for a moment before
whipping out her mobile.

‘You’re
sure it’s someone in the school, right? I have most people’s number, and I can
have the guys to check their phones too. Scroll down the contact list and see
if you get a match,’ Noah instructs, handing over her mobile.

Blinking,
I look down at the phone in front of me before looking back at her. Certain she
isn’t going to snatch it away again suddenly and call me a weirdo for even
trying to get to the bottom of this myself, I scroll through her contacts.

Yet I find
no match, and something in me deflates. A tiny part of me had really hoped it
would be this easy.

‘Nothing,’
I sigh, eventually giving Noah’s phone back to her. Noah stands up and I follow
her, lunch coming to an end.

‘Maybe
going to the police will just be easier,’ Noah shrugs. I’m about to argue, we’d
only just started, when Kai appears out of the crowd, tidying a piece of long
hair behind her ear. She looks different today, less like a supermodel and more
like a normal girl, her usual hauls of make-up lacking and her clothing more
relaxed. Maybe she’s having an ugly day, not that she can be ugly if she tried.

‘Hey,
Neve,’ she says as she approaches, ignoring Noah’s glare. ‘I just wanted to say
I’m sorry to hear about Jay. And… I’m sorry for what I said to you at the
party. You were right, no one could have seen what happened coming.’ Then,
without another word, Kai disappears, leaving me in a state of shock.

‘Did Kai
just
apologise
?’ I ask incredulously.
Noah makes a face.

‘Yeah, and
she earned an Oscar award for it too. You don’t really think she meant that did
you?’ Noah asks dubiously, her eyebrow rising.

I tilt my
head and watch the girl wander over to her group of friends. She pulls out her
mobile and starts texting absently.

I shrug.

‘Alex must
have seen something he liked in her; maybe she has a good side after all. He
was her friend too,’ I argue. Noah just shrugs, clearly unconvinced.

‘I’m just
saying; it’s like she has two sides to her. One minute she’s all innocent and
the next she’s talking about you behind your back on that swanky piece of tech
in her hand,’ Noah replies dryly.

I snort.
‘You just don’t like that she has the new iPhone and you can’t afford it,’ I
tease. Noah has been going on for a while now about wanting one and how Kai
can’t possibly understand all of the features and the true value of it. Mike
takes every pleasure in reminding her of this daily.

Noah makes
a face. ‘I don’t see why she makes a scene of flashing her new one around yet
still insists on carrying around that old one of hers. It’s older than mine,
it’s like she’s mocking me,’ she points out, looking at her mobile in distaste.

I stop
dead. ‘What do you mean?’

Noah
shrugs.

‘Kai used
to have, well, still has I think, this black one she gets out every now and
then, I haven’t seen it around in a while though. Who knows, maybe she uses it
to cheat on her boyfriend or something…’ Noah slowly trails off before looking
at me. ‘I’m an idiot, aren’t I?’

Two steps
ahead of her, I dig around in my pockets, retrieving a small piece of card.

‘Noah,
will you do a favour for me, please?’ I ask her, my gaze wandering back over to
Kai across the quad.

‘Anything,’
Noah replies, following my gaze.

I hand
over the piece of card in my hand, DI Nickleson’s card.

‘I have a
job for you.’

Kai
Gelding stays after school on Tuesday for extra Chemistry lessons, because
despite her supermodel looks and general bitchiness, she does actually care
about her grades.

I know she
has to go through the main hall to get to the other side of the school in order
to go home. I know because it’s a place I’ve been avoiding for months.

This is
where I hide now, tucked in the shadows until I hear footsteps. I see her
figure enter the large hall and press down on the
call
button, redialling my tormentor from one of the numerous
texts.

As I
expect, a phone starts ringing throughout the hall and Kai practically jumps up
in the air with surprise. She must have never thought to keep it on silent
because I’ve never replied to any of her taunts.

Frantically,
she goes to hang up, but I’ve got the evidence I need. She’s holding it.

‘You know,
I almost believed the sorry little girl act earlier,’ I say, emerging from the
shadows, my voice dripping with venom.

Kai whips
around, her hands curling into balls of tiny fists when her eyes land on me.
Then she uncurls and relaxes, a sly grin appearing on her lips. Kai folds her
arms and looks at me as if I’m nothing more than dirt on the bottom of her
shoe.

‘I always
knew you hated me,’ I add, making my way across the hall to meet her. ‘I never
realised you were that much of a Bitch though.’

Kai laughs
at that.

‘So little
Neve finally put together the pieces of her own story,’ she muses, dark sparks
visible in her usually pretty eyes. ‘Did you like my little rendition of our
fairytale? I thought it was all quite beautiful really, the way everything kept
slotting together as it did,’ she says, almost dreamily. Cold shivers run up my
arms.

I had
expected a quick act of denial, yelling and screaming and a few thrown chairs,
not more taunting.

My
eyebrows arch.

‘You have
a delusional outlook on fairytales,’ I reply in a steady voice. ‘I distinctly
remember that they all have happy endings.’

Kai laughs
again, sharper this time.

‘Fairytales,
true fairytales, aren’t as perfect as we like to think. Fairytales themselves
are the delusions,’ she smirks, tossing a bit of dark hair over her shoulder.
‘So what are you going to do now, Neve? Turn me in? If you do, I think I’ll be
impressed. Of course it won’t make any difference in Alex’s case,’ she adds
darkly.

I try to
pretend as though her last comment doesn’t affect me.

‘Why?’ I
ask at last. ‘What in God’s name made you pick up that phone and start all of
this? It’s taken me a long time to see it, but I didn’t deserve-’

‘You
deserved every little bit of it, you little whore!’ Kai screams, her demeanour
finally cracking. ‘Alex was mine, and you stole him! And then you took him away
from me for good!’

Shock and
anger rise in me then, and I feel my own fists clench.

‘What do
you mean, “
yours
”?’ I snap back.

‘We were
seeing each other, you idiot. Alex didn’t want to hurt precious little Neve so
he went behind your back instead. Except you kept finding excuses to pull him
away from me and he went willingly,’ Kai spits, her face reddening.

As for me,
my heart had stopped at her first sentence. Alex was seeing
Kai
?

Seeing my
expression, Kai laughs again.

‘Remember
that crushing feeling Neve, you’ll have to live with it for a long time,’ she
smirks. Seeing she’s won, Kai gives me one last glare before turning on her
heels and stalking away.

I’m not
done yet though.

‘I have
one last question,’ I announce, my voice shakier than before. Glowering, I
stand to face Kai as she turns around again, at least having the decency to
look intrigued.

‘And
what’s that?’ she asks, a condescending smirk plastered on her face.

I realise
with a start that Kai thinks she has nothing to fear. After all, who have I
been but her defenceless victim these past few months? Who didn’t have the
courage to confront her once before today, even though I had her number in my
hand?

Kai’s
always known that my biggest weakness will be my biggest downfall, that the
guilt over Alex will always keep me from saying anything, because accepting her
punishments are my own personal form of justice. I had admitted that to her at
the party, so it’s no surprise she thinks I’m still under her thumb, still poor
little Neve.

Poor
little Neve doesn’t exist, not anymore.

Because
there’s something that’s been troubling me these past few days, although I
haven’t really had time to focus on until it recently, something I didn’t even
realise was out of place until I was sat in the police station facing DI
Nickleson and DI Williams.

I’m afraid we can’t disclose details on
cases
.

‘How
exactly did you know that Alex had taken a blow to the back of the head?’ I ask
fiercely, taking a step forward. ‘The police didn’t disclose details to the
public, only to me and his family. And I’m damn sure his family didn’t talk
about his death,’ I state.

Kai folds
her arms, her tiny frame shaking in anger, although she tries to keep her cool.

‘Everyone
knows how Alex died, it was all over the papers,’ she snarls, her voice taking
on a dangerous edge.

‘Everyone
knows Alex was beaten up, that’s what was in the papers,’ I point out, my voice
getting louder and clearer, even though the whole of my being is starting to
shake. ‘That could mean anything; that he was smashed against a wall, that he
was beaten so much that he died of blood loss. He could have even been in so
much pain, had his ribs cracked and bones broken, that it was simply too much.
But no, at the party you said specifically that he took a blow to the head. You
didn’t even hesitate,’ I snap, my mind drawing to conclusions I’m too terrified
to really contemplate. ‘So I guess the real question, Kai, is
why
did you know how he died?’
 

‘Nothing
would have happened if it wasn’t for you!’ Kai suddenly roars after a moment of
silence. She makes her way towards me, white-hot anger sizzling across her pale
skin. Instinctively, I back up, panic creeping up my spine. ‘You just had to
play the hero, didn’t you? You just had to come to Alex’s rescue and screw it
all up,’ she sneers.

‘What the
hell did you do?’ I whisper, my eyes widening.

‘I took
back what was mine!’ she screams. ‘Alex didn’t even tell me about what was
going on with Mr Fenwick, but of course he didn’t hesitate to tell you. Do you
know why he was in school that night? He was helping
me
. Me. We were just about to walk home afterwards when he heard
you screaming. Then Alex just left me standing in the corridors to come to your
aid. I saw him punch Mr Fenwick and then drag you out. I hid in the shadows and
you two just walked past. Alex had
forgotten
about me!