Hell's Revenge (7 page)

“He tipped the boat. Tipped it!” Charon almost roared. “It’s bloody flat bottomed.

Hell, even the Styx monsters haven’t managed to dump it, and my boy somehow manages to do it all on his own.”

“Well, I hope the passengers were wearing life jackets,” I said brightly. I tried not to snicker, really I did, but I failed and laughed so hard I snorted.

“I’m glad you think that’s so funny, considering one of the dunkees wasn’t recovered.”

I shrugged as I wiped down the bar. “My dad will find the lost soul eventually. It’s not like they can drown.”

“It wasn’t a soul, but your friend, Azazel.”

I froze and leaned my hands on the bar as I faced Charon. “Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. What the fuck was Azazel doing on the boat?”

“Your father was having him moved closer to the castle in preparation for a formal execution.”

“Why didn’t I know about it?” Dad should have known by now I didn’t like secrets.

“It was supposed to be the crowning surprise at your birthday celebration.” The news of my upcoming party should have sent me into a tizzy, instead more serious thoughts took precedence. “Why the fuck was your idiot son in charge of the boat? Shouldn’t that have been your job?” I yelled and felt bad when Charon actually flinched back from me. A first …
look at me starting to get a reputation for being bad
ass
.

“That’s what we’re all trying to figure out. My son doesn’t remember a damned thing about the whole incident and neither do any of the other passengers.” I slapped my forehead. “Ah, fuck. Auric’s on his way to dad’s to get the spell taken off Azazel so he can kill him. He’s not going to be happy when he finds out Azazel is on the loose.” I dove on my phone and dialed my special number to Hades. 666-666-666-666… My dad’s humor knew no bounds.

The phone rang, and rang and rang some more before getting picked up.

“Hell’s palace, how may we damn you?” Pokie, my dad’s steward answered sounding flustered. Judging by the yelling and cursing in the background, recognizable as my dad and consort, I could see why he might find himself a little frazzled.

“I take it they heard?”

“You think?” Pokie sighed. “Sorry, for sounding snarky. They’ve been at this for a while now and I’ve run out of weed and ear plugs.”

“Put me on speakerphone.” I drummed my fingers on the bar as I waited for Pokie to turn on the intercom. As soon as it clicked, I did my thing. “Hey, dumb asses. Stop fucking yelling at each other like bloody idiots and figure out where Azazel’s evil ass is.

I’m pregnant, remember, and not in the mood for this shit. Oh, and Auric, when you pop your ass back to this bar to protect me, you’d better bring some of cook’s famous jalapeño pie. Baby’s hungry.”

I didn’t wait for a response. I hung up. The princess had spoken.

My glare stifled the laughter in the bar. I’d given up recently trying to keep my parentage a secret. Not that it accorded me more respect from regulars, but at least now, the damned assassins knew where to come looking. Kicking their asses helped keep me in shape and kept my boys on their toes.

I threw myself into my work, trying not to let thoughts of Azazel on the loose bother me. Him I could handle with one hand tied behind my back. My growling stomach on the other hand was driving me insane.

Auric showed up about an hour later, the picture of calm. He handed me a heavy basket filled to the brim with goodies. As I munched with a great appetite, he related to David and me things we already knew like Azazel’s escape and things we didn’t, like the major demon hunt going on for his capture.

“Your dad’s also sending us one of his hunters, just back from the wild, for added protection.”

“More bodyguards?” I restrained a sigh. I didn’t have just myself to think of anymore.
Look at me thinking of the baby first. Hey, maybe this mommy thing won’t be so
bad after all.
As I peered into the empty basket though, I did find myself worrying about my waist line.
At the rate I’m eating, I’ll need my own zip code soon.

Business in my bar, Nexus, resumed albeit with Auric present. Most nights he just popped in and out as he went about his mysterious errands. I joked he was on a quest to save the world but in truth, I never quite knew what he was up to. I trusted him. For me that was all I needed to know.

The evening passed in familiar comfort with patrons coming and going. They drank and filled my pockets with their ill earned money, the best kind.

About an hour before closing, the main door opened and a cool breeze wafted over me waking my magic’s hunger.
What the fuck?
I turned to see what made my magical leech stretch and saw a familiar handsome dude.

Fang boy had found me and elation battled with panic. If I’d been behind the bar I would have simply slipped into the back and avoided him. But out in the open, setting up the karaoke machine for the next night, I was stuck. A hide and seek player without a spot to hide, in other words, a loser about to get caught. Karma was such a bitch, aunt or not.

With a smile that made my tummy tingle in ways that made me feel guilty, the vamp headed towards me, a dark presence that caught the attention of all the women in the bar and the male demon dressed as one—I tended to attract a wide gamut of patrons. But that’s not the only attention he drew. Before I knew it, my men flanked me; my fallen angel on one side and my bristling kitty on the other. It would have been hot if not for the upcoming and totally predictable testosterone match. I personally cringed, but my libido screamed
Take off your clothes boys before you start fighting!
What could I say, even in the midst of a crisis, my slutty side thought ahead.

Fangalicious smiled at me and I really wished for a hole to open up beneath me and swallow me whole before my dirty, and yet titillating secret, came out. I squirmed as my cheeks blushed in guilt. Silly me, I should have probably admitted the accidental kiss to my boys, but then I would have to admit I enjoyed it—a lot. And that would have opened a ginormous can of worms. Or so I thought. I mean, I was happy with my boys. The sex was freaking amazing and since my talk with Nefertiti and David’s poke play with my behind, I was even contemplating letting them visit my forbidden cave. Don’t laugh. That was a big thing for me given the persisting feelings I had about inserting objects into exit holes.

The babble in my mind provided a great distraction, but it didn’t stop the inevitable.

“We meet again, oh mysterious one,” the vampire said with a low bow while his eyes raked me from head to toe—did I mention it felt like he stripped me of clothes while he did it? And like he caressed me.

“Who the fuck are you?” Auric growled. My consort, usually the diplomatic one. For a man who shared me with his best friend, he was showing a lot of uncharacteristic jealousy lately.

“Ah, you must be the two men she spoke of after telling me I couldn’t kiss her again.” The dude obviously had a death wish, although my libido screamed,
oh yeah,
baby.

“Did the vampire kiss you?” Auric asked through gritted teeth.

“Um, kind of,” I admitted in a tiny voice. Apparently, Auric just wanted confirmation before acting. I slapped my hand to my forehead as Auric dove onto the vamp and David burst out of his clothes letting his panther take over. The three male bodies crashed together in a violent huddle that really would have provided more visual fun had they worn less clothes.

Perfume preceded Bambi’s arrival at my side. “Goodness. You really are racing to catch up to me, aren’t you? Am I going to have to fight to keep my title of Greatest Slut Ever?”

I thought of her many trophies consisting of numerous naked bodies contorted in positions that all had one thing in common—cocks in her holes. “No thanks. It would seem my men have reverted back to cavemen and think they need to thump their chests and beat others to prove themselves top alpha.”

“Aren’t you going to stop them?”

I glared at the tussling boys. “Why? Maybe if they smack each other enough they’ll knock some sense into each other.” Annoyed, and still feeling guilty, I walked away from the problem, dragging my sister after me.

I slammed the door to my private office shut and flopped onto my couch.

“Spill it, lamb,” Bambi asked sitting on the desk.

I made to avert my eyes because usually Bambi sitting at eye level was uncomfortable due to her lack of undergarments. But I did a double take as I took in what she wore.

“Pants? Are you actually wearing pants, and not just any pants, but slacks?” My jaw dropped and I felt a sudden urge to call Hell and see if it had frozen over again. The only pants I’d ever seen my sister wear were the indecent kind. These loose slacks with the plain blue blouse and low heeled shoes were wrong somehow. “What the fuck is up with the June Cleaver wardrobe?”

My sister, succubus and award winning slut, blushed. “I met someone. Well, actually three someones.”

“That’s awesome,” I congratulated her, jumping up to hug her. “But what’s that got to do with the clothes?”

“It drives them wild to see me dressed demurely.” Bambi grinned with a familiar salacious twinkle and I laughed.

“Oh, that is so evil. I love it. So when do I get to meet the trio of studs who’ve made you smile?” It warmed my heart to know my sister had found herself some men who made her happy.

“Soon. They know I’m a succubus, of course. And they’re obviously not human, but I kind of wanted to take things slow before I introduced them to the family.”

“Totally understandable.” When your father was The Devil, introducing boyfriends could end up interesting if they survived the experience.

“Enough about me. Care to explain what’s up with the boys out front?”

“Gee, and here I thought you’d be more interested in the fact you’re about to become an aunt.”

Bambi squealed and almost took us both to the floor when she threw herself on me for an enthusiastic hug. “My little lamb is going to be a mommy.” Bambi sniffed back tears.

“Yeah, well, first I’ve got to survive the pregnancy.” Concern dried her tears. “Are you okay? Is there any reason to worry?” I told her about my mother’s visit and my talk with Nefertiti, and I even admitted to the kiss I’d shared with fang boy. Bambi’s eyes grew wider and wider.

“Fuck me, lamb. You just never do things by halves do you?” I smiled and shrugged.

“Well, I think you made the right decision to keep the babe. It’s what happened when your mother got pregnant with you, after all.”

“What!”

Bambi slapped a hand over her mouth. “You didn’t hear me say that.”

“Did too. Spill it.”

“Well, see, it’s the oddest thing. I hadn’t even remembered you had a mother until you, like, talked about her. Now though, it’s as if I have all these memories, not many mind you, but the one that sticks out is one from when I was a child. I was playing in the lab, hiding from the other girls who didn’t play nice with me ‘cause I was prettier. Your mother came in already talking with Nefertiti. I didn’t get the whole conversation, but I do recall Nef telling your mom the baby she carried was dangerous. And your mother just shrugged and said, ‘so what. She’s mine and I’m keeping her.’” It annoyed me that this knowledge made my plan to kill my mother shift. So she’d cared about me at one point, it still didn’t excuse her behavior. Curiosity made me wonder if perhaps I should find out more about what happened so many years ago. If I didn’t like the answer, I could still kill the bitch.

“Well, she didn’t keep that promise did she?” I replied bitterly. “In the end she might not have killed me, but she did dump me like unwanted garbage.” Damned hormones.

My eyes glistened and I dug my nails in my hands, using the pain to veer my thoughts.

“Oh, little lamb. If she hadn’t, I would have never known you and loved you.” I smiled tremulously at my sister. People could say what they wanted about her, slut or not, she had a heart of gold and I loved her dearly. “And sappy shit like that is why this baby’s middle name is going to be Bambi.”

We hugged tightly, both crying like the biggest saps. Then we had a makeup repair session.

Faces back on straight, I had one more question before we went back to face the bruises and black eyes I was sure my men sported. “Bambi, does having, um, sex, you know in the, um—”

“Anal sex feels great if done right,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Geez, lamb, you can be such a prude sometimes. Don’t tell me you’ve never done it? You have two lovers.

You mean to tell me you’ve denied yourself and them that pleasure?” My blush said it all.

“I’m not saying just let them drive their cocks in, but with the proper preparation, it is absolutely wonderful. Trust me, I know from experience.” I stored the information and decision for later. We returned to the main area and …

calm.

My bar remained intact and my two men were sitting at the bar nonchalantly tossing back shots.

“Did you guys kill the vamp?” Regret clutched me at the thought of his demise.

Auric fixed me with bright green eyes. “No. We thrashed him and promised to kill him if he ever so much as looked at you again.”

“I threatened to eat him actually,” David added with a shrug. His bare chest drew my eyes and a quick peek showed him wearing the emergency pair of jeans I kept behind the bar. Having a shifter boyfriend who acted as bouncer meant keeping stashes of clothing everywhere.

I shook my head at them both. “You can’t entirely blame him for what happened. My magic was at fault, too.” I didn’t mention the fact the vamp had obviously gone easy on them, I didn’t want to antagonize my lovers after all. But seriously, a creature who could take out twelve demons without breaking a sweat would have done a lot more damage if so inclined. I wonder if he’d held back knowing I’d be pissed if he hurt my men.

“Your magic isn’t the only thing at fault. You should have told us,” Auric added standing to face me. I recognized the look in his eyes. The one that said I was in big trouble.

Yay for me.

In the space of a heartbeat, I found myself scooped up and exiting the bar. I waved goodbye with shouted instructions on the closing of the bar.