Authors: Beverly Cleary
“Ride 'em, cowboy!” shouted Scooter, as Henry coasted on the twisting bicycle and pumped the spinning pedals furiously in his effort to make them work again.
The bicycle was wobbling out of control. Henry frantically tried to apply the coaster brake. Instead of stopping, the pedals began to spin backward. Henry tried to stop by dragging his foot, but the leg of his jeans caught in the chain. The bicycle spilled him onto the sidewalk and toppled over on top of him.
The others laughed even harder.
Henry worked his jeans out of the chain, untangled himself from the bike, and stood up, scowling and rubbing himself. “All right, cut it out. You're not funny!” he said to Robert and Scooter, who were pounding each other on the back and whooping with laughter.
“That coaster brake⦔ Scooter was laughing so hard he couldn't go on.
“And those wheels!” howled Robert.
Scooter doubled up with laughter. “It's the spokes,” he whooped. “Who tightened them for you? Whoever it was sure bent the wheels doing it.”
“I did it myself,” said Henry with dignity, wondering if he hadn't broken a few bones. As he started to wheel the bicycle up the driveway, he was glad to see that Beezus was no longer laughing at him.
“Are you still going to ride it in the parade?” asked Scooter.
“No,” said Henry coldly. He wheeled his bike into the garage, came out, and closed the doors. “I hope you're satisfied, Scooter McCarthy,” he said crossly.
Scooter stopped laughing. “Say, Huggins, if I help you straighten out that back wheel, how about riding in the parade like I said?”
“No thanks,” said Henry, patting Ribsy's head. Good old Ribsy. At least he had one friend left.
“Aw, come on,” coaxed Scooter.
“Nope,” said Henry flatly.
“OK, if that's the way you feel,” said Scooter, shrugging his shoulders. “Come on, Robert. Help me roll my
Journal
s.”
As the two boys left, Henry threw himself down on the back steps.
Beezus sat beside him. “I've got an idea,” she said. “Why don't you wear a clown suit and ride the bike in the parade, and everybody will think you meant to be funny.”
Henry plucked a blade of grass. “No, I guess not. I'll think of something.” He blew on the grass, which made a sputtering noise. Well, anyway, Beezus wasn't laughing at him, and he probably would think of something. Maybe his mother would help him with a costume. It wouldn't be the same as riding a bike, though.
Beezus, seeing that Henry wanted to be alone, decided it was time to go home. Henry was silent as he watched Ramona mount her shiny tricycle and ride off, her spokes twinkling in the sunshine.
He continued to sit and make sputtering noises on the blade of grass.
Mrs. Huggins came out and sat on the steps beside Henry. “I was watching through the window,” she said.
Henry didn't say anything. Probably everyone on Klickitat Street was watching.
“I'm sorry we can't get you a new bicycle, Henry,” said his mother, “but I think we could manage twenty dollars for a secondhand bicycle. If we watched the classified ads in the paper, we might find a good one that someone wanted to sell.”
Henry sighed. “Gee, thanks a lot, Mom, but I guess not. If I can't have a brand-new bike without a single thing wrong with it, I guess I can get along without one.”
Mrs. Huggins smiled. “I understand. When I was your age I wanted some brand-new ice skates attached to white shoes. But I had to use my brother's old hockey skates, so I know just how you feel.” She patted Henry lightly on the shoulder and went back into the house.
Somehow, Henry found he felt more cheerful. He blew on the blade of grass and produced an earsplitting whistle. He sat on the steps blowing and whistling and thinking about the shiny red bicycle in the Rose City Bike and Trike Shop.
T
he next Friday afternoon Henry and Ribsy were walking home from school. They were going the long way past the Rose City Bike and Trike Shop so Henry could look at what he had come to think of as his bicycleâthe one with the racy red frame and the built-in headlight. The only thing wrong with it was the priceâfifty-nine dollars and ninety-five cents. It was exactly what Henry wanted, and he looked at it every time he had a chance.
After making sure his bike was still in the shop, Henry moved on. He was still trying to think of something he could do in the Rose Festival parade. Across the street from the supermarket he stopped to look at the new Colossal Market building that had just been finished. It covered a whole city block, and Henry had heard that the market would sell not only meats, groceries, and drugs, but would also have a filling station, a soda fountain, a florist's stand, a beauty shop, a hardware store, and almost anything else you could think of.
Today there was a huge sign across the front of the building. Henry stopped to read it. The sign said:
TONITE
GRAND OPENING
MODERN ONE-STOP SHOPPING
DELUXE NEW COLOSSAL MARKET
NOW READY TO SERVE YOU
25 FREE DOOR PRIZES 25
FREE SAMPLES
FREE GARDENIAS FOR LADIES
FREE BALLOONS FOR KIDDIES
ENTERTAINMENT!
Jeepers, thought Henry. That's a lot of free stuff. He decided to ask his mother and father to go. It was fun to collect free samples, and his mother might like a gardenia.
Henry was still trying to think of a good idea for the parade, when he and his mother and father joined the crowd of people visiting the new market that evening. Beezus was with them, because her mother had to stay at home to put Ramona to bed. Henry had given Ribsy a big bone for dinner so he would stay in his yard. If dogs had to stay out of the supermarket, they would certainly have to stay out of the Colossal Market.
In front of the Colossal Market six searchlights sent giant fingers of light into the sky. Henry saw Robert and Scooter talking to the men who ran the gasoline generators. As Henry and his father and mother and Beezus entered the market, someone handed each of them a ticket for the door prize. After they had written their names on the tickets and dropped them into a barrel, a girl in a fluffy blue skirt gave Mr. Huggins a package of razor blades. Another girl in a fluffy red skirt gave Mrs. Huggins a gardenia, while a clown offered Henry and Beezus balloons.
Beezus asked if she couldn't count as a lady and have a gardenia instead of a balloon. When the girl handed her the flower, she took it, closed her eyes, and breathed deeply.
“Smell it, Henry,” she said. “Did you ever smell anything so beautiful in your whole life?”
Henry gave it a quick sniff. “It's all right,” he said, tying the string of his balloon to the button on his beanie. When he put the beanie back on his head, he hung onto it with one hand until he was sure the balloon wouldn't carry it away.
After agreeing to meet his mother and father by the front door at eight-thirty, Henry said, “Come on, Beezus, let's find some free samples.”
Sniffing her gardenia, Beezus followed Henry, who had to stop before long and untangle his balloon string from the buttons of a lady's coat. Then they sampled doughnuts, hot from a doughnut machine, and looked over the largest selection of comic books they had ever seen. They tasted frozen orange juice and decided to pass up a free sample of dehydrated Vitaveg soup in order to watch a man demonstrate a gadget for making roses out of beets and turnips. Then they paused at the Colossal Beauty Shoppe to watch a lady have a free facial. Henry thought she looked funny with her hair wrapped in a towel and greasy stuff smeared on her face. As he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror, he decided he might wear a balloon on his beanie in the parade.
“Look!” Beezus grabbed Henry's arm and pointed to the platform where three girls from a dancing school had been tap dancing. “The drawing for the door prizes is starting. There's the Rose Festival queen and her princesses.”
As the crowd pressed toward the platform, the master of ceremonies announced that the owner of the first ticket the queen pulled from the barrel would receive, absolutely free of charge, one white sidewall tire from the Colossal Filling Station.
“Maybe you'll win it,” said Beezus.
Henry wasn't sure his father needed one white sidewall tire, since all his other tires were black, so he wasn't disappointed when his name was not called. He soon lost interest in door prizes, because there were so many grown-ups in front of him that he couldn't see what was happening.
“Come on, Beezus,” he said. “I bet this is a good time to get free samples.”
They found Robert and Scooter in front of the doughnut machine. “This is my third free sample,” said Scooter. “Come on, let's see what else we can find.”
They tasted catsup, potato chips, jam, and cheese. Soon the pockets of Henry's jeans bulged with sample boxes and bottles of Oatsies, Glit, and 3-Minit Whisk-it. Then they came to a display of Woofies Dog Food. The man standing behind the table handed the children pamphlets that explained how Woofies made dogs woof with joy, because it was made of lean red meat fortified with vitamins.
“Aren't you giving away samples?” asked Henry, thinking of Ribsy.
“No, I'm not,” answered the man, and then added jokingly, “but I'll give you a can if you'll taste it.”
“No thanks,” said Henry.
“Go on, taste it,” said Robert.
“I bet you're scared to,” scoffed Scooter.
“I'm not either,” said Henry. “I just don't feel hungry.”
“Ha.” Scooter was scornful. “I dare you to eat it.”
“Dares go first,” said Henry.
“Only scaredy cats say that,” answered Scooter.
Other boys and girls who were also collecting free samples gathered to listen to the argument.
“Go on, eat it,” someone said. “I bet it isn't so bad.”
“Hey, gang!” a boy yelled. “He's going to eat dog food!”
“I am not,” said Henry, but no one paid any attention. The Woofies man borrowed a can opener from another booth. Jeepers, thought Henry, how did I get into this mess?
The man clamped the opener onto the can. Henry looked around for a way out, but so many boys and girls were crowded around that he didn't see how he could escape. He wondered how Woofies tasted. Maybe it wasn't so bad. Ribsy ate it. If Henry really did eat it, he would be pointed out at school as the boy who ate dog food. Then he would be pretty important.
“Henry,” whispered Beezus, “don't eat it.”
Henry watched the can opener chew its way around the can. Ugh, he thought. He didn't want to be the boy who ate dog food, no matter how much it impressed the kids. The man lifted the lid from the can, and Henry looked at the food made from lean red meat fortified with vitamins. At least it isn't raw, he thought, and wished something would happen.
Something did happen.
The voice of the master of ceremonies blared out over the loudspeaker. “Henry Huggins!” The people around the platform laughed.
“Hey, that's me!” exclaimed Henry, bewildered. Why were all the people laughing?
“Will Mr. Huggins come to the platform to claim his prize?” asked the master of ceremonies.
Oh, thought Henry. The man meant his father. His father was Mr. Huggins, but it must be a mistake, because his father's first name wasn't Henry.
“Is Henry Huggins present?” asked the master of ceremonies.
“Henry, wake up,” said Beezus. “You won a prize.”
Henry looked at the can of dog food. “Here!” he yelled as loud as he could, and the crowd made way for him. Whew, that was close, he thought. He was so glad to get away from the Woofies, he didn't care what his prize was. Probably a basket of groceries.
As Henry climbed the steps to the platform, the audience howled with laughter. Henry looked around to see what was so funny, but he couldn't see anything to laugh at. Then he remembered the balloon tied to his beanie. Maybe that was it.
“So you are Henry Huggins!” boomed the master of ceremonies.
“Yes, sir,” answered Henry, starting at the sound of his own voice over the loudspeaker. Why didn't people stop laughing? A balloon on a beanie wasn't that funny.
The master of ceremonies had an envelope in his hand. Henry, who was puzzled, looked inquiringly at him. What kind of a prize was it anyway? He had been so busy at the dog-food booth that he hadn't been listening.
“Henry Huggins, it gives me great pleasure to present you with fifty dollars' worth of work at the Colossal Market's own Beauty Shoppe!”
Henry's mouth dropped open and he felt his ears turn red. The crowd was a blur of pink faces in front of him, and laughter roared in his ears.
The master of ceremonies opened the envelope and took out some coupons. “Here are all the things this young man is entitled to. Two permanent waves, six special glamour haircuts, six Vita-fluff shampoos, six waves, three facials, six manicures, and last but not least, one set of false eyelashes!”
Henry looked at the floor while the audience shrieked. Jeepers, he thought. Now he really was in trouble. The kids would never let him hear the last of this. Why couldn't he win a basket of groceries or a white sidewall tire like other people? He wished he had stayed and eaten the dog food.
“Well, young man,” said the master of ceremonies, “don't you have anything to say?”
“Uh, thanksâ¦I guess,” said Henry, horrified at the way his voice roared over the loudspeaker.
The master of ceremonies pressed the envelope into Henry's hand, slapped him on the back, and boomed, “Good luck with your prize, young man!”
As Henry stumbled off the stage, Scooter got to him first. “When are you going to get your glamour haircut?” he demanded. “When are you getting false eyelashes?”
“I bet⦔ Robert stopped to howl with laughter. “I bet you're going to be the prettiest boy at Glenwood School.”
“Yoo-hoo, Henry!” yelled a couple of strange boys.
Scooter leaned against a shelf of canned goods and guffawed. “How are you going to wear your hair, Beautiful?”
Henry was sure his ears would burst into flames if they got any hotter. “You're not funny,” he snapped.
“I know it,” snorted Scooter. “I'm not half as funny as you're going to look with a glamour haircut and false eyelashes.”
“I get it. Joke,” said Henry coldly.
“Hi, Beautiful,” called a strange boy. “How's the Vita-fluff shampoo?”
“You're not so funny,” said Henry.
“I bet you'll look real cute with a permanent wave,” said another boy.
Henry glared and tried to move away, but there were too many people crowded around him. Jeepers, how was he ever going to get out of this?
“Say, it's the same boy who was going to eat Woofies,” Henry heard someone say.
That gave Henry an idea. “Come on,” he said. “Where's the Woofies man?”
“Are you really going to taste it?” Robert asked, as Henry passed him.
“Sure, I'm going to taste it,” said Henry bravely. Anything to make people forget that prize, he thought, as the boys and girls crowded after him.
“I didn't expect to see you again,” said the Woofies man, holding out the can and a wooden spoon.
Henry dug the spoon into the dog food. Holding his breath, he popped a bite into his mouth and swallowed quickly. Why, it wasn't so bad. He hardly tasted it. He was pleased to see that all the boys and girls looked impressed.
“He really ate it,” said Beezus, squirming through the crowd surrounding Henry. She still clutched her gardenia, which had turned brown from being sniffed so much.
Henry calmly took another bite, held his breath, and got it down. “M-m-m,” he said. “It's lots better than K-9 Ration.” And it was, too, because Ribsy preferred it.