Her Anchor (89 page)

I sighed as my turn came to order. I tried to cheer myself up, I had been feeling moody lately over everything. At least I have an internship, even if it isn’t perfect. At least I have my health. At least it wasn’t raining today. At least I wasn’t homeless. I knew when I got down to being grateful to be breathing I was getting desperate.

I returned to the office loaded with coffee and began distributing it to my fellow interns, trying to be cheerful and ignore the comments that I made the perfect waitress given my background.

Dropping a soy mocha latte (trust him to have a stupid drink) on Fletcher’s desk I gave him a stony look, waiting for the caustic comment. Fletcher had marched up to me on day one of our internship with Senator Kramer and asked me why to explain why a) I had been hired over him by James and b) I had turned it down.

I had been taken aback at first, then grateful James had put out the story I was offered the role and turned it down, not that I wasn’t chosen. That little kindness made me question my increasing hardness in how I was judging him with the passage of time. Maybe he wasn’t the all bad intern advantage taking power hungry man I had built him up in my mind to be. I had stumbled over my response to Fletcher, making something up about wanting to be in a large office like Senator Kramer’s. All of this history between Fletcher and I, so very recent yet already so very toxic.

Fletcher looked up at me with a smirk, “Thanks, office waitress. Say, did you hear the latest about James Chilton?”

My heart skipped a beat, Fletcher appeared to have picked up on my interest in James and he sure exploited it.

“No,” I said, my voice catching, “I haven’t. Why don’t you enlighten me Fletcher.”

Fletcher leaned back in his chair and grinned, “James is dating May Dallenger, you know, the Instagram model?”

My heart sunk. May was the
it
girl of the moment. Casual, cool, fashionable and a stick figure. Involuntarily I picture James and I naked and my normal girl body transforming into May and him looking happier for it. I may have been the one who walked away, but it was for both our best interests. That didn’t mean it didn’t burn.

“Thanks, Fletcher, you are always very helpful,” I replied sarcastically, spinning on my heel and walking away from the smirking pain in the ass.

A couple more weeks passed like this and I was so busy I began to lose that health I had counted as one of my few blessings. I was hungry and gained a little weight, but then the donuts were tempting when getting coffee. I felt sick before work but who wouldn’t, going to a job with a boss who would sell her vote to anyone, not to mention my awful fellow interns and their teasing. My boobs felt sensitive and sore, which I chalked up to being aroused, I hadn’t been with anyone since James and maybe my body was telling me it was time. Come to think of it, I hadn’t been with anyone for a long time before James. Maybe the changes in my body were my body saying hey, stop making us a desert here.

It was when I missed my period for the second time I knew something was up. Something being a potential life inside me. I gasped when I realized the date and how late I was…and what that could mean. I had run from James’s office in order to save our careers, now it looked like I wouldn’t have choice on whether there would be a scandal or not. A pregnant intern, that’s just what a freshman Senator wants! Pregnant to a politician, unwed and a recent college grad - perfect for my career!

Sitting at home before work I put my head in my hands. A surprise pregnancy is hard, a surprise pregnancy on your own even worse. A surprise pregnancy you need to hide from an entire industry, even worse. I ran through my options in my head. Abortion? Not for me, no way. Tell James?

This wasn’t just the last thing I needed, it was the last thing James needed. I had been following his career, aside from the love life updates from Fletcher, he was forging ahead with a great new policy around social security that would make life fairer for the kind of people I had grown up with. It was unpopular with conservatives and the media and his political enemies were trying to pin anything on him. His sex life he had been able to laugh off as the rakish young single man, but a pregnant intern was another matter altogether. I couldn’t let my mistake ruin the career of a man I knew could do good things. No, there was only one answer.

I headed into work and went straight to Senator Kramer’s office and handed in my resignation and told her politics was not for me and I was leaving the Hill. She accepted, then asked to be reminded of my name. I certainly wouldn’t be missed. I dodged Fletcher on the way out and made a beeline for home, preparing to hole up and hide myself until the baby was born and I had made some kind of plan for my future. Thankfully I had a small amount of savings from working hard but it would be tough. I refused to entertain the idea of asking James for support, I was sure if he knew about the baby he wouldn’t agree to keep it a secret of his career’s sake, he’d blow his career for it. I wouldn’t let that happen. He would never know, and one day his child would understand it was for the right reasons.

A couple of months passed by in a blur. I took up knitting to save money and made some darling little booties and hats, while picking up baby clothes from discount shops. I read every book available on babies and tried to avoid the online Mummy Wars. I also started to avoid other people as I began to show with a small round bump. I was proud of my bump and I wasn’t ashamed. We were two people that felt desire for each other and sex was natural. We had been consenting adults. But the guilt trips from strangers over my obvious lack of wedding ring and husband weighed on me. I worried about what kind of life I was bringing my child into, how they would be judged just like I was judged by my ‘betters’.

Curled up at home knitting and watching bad day time talk shows I was surprised to hear the doorbell ring. This was the kind of apartment block where you politely pretended not to co-exist. And it wasn’t like I could afford online shopping so I was surprised me doorbell even worked.

Heaving myself awkwardly out of my chair I walked heavily to the door, pulling it open to reveal none other than the father of my child, Senator James Chilton.

“Sasha!” He greeted me with cheerful relief, “I heard you left and I had to come and find you and persuade you to return to politics, you’re too good to be lost to it over the indignity of Kramer’s office.”

I didn’t reply and waited for his eyes to shift off my face. A second after the words had left James’s mouth he took in all of me - all of me - and his came to rest on the small basketball sized very visible bump under my dress.

“
Oh”
He said, lost for words.

“Oh, indeed,” I replied weakly, placing a hand protectively over my belly.

James recovered, looking at my belly and up to my apprehensive face and he spoke with kindness, “Is this why you fled the Hill? Sasha a baby is not a life sentence, we can work this out. If your baby’s father won’t step up, I will. You can have baby, career and love.”

I broke into a smile at James’s despairing hopeful face. Not being able to hold back any longer “James, this baby is yours.”

I cupped my belly and shyly looked up at him, unsure. James’s face broke out into a huge handsome grin and he took me in his arms and put a strong hand on my stomach. He drew me in for a warm kiss. Pulling away he kept his face near mine, our noses almost touching and his smile said it all.

“Sasha,” he said, “I was hoping that the baby was mine, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up and presume.”

“Well,” I replied, “If you want to step up it’s your baby you are stepping up to. I wanted to hide to protect you but I guess now you know.”

James looked serious, “Honey my career doesn’t come before love or my principles. I’m not the Alison Kramer’s or Fletcher’s of the world. I fell in love with your application then with you, I thought we were on the same page about lines being silly. I was wrong to not recognize you didn’t feel in a position to take that risk, or that I didn’t convey I could handle any blowback. But I’m here now and trust me, everything will be fine, I’ll make it so. There is no one else in my life but you.”

I smiled with relief and leaned into his strong embrace. No longer a secret baby on the way but a baby between two people in love finding their way, whatever challenges the scandal may throw up. I took James by the hand and led him inside.

******

I took James by the hand into my small yet comfortable bedroom. Our faces met and we kissed, pushed apart unlike before by my swelling belly which held the results of our last intimate encounter.

There was less fire and ripping clothes off than last time. This was a mature, calm, warm burn. My body felt inflamed with desire. Pregnancy had altered my body and hormones and made me lust after a strong protective man. The changes in my body aroused me. My breasts were huge and sensitive and ached to be touched, my nipples tender. My bottom had blown out into curvaceous round mounds longing to be squeezed by firm fingers. Where I carried the baby…my belly was round and hard and the weight of the baby sat low, squeezing my private parts. I felt like I both needed to go the bathroom and to orgasm.

I arched my back as James kissed me. The tension I carried in my back was eased as James walked me over to my bed and pushed aside the pillows, carefully helping my unwieldy body to lie down. James stood, looking down at me as I lay flustered with my dress hiked up and my belly heaving.

He spoke, “You are so beautiful right now. Beautiful in a different way to how you were in my office.”

I glowed and replied, “You are even more handsome to me as the father of my child.”

James grinned and moved onto the bed, careful not to bump me. He was trying to be so careful around me, as if I could break and he had to treat me like a delicate china cup lest his baby be bumped.

I reached for him and pulled him into a firm embrace, “its okay, James, I won’t break. You can touch me, don’t be afraid.”

“God you’re so round,” James sighed as his hands, tentative at first, explored my body. “I love it.”

His hands went straight to my round swollen belly. He ran his hands over my roundness lightly at first, then firmer as he grew confident when he looked at me in query and I nodded encouragement. Smiling he cupped my belly at all angles, exploring the tautness of the skin. A hand found its way to my full soft breasts and I reached down to touch his hardness.

“Oh!” I gasped as the baby began to move inside me.

I grabbed James’s hand and placed it firmly on my stomach where I felt the tumble and kick, “See!” I said excitedly, “feel that! That’s our baby!”

“Wow!” exclaimed James as our hands held over the furry of kicks, causing a look of wonder of his face.

“Sasha,” James said lustily, “I want you…I want to have you while you carry our baby and every day after.”

I reached for my Senator and kissed him passionately, “I want you too,” I replied with desire.

James helped me out of my dress, as he had helped me out of my clothes before. But slowly this time, awkward over my large stomach. I was more impatient with James’s obstructions to me getting to his body. I had been living in this body for months, I felt comfortable and confident in expressing my desire. I helped yank off James’s clothes and soon we were naked and flushed together, lying in each other’s arms kissing and touching.

James pushed a hand between my legs, struggling a moment to find the best way around my new body. Kissing me his fingers found where they remembered. I was wet and wanting, so long untouched. His fingers found me and explored me, looking for new sensations and changes as my hands made for his thick cock. I wanted to feel inside me what I remembered so vividly, what had given me pleasure like I hadn’t had before.

“I’m ready…” I murmured into his mouth, reaching again for him, urgently wanting him to relieve the built up ache inside me.

“Are you sure?” James asked with tender concern.

The cocky brazen lover of the office had been replaced by a tender considerate lover. I loved both equally, wanted both equally. I needed to guide James into finding his style in the new context of my swelling stomach and tender breasts.

I turned on my side and motioned for James to spoon me, “We can do it like this,” I said with direction.