Her Brooding Italian Boss (13 page)

* * *

His negativity surprised Laura Beth. When she peeked over at him, she saw something in his eyes she’d never seen before. She’d always known he was wounded. She’d believed the loss of his beloved wife had leveled him. Now she knew it was more than that. That he’d fallen out of love with his wife long before her death, when he’d lost a child. And something about this situation seemed to be bringing it all back for him.

Carefully, quietly, she said, “He wouldn’t want anything to do with her because of her class? Because she’s the maid?”

“Because he’s in his seventies and he’s never even slowed down, let alone settled down. The one woman who might have caught him with her pregnancy—with me—he summarily dismissed from his life. If she’s in love with him, Rosina will get her heart broken, because my dad can’t settle down.”

She tried to make the connection. Was there something about Constanzo deserting Antonio’s mom and the loss of Antonio’s own child that connected? What could have made him so angry?

They finished their sandwiches and a hush fell over the kitchen. Her mind skipped back to the studio, to how they’d been kissing when Antonio got the call. With Constanzo in no real danger, would they pick up where they’d left off?

Antonio caught her hand. “You must be tired.”

She swallowed. “Truthfully, I haven’t had enough time to think about it today.”

Their gazes met. He smiled and she could almost hear the question he wanted to ask.
Will you come to my room with me?
They’d been on the verge of making love and everything inside her wanted to go with him, to give herself to him, to take away his pain.

She waited for him to ask the question.

His eyes darkened as he studied her face.

The urge rose up to bridge the gap between them and kiss him. To make the first move.

But that silly shy fear of hers filled her. She needed to know—it had to be
clear
that he wanted her.

He released her fingers and pulled back. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Confusion filled her. For all the times and ways he’d confided, telling her what troubled him tonight should be easy. They should be heading for his room together, talking things out, making love. Instead, he was walking away.

He stopped at the kitchen door and faced her. “With Constanzo having tests in the morning, maybe we could get in a few hours in the studio before we go to the hospital?”

The studio. She’d gotten him to tell her about his wife in the studio. Whatever the cause of this new sadness, she could get it out of him tomorrow.

* * *

They ate breakfast quietly. Clearly believing his father was in good hands, Antonio ate toast while reading the paper. Laura Beth took slow, measured breaths. He wasn’t upset this morning. But his dad had also had a heart attack the day before. Maybe the sadness she was so sure she’d seen while they’d eaten sandwiches had been nothing more than sadness over nearly losing Constanzo? Maybe she’d made a mountain out of a molehill?

She slipped away while he finished his second cup of coffee and raced upstairs to slip into the black dress and spike heels. The dining room was empty when she returned, so she headed for the studio.

She found him assembling brushes and paints and simply headed for the chaise.

“Ready?” He peeked from behind the canvas and laughed. “Ah. Not just ready, ahead of me.”

She smiled, but her lips wobbled. Something about the mood in the room didn’t feel right. How could he have been so utterly sad the day before and be almost happy today?

“Is that bad?”

“I like eagerness in a woman.”

He was trying to sound light and flippant, but having spent so much time with him Laura Beth noticed the strain in his voice. Her fears came crashing back. As any child would, he’d been upset about his father the day before, but something else had happened.

“Could you straighten the fabric at your back? There’s a kink I don’t like.”

She nodded and reached behind her to find the unwanted fold in her dress, but couldn’t reach it.

“Here. Let me.”

He walked over. As he pushed her long hair out of the way, she could feel his fingers skim across her back. She drew in a quick breath. Pinpricks of excitement danced along her flesh.

Looking over her shoulder at him, she raised her eyes to meet his and his fingers stopped as their gazes met.

“You’re very beautiful.”

And here it was. The real truth between them. He found her beautiful. He saw her in a way no man ever had. And it didn’t just thrill her. It seemed to set her free. To turn her into the woman she wanted to be.

“You’re very handsome.”

His fingers moved from the fabric and traced a line up her shoulder. Warm and sure, his hand flattened on her back as the other went to her waist to turn her to him.

Neither waited for the other to move. His head came down as she rose up a bit to meet him and their lips met in a reunion of delicious passion. Wave after wave of heavenly delight flooded her as their kiss went on and on.

When she would have thought he’d move away, he caught her by the shoulders and deepened the kiss. She met his fierce kiss with her own fierceness. When he pulled back, his mouth fell to her neck, skimming wet kisses along the line of her collarbone.

She shuddered as her eyes closed in ecstasy. “I love you.”

The words came out naturally, easily. Still, she wasn’t surprised when he stopped kissing her. This was momentous for them. They might have been tumbling to this point for weeks, but neither had ever said the words. She opened her eyes and smiled expectantly. But instead of the sheen of passion or the warmth of love, pain filled his eyes.

He gazed at her longingly, as if she held the secrets to his happiness, but he said, “I don’t love you.”

For thirty seconds, her ears rang with the silence, then as the reality of what he’d said sank in, her heart exploded in her chest. An indescribable ache radiated to every part of her body. The words
I don’t believe you
sprang to her tongue, but she cursed them. When would she ever learn she was Laura Beth Matthews, simple girl? Not glamour girl like Eloise or earth mother like Olivia. But plain Laura Beth Matthews, IT person who couldn’t find a job, and who was never going to be loved with passion.

She pulled away from him. “I see.”

“I don’t think you do.”

He reached for her but she shook him off. Thank God for good, old-fashioned American pride. Her chin lifted. Her thoughts cleared.

“I understand very well.” She caught his gaze, working to hide the pain that sliced through her, cutting her to the core, making her feel like the world’s biggest idiot. “A lot more than you think.” She drew in a calming breath, telling herself she could scream or cry or whatever she wanted to do as soon as he was gone. But right now she had to get him away from her. “Go see your father.”

He stepped back. Confusion clouded his dark brown eyes.

So she smiled. Though it physically hurt to force her lips upward and to hold back her tears, she managed because she refused, absolutely refused to look like a fool in front of another man. “I think we both need a little time to cool off before we get back to the painting, and your dad’s going to be griping at the nurses.” She studied the lines of his aristocratic face, the wild black hair, the set of his jaw. He would say she was memorizing him, and maybe she was. Because she knew this would be the last time she saw him.

The pain of that sliced through her, but she ignored it. She took another step back. “You better go rescue them.”

He ran his hand along the back of his neck as if confused. “What are we doing?”

She had no idea what he was doing, but she was leaving. He was a brilliant but broken man, and she’d walked right into the trap of loving him, thinking she could help him when clearly she couldn’t.

“We need a cooling-off period and you should be checking up on your dad.” She lifted her chin again and smiled shakily. “I need some time.”

“I’m sorry—”

She cut him off. “Don’t make this any weirder than it already is. I’m fine. I misinterpreted what was going on between us.” She shrugged. “It happens all the time. No big deal. I just need a break. And you going to see your dad is the best way for me to get myself together.”

* * *

Antonio’s heart seized at the loss of her as she stormed out of the studio, but he let her go. Because it was for her good. He was an angry, bitter man, mourning the loss not of a deceitful wife but a child. And she was a naive young pregnant woman who’d already gotten involved with the wrong man once.

He wouldn’t tie her to him, but more than that, he wouldn’t taint the experience of her first child with his wounds, his regrets.

CHAPTER TWELVE

L
AURA
B
ETH
CALLED
Bernice and within an hour Constanzo’s plane was ready for her at the private airstrip. She climbed the steps. At the top she paused, taking one final look at the beautiful Italian countryside.

Bernice had tried to talk her out of leaving, but she’d explained that her mind was made up. She said goodbye to Rosina and drove herself to the airstrip, leaving Antonio’s car to be picked up by staff.

Strapping herself into the plane seat, she remembered flying to Italy, eating French toast, falling asleep beside Antonio, who’d put a cover over her. Her heart lurched, but the memory of his rejection poured through her. Dear God. She’d never been so surprised. She’d been so sure he’d say he loved her too.

Straightening in her seat, she scolded herself for letting herself remember even one minute of their time together. She’d had warning after warning that he wasn’t ready for what she needed. Twice he’d stepped back rather than kiss her. He hadn’t wanted her to go to Barcelona. Yet she’d ignored every signal he sent because he was a wounded man, so desperately in need of love that, of course, she’d longed to love him. Handsome, talented and desperate for love, he’d been just a little too much to resist.

Pain threatened to overwhelm her, but she shoved it down. She had responsibilities and realities of her own, and she’d come to her senses. After one quick pass of her hand over her tummy, she snuggled into a blanket, intending to fall asleep. But tears welled in her eyes. Her chest heaved. And sobs overtook her.

Alone on a plane with no one to see or hear her, she gave in and let herself weep.

On the ground in Kentucky, she rented a car. When she used her check card to pay for it, she discovered she didn’t merely have the full salary Constanzo had promised her, but Antonio’s father had also ponied up the promised severance pay.

She called Bernice to have it taken back, but Bernice laughed. “Are you kidding? Constanzo is happy to be alive. He’s so generous right now that I’m surprised he didn’t double it. He’ll never take it back. Besides, he gave orders for the money to be given to you weeks ago, when you first arrived. No matter when you left that money was going to you...so it’s yours.”

Though Constanzo’s generosity was a bit overboard, Laura Beth understood that he felt he owed her. Helping her set up her new life was probably how he’d deal with her leaving. He needed to know she’d be okay and money was his tool. So maybe it would be best to just take what he offered. She’d fulfilled at least part of her duties to Constanzo by helping Antonio clear out his office and getting him to a gallery opening. She’d also gotten him painting again—Constanzo’s real goal. So, yeah. She could understand why Constanzo had been so generous.

Plus, the money meant she could move on. Never see Antonio again.

That filled her heart with pain. She let herself feel it as a reminder that she never wanted to be so foolish again, but she didn’t really need a reminder. In her heart, she knew she’d never love another man the way she loved Antonio.

She arrived at her parents’ house a little before dawn. She made coffee and pancakes, and, as she expected, the scents woke her mom and dad and her two brothers.

As hugs were exchanged, she swallowed hard. She didn’t want to ruin this reunion, but she knew it was time to accept her fate and do what needed to be done.

When everyone had a few pancakes on their plates, she smiled at the group. “I have some news.”

Her tall, strapping construction worker dad laughed, and said, “You’re staying in Italy,” as if it were a foregone conclusion.

She shook her head. “No. No more Italy. I’m actually home for good. I got a huge severance from the gentleman who’d hired me. I can afford to buy a house here.”

Her mom clutched her chest. “You’re back?”

She nodded. “For good.”

Then her mom surprised her. “Oh, sweetie, we love you and we love the idea of you living in town with us—” she caught Laura Beth’s gaze “—but you wanted so much more for yourself. A big-time career. Are you going to be happy here?”

Laura Beth swallowed as unhappiness swelled in her. Still, it wasn’t the big-time career she would miss. It was Antonio. The real love of her life. But how could she explain that to her parents when she was pregnant with another man’s child? Worse, how could she explain that when Antonio didn’t feel for her what she felt her him?

She couldn’t. Her love for Antonio would have to stay her hidden secret. Another cross to bear.

For her parents’ sake, she brightened when she said, “Yes, I’ll be very happy here, because I have a child to raise.”

At her parents’ confused look, she said, “I’m pregnant. Bruce doesn’t want to marry me, but I’m okay with that. I don’t love him either.” An arrow pierced her heart again when she thought of the man she did love, but she ignored it. “And with the severance pay I got from Mr. Bartulocci, I can buy a house and support myself until after the baby’s born. Then I may need to take some courses, like accounting, so I can find a job around here.” She squeezed her mom’s hand. “But it’s all good.”

* * *

Nothing was good. Antonio glanced around the private suite they’d given his dad, at the rows and rows of flowers that covered every flat surface in the room, and even parts of the floor. Still, his father grumbled.

“It’s hot in here.”

“It’s almost June. It’s supposed to be hot.”

“I want to see Laura Beth.”

Pain squeezed Antonio’s heart, but he forced himself not to show it. When he’d returned to the house the day before, her room had been empty. Rosina knew nothing, though her crying suggested otherwise. He’d had to call Bernice before he got the news that she’d taken the plane and gone to Kentucky.

“She went home.”

Constanzo kicked his covers around, trying to get comfortable, but obviously failing. “I can’t believe she went home. What did you say? What did you do?”

“Interesting how you assume I somehow drove her off.”

“Didn’t you?”

He had. He knew he had. But this was none of his father’s business. Plus, there were bigger issues in Laura Beth’s life than a heartbreak from a guy who hadn’t deserved her love.

He sucked in a breath and faced his father. “She’s pregnant.”

Constanzo stopped struggling. “Oh, my God! How did I raise you to let the mother of your child go? Did you learn nothing from my mistakes?”

Antonio shook his head. “It’s not my baby.”

Constanzo’s eyes narrowed. “Is this why she was so eager to come to Italy?”

Antonio nodded. “She needed some time to think things through and a place she could gather herself while she figured out what to do. You provided it.”

“I am good that way.”

Oh, how the man could turn anything to his favor! “You’re a crabby old man.”

“I anticipate!” Constanzo yelled, then he sucked in a long, slow breath. Antonio tensed, worried something was wrong, but Constanzo quietly said, “You are going to make me pay until the end of time, aren’t you?”

Confused, Antonio caught his father’s gaze. “What? What am I making you pay for this time?”

“Leaving you.” He brushed his hand in dismissal. “No. That is not correct. You aren’t making me pay for leaving you. You are making me pay for everything wrong that happened in your life after your mother died.”

Antonio bristled. He did nothing but ask, “How high?” when his dad said, “Jump.” He catered to his whims and wishes. Canceled plans. Made plans. How could Constanzo even hint that Antonio was somehow making him pay?

“That’s insanity.”

“Is it? You always hold yourself away. You love me but you won’t give me love.”

Antonio gaped at him. “Are you lying in a hospital bed, recovering from a heart attack, splitting hairs with me?”

Constanzo fussed with the covers. “Yes.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“I almost died. It gives a man clarity.”

“Right.”

“I am right! I want my son to love me and respect me. Not give me bits and pieces of affection.”

“Maybe you should have thought of that before you kicked my mom out of your office.”

“And there we have it.”

Antonio shook his head and turned away from his dad. “I’m not having this conversation. I’m tired, I’m stressed and you’re pushing me into saying things I don’t mean.”

“And why are you stressed? I’m the one who almost died.”

Antonio tossed his hands in disgust. “There’s no winning with you.”

“There could be. All you have to do is love me like a dad, not like an enemy you’re forced to interact with.” When Antonio said nothing, he sighed. “Forgive me for not believing your mom.”

Antonio squeezed his eyes shut.

“Then forgive Gisella for being a slut.”

His eyes popped open and he spun to face his dad. “What?”

Constanzo laughed. “You think I don’t know? You think my own daughter-in-law could flaunt her affairs in my favorite cities and word would not get back to me?”

Antonio rubbed his hand down his face.

“You carry the weight of betrayal like a good-luck charm. Something you’re afraid to set down for fear if you do bad luck will return. Because I didn’t trust your mom, you’re afraid to trust me. And because Gisella humiliated you, you won’t trust Laura Beth.”

“If it were that simple, I think I could get beyond it.”

“Then tell me the part that’s complicated.”

He blew out a breath. “Gisella aborted our child.”

His dad blinked. “Oh.”

“And Laura Beth is pregnant. I have mourned the loss of my child for two long years. I wake up most days knowing I should have a son or daughter playing in my yard. I cannot handle having a pregnant woman under my roof, and it isn’t fair to subject her to my anger when she’s not at fault.”

Constanzo closed his eyes and shook his head. “I am so sorry.”

“Why? It’s not like you understand. You very easily let my mother go...then forgot her. Forgot
me
. How could you possibly understand my loss?”

“I think it’s time I tell you what really happened with your mom.”

Antonio slowly lifted his gaze to meet his dad’s. “I’m not in the mood, Dad.”

“But this is finally the right time. The only time. If you don’t change now, I fear you will be gone for good.”

Gobsmacked, he only stared at his dad. “
I
need to change?”

“Yes. Just listen.” Constanzo cleared his throat and quietly said, “Your mother was a rebound relationship.”

Antonio frowned. “I thought you’d been dating?”

“We had. I’d lost the love of my life and one day your mother happened to be at a club where I was socializing. We struck up a conversation. One thing led to another and she came home with me.”

Antonio shook his head, not sure how the hell this was supposed to help him. “She was a one-night stand?”

“She was a rebound. I’d been ridiculously in love with a woman I thought loved me too. But she hadn’t. She hadn’t been with me for my money or for love. A rich heiress, she was simply biding time. Waiting for a better guy to come around.”

“So you did the same thing with my mom.”

He winced. “Yes. And after a few weeks, I let her go.” He fussed with the covers. “Then a few weeks after that she came to me with the pregnancy story and I thought it was a ruse. A way to get back with me or get back at me.”

“So you kicked her out of your office and forgot her because you were busy?”

Constanzo nodded. “And though it seemed like the right thing at the time, ten years later I suddenly realized what I’d done. If she really had been pregnant, I’d tossed away a child.”

Antonio sniffed a laugh.

“Oh, you think you’re so superior. But my loss of you is not so much different than the loss of your child. Except in my case I had a hand in things. But when a person comes to his senses and realizes he’s thrown away his one chance at real happiness...” He paused, caught Antonio’s gaze. “It more than hurts. Sometimes, it stops a life.”

Antonio swallowed hard.

“Did you love Gisella?”

“At one time.”

“But the love died?”

He glanced up at his dad. “I’m not sure she had any love for me to die.”

“So you feel a fool?”

He drew in a long breath and expelled it quickly. “That sort of gets lost in the grief I feel over my child.”

“And you don’t see the second chance you’ve been handed?”

He frowned.

“You love Laura Beth.”

He shook his head. “She’s a very nice woman. Far too good to be dragged into my pit.”

“Oh, pit, schmit.”

“Excuse me?”

“Now you are splitting hairs. Maybe because you’re afraid.”

“Afraid? Hell, yes, I’m afraid. How do I know I won’t see my baby every time I look at hers? How do I know I can be a good husband when the only chance I got to try resulted in failure?”

“Do you love Laura Beth?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “I have feelings for her that are beyond expression. Sometimes when she’s around it’s comfortable. Other days, she makes me think. I can’t imagine anyplace I’d go, anything I’d do that wouldn’t be more fun if she was there.”

Constanzo laughed. “Oh, my son. You have it bad and it scares you.”

Antonio licked his suddenly dry lips. “I failed with a woman who seemed to be tailor-made for me—”

“Men like you and me, Antonio, we’re not made for princesses or supermodels. We’re high maintenance ourselves.”

Antonio laughed.

“We are made for the Laura Beths of the world. The women who bring sunshine. The women who make us stop and enjoy life. If you let her go, you will regret it for the rest of your days. But more than that, if you can’t finally learn to forgive, the regret you have over her leaving will be nothing compared to the sadness you will find when you wake up one day and discover you created your own prison.”

Antonio looked over at his dad. “You want me to forgive you?”

“For real this time. And I want you to forgive Gisella.”

He sniffed a laugh. “She doesn’t need my forgiveness.”

Constanzo shook his head sadly. “No. But your tired soul needs the rest forgiving will give you.” He patted the bed, asking for Antonio’s hand. Antonio slid his hand over to his dad, who caught it and squeezed. “You lost a family, but Laura Beth is offering you another. Sometimes fate is weird like that. It cannot give you back what you lost, but sometimes it finds a replacement.”