Her Guardian's Heart (9 page)

“I spoke to my inner Guardian. She told me you showed her the doors that we’re not supposed to open.”

“I’m glad to hear it. I was going to tell you. Your first confrontation with her means you’re both reaching a point where you can integrate your personalities. This is happening at a good pace. That makes me happy.”

“Yeah, it’s great. She also told me when I was unconscious you spoke to one another. She tried to tell you how we felt about you. When I regained consciousness, I kissed you. You kissed me back. But you left the room so suddenly. We never got to finish our conversation.”

Tannin tried to pull his fingers from mine, but I held to them fast. I wasn’t about to let him go. Not after I knew exactly what was going on. Was there an empty heart in his chest? Did he even have a soul to love, or had it dried up over all this time he had been alone?

“We are
not
having this conversation. I made my feelings for you perfectly clear. We are not mates,” he seethed. A green fire ignited inside of his eyes and made them dance.

“How do you know that? Your emotions are so tightly wound and shielded I think you’ve forgotten you have a heart. You don’t want to remember love because of the woman you lost. All this time you’ve remained aloof. I know what it means to lose someone. And I know the connection, the pull between two people that makes them know they are meant for one another. I feel it with you. And it’s not because I’m part angel.”

I brought our combined hands to my cheek. I searched his eyes, imploring him with mine. He had to see I was telling him the truth. “It pains me to be around you knowing that you won’t accept me. The Guardian side of me will wither away. Landon and I are healing. A new hole has formed in my heart because you’ve made it perfectly clear that you’re my boss. Please, Tannin. Just open yourself to the possibility that the goddess hasn’t forgotten you. She’s given you another chance to love.” I kissed his fingers and then released them.

His eyes were troubled. His nostrils flared and the creases in his forehead deepened. The chinks in his armor were cracking. “Melina, you don’t know what you’re asking me to do. What you’re asking me to accept.”

I got up, touched the side of his face, and brushed my lips over his. He drew in a haggard breath. “I’m only asking you to let your guard down. If you can’t do that, then I won’t ask you ever again. The consequences are that the Guardian inside of me will be locked away again.”

“You can’t sacrifice what has been unleashed because of some relationship you think we have.”

“I’m not sacrificing anything. I’m telling you the truth. We’ve agreed upon it. I’ll love Landon and face my old family. I’ll forget that I have a new one. I wouldn’t be able to be around you. If I stay, I’ll look in your eyes and see your rejection. I’ll separate myself from you and it will be too late because you’ll realize what you’d lost.” Tannin didn’t answer. I touched his face, kissed him once more on the forehead, and then collected my purse. I walked to the door and was about to open it.

“Where are you going?”

“Home. I can’t go back to the shop right away. Tonight Landon has an art show, so I’ll have to get ready for that.”

“You’re miles away from your house.”

He didn’t seem to believe that I could get by on my own. “I’ll manage. I have a cell phone, so I can call a cab. Goodbye, Tannin.” I walked out the door and didn’t look back. I couldn’t tell if he would follow me or try and stop me. Everything in me prayed he would stop me and tell me he needed me in his life. Yet he didn’t. What I had hoped for would never come to fruition. A tear slid down my cheek and that sealed our fate.

Chapter Five

While I walked down the road, I called a cab company. It took them half an hour to show up, but I waited. On the drive home, my Guardian half knew that we wouldn’t be able to be around him and survive. She wanted me to give Tannin some time before she retreated into the darkness. I didn’t want to think about saying goodbye to the family that I had just met. However, being around them would mean I would be around Tannin. I couldn’t do that. It would drag back too many harmful feelings.

When I returned home, it was noon. I spent the rest of the afternoon tending to the greenhouses in the backyard. I went in the one that was specifically set aside for the blue roses. The life around them vibrated. The flowers were supposed to be night blooming; Nick had loved them so much since he couldn’t go out in the sun. He suggested which ones would be better to crossbreed with and helped me create the hybrid. With a little help from the energy that I fed them, they became beautiful flowers.

“It’s a shame you don’t share them with the world.”

A cold chill ran down my back. I turned slowly, gripping the shears in my hand to see who the intruder was with a voice that I recognized. Behind me was a man with an eerie blue glow around him. I could see the delicate rose petals through him. The shears slipped from my fingers and clattered to the floor. My hand flew to my chest.

“You can’t be here.”

He smiled that same enticing smile I had seen the first night I met him. His hair had fallen lopsided on his forehead. I wanted desperately to reach over and brush the lock aside. Nick looked exactly the way he had when he had died.

“Why can’t I be here? Because I’m dead?”

“The goddess took you. Why are you coming back from your rest?”

Nick stood a few inches from me. I could see the little lines around his eyes that he got when he was thinking hard or something was troubling him. “I came back because you needed me. I swore to you that I’d never abandon you.”

“No. I’m okay. I’m on the way to mending things with Landon. Why weren’t you there for me after you died? These past two years I’ve had a gaping hole in my heart because he pushed me aside. Why now? Did Tannin have something to do with this? Did he pull you back so you could convince me not to give up my Guardian half? Is that it?”

He ran a finger down my nose the way he used to when he teased me. “The angel didn’t call me. Landon reached out and begged me to return. He said that you needed me. So I came. I couldn’t come to you before because you had to heal first before this meeting could happen. I’ve missed you, though.”

“Why would he call you?” Every part of me trembled. The shock of seeing Nick before me hadn’t worn off.

“Because he desperately wants you to forgive him. He can’t trust himself with you. I know he turned his back on you after I was killed, but he didn’t stop loving you. He watched you every night while you slept. He swore to me that he’d protect you. Landon’s worried that your heart will be taken by this other man and he’ll lose you to this new family. That, and I know Melissa was murdered.”

“Did you see who did it?”

“No. I just felt that she was dead. So, do you forgive Landon for everything that has happened?”

“Of course. We have a long way to go with building trust on both sides, but that doesn’t mean I stopped loving him. Landon doesn’t have to worry about me being swept away by my new family or Tannin. At this moment, he doesn’t want me. And I’ll put my new family behind me.”

“No, Mel, you shouldn’t have to do that. You shouldn’t have to turn your back on that now that you’ve found something so genuine.”

“I don’t have a choice, Nick. I can’t be around Tannin without feeling that desire to be with him. The longer I’m around him, the stronger the compulsion will get to cement the bond. That’s what it was like between me and Landon. It was an agonizing month of pain building inside of me. It was like I was coming out of my skin every time he touched me. And when you made love to me, it was doubly worse because I could feel Landon fighting it.”

“He only fought it because of what had happened to his first mate. He couldn’t face the fact of losing another person that he loved.”

“Yeah. Then he accused me of killing you. It tore my soul out. How could I know that Eric would come to claim me? I never wanted you to die. I wanted to be with you for an eternity. It didn’t matter if I was a vampire or a werewolf. Then Landon shut down the link between us, leaving me all alone. I live in a fog. After having such happiness, will I be able to have that again?”

Nick nodded. “He sensed the wall in your mind even before he asked me for help. He knows you want to reconcile. But Landon didn’t know if you were planning on opening your mind to him again.”

“He’s my mate, Nick. I want to fall into his thoughts and be caressed by them when we make love. The way that we used to. I can’t say that I’ll ever fully forgive him, but I want to try. Tell him that I’m not going to run away after we’re done working things out.”

“I’ll tell him that.” He brushed his lips across mine.

The cold kiss made me want him all over again. To have him in the flesh, but only the goddess had the power to bring someone back from the dead. Was it even possible to resurrect a vampire?

“Now, about the angel?”

“He doesn’t want me. Goddess, it’s hard being around you. All I want to do is hold you. All I want to do is hold him. Seeing you here only makes this worse. I appreciate it though.”

He grimaced. His eyes scrunched up from the pain. “It’s hard for me too. But we both know there’s nothing that I can do. I can only watch out for you. Don’t give up hope on the angel and the beautiful Guardian inside of you.”

His power thickened. I felt his hand on my face. I curled my cheek into it, feeling how wonderful it was to have him back, at least for a moment. “I’ll try.”

“Can you show me her? Can you show me your wings?”

“I don’t know how.”

“Close your eyes and open your mind to me the way you used to.”

I did what he said. Nick pressed his forehead to mine. He hovered on the edge of my mind. I relaxed and brought him down into the darkness of my thoughts, further than I had ever let him go before. Through what used to be a padlocked door, the door now opened into a field that was lit by twilight. In the middle of the meadow was my Guardian. She was combing through her feathers. She looked up. She rose and stepped toward the both of us. It was hard to be separate here when I wanted both of us to be together. This was the first desire I had about that. She touched Nick’s chest.

“Hello,” he whispered.

“Hi. How can you be here?”

Nick looked at me and then back at her. “You’re not aware of each other yet?”

“No. We’re not integrated. At least not yet. Soon, if Tannin realizes that he has me. Us,” my Guardian said.

“It’s an honor to meet you. You’re as beautiful as your mirror image. Will you do me the honor of showing me your wings?”

My mirror image took my hand. At the contact, more of us came together. She opened her wings. I felt the weight of them on my back. When I looked behind me, there was nothing there. Nick gasped when he saw them.

“Can I touch them?”

“Yes,” we said in unison.

When he touched the curve of the feathered and scaled wing, the tenderness of his caress radiated through my body. If he did that again, I couldn’t stay within the confines of my mind, but he didn’t.

“Thank you.”

She nodded. He stepped back from my mind. When I opened my eyes, I was back in my own body. I looked around for Nick and he had vanished, although I could still sense his presence. I glanced at my watch. It was almost six. The time had gone and I needed to get ready for the opening.

After racing around, I was running a little late. I could feel my Guardian half with me and more aware. I could almost feel the heaviness of my wings. She pressed upon my mind, the weight of a cobweb resting on my thoughts. When I finally pulled in, the place was packed. I wore one of Landon’s favorite dresses. It was dark green and complemented my golden skin tone. I had even done up my hair and woven a couple of the blue roses through it.