Her Loyal Seal (5 page)

He pushed her damp hair off of her forehead. His eyes looked so soft and worried she had to force herself not to cry. Dammit, she hated this illness. Her emotions were all over the board.

He put the glass down, gathered her up, and tucked her face into the crook of his neck.

“Let it out, Baby, I’m not going to think less of you if you cry. It’s going to be all right.”

“I’m not going to fucking cry. There’s no crying in football or soccer, or whatever you call it.”

“Baseball.”

“Fine. Baseball.” Lydia bit her lip so hard she could taste blood. “
Dios
, it’s never going to be all right ever again.” And it wouldn’t.

“Tell me. How the fuck did you end up back in the hospital. On one hand, I’m so damn mad you let yourself get run down again.” Despite the tone of his words he pushed her gently away so he could look her in the eye.

“On the other hand, I’m so fucking thankful you got sick again so I could find you.” He kissed her forehead. “Now tell me how you got sick.”

“Mama got ill. It was just the flu. Papa got so worried she was going to die he said the stress of being in hiding was killing his family so he wasn’t going to testify. When I ended up getting ill too, I knew I couldn’t let on.”

His eyes glinted fire.

“You could have died! Pneumonia is serious shit. Jesus Lydia, I could just shake you.” He kissed the top of her head.

“Papa would have had more second thoughts. He has to testify. Those agents have to testify against Guzman.”

“So if you didn’t tell them you were sick how did they find out?”

She burrowed closer to Clint wanting to sink into his warmth. She didn’t want to answer him, because she knew how mad he would be. He let her get away with it for long minutes. He seemed to need the connection as well.

Finally. “Answer me, Lydia.”

“Apparently I didn’t wake up. They had to call an ambulance.”

“You’re so getting a spanking when you get better.” She laughed, and then it turned into a cough. He held her up while helping her drink some more water. Then he adjusted the bed into an upright position.

“How long are you here for?” she asked.

“Nobody knows I’m here. This is one of those ‘ask for forgiveness’ kind of things.”

“What?”

“You know the old saying, ‘It is better to ask for forgiveness than permission’. If I asked for permission, they might have said ‘No’. Not my lieutenant. Mason would have said ‘yes’. But our captain might have said ‘no’.”

“Oh God. Are you going to be in trouble?”

He didn’t meet her eyes.

“Clint, you’ve got to go back.”

“Nope. I left a message for Mason. He knows where to find me if he needs me. I can be back in San Diego in four hours if I have to. Right now, I’m where I need to be.”

More tears leaked. “I can’t seem to stop crying.”

“It’s okay, Baby. I couldn’t stop swearing when the computer pinged and you were back in the hospital.” He lowered the bedrail and sat down next to her hip.

“How did you find me? They didn’t even use the same alias as the last time.”

“I have certain parameters set up. There have been a couple of false reads, but when a beautiful girl with pneumonia in the DFW area showed up in the hospital, I checked her out. I had a gut feeling, don’t ask me how, but I knew it was you. God dammit, they had you in ICU! Do you know how fucking serious that was?” His face was so close to hers she could smell the toothpaste he used.

“But Papa-”

“I don’t give a shit. Lydia, you’re more important than him.”

“But I’m not more important than putting those animals away.”

“Yes. You. Are.” He was serious. He sat up and raked both hands through his short sandy hair.

“Clint, we haven’t seen or talked to one another in over a month. I’m going to go into the Witness Protection Program. You can’t allow me to mean that much to you.”

“Really? Are you saying I don’t mean that much to
you
?”

There was a buzzing sound. He pulled out his phone and winced and answered it.

“Yeah Mason, I’m here in Dallas.” He paused. “Yeah, I’m with Lydia.” He paused again. “Yep, you got it in one. It’s not good, but she’s got good doctors, and she’s going to get better. She doesn’t seem to have the sense God gave an ant.” He gave her a hard stare. She gulped. He listened for long minutes. “I appreciate the choice, Mason. Thank you.” He sighed. “So I wouldn’t have to be there until tomorrow night?”

Lydia couldn’t believe how much it mattered to her. It shouldn’t matter. Nothing would ever come of their time together.

“Yeah, now I’ve seen her for myself I can breathe again. I’ll take a flight back to San Diego tomorrow afternoon. Thanks man. I’ll be there for the team.” He pressed end on the phone and dropped it back into the side pocket of his cargo pants.

“You should go back today.”

“I’m staying Lydia.”

He cupped her cheek and stared down at her. She finally looked away, embarrassed by his scrutiny.

“Baby, please don’t scare me like this again.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

The lines in his forehead eased. He smiled. “I didn’t bring my computer, I knew you were too sick to play video games. Hell, look at you, you can barely keep your eyes open. Just sleep beautiful.”

He was right, all of the conversation had worn her out. But she didn’t want to sleep when he was actually there with her. He was going to have to leave on some secret mission, and then she would be going into hiding again.

He must have seen the angst on her face. His other hand came up and cupped her other cheek, his thumb tracing her dry bottom lip.

“Rest baby. I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”

****

“Clint!” Lydia looked around the darkened room, and then saw him sitting with his e-reader.

“I’m right here, baby.” He got up immediately and came to her. He grabbed her hand and brushed back her hair. “Damn, you still feel feverish.”

“I’m feeling better. It must be the
rest
.” She gave him a grin.

“I’m glad one of us can smile about this.”

“How soon before you have to leave?”

“I have another hour.”

“Were you going to leave without saying good-bye?” She felt the damn tears welling. God dammit, when was she going to stop being so weepy and needy?

“Absolutely not. Lydia, I promised I would be here when you woke up. I keep my promises. So even if I had to wake you up before leaving, that’s what I was going to do.” He squatted down beside the bed so they were eye level. “You believe me, don’t you?”

“Yes. Your word is golden.”

“Okay, no more tears. They kill me.” She looked at him, and realized he was telling the truth. Her pain was his pain. Oh God, she couldn’t let him feel this way. This was the last time they were ever going to see one another, maybe she could make him hate her.

“So what do you want to talk about, the fact this is going to be the last time we’re ever going to see one another?” She bit her lip and tried not to gasp for air. This time she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Clint looked as anguished as she felt.

“Lydia-”

“I need you to get the hell out of here. Now.”

“Wait a minute.” He was frowning at her.

“I mean it Archer.” If there was any food in her body, she would throw up. As it was she had to force herself not to gag. “I’m going into the witness protection program. My father is a criminal.”

“Your father isn’t a criminal. He made some bad mistakes which he’s correcting.”

“You don’t know everything.”

“I don’t give a shit.”

“Get out of here. I appreciate the visits. You’ve been a great guy. I can’t thank you enough for having saved me. For having saved my family. But that’s all it was. That’s all it can be. I’ve been living in a dream, building little happy endings.”

“Exactly, there’s more here, you mean more to me than-”

“Shut up and leave.”

“No. You mean so much to–”

“Well nothing can come of this. I’m sick. My life is in ruins. I don’t need one more thing to feel bad about. I’m begging you. Leave.”

“Oh Baby, this isn’t going to work you know. I’m not going to leave here being mad at you. I care too much.” He stood and bent over the bedrail, his hands framed her face. He stared deep into her eyes.

“You’re one of the best things that has ever happened to me Lydia Hidalgo.”

“Ahhh Clint.” What could she say to that? To him?

“You need to leave now.” He looked at his watch. “I’ll never forget you Clint.”

“There is no way this is over, Baby.”

“Yes it is. You need to forget me like I need to forget you.”

He came around to the other side of the bed, furthest from the door. He pushed down the bedrail and eased his hands under her back and legs.

“What are you doing?”

He lifted her, got into the bed, and arranged it so she was lying, over him.
Oh God, it felt so good.

“In the little time we have left tell me the truth.” She looked into his eyes and found she couldn’t lie anymore.

“I don’t want you to disappear again.”

He cradled her head under his chin, and his hand rested against her forehead. He kissed her hair.

“Tell me about your nightmares. Tell me about your dreams. I want to know everything there is about Lydia Hidalgo.”

“Clint, this is so wrong. Nothing can come of it.”

“Give me this. Give me this time. This is my dream.”

“I’ll give you this if you’ll then give me my dream.”

“Anything.”

“First, you tell me everything there is about Clint Archer, then you promise to forget me.” He clutched her close, she felt his warm breath on her neck.

“Ahhh, Lydia. You hold your dreams close, and I’ll hold my dreams close.”

Chapter Four

Lydia woke up in a cold sweat. Her father and mother were standing over her bed, her mother had tears tracing down her face, and her father looked anguished.

“Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital again,” her mom whispered. Everything hurt. Lydia felt like she was under water. Even asking the one question had taken an enormous amount of energy.

“Why?”

Her mother’s eyes darted over to her father, and Lydia remembered. She remembered being strong once. This wasn’t her.

“I relapsed didn’t I?”

“It’s all my fault.” Now tears dripped down her father’s face.

She couldn’t deny it, so she didn’t say anything.

He turned away from Lydia’s hospital bed, her mother tried to grab him, but he fled the room.

Lydia struggled to lift herself up, but fell back on the bed.

“You must rest daughter.”

Lydia watched her mother twist the straps of her purse.

“I’m so sorry. I should have made him stop. I was pretty sure what he was doing. I should have stopped him, but I wanted a better life for you and Beth.”

Lydia’s tears started in earnest. She had always suspected that her mother knew about her father’s illegal activities, but to have it confirmed devastated her.

“Where is Beth?” It took all of Lydia’s concentration to ask the question, she was dizzy and it hurt to talk. The pneumonia had sapped all of her strength. She hated the toll this illness took on her body. It seemed like this third bout was the worst.

“She has to be close by, you know our keepers won’t let her get far.”

Lydia grimaced. She realized her mother was bitter. They had been cooped up in the safe house now for four months. But they were safe. And, hadn’t
both
of her parents brought it on themselves?

“How long,” Lydia started to cough.

“Sweetheart, you need to stop talking. You need your rest.”

“Mama,” Lydia said between bouts of coughing.

The door to her room opened. A woman came in, and it took Lydia a moment to recognize Dr. Woods. God she hated this, even her memory was hazy when she got so sick.

“How are you doing, Lydia?”

“I–” Lydia started to cough. The doctor came over and put the stethoscope to her chest and listened.

“You’re breathing is better than it was yesterday.”

“How long will I need to be here?” Lydia pressed her hand against her chest, trying to stop the wheezing.

“You were here two weeks last time and you still ended up back here. I think it’s safe to say you’ll have to be here longer this time.”

“How much longer?”

“We’ll have to wait and see. Lydia, you’ve already been here for five days,” Dr. Woods said as she took her pulse. “We’re putting you on even stronger medications this time. We’ll monitor you closely.”

Lydia fought back tears. For a moment she wondered why she was crying, then she remembered it was just another side effect of her illness. She saw her mother and doctor looking at her with sympathy. She hated it. She hated everything. She clenched her fists.

“You
will
get better,” Dr. Woods assured her.

“Until the next time I end up here, right? Isn’t my immune system pretty much shot?”

“Why would you think that?”

“I just assumed that since I’m here for a third time I must just be prone to this now.” She wiped the tears from her face, causing her arm to ache.

“Lydia, it’s amazing you made it out of the jungle alive. I don’t know if you remember, but I was one of the doctors that treated you. The injuries you received from the whipping and the infection because it was unlike anything we’d seen here in Dallas. Your recovery was nothing short of a miracle.”

Everything Dr. Woods described was a blur. The only thing Lydia remembered during that time was Clint. She remembered the fierce look in his eyes when he demanded she stay alive. His hazel eyes were burned into her memory, along with a voice that sounded like a truck driving on a gravel road. It would rumble and growl and somehow make her feel protected and safe. And now she would never see him again, at least she prayed she wouldn’t, because it would hurt too much. She started to cry in earnest.

“Lydia, my God, what’s wrong sweetheart?” Her mother looked frantic.