But the flat of his hand against the door prevented me from opening it. He was so close behind me I could hear his ragged breathing, feel the strength of his presence. I closed my eyes, but it didn't shut off the tears, or stop my heart from crashing into my ribs.
"You're right," he said in that maddeningly calm way of his. "We can't go on like this. And we won't. I promise you, all will be well again."
"It can't be. It's not just my summoning of Mr. Gurry…it's everything!" I dared to look at him, to see if he understood my meaning.
If he did, it wasn't clear. His face was closed, the muscles tense as he fought to keep the mask in place. "It's still daylight," he said. "Go outside and get some fresh air. You've been cooped up too long. You'll think more clearly after a walk."
"And if I don't change my mind? If I still want the reference…will you give it to me?"
He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We'll talk later. Not now. I'm…not in the right frame of mind." He slowly removed his hand from the door.
I didn't enter my room. He was right; I needed to feel the cool air on my face. Perhaps it would blow away the fog that was clouding my head.
I hurried down the stairs and out the front door to avoid the others. The sun shimmered through the trees, but the air had already cooled considerably since I'd opened the door to the Overtons. My hot cheeks needed it.
I walked along the drive and out through the gate, where I could no longer be seen from any of the windows. I needed true privacy from the Lichfield residents, if not from the public.
As I often did when I was troubled, I found myself wandering into the cemetery to my adopted mother's grave. I almost detoured to Gordon's, but I needed the comfort of my mother. I sat on the mat of leaves and leaned back against the headstone.
The twittering of the birds overhead as they settled into their nests chased away any eeriness I often felt when alone in the cemetery. I tried to empty my head and just listen to them, but thoughts of Lincoln and what I would be leaving behind kept returning.
He hadn't seemed like he'd wanted me to leave. Or had he, and I'd just missed the signs? I had hardly looked at him, so it was possible. Yet he hadn't asked me to stay either; not in so many words. He hadn't refused me a reference, hadn't said that Lichfield was my home as much as it was his and that I belonged there.
And when he said we would talk later, how much later? As soon as I got back? Tonight? Tomorrow?
My thoughts went around in circles and did nothing to steady my erratically beating heart. He'd thought a walk would clear my head, but I felt more confused than ever. Earlier, I'd been determined to get a reference and leave Lichfield. Now, I wasn't sure if it was the right decision. It might be…or it could be the biggest mistake of my life.
When the headstone at my back became too cold, I headed out of the cemetery and along Swain's Lane, toward Hampstead Heath. I'd decided to demand he tell me his thoughts on the matter of my staying or going, and leave my decision until after our discussion. I saw no other way.
The sun had sunk behind the horizon by the time I reached the iron gates of Lichfield Towers. They loomed out of the darkness like giant skeletons, but I found them welcoming. I quickened my pace and put my head down into the breeze.
I didn't see the two figures jump out of the shadows until they were upon me. Acting on impulse, I jabbed my elbow into one man's stomach and smashed my foot into his knee. He cried out as he fell to the ground.
I swung round to attack the second man, but a fist smashed into the side of my face, sending me tumbling into the gate. My cheek burned, but then the pain mercifully faded away as I slipped into blackness.
The room was shrouded in semi-darkness. Coal glowed in the grate, warding off very little of the chill. I shivered. I seemed to be lying on a sofa or bed. My wrists and ankles were tied, and no matter how much I struggled, I couldn't get free of the bonds. My shoulders ached from having my arms wrenched behind me and my cheek felt like it was on fire. I fought back the well of tears banking behind my eyes. Now was not the time to succumb to hopelessness.
I quickly scanned the room then scanned it again. I seemed to be alone.
I sat up. The room swam, but I managed to stay upright A few deep breaths later and I felt almost normal and alert again. The room appeared to be a small office. It contained a filing cabinet, desk and two chairs. I was on a bed, but not the sort used for sleeping on. It was a medical bed found in doctors' surgeries. That meant there must be medical equipment nearby—scalpels and needles and other sharp objects I could use as weapons. My spirits lifted. I could do this. I
would
get out, one way or another.
I hopped off the bed but stumbled to my knees. My legs felt weak and the rope around my ankles bit into the skin through my stockings. I wasn't wearing any shoes.
Get up, Charlie.
I tried once again to untie the rope, but with my hands behind me, it was impossible. If they had been in front, I might have managed it. Damn, damn and damn!
I got to my feet again and hopped around on my toes as quietly as possible. My progress was painful and slow, but the office was tiny, thank goodness. I tried to open drawers and cupboards, but everything was locked. So was the only door. There had to be some way I could get out, or alert someone that I was trapped in here.
I half shuffled, half hopped to the window and nudged aside the curtain with my chin. The office was on the ground floor! I couldn't believe my luck. It didn't overlook a street, however, but a small garden with other buildings surrounding it. The sun was still sinking behind them and—
Wait. The sun had already set when I'd been taken. I looked again. The clouds were a pinky orange, and dew dampened the patch of grass. It wasn't nighttime, it was morning. I'd been unconscious for hours.
A well of pity and fear opened inside me. There would be no rescue from anyone at Lichfield because they didn't know where to look. No one had seen my abduction. No one had followed us here or I would have been saved already. I was truly on my own.
I drew in a fortifying breath and studied the buildings surrounding the garden. They were not close enough for any occupants to hear my shout. I looked to the ceiling, but if there were more rooms above, I still couldn't be sure if anyone was up there, or if they would hear me. Besides, a shout might bring one of my captors into the room, and that was something I didn't want. I'd recognized Captain Jasper last night, Pete and Jimmy too. This must be where Jasper saw patients.
Another hop around the office brought me no closer to a plan of escape. I needed to get the damned ropes off. Even if I managed to escape the room, I couldn't run anywhere, trussed up like this.
I tried rubbing the rope that bound my wrists against the edge of the desk, but it was hopeless. It didn't even fray. The small rectangular brass plates on the filing cabinet would be better. They acted as both handles to pull open the drawers and holders for the label. Their edges were sharp.
I hopped toward the cabinet, but tripped on the edge of the rug and landed heavily on my side. Pain flared in my cheek again but I bit back a cry.
It didn't matter. My fall had been heard. The door unlocked and swung open. Captain Jasper stood in the doorway and held his lamp higher. If I'd been closer, I could have used the moment it took for his eyes to adjust to tackle him.
But I wouldn't have been able to do more than that with my hands tied behind my back. Particularly if Jimmy and Pete were in the next room.
He spotted me on the floor and came over. "It's Miss Holloway, isn't it?"
"And you're Captain Jasper," I hissed.
He looked surprised that I knew that much. "Are you all right?"
"Do I look all right?"
"I'm very sorry for this, but you shouldn't have fought back. My men were already afraid of you and then when you hit them, they thought you must have been possessed. I tried to assure them that you weren't." He helped me to my feet and waited until I was steady before letting me go. "You're not, are you?"
"What do you want with me?" I snapped.
"We'll get to that in a moment." He set the lamp down on the desk near a stack of papers then sat on the edge. "Are you all right? That bruise on your cheek looks nasty."
"Of course I'm not bloody all right. I am being held against my will. I don't know what you want. My face hurts, and so do my ankles and wrists." I turned and waggled my hands at him. "If you are a gentleman, you would set me free."
"I'll untie you, if you'll listen to my proposal. I don't wish to hurt you. Will you listen?"
He would untie me? It was more than I'd hoped for. I nodded quickly and tried to school my features.
"Sit on the chair and don't attack me," he said. "Jimmy is just outside this door. If anything happens to me, he has my authority to hurt you again."
Jimmy, not Jimmy
and
Pete. I only had two men to get away from, not three. The odds were improving.
I sat quietly while he untied my wrists then remained still as he stepped back out of my reach. He didn't untie my feet, but had no objection when I bent down to do it. The knot was tight and I broke half of my fingernails in the attempt, but I finally got them off. My god, such relief!
"Did you learn to tie knots like that in the army?" I rubbed the raw skin at my ankles then set the rope in my lap.
"I did, as it happens. How much do you know about me, Miss Holloway?"
"Very little. I know you're experimenting on dying men, then testing their bodies after their deaths. I just don't know to what purpose. Or why you've kidnapped me."
"I've kidnapped you because you'll make my experiments so much easier. You can raise the dead, and I wish to speak to the dead. It will solve a host of difficulties I've encountered."
I shook my head. "I don't understand."
"That night at Mr. Lee's establishment, you opened my eyes to a new way of gathering information from my test subjects."
Subjects? Was that what he thought of the men who died after he fed them that liquid?
"I wasn't aware of people like you until then," he went on. "I didn't know it was possible to raise the dead. It wasn't until I got home that I began to consider the applications of your…gift. It could change the way I work and will certainly save a lot of time and effort."
"What work, Captain? What are you doing to those poor men? Killing them?"
"No! Good lord, I'm no murderer. No, I wanted to
save
them."
"That doesn't make sense. Save them how?"
"They were going to die anyway, Miss Holloway. When I found them, they were already close to death. I didn't hurry the process along, I simply watched them as they deteriorated and grew closer to the end."
"Then what was the liquid you fed them?"
"That was supposed to save them. Well, not save them as such, but bring them back to life."
My stomach rolled. Another mad doctor obsessed with bringing back the dead. Why couldn't they leave them be? "The dead don't want to be brought back to life, Captain."
He scoffed. "Of course they do." He pushed his glasses up his nose. "No one wishes to die. I'm trying to develop a serum that brings the dead to life again."
"Is that what you fed them? That liquid was the serum?"
He nodded. "It must be administered
before
death."
"And the blood in the syringe?"
"I extract samples for testing. I need to record the changes to the subjects both before and after death. That's why I kept those four bodies in the butcher's cold room."
"You were testing them too."
He nodded. "I took samples from them periodically to monitor changes to their muscle mass and vital organs. I couldn't bring them back to life yet, but they helped me fine tune the serum."
"And how close are you to developing it?"
He sighed and pushed off from the desk. "Not as close as I would like. It would help if I could speak to the subjects about the changes they experience. That's where you come in." He smiled at me. "You'll raise them for me and I'll interview them and perform tests. We'll start today. Bertram Purley will be buried this morning. It's best to start with a fresh corpse."
I willed him to turn around, to take his eyes off me for a moment. But he did not. "Were you experimenting with this serum in the army?" Keeping him talking was all I could do for now, but biding my time grated on my nerves. I just wanted to get out and go home.
He smiled. "It's where I developed and nurtured the idea."
"Until your superiors discovered what you were doing."
He pushed his glasses up his nose again. "On the contrary. They were quite happy for me to continue. They encouraged me. The application of such a serum has enormous benefit for the army, naturally. Ordinarily, when a soldier dies on the battlefield it means they are a man down. But if he can rise again…" His face lit up, his eyes bright in the lamplight. "It would make the British army a strong force, impossible to defeat."
It certainly would. "None of your superiors objected? How many knew?"
"Only two. But the secret got out." He sighed. "Others learned of it and they didn't see the benefits. The very thought sickened them." His mouth twisted into a mocking smile. "Some people are closed minded, and nothing can convince them of the wonderful possibilities that science and medicine can offer the world. I was dismissed from the army, but I continued my work here, in this office—and at Mr. Lee's and the butcher's too, of course."
"Did you hide the bodies in the cool room to slow down their decay?"
"Very clever, Miss Holloway. That was the intention, but it wasn't cold enough for my purposes. I need to learn what happens to them much, much faster. That's where you come in." The light in his eyes flared again. "Miss Holloway, I haven't been this excited in years. My mind is running wild with possibilities. Perhaps I can study you too, one day."
My chest constricted and my stomach rolled.
"Do you think your master will present a problem?" he asked.
He thought I was going to help him? Just like that? I opened my mouth to tell him he was wrong, but shut it again. Playing my hand too early would work against me.
Wait, Charlie. Just wait.
"He might," I said carefully.
"Then you should hand in your notice. I'll rent accommodation for you nearby."
"Where are we?"
"Savile Row."
"That's a nice area. Can you afford to keep me?"
He smiled. "I have funds. My work hasn't been abandoned by everyone. Some still see the benefits."
"Who?" I blurted out.
He shrugged. "Anonymous benefactors." He laughed. "Isn't that always the way?" He grasped my hand and patted it. "You won't regret this, Miss Holloway. I'll pay you a wage too, of course; much better than you're paid as a maid. I trust our arrangement will be to your benefit as well as mine."
I withdrew my hand and forced a smile to my face. "Thank you. You've answered all my questions. Oh, one more. Those two men who work for you…" I effected a shudder. "They frighten me."
"They frighten you?" He laughed again. "My dear Miss Holloway,
you
frighten
them
. Particularly Jimmy. He's terrified you'll set a ghost onto him."
I laughed too. "Shall I assure him that I won't as long as he doesn't hurt me?" I touched my cheek. "Is he just outside?"
"He is, but he's asleep. Let him rest a while longer." He glanced at the window where the birds had begun to wake up and chirp for their breakfast. "It's still early."
"How did you know where to find me last night? From Mr. Lee?" I thought about the boy who'd benefited from Seth's coat and gloves. It saddened me to think he would betray me to this man, but it was understandable. I would have done the same thing when I'd lived in the gutter and a little money meant the difference between living and starving to death.
"One of the groundsmen from Highgate Cemetery, as it happens. Chap with an ugly birthmark on his face. I asked him who had been to Thackery's grave, and he described you. He said you lived in the big house with the iron gates at Hampstead Heath."
I gasped. "How did he know that?"
Jasper shrugged. "Perhaps he followed you home after one of your visits to the cemetery. He said you go frequently."
My fingers tightened around the rope. Had the groundskeeper followed me of his own volition, or on someone else's behalf? Both options filled me with horror. I shuddered again.
"Are you cold?" Jasper asked.
"Yes. Can you build up the fire?"
"Of course. Wait here." He smiled sheepishly. "We removed the fire tools when we brought you in here. Couldn't have you using them as weapons, could we? I am sorry for the harsh treatment, Miss Holloway. We couldn't be certain how you would react when you awoke." He nodded at my cheek. "I'll take a look at that after I see to the fire." He gave me another warm smile, and I almost felt guilty for what I was about to do.
Then I felt the tender bruise on my cheek. I was
not
going to feel guilty for a single thing.
Jasper left the room and returned a moment later with fire irons and coal box. He was still smiling. I smiled back and poked my head out the door.
"He's still asleep," he whispered to me. "Shut the door."
I shut it and couldn't believe the man's naivety. Did he really believe I would just help him? I supposed he thought I was simply Lincoln's employee, easily bought like any other servant.
He knelt by the fire and opened the lid of the coal box.