Her Old-Fashioned Husband (6 page)

She really needed to answer the phone. Apologize. Tell him she didn’t mean a word of it. But she found herself frozen. Suddenly the silence hit her.

He’d given up.

Tears welled in her eyes. Idiot. You wouldn’t answer the phone because you didn’t want to talk to him and now you’re upset because he’s given up trying to talk to you.

What was wrong with her? She felt like an emotional wreck. Like she was stuck in a downward spiral with no way up. She’d just wanted things to be perfect. To be an amazing wife, to have wonderful babies, to give Tom the life he deserved.

Instead she’d dug herself into a miserable hole and she was only making things worse.

Frankie
she stared at the flashing light of
the answer machine. Tom had left her a message. She swallowed heavily, working up the courage she ne
eded to listen to it
. She’d lain awake most of the night, filled with guilt and worry.

She needed to get moving.
If she didn’t leave soon she’d be late for work.
Face scrunched up, not really wanting to hear the
message;
she quickly reached down and pressed the playback button.

Tom’s voice immediately came through the speaker, rich and stern.

“Young lady, wh
at rule do we have in our house?
If I am ringing, you must always pick up. That’s two.”

She frowned.
Two? What was one?

As though he could hear her, he continued. “One was not eating dinner when you were supposed to. And I’m making a new rule, one I never thought I would have to, and that is you are not allowed to hang up when we’re having a conversation. It’s disrespectful and rude. And you will not be leaving me. Ever. That was a horrible threat to make. Honey,” his voice became quieter, gentler
. “I know you’re stressed and tired at the moment, when I get home we’re going to sit down and have a long talk. I don’t like seeing you so upset and exhausted.
Now, I will ring you during your lunch hour. I love you, baby. Drive safely. Eat. Take care of yourself.”

The message ended and it was then she realized she had tears running down her face. What had she e
ver done to deserve such a man?

*****

By the time
lunchtime came around, Frankie was a nervous wreck. She’d spent most of t
he morning
berating herself. Her boss had even asked her if she was ill and needed to go home. She’d been tempted to lie and say yes, only what would she do at home except obsess more?

Walking outside to sit in the sun, she sighed as she realized she’d forgotten to bring an
y lunch with her.

Her cell rang in her hand. Tom’s name flashed on the screen. Frankie ran her finger over the screen to unlock her phone,
and then
drew it up to her ear.

“Hello,” she said shakily.

“Baby.” Tom’s voice immediately had tears rising to her eyes. The relief in his tone humbled her and doubled her guilt. “Are you okay? I’m so worried about you.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just couldn’t talk to you again last night. I was really upset. I didn’t really mean that stuff about, you know, putting me in a diaper or leaving you.”

“I know you didn’t, honey. But saying you’re going to leave me, even in the heat of the moment, is serious. I stressed all last night that you were packing your
bags
;
that
you wouldn’t be there when I got home. Do you know how frightened I was? I just don’t want you ignoring my calls anymore, got it? I can’t function with worrying that something has happened to you. If I could have got a flight home last night I would have.”

“No, no, don’t do that. I’m fine. I just miss you and I was already upset last night...” she trailed off.

“Why were you so upset last night?” Tom asked her quietly.

“Well, I—”

“You took another pregnancy test, didn’t you? When I expre
ssly forbid you not to do another test
without me present.”

Frankie remained quiet.

“Frankie,” he said warningly. “Think about this carefully. Do you really want to add lying as number four?”

“Four? What happened to three?” she
squealed. How had she racked up
punishment
s
this fast?

“Three was hanging up on me.”

“But I didn’t know that was a rule!”

“Common courtesy and respect has always been a rule. I just didn’t think I needed to spell that out,” Tom said patiently. “Now stop procrastinating and start talking.”

She sniffled miserably, trying to hold back the tears.

“Baby, talk to me.”

“You’ll be disappointed in me.”
And she couldn’t bear that. She just wanted to make him happy. She knew she wasn’t always a good person; that Tom deserved someone who was kinder and nicer, but she couldn’t give him up. So she was trying her hardest to be whatever he needed.

“Honey, just tell me everything. You’ll feel better after.”

“I took another pregnancy test and it was negative,” she admitted in a quiet voice.

“Ahh, baby,” he said tenderly. She almost melted in a pool of tear
s. “I know how upsetting that is
. Why do you think I didn’t want you taking one again without me? Because I need to hold and comfort you after.”

“I know,” she sobbed. “Please don’t be disappointed in me.”

“Sweetheart, the only thing I’m disappointed about is that I couldn’t be there to take care of you after. I know how much love and support you need after.”

Frankie gave in and sobbed.

“Frankie, sweetheart, don’t cry, you’re breaking my heart,” he said miserably.

“S-sorry,” she stuttered, unable to stop herself.

“Shh, shh,
it’s
okay, baby.”

“It’s not okay,” she cried. “There’s something wrong with me. I can’t have children.”

“Frankie, I want you to listen to me carefully, all right? Take a deep breath and let it out slowly, calm down and listen,” his voice took on a stern tone.

Frankie did as he ordered, wiping her eyes, huddling in on herself in the hope no one could see her.

“Yes, sir,” she whispered.

“Whether we can or cannot have children, I love you. Understand? Whatever happens we will deal with it together. We’ve been trying for a year, honey. It’s not unheard of
for it to take that long or even longer
.
What worries me is how upsetting this has become for you. Honey, I’m worried about you. I think it might be a good idea if we took a break from
trying to get pregnant.”

“No,” she said urgently. “No, Tom, we can’t. What if there is something wrong? What if we have to do IVF?”

“We’re both young
and healthy
.
We have plenty of time.
There’s no rush. Frankie, I think it might be a good idea for us to talk to someone about all this.”

“A specialist?” she said hopefully.

“A
counselor
.”

“No! Why? Do you think I’m a whack job because I-because I suggested
you put me in a diaper?
It was the heat of the moment!”

“Honey, just calm down of course that’s not why I want us to see a
counselor
. The failed pregnancies are very u
psetting for you.
You are my first priority. Your safety. Your health. We will go to a specialist if the
counselor
thinks
it’s
a good idea. I know that this is a good idea. For both of us.
”

She didn’t know if she could talk to a stranger about this, but on the other hand she couldn’t keep going on as she was, she felt near breaking point. Plus, she knew when Tom spoke in that voice that his mind was made up. He was not going to bend.

“All right,” she said
.
“I’ll go talk to a counselor with you.”

“Frankie,
it’s
going to be okay. I’ll be home around ten tomorrow morning.
Jeff will drop me off.
Now, have you had some lunch?”

“Not yet.”

“I want you to go and get some lunch
,
eat it and not worry. Might be a good idea for you to go stay with Heath and Ava tonight.”

“No,” she said urgently then tempered her tone. “No, that’s okay, I don’t feel like company.”

“Okay. I will call you tonight. Pick up the phone. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Tom closed his cell with a frown. Damn, of all the times for him to be across the country. He could tell how upset his wife was. Her failure to get pregnant was knocking her around. He
was starting to wish that
he’d never agreed to try for a baby. But she’d been so insistent.

Of course, it didn’t help that Ava and Bryony were b
oth pregnant.

He wanted children. Eventually. But
he wondered why they’d started
trying
straight away
, almost from the day of their wedding
. He guessed he’d gotten caught up in the idea and not thought about the reality, about whether they were both truly ready for a baby. Like he’d told Frankie, they were both young, they had plenty of time. He was building up his practice and right now, he needed to concentrate on that and on his wife.

Her negative pregnancy tests each month were taking a huge toll on her. He’d noticed her fatigue and weight loss with worry.
Tom vowed
to pay more care and attention to her. With his practice needing so much time lately, he hadn’t been home as much as he would like to. And he was really worried about Frankie being by herself.

Not that Frankie wasn’t a capable, smart woman. She was all those things and more. She was brilliant at her job and he
was so proud of her. But she
didn’t always cope well with stress and worry. She tended to find other outlets to mask the effects stress was having on her, like shopping or throwing herself into work.

It had been a battle of wills when they were first married. Anytime Frankie got upset, she’d go shopping, racking up a huge bi
ll. And while they were comfortable
, she didn’t need half the stuff she bought
,
and if there was one thing Tom hated it was waste.

So each time Frankie
we
nt on a stress-related spree, Tom
made her return everything then he’d sit her down to
have a talk
.
Which often led to a trip over his knee.
Sometimes it was only during a spanking that Frankie truly let go and re
leased all her stress
.

Her need to get
pregnant was becoming obsessive, and he wasn’t quite sure why. He needed to get to the bottom of what was really going on with her.
Both of them needed to take a step back and evaluate what they were doing
and where they were going.

Frankie needed to know that
whether they could have children or not, he loved her and was committed to her and his relationship.

She was his everything.

And he knew she didn’t truly understand that. She seemed to
think she needed to provide him with this perfect life.

Tom let out a deep b
reath. He’d handled this badly.
He should have waited
to talk about the counselor
until he got home so he could speak to her face to face and reassure her, hold her close. Now, she was probably fretting that he thought there was something wrong with her mind.

He didn’t think that at all.

But he didn’t like the fact that she’d threatened to disappear on him. Fear pierced his heart at the idea of not having Frankie in his life. He’d wanted to race home last night and tie her to the bed. He smiled a little. In fact, tying her to the bed wasn’t a bad idea, then he could play with her at will. Torture her to
the point of
ecstasy over and over.

Then spank her until she promised she’d never even think about leaving him
again
.

Tom was a naturally dominant man. His need to care and nurture was tied in with his need to protect. And Frankie came first in his life. He loved caring for her, indulging her where possible, but he also knew she needed boundaries and consequences.

Frankie had grown up in a household where her father was most definitely the head of the household.
When Frankie’s
parents had died at sixteen, her oldest brother, Heath had taken over as her guardian. Heath was probably a stricter disciplinarian than Tom was.