Her Russian Beast: 50 Loving States, New Mexico (34 page)

B
Y the time
Sam woke up two days later, she was still having a hard time understanding why she felt so out of sorts about the whole situation. Nikolai had technically kept his promise, showing up for dinner the last two nights in a row, eating nearly everything she put in front of him. But he hadn’t exactly been great company.

He’d let her and Pavel do pretty much all the talking, only interrupting when he was done with his dinner to say he had work to do and would be in his office.

It was a start, and that was the best she could hope for. More than she would have dared to hope for a few days ago. And she had a plan to make Pavel less dependent on her and Back Up…

Oh, who was she kidding, she thought as she pulled on a pair of sweats. She was going to miss Pavel terribly. She could barely stand to think about their parting because she’d grown too used to having the little boy in her life over the past month. He’d given her a reason to not work so hard over the last few weeks, to delegate more than she had in the past, and she’d liked coming home early so she could be there when Dirk dropped him off after school.

She liked, she admitted to herself with a quiet pang as she left her room, being his mama.

But she wasn’t his mama. He only insisted on calling her that. She wasn’t even related to him by blood. Nikolai was. And in the end, her moving out would be the best thing for all of them.

She knocked on Pavel’s door and did her best to not look like she was trying to memorize his dear little face when he opened it, already dressed in the gym shorts and t-shirt he wore for their morning yoga session.

After they were done with yoga, as had become their routine, they put on their coats, and walked Back Up around Nikolai’s neighborhood. Sam actually wouldn’t have called where Nikolai lived a neighborhood if it had been up to her. It was more like a small collection of mansions, all owned by local multi-millionaires and set far apart from each other on acres of land. She’d never seen a hamlet, but the word came to mind on her walks.

They weren’t the only ones out walking a dog that morning, but Sam was one of the few official dog parents among the lot. She called out greetings to housekeepers and professional dog walkers and nannies alike, but her greetings to the few millionaire wives who deigned to walk their own dogs went more or less ignored. One even crossed to the other side of the street to make sure her well-groomed standard poodle had no contact whatsoever with Sam’s bullie. A totally unnecessary action since the last time Sam had checked, it was physically impossible to get licked to death.

“That woman doesn’t like Back Up,” Pavel observed, watching another well-dressed woman walk quickly in the other direction.

“There’s a lot of misinformation going around about Back Up’s breed. At first glance, she looks tough and mean, so a lot of people assume she’s dangerous when they look at her and they get scared. But we’re lucky because we know the truth about her,” Sam said. “In any case, it teaches us we should never judge anyone by their appearance.”

“Uncle Nik looks tough and mean. Do you think he’s dangerous?”

The question caught Sam off guard. Pavel probably didn’t realize it, but he had just introduced a topic rife with emotional landmines.

“No,” she answered carefully. It didn’t exactly feel like the truth. The truth was, her stomach knotted up every time she was in a room with Nikolai. The truth was, even before Marco had informed her of what he most likely had done, she could practically feel danger radiating off him and it scared her a little.

But she would be leaving Pavel in his care. Plus, as serious as he could be at times, the fact remained that Pavel was only a child. She couldn’t tell him any of that. “I don’t think he’s dangerous.” To you, she silently added.

“Then why don’t you like him?” Pavel asked.

“Who said I don’t like him?” she asked.

“You’re nice to everyone. You even try to be nice to those ladies who cross the street to get away from Back Up. But you never try to be nice to Uncle. You never really smile at him like you do everybody else.”

She wanted to say, “Yes, I do!” But then she realized the only time she’d ever smiled at Nikolai was when she was either faking it, or trying to convince him to do something for Pavel’s sake. Like the other day when she’d gotten him to agree to come home earlier.

“You’re right,” she said. “I could maybe try to be nicer to your uncle.” It was an easy promise to make, since she was technically moving out that day.

Not knowing this, Pavel beamed at her, which reminded her that she needed to schedule a dentist appointment for him before she went. She pulled out her phone and put a note in her to-do app to call Isaac about setting it up, since it needed to go under Nikolai’s insurance plan. But when she went to categorize the reminder under “Pavel,” a wave of sadness rolled over her. Pretty soon, there’d be no need for a special “Pavel” category in her app.

“You know what we should do after Dirk drops you off tonight?” she asked Pavel. “Go to the Children’s Museum.”

Pavel had lived within a five-mile radius of the Children’s Museum of Indianapolis nearly all his life, but he’d never been. Sure, his class would eventually take a field trip there, but Sam wanted to give him something to remember her by before she left. One last great afternoon together before she dropped the bomb that she and Back Up wouldn’t be living with him any more.

After their walk, they ate breakfast. Pancakes, sausages, and eggs—a little fancier than what Sam usually made for them, and she was more than a little concerned she wouldn’t be able to keep the meal down. But she wanted Pavel to have nice memories of their last morning together.

Making and eating breakfast took a little longer than usual, and Dirk pulled up under the porte-cochère while Pavel was still up in his room, gathering his back pack and other school essentials. So Sam took the opportunity to have a little talk with Dirk while they waited.

“Hey, do you mind giving me a call later on today? I have some things to go over with you about Pavel’s transition.”

Dirk frowned. “Oh, is that still happening?”

She gave him a confused smile. “Yeah, why would you think it wasn’t?”

“Cuz I called Isaac like you told me to, and he made it sound like I didn’t have to worry about it.”

Alarm bells went off in Sam’s head. “So Isaac hasn’t found a replacement? He told me he was working on it.”

Dirk just shrugged. “I dunno. I guess call Isaac—hey Pav!” he called out when the little boy came out of the house and down the red brick steps with Back Up close at his heels. “What’s up, little man?”

Conversation over, Sam thought. But she’d for sure be calling Isaac as soon as she got into work that day. Meanwhile, she grabbed Back Up by the collar and took her up the stairs to the porch as the town car rolled away. She’d learned the hard way that Back Up would run after the limo if she wasn’t physically held back. Despite having only known each other for less than two months, she and Pavel shared a special connection.

Best friends, she thought with a pang of guilt for splitting them up.

“Bye, Mama!” Pavel called out the open window as the car rolled away.

She waved back, reminding herself that him calling her his mother was not healthy. For either of them. This was definitely the best thing to do. Definitely. Her heart just had to catch up with her mind in this case.

She started to go into the house with Back Up, but stopped when she saw a white BMW come through the open gates, passing by Dirk’s town car before it eventually came to a stop under the porte-cochère.

An older man in glasses and a black suit climbed out of the car and asked, “Is it okay to park here?”

Despite standing a few feet away, she could smell the overbearing stench of his cologne all the way from the porch.

Sam visibly recoiled. “Kevin, what are you doing here?” she asked.

Pavel had been wrong about her being nice to everyone but his uncle. She and Kevin Boatman had met a couple of times on the wrong side of his conference room table. He was one of Indianapolis’s top family court attorneys, and he had a reputation for fighting extremely dirty. She hadn’t been allowed to sit in on either of the actual proceedings for her intakes, but she’d dealt with the damage afterwards. And in both cases the women had decided to go back to their abusive husbands rather than risk the things Kevin had threatened them with behind closed doors. She didn’t need much more than that to truly hate the man.

But he wasn’t in his law offices now. He was here at Nikolai’s house. At the front door, so someone must have buzzed him through the gate. But that didn’t make any sense, because none of Nikolai’s household staff were going through custody proceedings as far as she knew, and even if they were, they wouldn’t be able to afford Kevin.

Which only left…

A chill of foreboding ran down her back, and she sensed someone now standing directly behind her. Someone who was usually long gone by now.

When she turned around, there was Nikolai, big as his nickname, his face stony and hard, like an iced over statue in the Kremlin’s front yard.

N
IKOLAI watched
Samantha closely as she sat down across from him in one of the study’s leather guest chairs. It was her second visit to his study, but this time there was no awe in her expression as she took her seat. No bright smile dimpling her face either.

In fact, her angry eyes stayed on the lawyer, as if Nikolai had brought a lethal snake into his study, even as she spoke to him. “Why are you doing this?” she asked Nikolai.

The sincere note of hurt in her voice irritated him. She acted as if she hadn’t been the one to start this, the one who’d decided to leave, taking his baby with her.

Kevin, who’d chosen to remain standing, stepped in smoothly to answer that question for him.

“As you know, Ms. McKinley, I handle all matters involving family law, which this falls under since you are pregnant with Mr. Rustanov’s child.”

Samantha shook her head at Kevin. “I’m only a few weeks pregnant, and he’s already calling in a shark like you?”

If Kevin was insulted by her words, it didn’t show on his face. “Mr. Rustanov has concerns about your future plans. You’ve insinuated that you plan to retain full custody of his child.”

Now Samantha looked from Kevin to Nikolai, like they were both crazy. “Yes, I’m going to retain full custody because I’m the baby’s mother and because he,” she shot an angry glance at Nikolai, “and I barely know each other.”

“Be that as it may, if your plan is to remove yourself from this residence, then you’ll need to establish a custody agreement with Mr. Rustanov before you do so.”

Sam darted another disbelieving look towards Nikolai, this one soaked with derision. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and said, “Fine. What does he want? Holidays, Birthdays, every other weekend? Would he like me to arrange for a nanny for this child, too, so the baby can spend all of Mr. Rustanov’s agreed upon custodial time with her?”

Nikolai flinched at her harsh assessment of his parenting skills, but her words bounced of Kevin as if the lawyer was made of Teflon.

“Actually, he’ll be taking full custody of the child, and you’ll be the one who needs to decide whether you’ll cooperate with us.”

Kevin brought up his leather briefcase and pulled out a sheaf of papers. “If you sign this custody agreement now, we’ll guarantee you weekends and holidays. If you force us to take this case to a judge after the child is born, then we won’t feel obligated to give you any access to the child at all.”

“What?” Samantha asked, her voice hot with anger. “Okay, I understand Nikolai’s good at hockey or whatever, but there’s no way in hell a judge is ever going to give him full custody of a child. This isn’t Pavel. I’m this baby’s biological mother!”

“Sure, sure,” Kevin said, folding his arms. “And you’ve done a lot of good work at your shelter.”

“Shelters,” she corrected. “I’ve opened two. My plan is to establish a Ruth’s House in every state before I die.”

“That’s very noble,” Kevin said with a patronizing nod. “Especially considering your background.”

Samantha froze and Nikolai could see her struggling to keep her face composed as she said, “You mean the fact that I’m from Detroit? I know it’s not the most upstanding city in the world, but that’s not enough of a reason to deny me custody of my child.”

“Yes, but unfortunately murder in the first degree, which you committed less than a year after moving to Indiana, is.”

Nikolai watched Samantha falter, wondering how she’d handle what was coming next. “How—” Samantha stopped and tried again. “Why do you think I murdered someone?”

Kevin leaned down over the chair she was sitting in to address her now, his voice quiet, as if he were letting her in on a little secret.

“You should know, Ms. McKinley, this area of law gets a little tricky. You see, you murdered your stepfather on your eighteenth birthday. The courts decided to try you as a juvenile so your file was sealed and technically it would be inadmissible in court. But here’s what I think you can understand about me, given my dealings with a few of your shelter clients. I’m a good lawyer. A very good lawyer. And if I didn’t think there was a way to get that file unsealed, given you were technically eighteen when it happened, I would not have taken Mr. Rustanov’s case. I’m not in the habit of losing, and I know I can convince a jury of your peers that not only are you a bad prospect for motherhood, but also a potential danger to your child.”

Kevin grinned at her like the predator he truly was, and leaned even further down to say, “After I’m done you won’t even get weekend and birthday access to your child. You killed a man, Ms. McKinley. You don’t get to sit there and act like you would be a better parent to this child than my client.”

For a moment Samantha did nothing, she simply sat, still as a wood dove, as if Kevin’s words had frozen her. But then she reanimated.

“Fuck you,” she hissed, her eyes wide and angry. “Fuck you and your dirty lawyer tricks.”

Then she turned to Nikolai, her beautiful face thunderous with rage. “You are fucked up for doing this. And obviously the only thing you care about is getting your way.”

Nikolai forced his face to remain blank, despite the rage churning inside of him. “
Nyet
, you want everything go your way. Me never seeing my child, you getting to raise it with someone else.”

“Yes, I’d rather this child live with someone who loves it and is capable of even being a halfway decent parent!” she screamed back. “So sorry for having the baby’s best interest in mind instead of your ego!”

And then he could no longer contain himself. He leapt out of his own seat and roared, “You do not know me! You do not know of what I am capable! I will not let you keep my child from me!”

“I don’t know you because you don’t talk to me. Like ever! You communicate with me through your assistant and whenever I try to talk to you about anything remotely personal, you shut me out.” She shook her head at him, her eyes full of disgust. “And now you’ve invited this snake into what should have been an adult discussion between you and me. You and me, Nikolai.”

“I invited him because you forced my hand.”

Her eyes continued to burn hot with rage as she answered, “I didn’t force your hand. I made a reasonable decision to move out because I’m an adult who cares deeply about your nephew and I don’t want to hurt him or confuse him. And I feel that way because I’m a good person—maybe not on paper,” She jerked her head toward Kevin, “And maybe not according to this scumbag lawyer you’ve hired, but I know my worth. I’m a good person, and I’ll be an amazing mother because I’ll always put this child first, not my own selfish pride—”

She stopped in the middle of her passionate speech, suddenly looking stricken. Her hand came up to her mouth and she glanced around frantically, before running past Kevin and Nik and into the study’s private bathroom.

Soon after, there came the sound of retching and regurgitated food hitting toilet bowl water.

A stunned Kevin looked over at Nikolai. “Well, I’ve gotten a lot of reactions to my proposed custody suits, but that’s a first.”

Nikolai didn’t respond. Just stared at the door Samantha had slammed closed, her angry accusations still ringing in his ears.

“Should we reschedule for tomorrow?” Kevin asked. “I mean we still haven’t gotten the paperwork signed—”

“You go now.” Nikolai told him. “I will take care of rest.”

“Are you sure?” Kevin asked with a confused frown. Nikolai recognized in him a kindred spirit. Someone who was used to seeing dirty work through to the end.

But in this case, his services were no longer needed. A new plan formed in Nikolai’s head. One he didn’t bother to explain to the lawyer as he headed out of the room to put together his weapons arsenal.